STEERING YOUR OWN COURSE

It's amazing when you ask people whose life they are living, their retort is 'mine' and it's said with a degree of aplomb. Yes talk to them a little more and the conversation, regardless of it's content, starts to include others that by default play a role either by design or default that influence what they do and say. Of course we don't live in isolation and yes we do have significant others that we gladly take on board and meld our ways with to incorporate them as they do with us, it's called 'getting on with others''. Our focus on life at times goes astray in that we feel the need to both steer our own course and at the same time please others as that can give us a sense of achievement and acknowledgement, part of the 'feel good factor'. But the reality of all this is false because others then take you for what you give out whether it's done consciously or not, and if not careful it can get out of hand very quickly. It is at moments like this that when it gets out of hand we feel that we are taken advantage of or it all doesn't feel right or others get a wrong impression of how we are and we don't like that, even though it is us that has instigated it all ourselves.

Sometimes it is the little things in life that get to us, rather than the larger things that we tend to cope with and get to the bottom of without too much trouble. A self conscious attitude usually stops us making an issue out of the small things in life. If others do make an issue we even feel they are being picky or small minded and judge them differently. At times life is what it is, we have to make a compromise and do what we have to do even if it's not basically ideal, even within what we would like. Needs must and doing something is always better than doing nothing.  Life is full of conduits so we can make a leap forward to an amazing array of places just by meeting people in certain areas and be receptive to whatever it is they have to offer. We should be open to possibilities from the most unlikely sources and never pre-judge based upon outward views.

There are in life plenty of people who on the side lines will give you advice as to what to do and where to go. Whether it' is well meant or not it all comes from their perspective which is not yours.  One thing you must never do is ask or take advice from anyone who has aspirations less than your own, as it will always be below par and full of their own insecurities and fears. By all means listen, but if it doesn't resonate with you, move on. Unfortunately there are even those who may not even wish you to succeed as it would to their mind put themselves in a bad light. Even professional advisers can get it wrong, again everything comes from their perspective and that could ultimately produce something that one dreads doing and provides no upliftment and ultimately disappointment. There are no magic wands in life even though at times some have those proverbial 'lucky breaks. Either way you have to walk the walk and talk the talk.
  
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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012



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FINDING THE SIGNAL IN THE NOISE

All around us is noise of some sort, whether it's the neighbours children, traffic, aircraft flying over, loud music, etc, whatever it is there whether we hear it or not. On the other side of the audible spectrum there resides another dimension in sound one that has defined purpose as well as other random sounds too, but for ourselves this organised noise is what makes life for us what it is today. It's the invisible signal noise of radio, television, internet, our mobile phones, our remote control units, sat nav, and the rest it's all there on designated frequencies doing what its supposed to do. In between that the ambient noise or white noise exists, it's the stuff that we can hear and something we either love or not, country dwellers experience different ambient noises from those living in the cities and by further definition those living near railways and airports experience variants within all of that, etc. The world in which we live we is bombarded by advertising all promising the thought of something better, success, keys to this n' that, instant point scoring, increase your rating, get your business more aware, nay for a small fee the secrets of the universe will uncovered by - whoever, it's all there if we choose to look, and if we don't choose to look they are there to tell us anyway. We are a brilliant and boastful and deceitful society mixing a little of this, a little of that and with a bit of strategic marketing until it all comes together as "today's flavour" an elixir that everyone just 'has' to buy, all very California. Which is not to say it doesn't work, but what it doesn't bring into its algorithms are the times lines and numerous coefficients that actually stop it being a run away success, as most products" have like pre-packed food a shelf life after which it doesn't go off as such but becomes superseded by an updated model, by another creator, definitely very California.

There is a purpose and a success trail for all of us, and whilst latching on to others formulas and strategies which may coincide or assist us with what we are doing we can if not careful get bogged down in areas which are not conducive nor creative to what we are doing, even if in themselves they are fabulous. There is a degree of uniqueness about each and every one of us whether we allow this to shine or keep it behind locked doors is down to us. Our uniqueness is very real, we can hear the voice of our partner or friend over and above all others if close by, and if we really try we can hear other information too that many just allow to pass by. Similarly if we seek a trajectory in life or a way forward it must be something that resonates well even if initially we are the only ones to see it, which is often the case. Within the "white noise" there is "our pathway" our own unique signal that no amount of promotion or advertising will help secure or bring around success, if what we are aiming for doesn't have that resounding feeling and resonance then it will just be something that's smart or good but goes no further, and how many times have we all seen that, and indeed perhaps with our own projects not proceeding as wished.

