THE WILL TO LET GO

There's a lot spoken about the "will to let go", books describe the cathartic properties of "walking away" or "letting go" or "moving on" and to some extent it's all true. In most cases "letting go" is in reality easier said than done, it's often very hard to "let go" even when somethings aren't doing us any good whatsoever. The saying "better the devil you know is better than the devil you don't" rings true with many people but that always pre-supposes that what they are about to leave and enter into won't be any better, it usually is or the thought of leaving in the first place or moving on wouldn't have emerged. We all need to move on, let go of certain areas of our life, we leave home, get a new job, find a partner, and so it goes on. Familiarity is to some a way of life if not a comfort, routines, traditions, etc, are all very well and good but without modification of time taking place they can turn about face and start to both repress your life and you can actually regress as you tend to be stationary whilst life overtakes you. For most people "letting go" or "moving on" is a momentos task it takes a big change of heart and often dexterity to effect what they need to do and in the process it can affect a number of people who lose their degree of importance and position in life with regards to friendship and 'best friend type' status. By the same token those that make such a forward move often need to cultivate a whole new base for their lives including friends, neighbours, colleagues, associates, attitudes, environment, thoughts, perceptions and ideologies as to a new future from a different base.

There's a big difference between being selfish and doing something for yourself, being a martyr to yourself isn't smart, it's silly and will only bring on eternal regret and possibly hardship too. It's not that we can't or don't or won't give up something to help others especially those close to us but in the bigger picture what we do has a defined action and course that directs us forward. How we go forward is thus also defined by not only our actions but our attitude and our perceptions of life too. We are the only ones who can direct ourselves in life no matter what help we have or opportunities present themselves. Living with regret isn't an option if we do something we should do so with purpose even if it's not exactly what we would like, building up a store house of regrets and excuses is for the feeble minded and those that seek beyond whom they are. To move anywhere in life we must "let go" of where we are otherwise we just won't move, the circumstances of where we are and the parameters of where we live within and the conditions in which we allow ourselves to move alter quite significantly even for those who are predominantly sedentary. If we do nothing life takes us forward by default, so it's imperative that we do something no matter what to both effect a change to our betterment and place our own purpose firmly on the map. Anything less and we start to both lose the plot and become by default drones just wandering aimlessly and then the rot sets in.

Families, friends, relationships, comfort factors, etc weigh heavily when it comes to having to move on for some, for others they see the bigger picture and know that whilst the current status quo may be good and relatively wholesome, the future won't be an extension on the "now" as fragmentation takes place either by design or default and then the "I should have done this ages ago" thoughts spring to mind. There is also that thing called "the love walk" and if life is that good where you are then the love element from both within yourself and others will allow you to move onwards unheeded because with "love" in evidence only the best is good enough and if that means moving on then so be it and no bitterness, jealousy, envy, etc, will be there to tarnish it all. We are all different and what some do to move forward is a step too far for others, there's no wrong nor right in this, it is what it is, but even the very staid get bored in life and that need not happen, although much of what becomes of them is effected by a narrow attitude that does little for anyone let alone themselves. Letting go provides a paving of the way for the future list of unknowns but from a higher more updated stance, it's here that we can excel or find ourselves and allow our various aptitudes to flourish or at least give them a chance to blossom to some degree. Letting go is not always that easy emotionally even though the aspect of going somewhere better resonates well. We have to do what we have to do, but the bottom line is whatever decision you take don't make it rest with an excuse beside it, make it a committment that way you'll feel more secure and useful within.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

OUT OF SORTS WITH LIFE

How we feel about life varies from moment to moment, sometimes we just feel "out of it" for no apparent reason, other times there are a number of issues going through our minds and at other moments we just lose focus on whom we are where we are going and that possibly life isn't offering much in the area of stimulus or excitement. Our reality is what we live in, whatever life is or isn't it's our take on it that makes us think and feel the way we do. Our reality can make our lives or lead us down a road of hard work and toil, it can cloud our judgement, our thoughts, our feelings, our clarity and our overall happiness factor. Whatever we experience we process it via our minds and take whatever course of action we deem appropriate including becoming remorse, miserable and sullen, it's self pity taking over but the bottom line is it's you who has instigated it, no one else. There is no such thing as "well you'd be like this if you had ..... " or "life has made me this way" life has done no such thing, if you want to be selfish and small minded that's a choice you have made, it's not like a virus that you can pick up. Of course mild forms of depression are a different matter, often circumstances and solutions weight heavily and we can't process it all proficiently enough so we go into a dull state of regressive thought, yet here again many induce such a state on to themselves as they actually feel it's a worthy and plausible thing to do which gains a degree of respect, where did that notion ever come from?  Some even think it's smart to say "I'm depressed", "I'm stressed" and throw in the Hollywood drama of responses and toned voice as if it heightens their credibility factor.

