YOU AREN'T ALONE

There's a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely, the former is just that - you are alone, with few or no one around you, the latter is a feeling of isolation even in the midst of friends and loved ones where your inner thoughts are cocooned in a dialogue of their own usually linked to a mind condition or a feeling that things aren't going so well. It could however be that you have "moved on" in life and those around you whilst good people don't offer anymore the support you need and the type of camaraderie you require to enjoy life. It's very easy to be judgmental here but "Feeling Alone" is a very personal thing and it's purely down to the individual as to how they perceive life. Sometimes it's the little things in life that can trip us up the most, like the little stones in our shoes, as small as they are they produce great discomfort and we have to literally stop to remove same. Even when everything appears to be going well, we can feel totally "out of it" to the extent that we go through the motions of life and robotically laugh, join in make arrangements etc, whilst at the same time our minds are literally elsewhere, and our thoughts are churning around discussing life and how we best fit in with it all and that 'elusive' goal of satisfaction and completeness or lack of it.

How we perceive life is down to us, this stays with us throughout the whole of our lives so it's vitally important that we get some semblance of understanding as to who we are, where we are and all that surrounds us. If we have a belief then we already know that God is at hand, for those that don't believe or believe in some weird evil religion then you just winge and moan and still nothing happens. The fact that when we go through an ordeal we do feel alone even if at times we come across others who have or are going through the same thing, there's always a 'let out' clause for them but never yourself, it's this 'self' that holds us back. Very few if any at all are experiencing something unique, even if it's unique to ourselves, it's our 'mind-set' and that mind set can be pivotal as to how we pull through, come through or deal with life and enjoy it all at the other end. Nothing lasts for ever be it good or bad, having said that the median in between can give a rewarding life that's fun and productive and sharing amongst fellow man. Even if we go to the doctors and receive some tablets etc, we receive tablets because somewhere there are 1000's of others needing the same remedial drug for the same problem.

There are various "chat lines" and "blogs" and suchlike that are user friendly and directed towards specific topics where people can openly under a pseudonym pour out their problems to like minded souls and receive correspondence of encouragement and help and advice, and at times this can be the best help around. Often knowing that you are not alone can be so elevating that the severity of the problem can be almost halved in a split second. Whether we have a secret fetish, secret desires or feelings which to us are "all out of the ordinary" finding that "other" person or persons can make a world of difference and if we seek we will find, although those others we seek will be hiding in the background so diligence is par for the course. We can be our biggest problem, and we are experts at making up excuses for ourselves and why it's always easier for someone else but in "my" case, it's just not possible or too difficult, and so the pathetic trail of excuses goes on and on and on, and nothing gets resolved. One main element of freeing up the self is to detach oneself literally from the public gaze in as much as you neither want nor need comments or opinions of others who know nothing of your plight even if they know you personally, there's always that little something they don't know and everyone should understand that about everyone else.  

Liberating the self is essential, it doesn't mean making public your feelings nor anything else it just means taking charge of whom you are and walking with it, without explanation to others, which at times others who can actually semi-demand to know what you have been up to and if you don't let on they get upset, so let them, boundaries always need to be respected and if their assessment of you changes then so be it, for at times if you acquiesce to their demand you not only lower your own self esteem they may just not understand and walk away anyway, you have to judge this yourself. On the other side of the fence you may be in a precarious position whereby you need friends just for emotional support but it's essential that you have the right friends and the right quantity and quality of support for if it's too much either way it can become burdensome and topple all you seek as support. Even in times of dire need when the world looms large and you feel so inconsequential you are not by yourself, there are solutions, ways out and as difficult as it is in such a state making a move is a 100% better than doing nothing. The journey of a hundred miles takes one first step, take that step for yourself in nothing else.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

HEALING THE MIND

As pressures grow and people seem to want more magic in their lives or pills to pop to stave off reality or try and deal with it from a distance or indulge in the "blame culture" mentality as if to admonish themselves from just about all eventualities in life and smugly continue on their dull way forward, there are side effects which won't go away. We all know deep in our hearts what is right and what is wrong, we all have deep within what is moral and what isn't, we all have deep rooted in ourselves happiness not only for ourselves but others too, we can lie, cheat, pretend, but it doesn't hide the fact that we know otherwise. There are books, DVD's, television documentaries and seminars about "healing the past" or words to that effect, but there is nothing new and what's more whatever you do now regardless is not ever, ever, ever, ever, going to change the past. Nothing you do now is ever, ever, ever, ever, going to erdacate the thought or situation or happening or how you feel now because how you feel now is directly under your control. Atrocities of the past augmented in a different time line, under different circumstances, under different conditions with a different mentality cannot be absolved or made "alright" nor "healed" nor anything else, they were and are as they are history, the statement of "healing the past" is man made as it cannot happen as it has already been healed anything more at a later time is no more than PR.

All this business "we need resolution" - "then we can move forward" is modern day twaddle as "resolution" doesn't have any power nor access nor denial to a better life, only you can do that. If you hold a fictitious point in life as a benchmark that you cannot go further until that has been resolved then so be it, but make no mistake YOU have created it as it doesn't exist whatsoever other than in your mind. It's not that saying "sorry" or finding the "answer" isn't good, but if you are waiting for that you have literally put your authority in someone else's hands, which is pathetic and totally stupid, and makes you look pathetic too. By all means remember the dead and what good they did or what they suffered but this has NOTHING to do with God nor respect nor anything else, it won't change a single thing even if you yourself feel that is does, that's just you conjuring up that thought in your mind as a 'feel good' factor, but that's all it is, you don't get "bonus points" in life for doing any such thing. (Although it makes good press and TV coverage as they can drag up the past and regurgitate it all again). Similarly not so savoury deeds that happen within families that are made a feature of a 'dark moment' in the family and passed around do nothing whatsoever as to assisting the future to grow and be positive, feature making of memories speaks volumes of smallmindedness.