In the space arena stations are all over the world listening for those feint sounds that will indicate a potential, we can hear noises in our car when it goes wrong, and indeed surveillance systems listen for those extraordinary sounds over and above the backdrop of commonplace to decipher and deceminate tell tale areas that give knowledge and advantage. Out there waiting to help us all become rich and famous are those who for a fee will 'tell all' their systems, (or rather unlock a bit at a time costing each step of the way) unleashing designer understanding, knowledge, methodology, schemes, etc, which will enable us to reach  where we think we need to be or if greedy desire. For many their desire is possibly a step too far even if what they do is commendable, it's a bit like driving a normal car 'off road' whereas a 4x4 would have been the best option. It's these nuances and differences that sometimes just can't take in or accommodate differences that even experts don't see or want to see for fear themselves of losing a sale. If what we do is inherent then we would 'see' the little things that are likely to accelerate where we need to go, or have some catalytic action and within that 'white noise' we would both see and feel that pathway which others would completely miss out or be oblivious of.  

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

YOU AREN'T ALONE

There's a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely, the former is just that - you are alone, with few or no one around you, the latter is a feeling of isolation even in the midst of friends and loved ones where your inner thoughts are cocooned in a dialogue of their own usually linked to a mind condition or a feeling that things aren't going so well. It could however be that you have "moved on" in life and those around you whilst good people don't offer anymore the support you need and the type of camaraderie you require to enjoy life. It's very easy to be judgmental here but "Feeling Alone" is a very personal thing and it's purely down to the individual as to how they perceive life. Sometimes it's the little things in life that can trip us up the most, like the little stones in our shoes, as small as they are they produce great discomfort and we have to literally stop to remove same. Even when everything appears to be going well, we can feel totally "out of it" to the extent that we go through the motions of life and robotically laugh, join in make arrangements etc, whilst at the same time our minds are literally elsewhere, and our thoughts are churning around discussing life and how we best fit in with it all and that 'elusive' goal of satisfaction and completeness or lack of it.

How we perceive life is down to us, this stays with us throughout the whole of our lives so it's vitally important that we get some semblance of understanding as to who we are, where we are and all that surrounds us. If we have a belief then we already know that God is at hand, for those that don't believe or believe in some weird evil religion then you just winge and moan and still nothing happens. The fact that when we go through an ordeal we do feel alone even if at times we come across others who have or are going through the same thing, there's always a 'let out' clause for them but never yourself, it's this 'self' that holds us back. Very few if any at all are experiencing something unique, even if it's unique to ourselves, it's our 'mind-set' and that mind set can be pivotal as to how we pull through, come through or deal with life and enjoy it all at the other end. Nothing lasts for ever be it good or bad, having said that the median in between can give a rewarding life that's fun and productive and sharing amongst fellow man. Even if we go to the doctors and receive some tablets etc, we receive tablets because somewhere there are 1000's of others needing the same remedial drug for the same problem.

There are various "chat lines" and "blogs" and suchlike that are user friendly and directed towards specific topics where people can openly under a pseudonym pour out their problems to like minded souls and receive correspondence of encouragement and help and advice, and at times this can be the best help around. Often knowing that you are not alone can be so elevating that the severity of the problem can be almost halved in a split second. Whether we have a secret fetish, secret desires or feelings which to us are "all out of the ordinary" finding that "other" person or persons can make a world of difference and if we seek we will find, although those others we seek will be hiding in the background so diligence is par for the course. We can be our biggest problem, and we are experts at making up excuses for ourselves and why it's always easier for someone else but in "my" case, it's just not possible or too difficult, and so the pathetic trail of excuses goes on and on and on, and nothing gets resolved. One main element of freeing up the self is to detach oneself literally from the public gaze in as much as you neither want nor need comments or opinions of others who know nothing of your plight even if they know you personally, there's always that little something they don't know and everyone should understand that about everyone else.  

Liberating the self is essential, it doesn't mean making public your feelings nor anything else it just means taking charge of whom you are and walking with it, without explanation to others, which at times others who can actually semi-demand to know what you have been up to and if you don't let on they get upset, so let them, boundaries always need to be respected and if their assessment of you changes then so be it, for at times if you acquiesce to their demand you not only lower your own self esteem they may just not understand and walk away anyway, you have to judge this yourself. On the other side of the fence you may be in a precarious position whereby you need friends just for emotional support but it's essential that you have the right friends and the right quantity and quality of support for if it's too much either way it can become burdensome and topple all you seek as support. Even in times of dire need when the world looms large and you feel so inconsequential you are not by yourself, there are solutions, ways out and as difficult as it is in such a state making a move is a 100% better than doing nothing. The journey of a hundred miles takes one first step, take that step for yourself in nothing else.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