There is only one way to deal with life being out of sorts and that is to literally deal with it yourself by not giving in and making yourself feel bad. Everything has a lifespan, both good and bad things come to an end and circumstances change but facing up to adversity is by far the best way to keep your mind, body and soul in pristine condition and enjoy the life ride as opposed to enduring it then harbouring the memories. For those who were seeking an easy option or an answer that's far easier and there are many who perpetually seek the easy way if foolishly, you reap what you sow. For those that "get on" in life and just "do it" the rewards are great as is self confidence, understanding, compassion, drive, happiness and fortitude. If we can't keep a good council then no one else can do it for us no matter how much they want to. What goes on in our heads is ours and only ours and no manner of help, advice or strategies given by others will change how you think unless you want that to happen.

Life is what it is, it doesn't have the ability to make a choice for you or want to make it extra nice because it likes you or wants to "get back" at you because it doesn't, it's not that fragile nor thoughtful. Life is exactly what it is and that's a culmination of endless options and permutations coming together all at once all the time, hence change happens sometimes suddenly other times gradually, but change never the less happens. Life can throw into our pathway a demagogue of  choices all of which are not so savoury, similarly even the good choices have repercussions and strings to them. Our own verve and tenacity pulls us through, bestows a degree of authority, success and knowledge and it goes officially under the banner of experience. Whether we take heed of that experience and decide regardless to enjoy life is down to us, it's not a point of discussion for friends nor anyone else. The more we decide to enjoy and not be a sponge to what's around us the better life will not only become but our whole attitude and the attitude of others around us will improve and before we know it there will be an uplift from where we were to a more positive and refreshing stance in life. If we challenge the good to find credibility with the option of reverting back to bad if it doesn't pan out then you are really pathetic and need to alter your complete ideology about yourself and life. Like attracts like and negativity attracts negativity, positivity attracts positivity, your option, your choice.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

THE LOVE EQUATION

Whatever we think about love it's an essential aspect of whom we are, as a sentient race we have an overwhelming degree of love built into us for without it we would be no better than drones or robots, just living to live. We also have free will built into us despite some religiously controlled countries that try to stifle it and thus produce nothing in return. People the world over have characteristics of their endemic societies or indoctrinated religious overtones which mould and hone their thinking for time to come. Where love is concerned one wouldn't want to enslave or capture or enforce people because it goes against the grain, except for those who go against society themselves such as villains etc. Freedom is a natural right even though some governments enforce restrictions for their own sake and not for the love of the people within it, thus the populous grows with alien views and often suffers because of it. Some societies are more caring than others and the mentality of the population plays a big part as to its prosperity, ingenuity and growth. If you love someone then the last thing you want to do is harm them, if you hate someone no matter what they do or say you want something to happen to them that's not so savoury. Some religions harbour retribution, hatred, killing, malice, "getting your own back" and so on, so there is no love involved only lip service and no more, it's all two faced and failure orientated.
 For some love is a difficult topic, they can't describe it nor its values but they certainly know when it's absent or missing from their lives. Similarly the more love someone has the more it exudes from them, the more those around pick it up and feel it whereas those that hide, squander, pretend, produce a facade, etc give off a degree of hollowness and shallow depth that goes along with their inability to persuade or convince others of their sincerity. And for those that hold on to love, that is they make a statement of only giving it out to those they deem expedient it's the most selfish act one can have. The more love is given out the more it is replenished and life gets appreciably lighter and brighter in the process, the by product of such is a feeling of well being too something that goes a long way to aiding mental stability. Love eases problems, it lubricates our way forward, it assists in us communicating better as the content is more sincere, it lightens the load allowing us to see better things ahead as opposed to wallowing in the darkness, it promotes better health and clarity of thought, it gives us strength of character and brings on degrees of humility that aids success knowing when to say what and not speak from an arrogant tongue that offends and ruffles others thoughts and feelings. Love is free we are born with it, it's a priceless commodity yet so often it's abused and taken for granted thus creating discord which follows and then let down and unhappiness are the byproducts of playing with it.