On a more personal level we all need to "feel" that things are right in life, we all dislike injustice, we all dislike the "bad guys" we all dislike unfairness, we all dislike deceit, we all dislike abject rudeness and bad mouthing, and we all like to know or feel that those that go against the grain are justly dealt with, despite the politically correct morons who see life from a different angle and have excuses for everything, and are in themselves a bane on society. By and large all of that does happen and even the police have to adhere to the stupidity of protocols and "I have my rights" which if you commit a crime should be waved immediately. We don't live in a perfect world at all and it's becoming more litigious and meaningless, however our own lot we can totally control and should guard strenuously and uphold because if we don't no one else will. Interference from others no matter "how well meaning" should be avoided as outside help often shares little of the bond others have between themselves and relationships that equal 100% can be as stilted as 90/10 and work perfectly, this is where "onlookers" even those who love you go way above their station in the advice stakes. Healing of our mind isn't a step in life, it isn't a protocol, it's what we decide to make it as it doesn't exist, even if one deep down seeks a degree of fairness to have taken place but hasn't so far. It will NEVER hold you back whatsoever unless you decide it will, speaking on behalf of the dead is not smart it's smug and conceited, taking on a statement of which you have no authority other than what you have bestowed upon yourself.
  

If what you seek, whether it's an apology, or sorry or admission of responsibility etc, is received it still hasn't changed anything towards the aggreived or dead, they will not have a better "after life" or whatever. And if they believed in God and you do then you must know all earthly atrocities are null and void in Heaven where truth and understanding and pure love exists. So it's YOU who is dealing as almost the "Devil's advocate" in trying to play God on an earthly scenario. It may appease you mentally but what most people find is when their plight has been acknowledged and they say "it can all be put to rest now" they find that within themselves there is an enormous void which never ever gets filled or quenched, appeasement is one thing of the self is another. Of course it's who and how we are that makes us do what we do and for what purpose, often the purpose isn't quite as straight forward as it's made out to be with hidden agendas and selfish motives to try and uphold the self and give a purpose also to the self using the cause as a conduit for something missing in their own lives.

Some people - for many reasons - culture is one of them, can never 'let go' of hurt and whilst they say they believe in God they don't otherwise they wouldn't say what they have done. Retribution and saying "God will punish you" are two elements that these cultures just can't seem to eradicate from their vocabulary, which is their biggest downfall and explains why they are failures and wherever they are in numbers there is permanent unrest. If you respect yourself then life is predominantly good, if you harbour negativity then you will reap exactly what you have sown. Being two faced isn't an answer to anything and it doesn't even bode well as to any healing of any kind especially the mind where it plays havoc. Your life is yours, don't build upon the past its gone for good, tomorrow is where you are to end up, make sure it's a good tomorrow, and never ever follow anyone else's dream or crusade.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SEPARATING OURSELVES FROM CIRCUMSTANCES

We all fall victim at times to circumstances as they temporarily take over our own will and we thus become an alien to oureselves, this can happen when we have a death in the family, made redundant, diagnosed with a serious condition, have financial problems, etc, they affect directly our way of life and hit hard on our emotional stability. Of course we are not all the same and some people seem to worry about everything whereas others seemingly worry about very little and take whatever comes as it is and deal with it accordingly. There's no right or wrong we are who we are and administer areas of our lives the best we can. Sometimes things stagnate or get worse because we are ignorant and fail to seek help or assistance or advice which is what many do to their detriment. Ego, pride, self smugness etc, tends to creep in and we scorn knowledge that others may have built upon in similar circumatances of others and the possibilities that exist to ease the burden or relieve the mental stress that one has swimming around in their heads. Too many people walk around with the "I know best" attitude not knowing that the options thay have have just been negated because of the lack of clarity and forsight of the self. Carrying problems around in one's mind is not smart, it's not respectable, it's not a pennance for anything of the past, it's not necessary, it doesn't change anything, it doesn't promote anything, it doesn't justify anything, it doesn't preserve your identity and deeds, it doesn't help with the future, it doesn't contribute to your friends and family, it doesn't gain sympathy it grates on others as they look upon you as pityful, it's not a prelude to better things in the future, in short despite the severity of whatever it is you harbour it doesn't lead anywhere positive.
Our attitude towards life is paramount to how we live it, it's the base of all of our thoughts and feelings coming together to present whom we are to the world, our "Shop window", and whilst what lies behind that "Shop window" can vary enormously if the shop window looks and is shoddy, you know yourself you'll walk right on by. Whether it's raining, sunny, cold, snowy, etc, we can choose to be happy and bright, if we once start off the day with "Ohhhhh it's raining" then that's predominantly how the day will be and any other aspect related condition we have chosen will allow our feelings to match it. Those that look at the weather, see its raining and accordingly go forward determined to enjoy the day despite those obnoxious people they dislike at work, and missing the bus, and having to put up with the temporary office bercause of refurbishment, and things not being where they should be, and the party they are going to that evening that they are not too excited about, etc, the day is good and bright and yes they can smile and be civil to anyone regardless of how they are to them.

Failure, fear, loneliness, depression, etc, stem from taking hold of the circumstances around us and absorbing them like a sponge, we internalise them not seeing beyond the now and cogitating upon circumstantial aspects of life that could change or alter in a flash or offer solutuions and alternatives that because we don't know of we revert inwardly with a melancholic feeling. Habits and family traits are often a basic cause of this, the tendencies are if our families are negative then we have a chance to be negative too, and the opposite if our families are positive towards life in general then so are we. However, we all have choices and can directly change towards a positive mode should we really want to. Like "Soap TV" everything revolves around trivia or someone else's problems and smallmindedness, for without smallmindedness there wouldn't be a plot. It's one thing to watch such on television but many live in a smallminded arena in life and their lies their downfall and lack of real potential. It's almost failure in the making, with you feeding the ingredients towards it.    