CHERRY PICKING LIFE

We all like to have the best in life it's almost a natural instinct we are selective when we shop and selective about the people we have in our lives too. Within all of that most people have a degree of compassion, love and understanding which allows us to share with others aspects of themselves, the opposite of which is called "selfishness". Similarly in other aspects of our lives we almost veer on the side of "cherry picking" and his includes quite a number of areas within our lives that we take ownership of. One of those areas is religion, if one believes in God then the chances are you are a member of some religious belief as opposed to believing in God directly as all religions are man made and therefore have faults and added bits and pieces. Many like to cherry pick the nice and easy bits to fit in with their lifestyle and understanding and the rest well, tend to allow it to reside at the back of the mind. This tends to actually be the rule of thumb for many in their lives as they tailor aspects of themselves and thus hone more specifically to aspects that concern them or make life easier. 

The problem at times with "cherry picking" life is that it can be habitual and thus we can both live and work in an abridged version of it missing out on various aspects and not acknowledging much of what is needed to give life substance. We can also ride roughshod over others and gradually this will make us appear both aloof and not fully engaged, which will after a time be the case and life will end up as short bursts of 'what I want" at he expense of others values. Whilst here is nothing wrong with looking after No.1 in life (yourself) it can render  the self somewhat incomplete and not having the assistance nor help of others when needed, which at times is essential. No man is an island. Furthermore if "cherry picking" becomes almost second nature then it will have very adverse effects upon any type of relationship whether with a significant other or just friends and associates and possibly communicational skills in general. Like everything in life balance is the key point, we should always be wary of people who constantly "cherry pick" who are around us as you will be always way down the list on their priorities if at all at times and there's no reason that by default knowing this you should allow yourself to be put into such a position.

The opportunities that abound around us are infinitesimal so we rightly need to pick upon both those which suite our purpose and our character too, it's this fine honing that makes life what it is. At the same time we really do need others for if we don't have any significant people in our lives loneliness starts to creep in and that really can be a major problem, and indeed is for many. Psychologically we need to feel needed, loved, wanted and need to feel that we want others even if it's just a "best friend" if we negate all of this then we start to develop psychosomatic feelings which can be very varied and be our downfall with regards mental health  and stability. Having said all of that we can "cherry pick" on behalf of those we like or care for in that we wish them to have the best of what is on offer or available so our deeds of compassion and understanding not only come through but are rewarded by a heightened camaraderie rather than isolation. Everyone makes their own way in life regardless of others, we have to be the masters of our own course and manoeuvre our around whatever is head of us, make sure the journey is wholesome and then enjoy the ride.        

 For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

OUT OF SORTS WITH LIFE

How we feel about life varies from moment to moment, sometimes we just feel "out of it" for no apparent reason, other times there are a number of issues going through our minds and at other moments we just lose focus on whom we are where we are going and that possibly life isn't offering much in the area of stimulus or excitement. Our reality is what we live in, whatever life is or isn't it's our take on it that makes us think and feel the way we do. Our reality can make our lives or lead us down a road of hard work and toil, it can cloud our judgement, our thoughts, our feelings, our clarity and our overall happiness factor. Whatever we experience we process it via our minds and take whatever course of action we deem appropriate including becoming remorse, miserable and sullen, it's self pity taking over but the bottom line is it's you who has instigated it, no one else. There is no such thing as "well you'd be like this if you had ..... " or "life has made me this way" life has done no such thing, if you want to be selfish and small minded that's a choice you have made, it's not like a virus that you can pick up. Of course mild forms of depression are a different matter, often circumstances and solutions weight heavily and we can't process it all proficiently enough so we go into a dull state of regressive thought, yet here again many induce such a state on to themselves as they actually feel it's a worthy and plausible thing to do which gains a degree of respect, where did that notion ever come from?  Some even think it's smart to say "I'm depressed", "I'm stressed" and throw in the Hollywood drama of responses and toned voice as if it heightens their credibility factor.

There is only one way to deal with life being out of sorts and that is to literally deal with it yourself by not giving in and making yourself feel bad. Everything has a lifespan, both good and bad things come to an end and circumstances change but facing up to adversity is by far the best way to keep your mind, body and soul in pristine condition and enjoy the life ride as opposed to enduring it then harbouring the memories. For those who were seeking an easy option or an answer that's far easier and there are many who perpetually seek the easy way if foolishly, you reap what you sow. For those that "get on" in life and just "do it" the rewards are great as is self confidence, understanding, compassion, drive, happiness and fortitude. If we can't keep a good council then no one else can do it for us no matter how much they want to. What goes on in our heads is ours and only ours and no manner of help, advice or strategies given by others will change how you think unless you want that to happen.