The strength of a nation is dependent upon love, free will love, not some controlled environment, hence many Middle Eastern, African, Eastern European environments are unstable, unproductive, mentally outmoded, and volatile, where greed, killing, unhappiness and selfishness foster themselves to those that absorbe it as a way of life. One only has to look at the statistics and the human rights record for these countries to see where the love level lies and it's pretty low, where governments at will have no compunction to kill as a means to an end, which includes and always has Russia and China too on that level. Tensions are always high where love is not an element as it opens up a "Pandora's box" of untold negativity that free flows far too easily and out pours itself in malice and deceit and pure selfishness, where compromise, compassion and understanding are overtaken by the "me, me, me" syndrome. Whatever governments do and whatever others do or say, you still have full control of your own mind and own thoughts, and the degree of love you carry within. If you choose to be angry and evil so be it, if you choose to be happy and loving so be it also, what you give out so will you both reap and endure, your love and happiness is in your hands.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

THE FUN AND JOY IN LIFE

Everything in life is a matter of balance, it's also a culmination of our take on life too, which incorporates our thoughts, feelings, understanding and those horrible elements negative emotions that include, greed, jealousy, anger, envy, ego, arrogance, you know them all only too well. It's the latter that sets our threshold on how we enjoy life and are able we are to laugh. It's not logic unfortunately that sets the terms even though it should be to a large extent, coupled with a sprinkling of sheer and outright positivity, it's those negative thoughts that wade in and pull us down. We know when we are with friends that we can laugh at almost anything and do, the silliest thing or personal comments about others or whatever it is bodes well for lots of laughter we feel comfortable, ourselves and for a few moments life's stresses and strains fade into insignificance, where they should be. However time goes by and we are soon back on our own pathway and the laughter seems an age away even if only a matter of hours in reality. We come across, financial stresses, work related problems or loss of work, we see outside events that encompass our lives by default, they are not invited but enter anyway, and we see parameters change before our eyes which destabilises us no end.

But over and above all of these things we can laugh, we can enjoy life, we can commune and we can go forward. We are still the masters of our own destiny and if we controlled our thoughts as opposed to letting them control us we would with immediate effect elevate ourselves to a level where life would take on a new meaning and we would see elements and routes and pathways that before eluded us. It's not that all our problems would suddenly vanish but we would be in pole position to life and not a default follower that looks forlorn and withdrawn seeking only highlights to make the bits in between worthwhile. Fun and joy exist every day no matter where you are but if one is to enjoy it all there has to be that conduit to enjoyment that's common to all parties. If someone is not going to laugh at something because they think that the situation that they are in doesn't warrant it then they are forcing unhappiness on themselves. Many people have this pathetic and misplaced thought and ideology that if something is wrong or not going well they can't laugh, or at a funeral they can't smile or indeed laugh even if it's sharing good moments of the past of the deceased, this is a stupid fallacy and self created situation that has neither merit nor logic. And as to the thought "what will others think" whose life are you living yours or theirs? Never bring yourself down or make yourself drab for the sake of others there's no respect or disrespect in that at all it's third world twaddle for low minded people and failures.

The lightness of life the bit that gives us meaning and purpose is akin to being able to see more than one side of anything and that includes any humorous elements or those element within those that work with us. People who can generally laugh are more honest and trustworthy than those that can't or don't, they are more creative and strangely enough more Godly too as they see compassion, love and understanding whereas the morbid zealots see evil and malice as the first point of call. Apart from the devised advertisements where people are made to laugh to try and give credibility, smiling and laughing does give one a better opportunity to connect and be open to connection via others especially strangers who know nothing of or about you. Our "shop window" speaks volumes about us if it's bright and warm then it's attractive to most if it's dull then it attracts the few who are predominantly dull too as the rest take one glance and move onwards. Enjoying the moment is the key to life, if we seek enjoyment via something materialistic which would give us fleeting joy or a situation or happening in the future then we 'postpone happiness' confining ourselves to what we are daily living through as just 'ordinary' and as humans we are anything but, or at least most aren't. Choices abound in life and happiness is a choice (yes it is no muttering here) as is to laugh and smile, it comes from within you and nowhere else, so decide where you want to go and and what you want to be and do it. The way you do it will define where you end up. Now make your choice.    