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

ADVANCED LIVING

How we get on in life can at times be something of a lottery in that what we expected can suddenly just go out of the window and we are left standing pondering about what to do next and more to the point how do we go about what to do now as our mind goes blank. We like to think we have the potential to stave off "negativity" in our lives or that perhaps we are resourceful and should events arise of a not so nice nature we can cope. Sadly for many when the Tsunami of life really does hit then it's a real shock, whether it's health, relationship, financial, work related or whatever else it can be the  mind takes a hit and the aftershock can be devastating, knocking one's self esteem and self security into a frenzy of  nothingness. However we plan our future it's a bit like flying an aircraft, we need to make course corrections en-route otherwise we will not arrive at our destination. Many people get to where they are in life by default, sometimes where they end up is not quite that accessible and it renders life more of an existence of living as opposed to a place which is harmonious and joyful and brings with it that feeling of excitement every day they get up.

Wealth has very little to do with enjoying life even if it brings with it opportunities or the availability of more options. As hard as it may appear or seem or not wanted to be understood is that our happiness is within us, what we can't achieve or our ego or desire can't access causes us untold inner mayhem that plays on our mind as an almost subliminal programme that is constantly replaying itself thus taking the edge off of life. Our success is always relative, what others appear to have as success is but a culmination of circumstances which produce a result, and just because those circumstances of the self are not of a similar proportion does not mean anything less. Our own personal ideology and take on life plays a vital part too in how we both assess life and how we thus accordingly respond to it, so we can in effect be the cause of our own downfall of short comings in life. It's at this point that many people make an assessment of themselves one which is grossly unfair or even based on a fallacious substance but never the less causes them to feel out of kilter with life and what they think they should feel like and it then starts to bring them down to a level which is purely self induced.

Our personal stability is the vital link to happiness, contentment, fulfillment, purpose, definition and that fabulous feeling that we can get that life is good regardless of circumstances and what is displayed on the news. If we don't have this and many don't then life is forever a series of ups and downs and struggles and wishes and thwarted dreams and disappointments and let downs and then we live in a cloud of consternation which makes our journey a troublesome one. Once we reach this stage others around us start to appear on predefined levels based upon where we are and that has negative values that we find difficult to come to terms with and they too see that we are not fully connected with them and thus relationships start to wane a little if at times diminish into something of a valueless entity. No on should live for the sake of it, feeling wanted and needed is part of the human condition and if we can't accommodate others in our lives then we will render our own purpose on a substandard level.                    

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

MIND GAMES

Mind games are not nice, it has to be said, games are fun, but mind games literally destabilise us, cause us to think weird thoughts, do weird things and worst of all start to scheme ourselves about things we shouldn't be even thinking about. The broad spectrum of mind games is far reaching in that it encompasses just about everything around us and inter-reacts with how we view life and those we care about and those we don't much care about in life too. It's not as if we are deceitful, although some are, it's we like to play safe with as much of life as we can because we can steer our own ship but we can't stop what's around us, the bits out of our control from happening and causing potential problems, and they do. We tell many a little white lie from a genuine concern for the truth as at times it would spoil a whole host of decisions and open up a can of worms which would or could have far reaching implications that would not be worth the end result. We can even feign that we have forgotten our partners birthday only to reveal that we have laid on a fabulous dinner with the chocolates, champagne, flowers and whatever else there is to follow, so it's all done with the very best intentions and like many a white lie there is no ulterior motive for personal gain or subterfuge of any description. Although having said this it's not an advert to go around telling white lies as if it's an OK thing to do, as like any habit, it doesn't stop there.

We play mind games with our young children to coax them into doing things or usually stop doing things as they are often quite mindful and wilful in what they do or perceive has an end result, even if they can't quite fathom out what it is. We play mind games with our friends often playfully mentioning certain "buzz words" that we know will "get them going" but as it's done playfully we both get away with it and to some extent they allow it to be a part of the "knowing" friendship that has evolved and has no malice of forethought nor anything else. We are all different and there isn't a base standard as what one sees and does and thinks it's "cool" others almost shudder at the thought of it all. The very worst mind games however have to be those of emotional blackmail, and here women have the edge at times as some can at the drop of a hat feign tears and upset to try and not only get noticed but to solicit sympathy and get their own way. Moodiness can affect everyone should they allow it and it's a manifestation of nothing more than pure unadulterated selfishness. In fact as e get a high from being happy the same self same effect can be achieved but from a negative stance from being unhappy especially if its self induced. The body secretes hormones that gives us a feeling that many wallow in and thus pout and become sullen and irascible and introverted with outward developed signs as if to attract attention for pity and solace, whereas it's nothing more than a manifestation of real selfishness and deceit and should not be entertained in any way.

Relationships falter because of mind games as do businesses too. There comes a point in both where the recipient starts to see the bigger picture and reverts from being the victim to the victor and starts to move on. You can only give someone the power to overcome you or influence you if you allow it otherwise it's 'water off a ducks back' an no matter how many unpleasant things are thrown at you if you don't catch them you've already won the game. Unfortunately many people allow ego to interject and just can't keep their mouths closed and reply so now it's like a tennis game, ping poning too and from whereas if you'd caught the ball and walked away - game over. Life is what it is, so it's imperative that we make it as easy for ourselves knowing than ANY negative emotions is going to cause a raised feeling of lowness somewhere down the line. As Gandhi put it well "The weak can never forgive, Forgiveness an attribute of the strong", and this can be seen throughout the world especially with some religiously based cultures. Playing games with life is just that, it's manipulation that always has consequences, if those around you are prone to such things, stay clear, no excuses, you deserve better so achieve it for yourself and allow others to enjoy a better quality of life via their relationships.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

CHERRY PICKING LIFE

We all like to have the best in life it's almost a natural instinct we are selective when we shop and selective about the people we have in our lives too. Within all of that most people have a degree of compassion, love and understanding which allows us to share with others aspects of themselves, the opposite of which is called "selfishness". Similarly in other aspects of our lives we almost veer on the side of "cherry picking" and his includes quite a number of areas within our lives that we take ownership of. One of those areas is religion, if one believes in God then the chances are you are a member of some religious belief as opposed to believing in God directly as all religions are man made and therefore have faults and added bits and pieces. Many like to cherry pick the nice and easy bits to fit in with their lifestyle and understanding and the rest well, tend to allow it to reside at the back of the mind. This tends to actually be the rule of thumb for many in their lives as they tailor aspects of themselves and thus hone more specifically to aspects that concern them or make life easier. 

The problem at times with "cherry picking" life is that it can be habitual and thus we can both live and work in an abridged version of it missing out on various aspects and not acknowledging much of what is needed to give life substance. We can also ride roughshod over others and gradually this will make us appear both aloof and not fully engaged, which will after a time be the case and life will end up as short bursts of 'what I want" at he expense of others values. Whilst here is nothing wrong with looking after No.1 in life (yourself) it can render  the self somewhat incomplete and not having the assistance nor help of others when needed, which at times is essential. No man is an island. Furthermore if "cherry picking" becomes almost second nature then it will have very adverse effects upon any type of relationship whether with a significant other or just friends and associates and possibly communicational skills in general. Like everything in life balance is the key point, we should always be wary of people who constantly "cherry pick" who are around us as you will be always way down the list on their priorities if at all at times and there's no reason that by default knowing this you should allow yourself to be put into such a position.

The opportunities that abound around us are infinitesimal so we rightly need to pick upon both those which suite our purpose and our character too, it's this fine honing that makes life what it is. At the same time we really do need others for if we don't have any significant people in our lives loneliness starts to creep in and that really can be a major problem, and indeed is for many. Psychologically we need to feel needed, loved, wanted and need to feel that we want others even if it's just a "best friend" if we negate all of this then we start to develop psychosomatic feelings which can be very varied and be our downfall with regards mental health  and stability. Having said all of that we can "cherry pick" on behalf of those we like or care for in that we wish them to have the best of what is on offer or available so our deeds of compassion and understanding not only come through but are rewarded by a heightened camaraderie rather than isolation. Everyone makes their own way in life regardless of others, we have to be the masters of our own course and manoeuvre our around whatever is head of us, make sure the journey is wholesome and then enjoy the ride.        

 For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

OUT OF SORTS WITH LIFE

How we feel about life varies from moment to moment, sometimes we just feel "out of it" for no apparent reason, other times there are a number of issues going through our minds and at other moments we just lose focus on whom we are where we are going and that possibly life isn't offering much in the area of stimulus or excitement. Our reality is what we live in, whatever life is or isn't it's our take on it that makes us think and feel the way we do. Our reality can make our lives or lead us down a road of hard work and toil, it can cloud our judgement, our thoughts, our feelings, our clarity and our overall happiness factor. Whatever we experience we process it via our minds and take whatever course of action we deem appropriate including becoming remorse, miserable and sullen, it's self pity taking over but the bottom line is it's you who has instigated it, no one else. There is no such thing as "well you'd be like this if you had ..... " or "life has made me this way" life has done no such thing, if you want to be selfish and small minded that's a choice you have made, it's not like a virus that you can pick up. Of course mild forms of depression are a different matter, often circumstances and solutions weight heavily and we can't process it all proficiently enough so we go into a dull state of regressive thought, yet here again many induce such a state on to themselves as they actually feel it's a worthy and plausible thing to do which gains a degree of respect, where did that notion ever come from?  Some even think it's smart to say "I'm depressed", "I'm stressed" and throw in the Hollywood drama of responses and toned voice as if it heightens their credibility factor.

There is only one way to deal with life being out of sorts and that is to literally deal with it yourself by not giving in and making yourself feel bad. Everything has a lifespan, both good and bad things come to an end and circumstances change but facing up to adversity is by far the best way to keep your mind, body and soul in pristine condition and enjoy the life ride as opposed to enduring it then harbouring the memories. For those who were seeking an easy option or an answer that's far easier and there are many who perpetually seek the easy way if foolishly, you reap what you sow. For those that "get on" in life and just "do it" the rewards are great as is self confidence, understanding, compassion, drive, happiness and fortitude. If we can't keep a good council then no one else can do it for us no matter how much they want to. What goes on in our heads is ours and only ours and no manner of help, advice or strategies given by others will change how you think unless you want that to happen.

Life is what it is, it doesn't have the ability to make a choice for you or want to make it extra nice because it likes you or wants to "get back" at you because it doesn't, it's not that fragile nor thoughtful. Life is exactly what it is and that's a culmination of endless options and permutations coming together all at once all the time, hence change happens sometimes suddenly other times gradually, but change never the less happens. Life can throw into our pathway a demagogue of  choices all of which are not so savoury, similarly even the good choices have repercussions and strings to them. Our own verve and tenacity pulls us through, bestows a degree of authority, success and knowledge and it goes officially under the banner of experience. Whether we take heed of that experience and decide regardless to enjoy life is down to us, it's not a point of discussion for friends nor anyone else. The more we decide to enjoy and not be a sponge to what's around us the better life will not only become but our whole attitude and the attitude of others around us will improve and before we know it there will be an uplift from where we were to a more positive and refreshing stance in life. If we challenge the good to find credibility with the option of reverting back to bad if it doesn't pan out then you are really pathetic and need to alter your complete ideology about yourself and life. Like attracts like and negativity attracts negativity, positivity attracts positivity, your option, your choice.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

NEW TYPE DEPRESSION (NTD)