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

BEING IN THE LOOP

Everything in life is relative, and what one sees as something spectacular others see it as just what it is as it means little more than the entity of itself. If one travels frequently to all parts of the globe then travel is no big deal even if it stimulates degrees of excitement, to those that travel once or twice a year it's almost an event in itself. Those that have expensive cars see them for what they are and can afford, to others they are an entity in another dimension of driving. Those that frequent expensive restaurants on a regular basis enjoy a different experience from those that see going out to an expensive restaurant as a 'special occasion'  and so it goes on. And whilst there is no wrong nor right the emotional aspects of perception can either reduce or elevate one's thoughts on life and one's abilities to communicate effectively. Our friends and social strata and gathering account for our ability to be able to proficiently do what we do and be accepted for same with others regardless of whether they do more or less and regardless of their circumstances. Unfortunately emotions fall into the equation far too often and greed, jealousy, ego, etc, rear their ugly head and then everything goes belly up or sour.

We migrate to those who love us 'warts an all' and tend to take a wider berth with those that have opinions on what we do or have because it's dull, boring and none of their business anyway. At times because of business we have to get along with those who don't particularly like us for whatever reason but we do so because it's expedient and has a purpose and we know that showing negative feelings is a lack of self control, low life mentality and stunted thoughts so we move on. It takes all sorts to make a world, and there are those at the opposite end of the spectrum in the voluntary sector that are priceless human beings devoting their lives to what they believe for little reward in the material stakes. It's whatever floats your boat and we can't judge what is better for everyone has a place in life and a purpose even if some don't want to utilise it because of their own negative self thoughts.

Our views, creativity, direction, ideas if they are to be implemented and put to good use or at least given a hearing need to be either directed to appropriate sources that understand where we are coming from, even if they don't like what we have. Or we have to attract those around us that are 'likeminded' as that will help us in bouncing off thoughts and empathising with what we wish to put out. But it doesn't stop their because there are those who may share a commonality of thought in a certain direction and yet have a totally different perspective of life and that can not only be frustrating but hinder your own thoughts which have a higher calling than just an understanding and an interest. It's here that many areas of life fall down as personal thought over and above knowledge takes a tumble, what some see as a need others don't, what some see as potential or greatness others don't, what some see as the 'bigger picture' others don't see anything other than their own microcosm of space, and without due understanding rifts develop often beyond reproach or repair. It we are to venture into any type of thinking that frees us up from convention then we need to look at all that is around us and not just where we are at, for if we do that we will forever be hindering our own progress no matter far up the ladder we are already.

The greatness of what is available in life goes a long way to allowing our minds to expand and understand as opposed to storing potted versions of different people and different things and then using that limited knowledge as a base for further thought or decision making. Which by default eliminates much of the realness and facts that we don't have to hand. It's almost like the 'armchair expert' or TV commentary which is forever manufactured and manipulated to produce an entertaining result mixing fact and fiction. Those in "the loop" our loop of friends and acquaintances that resonate at different levels are essential to us even if there is a distance involved. Some we would talk to on a certain level others we wouldn't it varies so much but by and large it's needful for us so that we can feel more at ease with ourselves and move on and enjoy a degree of camaraderie for without that frustrations build up. Cultivate new friends who resonate with whom you are, it's not the easiest of things to do but it does pay off and potential is forever present, whereas being alone is a one way journey to nowhere.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

GRIEF

Grief can be so debilitating that it takes a hold of life and steers you into a corner and holds you there to the extent that at times one feels that nothing will ever be the same ever again, and the truth is it won't. It's not that life won't be fun and exciting anymore nor the will to proceed won't return and life will be as it is from there onwards worthy of living and worthy of participating and communing with those around you. It's ironic however that when grief strikes and it can and does happen to almost all of us at some time in our lives those that we feel can or could offer support like family and our religion offer nothing but coldness and a wall of stone, especially where bereavement is concerned. It can be like vampires coming out of the woodwork all seeing what they can get and finding every legal excuse to get more. Where at one stage of life "love" was a supposedly unspoken entity it's now a cold war and each to his own, where the smiles reveal the fangs and frosty sliver. And whilst to some this may seem gruesome it is unfortunately for many a very real reality. That at times many fear for their own sanity and purpose and most of all "love" for themselves, that someone "out there" knows and understands and will share their real tears and not some emotional outburst like that of little children "on and off" at the flick of a selfish thought. The relations that never liked you or you were the wrong religion, but now your partner has died it all comes to roost their evilness starts to ooze out.  