What many people are experiencing today is rejection in particular the young, it's not that they aren't any good or what they are doing is of no value or that indeed they haven't got any ability, it's just that they have been challenged by someone and they take personally to heart what has been said, and it's usually out of context. Strangely enough it's often "quite nice people" who tend to "suffer" from this feeling more than anyone else, although it's not exclusive. If you are an "all round" nice guy then you are basically accepted (as a person) wherever you go at whatever level and you tend to interact accordingly, make assessments of the situation at hand and predominantly get some form of feedback whether it's direct or indirect as to your judgement. When you start to get negative feedback or no feedback especially in a work environment even if it's not related to the quality of your work it starts to have a negative resonance and it either sparks an immediate anger or 'bithchy' retort followed by periods of silence (which is usually churning over and over the situation in your mind).  In what I do I seek information and views from others so as to build up views and opinions different to my own, that way I get a better and more informative balance on the subject in hand. It's also a case and I firmly believe one can never know it all and there's always something to learn no matter what even if it's just going though the process yourself.

Recently I was offered a series of sessions (initially one off's) with some "respected" business advisers in "respected" organisations, (which I get offered / becomes available from time to time) and prior to meeting up I had to fill in a questionnaire about a whole series of facts and figures about me, my work, and what I wish to achieve, all of which I can do with great ease now. Never the less I make sure what I put down is pertinent, accurate and with details to my websites / publications / and achievements to date, better too much than too little, you can always press the delete button but there isn't an "add/more" button. Bearing in mind these sessions are not cheap I was eager to learn and interchange ideas, views, and receive possibly new information or concepts about what I was wishing to do,etc.  And what a let down they were. The people concerned were very nice indeed, kind, hospitable, knowledgeable, fun, bright, sharp, and yet I felt so let down, they almost appeared like robots just going through one more client as if we were travelling together on a parallel road but in different cars. I left feeling somewhat "empty" within, and what a waste of time that was. And from the many years I've been in business all over the world there seems to be this type of cold advisory platform that I can well understand how many young people think and can now suffer from (NTD) New Type Depression. I wasn't depressed as in fact I leaned why many people don't respond the way they should and it's predominantly that they are treated "as another client" and there is NO personal inter-relationship, the advisers are not only incapable of it they don't even want to go there as it's too much trouble for them. Yet this is the spark that could kindle untold excitement, positivity and great success. Bog standard information is available all over the place most of it for free but much professional information seems to be governed by cost rather than quality and real client understanding.

 I get bombarded by companies offering conferences, seminars, workshops with supposedly well known names and what they impart, but most of it is disingenuous, subterfuge, and they like whores try to solicit as much as they can from you in return for solving your problems, making you successful, opening doors, raising your marketing game, telling you all about how they make it, and so on. They are so good in fact it's wonder they haven't been nationalised by the government and made compulsory in education so that everyone on planet earth can be as successful and wealthy too. And whilst some of these seminars after being offered at a high price, reduced price, special price, personal knock down price, etc, etc, do have good information it's all down to the 'solubility factor' and not flashy marketing to the endless stream of 'wannabies' attending wanting to up their game from basement to top floor in one go, or worse still looking for those elusive tips that will generate their protege from embryo to full gown in a flash. It never happens, except for real entrepreneurs who already have that in-built kudos to do it themselves. Indeed these marketing organisations are marketing themselves nothing more. Selling a hope like "anti-wrinkle" cream, it's bought to stave off age, but it only works as long as you use it, cures aren't yet developed. If after all your efforts, and your inner deep dream has not been delved into by a "business professional" (and there isn't such a thing as a "one size fits all") don't get alarmed as all the great successes like salmon swim against the tide, aircraft take off against the wind not going with it. If that "so called" master of knowledge hasn't touched all your buttons and you feel let down and cheated, it's because you probably have been. Don't let anyone ever tell you that your dream won't work, the greatest achievers in the world were told that including one President of the USA. Of course we have to be realistic too, but passion for what you want to do will pull you through, and if it turns out that it won't happen because of certain conditions / situations you will veer automatically into an area that will work. It's your story, don't let anyone else write it!!!!

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

WHEN IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

 Much of life is based upon perspectives, ideology, circumstances and situations, and that as we all know can differ radically not only from country to country but from person to person. We often ponder and wonder why someone did this or that or what possessed the government to do this or that because the consequences of such have drastically backfired, etc. We listen to politicians on television and at times with amazement wondering if they are on drugs or perhaps need to be or even are they of this planet, it's often that groups of people change their opinions when engaged in different strata's of life. We hear architects waxing lyrically about buildings with sweeping lines and wooden facades that will age with time and blend in, yet all we see is a clinical cold object with unkempt  faded cladding that appears neglected cold isolated and without any warmth that is an ideal medium to cause repressive thoughts and a home to vandalism and graffiti. We hear local government talk of multi-culturism, yet all we see are swathes of foreigners in enclaves that are the new ghettos and where everyone else keeps away even commerce so it houses alien cultural abnormalities and inbred dysfunctionality and gross isolation and then becomes run down and violence, drugs, poverty, crime and social inability creeps in and then they wonder why it's all happened. A slum run by social services and then that's the beginning of the end if not the end already, designer built problems from lax attitudes, stupid and weak minds.

A lot of life is way beyond what we have any control over, not that we need to give up or admonish ourselves of any responsibility nor keep our opinions to ourselves. Never end up like some politically correct idiot that tries to stymie conversation as opposed to allowing free thought, if others get upset, so be it, it's for them to get over it. Often why people get upset is that the truth hurts so they never actually talk about it themselves or they are by nature inferior and seek compassion by taking sides, it never works, they all eventually die lonely. We don't have to make sense of a great deal in life for we do not have to engage with others ideals, morals, perceptions etc, as long as we keep ourselves in tow and others similarly then the sum of the greater usually wins the day, and fortunately most people adhere to a commonality of good. Logic is a good baseline in life, often people action deeds based on temporary emotions then realise afterwards how pathetic they were at the time but then it's too late. Great statesmen can "see" the difference and utilise appropriate rhetoric to put their points across most people don't have that ability, similarly many politicians don't either unfortunately. There is however a case for tempering logic with emotional tack, as logic often is cold and at times ruthless and whilst on paper it may all work well in reality the physicality of actions often flounder because the humanitarian traits are not taken into account.

We need to understand where our thoughts come from that they are accurate and not just something thrown together based upon biased news from the media or a viral video on YouTube. We need to focus aptly upon ourselves to make sure that we are OK not selfishly but accurately and that our lives are important and not the hub of some plan organised by the government or other heartless body. If it doesn't make sense then you have two options it either isn't accurate or you can't grasp what the bigger picture is all about, and it maybe that you don't understand either. The worst thing you can do however is to make an opinion up just for the sake of it because that will stick with you. If you don't know or prefer not to say then so be it, there's no one who can force you only yourself or your lack of self esteem that makes you feel a lesser person and that should never happen. You are totally entitled to be who you are, even if you are wrong, no one is right all the time ever. If you can't make sense of anything either seek "expert" help / opinion, or move on, but don't deliberate on ignorance as that will throw you into a scenario that clouds both your life and your whole integrity.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

GETTING CONNECTED

There's a lot written about networking, 6 degrees of separation, who you know, etc, it's the "in thing" today to give everyone instant success. Just read a book, go to a network meeting, join a Business site (and they are popping up like the plague), and the rest will happen naturally. We will meet whoever it is that we need and that "Knight in Shining Armour" will say "You are just the person I've been looking for" and from there onwards it's all history. It's really that simple isn't it, that proverbial person 'out there' just waiting to meet up with us, the answer to why we can't do it alone, that conduit to greatness just a meeting away. Anyway, I must stop dreaming and come back to reality and look coldly at the real people I seem to meet at 'networking events'. No matter who we are and what we do we need people in the chain of life for without them nothing much happens. However what we seek from others, others may seek from us, and that's where in many cases the whole theory of networking no matter what guise it goes under 6 Degrees or whatever comes tumbling down. It doesn't matter what targeted audience one has it's all down to the individual and who they are as people or a person, what their hidden agenda is or what their motives are and how as an individual their characters are.

From the many networking meetings I been to all over the world I've come across the same people, mean, selfish, greedy, insincere, 'wannabies', often quite nice to talk to, but wanting to take but not give, if you can't help me I'm not going to help you, insipid and dull people, those seeking clues about how you do what you do but don't give anything of themselves, those wanting your contacts for themselves but still offer nothing of themselves and so it goes on. And I have to say I have met some fantastic nay fabulous contacts, but like mining diamonds you need to shift hundreds of tons of earth miles below the surface to even get near to the possibility of getting one. I write about the "gatekeepers" in life and those that hold back and retard others but here I must be honest and say I fall fowl of that very same thing and act as a gatekeeper myself, and this is where the 6 Degrees falls short. I do pride myself that if I can help some one I will, no reciprocation necessary, I have been helped tremendously all over the planet by people who have asked nothing of me but just wanted to help me because they could, and I like to follow that line of thought too, and do so to the best of my ability. I like to think that I am cool and level headed and have been through some dire situations been kidnapped, shot at, been on my own in deserts and jungles and still been able to smile and come through each event. But for some reason there are certain types of people at networking events that really raise my blood pressure. And yes I realise it could just be me that finds such events the way they are but it's all very real and at times not only frustrating but a wasted event, coming home with dozens of business cards I never look through ever again.

The human being is such a simple yet complex creature and those seeking are often those who are the most needy and thus formulate an agenda that overtakes their humanitarian instincts and clouds their judgement and that camaraderie of mind, body and soul. The warmth they have is on elastic and whilst openly looks and feels sincere the moment you turn your head it flies back as you are of no use to them. It's not that you can always reciprocate help to those that give you saged advice or knowledge as they may not need what you have got, but it's a matter of instant trust and feel, and if you just don't like someone for whatever reason the chances are you are not going to help them or give them your contact to your best friend or long established business contact that they need because it doesn't rest well within. One thing for sure is that if we don't give we are not going to receive, it will all eventually peter out and we will become so used to being smug that we will live in a concocted world of our own making. To be successful we need others as they need us, we can't be successful just on our own it takes others to both implement what we do and eventually buy our products or services. Our attitude is everything it is our "shop window" to successful contacts and conduits and breaking barriers and getting past the "gatekeepers", but unfortunately for many it's tainted too much about the 'self' and at that point everyone loses interest.      

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SHOWING YOUR EMOTIONS

We are by default sentient human beings although I think some will throw that in question, never the less it's a mark of a superior being. As a race we are marvellous people, it's only the trappings and conditions that tend to thwart our real ability to grow such as those in the third world and the dearth of religions that restrict life and cause repression as opposed to praising their God and allowing growth. They all suffer who believe in fear and restriction as can be seen by their backwardness in life and the way they have to rely on others to develop what they find incapable of doing themselves. Our emotions are one of the prominent aspects of our lives, we move throughout the whole of our life via an emotional wave, some days it's relatively calm others it's vibrant in every way. It's these which give us our feelings and in turn we feed off of these feelings and react according to how we deem it is expedient. We have within us free will and therefore we have negative emotions too such as envy, greed, jealousy, selfishness, anger, arrogance, etc, and these in turn are linked to how we feel as a person. If we are relatively secure in life then we get on quite well and cope where we have to. If we are not so secure then we readily pick up the negative emotions and feel moody, angry, jealous, etc, and start to use these emotions to our benefit - or so called benefit - to try and get our own way. It's called emotional blackmail and it's the lowest of levels one can almost stoop to. Where people feign tears in order to gain sympathy, be moody in order to try and get their own way and so on. Keep well away from such people and don't ever pamper to their debased thoughts