How we deal with real grief is down to us, and we are all different those that cry the most are often the insipid selfish ones that want everyone to join them in what they are going through whilst those that tend to stave off such are harbouring the love of the deceased that helps even through the trauma of the aftermath. Of course and "here we go again" religions mount on the grief trip after all it gives them something to do, wearing dull dark clothes, moping around with long faces, it's as if the deceased didn't actually love you after all and you've just found out. If whoever it is that has died loved you then THE LAST thing they would wish is that you be unhappy, otherwise what's the point of it all. And sympathy is the shallow side of offering real help to the extent many offer sympathy but no help and actually get a "high" of trying to buck the other person up whereas they are acting as vampires themselves draining their captive of energy for themselves. Sympathy has an effect of boosting others up, then when you leave them they have an almighty low afterwards. Not very nice.

Age has a related value on our perceptions in life, everything revolves around what we have done, are doing and will be doing, although the variances and boundaries can be very muted and glide into each other. What age doesn't have is a monopoly on pain, especially the mental type of pain, that is possibly the most debilitating as it literally messes up your whole control system. It's so easy to become introverted when grief strikes that it can form a situation where you rarely come out of it, this happens in the Middle East as they go to town on morbidity it's a way of life as is complaining and moaning yet doing nothing to rectify it, however they don't have any exclusivity or monopoly on it. One thing that grief often brings home is the reality of who you are in life and what others mean to you, your 'family' may be those you have chosen to be around you as opposed to the biological ones who are judgemental and shallow. It brings home too where you stand in life and what all around you means with regards happiness, freedom, duties, life itself and what and how you choose to think about things in general. Grief is but a stepping stone and depending upon your belief you either move on - not forgetting the past as you can't - or dwell forever where you are and carry it as a burden. Never forget if love is involved then there is a real freedom, but a genuine freedom not a selfish freedom that you keep to yourself as if it's something exclusive because it's not.  

In times of trouble don't scorn those that you think could offer some support as for them it could also be difficult to muster up the ability to offer it, and beware of those who seemingly offer everything because they can, it's at times those that do little that think deeply and the effusive ones that are shallow. One must always feel the depth of love and the need from others which is over and above sheer words and never allow the feeling of self sorrow to overtake who you are despite the pain that one may be reliving for a while. An understanding of those that now scorn, pour oil on troubled waters, who reject, who reprimand and turn face, who show their true colours be at one with yourself, because the love that YOU had with that significant other was priceless and above their deceitful facade. Life is for living, for loving and that is the only golden rule for grief, and the only golden rule for your own self is that of love at any cost, it's never left, and what was there is still there even if slightly but temporarily tarnished, it's still there in all its glory. Don't ever turn your back on it no matter what.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
  (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others

PURSUING HAPPINESS or CREATING HAPPINESS

Which category do you fall into - a pursuer or a creator of happiness, or haven't you thought about it. Or are you a dabbler in all of them, do you perceive you are happy then at the same time try to see if you could be happier or want to read the odd article on happiness just in case you think you've missed something? Many people fall into the latter situation in that they are relatively happy yet still are interested in what others have to say as if walking around them are experts on the subject. And in fact many writers on the subject of happiness are far from it themselves, they are so conversed with the theoretical technicalities that their heart is stone cold and they look at everything strategically as opposed to humanely and tabulate rules as if they have found a formula, whereas they haven't at all, it's all mumbo jumbo in their minds. If you pursue happiness then you have not only lost the plot already there is something wrong with how you think, feel and perceive life which will definitely have a bearing upon your life and your interaction with every area within it. Similarly is you see others as enjoying life or even worse the sadness that's around as opposed to the happiness around then you've got a real mind shift that's verging on the negativity of life and again that will affect your judgement and thoughts and perceptions in every thing you do and every area of life in fact you are probably as exciting as dish water in your outlook.

Society for many appears to have lost what is basically inherent within, and when something isn't quite what it should believe that there is somewhere a "Help Line" or a potion at the Pharmacy which will quickly and effectively like a laxative get you going once again, and when they find that there isn't such a thing an almost inner panic sets up as to "now what". Fortunately most people are happy all around the world, something I've seen and experienced first hand, and whilst some cultures are a bit dull and subservient the overall effects of happiness are to be seen. Many single people today predominantly women over 30 but not exclusively seem to find happiness hard, it's not that men of similar circumstances don't it's just that their minds are more logical and thus tend to accept it more and just do what they have to do to get the best out of life, even if it isn't much in reality. (set in your ways syndrome).