Many a young "thug" type of person has difficulty in showing emotion, it's almost a "sissy" thing to feel upset, angry yes, but upset or loving - forget it. This misplaced understanding results in a life of trials and tribulations and dares and a whole host of random stupidity, when deep down the onset of real love from anyone that cares is what is most needed. After all with real love - unconditional love - hurt and upset and anger don't come into the equations (back to why some religions are always killing and getting upset - evil doctrines). Governments are useless at such things as their agendas are power based and so when it comes down to emotional remedies they are also thuggish and impotent even if they pretend to understand. Of course societies and cultures play a big part in how we grow up and deal with life, some cultures are fiery and emotionally volatile whilst others are more controlled and think before they act. Some of the Eastern cultures are the worst in that they make a Hollywood drama out of anything as a means for others to help them, women there do this exceptionally well, it's all conditioning and religion and is a real far cry from living and life as it should be as it's always an Achilles heal for them. Then we get to the other extremes where manufactured effect is almost de regeur such as the real Hollywood awards where speeches almost turn your stomach over with the whet diatribe they come out with.  

People react to others emotions, we are judged by them, but it doesn't mean that someone who goes ape like has more feeling than someone who remains calm and stands their ground, it's often the latter that has more compassion and less theatrical selfishness. There is a time and a place and what the outward signs are don't always reflect the inner state. We tend to veer towards those that share our emotional position in life, it makes us feel more secure and in control and enables a more stable stance in life regardless of whatever happens. We can all cry with tears of joy or sadness a development of extreme emotion in both cases, some are more susceptible than others, and there's no detriment to ANYONE who sheds a tear, it's a natural part of yourself and something that one should never be ashamed of. However back to the "thug" scenario, the personal shame of being emotional or selectively emotional, whereas if they were real stable solid humans they would just be themselves and not live behind a facade that's unreal and designed to repress, a state of human failure. We can more often than not even with someone we don't know see through feigned emotions or those who enhance their joy or grief to effect self notice, selfishness has no limits and we can feel within those who are genuine and those who 'put it on', the emotional vampires always seeking others energy. It's good to show emotions as it's good to look good, it reflects who you are and the sincerity of who you are too. Never emulate others, don't cry at a funeral if you can't, don't laugh if you don't think it's funny, but do either if appropriate as and when it affects you, you're not on trial nor do you need approval or acceptance from anyone. Be yourself and allow the inner you to blossom.  

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

LIFE IN A DIFFERENT SHADE

Life is a variable commodity one moment it's fabulous another we are faced with anxiety, stress, upheavals and an unknown future, where once we had an idea as to where we were going or aiming for then next minute we are really not quite sure as to the feasibility of it or indeed anything else. Within the happy moments and the mayhem which live close by to each other we have a style and a standard of living that we enjoy relatively well even if it's not ideal. We have our favourites and our likes and then we have a routine and all of that produces a degree of stability and indeed harmony too. But overall taking into account the rough with the smooth is there something that would enhance our lives appreciably without stepping into realms of fantasy or drawing up a wish list which then produces a stress factor because they are desires which we rarely fulfil yet never the less exist once we mentally commit them. An example of such is a chap came into some money and bought a Ferrari which he loved, yet he constantly got speeding tickets so the element of his desire became a burden rather than a blessing as he just couldn't keep to speed limits and in a high performance car it's just so easy to speed up without realising it. What we sometimes desire can in effect unleash elements within us that changes our concept and exposes our weaknesses that we didn't before realise were there or had never had put to the test before. It's a case of "all things being equal" and of course that doesn't exist, which is not to say that certain things can definitely enhance or increase our pleasures in life over and above what we originally thought of.

Sometimes we just go on in life and as long as it doesn't jar on us we accept where we are and allow it to continue, a bit like the "if it's not broken don't fix it" adage. Yet life isn't that constant and it doesn't have to be broken to want to make it better from where we are and in reality do just little bits to enhance our state of play, which has the effect of literally elevating how we think and feel. We are products of our environment so it's only natural that we should keep it well honed and in pristine condition for it to allow us to respond to our own values in life and enjoy what's best within our abilities. We all reside at different levels some quite basic some palatial it matters not, enhancement or change at any level does the same trick, it raises our inner self and that is always a positive step. Whether we are single or have a house full of pattering tiny feet that's not of any significance or consequence it again is making small changes whether colourful or subdude or changing this n' that and deliberately doing so as opposed to waiting for something to break or become shabby then having to replace it. Our physical deed of being pro-active is what propels us forward and stops the rot or decay of time overtaking us and then feeling that there is always something to be done because life is dragging you forward as opposed to you steering your ship. This has a very big psychological effect on us, which route or stance we take.

Most people expect life to get better, they have hopes for a better future and happiness, and rightly so, our hearts are in the right place and our intentions are linked similarly to that forward point where we can enjoy life whatever it is for us at that future time. However if we don't do something now, or don't affect some degree of ongoing change what we end up with is our mind going one way full of hope and ideas and a life going another with little or nothing happening, a real dichotomy of thought and deed. Keeping on top and keeping pace is essential even in frugal times where we tend to procrastinate more about investing in our lives. What we don't want to do is end up at that future date just "having put up" with aspects of life all along  that we could have changed and enjoyed just from being ultra cautious or waiting until a default situation arises then the creativity of life is greatly reduced. Our lives vary enormously and what some accept as good others see otherwise, there's no race nor competition what there is however is "us" and are we worth it, and that demands a degree of respect and not personal complacency for it that starts to leach into your life it will manifest itself subliminally in your outward character, which is an obvious retrograde step. Life is not an endurance as to how long can we make things last, or put up with conditions until we are forced to change, enjoyment is at the top of our list whatever that is to us, make sure you are pro-active in the enjoyment stakes, even little changes can reap enormous rewards.
 