Happiness is a state of being, you create it no one can create it for you nor enjoy it for you, your mind is where you live nowhere else so it's your outlook, perception, mind thoughts that produce the outward signs of happiness regardless of circumstances and situations. Everything is you, so blaming everything and anything isn't an answer. You have to live with yourself 24/7 no one else, not even your partner, so if you can't do it for yourself or you allow negative emotions, greed, anger, jealousy, moodiness, selfishness, envy, pride, etc, to take over, then they will, no one can do anything about it but you. If you compare your life or aspects of it to others the you'll always feel down, if you have permanent grand ideas and want then you'll always fail, if you have aspects of jealousy or the "it's not fair" mentality then it won't be fair ever. If you treat life as 'you' and 'everyone else' then that's how it will be, if you make yourself moody and selfish then you will lose everything, if you can't make an effort no one else will help you why should they you are worthless by your own actions. If you can't find "real" friends then it's you not because they don't exist, no excuses as to location of lifestyle it's you firmly and squarely. You are the interface with life no one else, you have happiness built in, like a new car with all the gadgets, if you don't use them so be it, but don't complain they don't work when you can't be bothered to click the buttons.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

TRYING TO MAKE LIFE WORK

More than ever people are trying to carve a life out for themselves based upon what isn't going as well as they perceive. Better house / flat, clothes, car, spending money, entertainment, gadgets, tv-phone-Wii-Xbox, the list is endless. And of course that base thought about the 'self 'and their relationship or getting one, and not everyone is set out to be a couple despite that they think that would make life complete for them, no it wouldn't. Stick to a "best friend" that way you won't be able to fall out because of not getting your own way or reluctantly having to frequently compromise - which you wouldn't like. It is difficult for many people to gain a better access to a life standard which they deem that they are worthy of than they have at this present moment, but often the change is an internal adjustment rather than an external acquisition, even though that would prove a nice thing. There's absolutely nothing wrong with trying to get a better stance on life after all it's there awaiting so it's not always pie in the sky, it can be real. But often the striving negates the present and if that happens to be the case then real instability of personal understanding starts to take over and what could have been good in the present is reduced to mediocre. Our mental attitude also plays a vital part in life and as to our enjoyment of it every day and not just certain aspects of it with somewhat bland times in between.

Depression, anxiety, boredom, lack of fun, lack of real camaraderie, lack of heartfelt warmth from a significant other / friends. Lack of silliness, lack of personal conversations at all levels with those you can 'talk to' and empathise with, being told off by your best friend - because you really haven't got one, sharing, etc. All these things make a significant difference to the quality of life for the individual. No matter who we are and whether we have 100's of 'so called' friends all over the globe there are those few or one that makes life just so much more enjoyable because you love them. We are all different but our basic needs are very similar, and whether we are globetrotters or sedentary that 'anchor' makes a difference. Our perspective on life and our attitude defines who we are, and those struggling already find that the going can get to an intolerable level because their base understanding in life isn't there. If focus is predominantly on 'hardship' it's difficult to opt out of that mode when faced with it, but if the subtleties of humanity are not there then real desperation and irascibility of the mind becomes more than real and develops into a place where life becomes cruel and the 'way out' seems none existent.

Despite the physicality's of what each person may or may not have life is relative and happiness isn't subject to comparisons nor is it a product of what is to come or may come along. Families can find life at times a struggle if not financially more mentally seeing their young grow into young adults and all the aggressive social problems that they face at increasingly younger ages than they did years ago. Manufacturers and advertising agencies are merciless at recruiting new recruits hoping to wean the impressionable and immature on to their products. They deny this but they are liers. Your children are to an extent a product of your parentage as indeed you are, failure often starts at home in a whole manner of areas, selfishness is almost borne in the home and is not a redeemable asset to have as it stultifies goodness and communicational skills. Whether we are going through a recession or good times it makes no difference to the happiness factor if it does it shows what a chameleon you are and your own susceptibilities to life. There are more "millionaires" made in times of recession than actually in the 'good times', and more creativity is in evidence too. If we need better there has to be a reason other than "just wanting it", if better is an accessory or an adjunct to life it will lose its ability to support our emotional needs, if it's deemed as an essential then we have to enjoy what we have now otherwise our emotional contact with it will forever thwart where we are currently living.

We create our own reality, thus we can either live and like life, even if not perfect or we can forever create an ambient struggle that we have devised and rarely try to accomplish as it's on a wish list more than a physical desire. Sadly today few people actually live their own lives according to what they want to do, it tends to be a homogeneous structure of bits from everywhere else which doesn't totally rest well within and causes an on-going instability and a feeling or unrest without cause.Trying to make like work doesn't work, you literally have to make it work then it works, trying is the journey which for most is a smart theory, making it work is a deed of sheer progress and determination, winners and losers.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012