For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

DEEP INGRAINED BELIEFS

Over 85% of our thoughts, feelings, actions, habits stem from our inner self that's almost etched with our stubborn concepts of life, we do much in life without thinking about it,  it just comes automatically and we at times do things almost robotically especially routine or regular stuff. Surprisingly too much of our subconscious though is negative, it swirls around our minds and gets discarded in almost the same instant. Whether we have something substantial to think about or pressing matters that require focused thought or whether we are just routinely going about our daily chores our mind is flushed with both current thoughts and redundant thoughts all battling for attention. That's why at times we think weird or silly or impractical things about something or someone then wonder where it all came from. And whilst we do ponder and deliberate over itemised areas of our conscious we still have running wild as a back drop a whole host of thoughts and related feelings that we literally have to contend with even though we are used to it happening and at times take it all for granted until we feel low then get a headache.  

Many people of religious beliefs suffer from ingrained doctrines and one can hear almost without exception the way they talk almost blinkered to another reality that exists, bringing upon themselves repression, guilt, hardship, lack of love, narrowness, suffering, failure, and much overall unhappiness. Their vision and hearing is selective if not permanently impaired in that they see and hear only what they need to see and hear the rest doesn't exist, hence so much global unrest and thoughtless killings which are anything but Godly. But nearer to home many 'ordinary' people are brought up in an environment of underwhelmed activity and dulled intelligence and their formative years have from the outset been tarnished and for many 'set in' to their personal detriment. It's only education and life that breaks the cocooned mould and allows one to see the bigger picture and understand the microcosm of where they were self shackled into insularity, repression and self persecution.

Some societies also have views put out by their media and some state enterprises too that depict other countries from a re-arranged perspective or even restrict information from other countries. Even becoming more common is Western internal PR which has the Hallmark of deceit being both selective and light on content almost washing over how reality is and how others can't relate to how they are living and how they have been presented by a vision of falsehood. The problem with deep ingrained beliefs such as those prevalent in the Middle East is that nothing good comes about from it, everyone knowing the difference and under pressure living a dual existence saying but not doing for fear of repercussions. Yet at the same time internal pressure builds up like a volcano and once it erupts logic reason and common sense coupled with personal ego let rip and it then becomes a free for all. The likes of the UN or similar play politics and yes it all fails, playing politics doesn't hold any kudos when emotions out rule the self and logic and of course the greed bestowed with undemocratic governments. The same mind that corrupts is the same one that can save and care, it's just that the free will has been tainted by indoctrination of an unstable and unsavoury kind. Where one has free will one has to seek the truth and not a version of it but the real truth and then and this is the hardest part, believe it.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

AWAKEN YOUR SPIRIT WITHIN

Whatever your beliefs, your thoughts, etc, it changes nothing to the physical fact that you have within you a spirit that lives concurrently with every breath you take. The complexity of the human being is astounding, a bio-chemical mass that is intricately put together, or rather grown together to form whom we are. It's not only a miracle in itself even if blase scientific explanations make it sound simple, we are here a complexity of science living in a complexity of science, our world, both the greater physical world and our inner world, the one which is forever private, personal and unique to ourselves. That spark of life that makes us do what we do and fosters a drive to commune with other humans and bring about development, understanding and to a degree in civilised worlds harmony. The human being is by and large a "herding creature" despite the fact that it's vogue for everyone to "want their space" the biggest problem facing many is in fact loneliness and frustration. We need to feel that there is a value to life, a purpose and that there is something ahead of us or that "what's it all about" feeling starts to emerge which quickly destabilises us and that in turn causes endless mental and physical problems. Nothing in life no matter what it is exists in isolation, there are always causes and repercussions.

Our state of mind is everything, forget intelligence, knowledge, as neither automatically mean one has common sense, many an expert or professional in one or more subjects is screwed up personally and that brings life is to a low ebb and renders itself almost worthless. We are all different as people and have different trajectories in the way we want to go forward, some are almost self sufficient within to move on their own accord, some need every bit of help and push and incentive they can get, and the variance in-between runs wide. However what we do have within is both 'happiness' and that 'feel good' factor ability, it's with us whether we use it or not, and it's linked to the brain, so we can decide whether to turn it on or off. Granted bad news makes us feel initially not so excited and good news raises our spirits, but we still have the ability to make decisions based purely on being happy or acceding to circumstances and reacting accordingly and deciding to be sad or unhappy.

We see in advertising the word "spirit" it is commonly used as to denote a heightened experience or feeling, we even say 'low in spirits' or 'they are very spirited people', etc. The dictionary definition of "Spirit" is thus :- "the principle of conscious life; the vital principle in humans, animating  the body or meditating between body and soul" and "the incorporeal part of humans; present in spirit though absent in body". That vital element in our higher life form, the ability we have that can elevate our whole being subject to us allowing it to happen and living with a degree of lightness within. If we at all start to think negatively then our elevated processes are subject to a down grading, if we try our best despite what may beset and befall us to see the good in life then we will succeed, we will overcome. Of course there are those who go on courses and buy DVD's and downloads or read books on our "spirit" hoping that saged words of wisdom by someone else will suddenly propel them forward and all will be well, and of course that won't happen. There's no free lunch and admonishing yourself of doing anything for yourself by yourself it tantamount to sheer stupidity. If you can't think better thoughts then no one can do it for you, it's that simple. The beauty about human life is it has "free thought" (forget religious repression - not God, religion)) what we think is powerful stuff in that we can decide how we live, if we put our thoughts into a negative mode then we will reap a negative harvest if it's in positive mode then the sky is the limit. If you don't believe that then the chances of life becoming better may have already passed you by.
   
For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),