Life is what it is, it doesn't have the ability to make a choice for you or want to make it extra nice because it likes you or wants to "get back" at you because it doesn't, it's not that fragile nor thoughtful. Life is exactly what it is and that's a culmination of endless options and permutations coming together all at once all the time, hence change happens sometimes suddenly other times gradually, but change never the less happens. Life can throw into our pathway a demagogue of  choices all of which are not so savoury, similarly even the good choices have repercussions and strings to them. Our own verve and tenacity pulls us through, bestows a degree of authority, success and knowledge and it goes officially under the banner of experience. Whether we take heed of that experience and decide regardless to enjoy life is down to us, it's not a point of discussion for friends nor anyone else. The more we decide to enjoy and not be a sponge to what's around us the better life will not only become but our whole attitude and the attitude of others around us will improve and before we know it there will be an uplift from where we were to a more positive and refreshing stance in life. If we challenge the good to find credibility with the option of reverting back to bad if it doesn't pan out then you are really pathetic and need to alter your complete ideology about yourself and life. Like attracts like and negativity attracts negativity, positivity attracts positivity, your option, your choice.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SHOWING YOUR EMOTIONS

We are by default sentient human beings although I think some will throw that in question, never the less it's a mark of a superior being. As a race we are marvellous people, it's only the trappings and conditions that tend to thwart our real ability to grow such as those in the third world and the dearth of religions that restrict life and cause repression as opposed to praising their God and allowing growth. They all suffer who believe in fear and restriction as can be seen by their backwardness in life and the way they have to rely on others to develop what they find incapable of doing themselves. Our emotions are one of the prominent aspects of our lives, we move throughout the whole of our life via an emotional wave, some days it's relatively calm others it's vibrant in every way. It's these which give us our feelings and in turn we feed off of these feelings and react according to how we deem it is expedient. We have within us free will and therefore we have negative emotions too such as envy, greed, jealousy, selfishness, anger, arrogance, etc, and these in turn are linked to how we feel as a person. If we are relatively secure in life then we get on quite well and cope where we have to. If we are not so secure then we readily pick up the negative emotions and feel moody, angry, jealous, etc, and start to use these emotions to our benefit - or so called benefit - to try and get our own way. It's called emotional blackmail and it's the lowest of levels one can almost stoop to. Where people feign tears in order to gain sympathy, be moody in order to try and get their own way and so on. Keep well away from such people and don't ever pamper to their debased thoughts

Many a young "thug" type of person has difficulty in showing emotion, it's almost a "sissy" thing to feel upset, angry yes, but upset or loving - forget it. This misplaced understanding results in a life of trials and tribulations and dares and a whole host of random stupidity, when deep down the onset of real love from anyone that cares is what is most needed. After all with real love - unconditional love - hurt and upset and anger don't come into the equations (back to why some religions are always killing and getting upset - evil doctrines). Governments are useless at such things as their agendas are power based and so when it comes down to emotional remedies they are also thuggish and impotent even if they pretend to understand. Of course societies and cultures play a big part in how we grow up and deal with life, some cultures are fiery and emotionally volatile whilst others are more controlled and think before they act. Some of the Eastern cultures are the worst in that they make a Hollywood drama out of anything as a means for others to help them, women there do this exceptionally well, it's all conditioning and religion and is a real far cry from living and life as it should be as it's always an Achilles heal for them. Then we get to the other extremes where manufactured effect is almost de regeur such as the real Hollywood awards where speeches almost turn your stomach over with the whet diatribe they come out with.  

People react to others emotions, we are judged by them, but it doesn't mean that someone who goes ape like has more feeling than someone who remains calm and stands their ground, it's often the latter that has more compassion and less theatrical selfishness. There is a time and a place and what the outward signs are don't always reflect the inner state. We tend to veer towards those that share our emotional position in life, it makes us feel more secure and in control and enables a more stable stance in life regardless of whatever happens. We can all cry with tears of joy or sadness a development of extreme emotion in both cases, some are more susceptible than others, and there's no detriment to ANYONE who sheds a tear, it's a natural part of yourself and something that one should never be ashamed of. However back to the "thug" scenario, the personal shame of being emotional or selectively emotional, whereas if they were real stable solid humans they would just be themselves and not live behind a facade that's unreal and designed to repress, a state of human failure. We can more often than not even with someone we don't know see through feigned emotions or those who enhance their joy or grief to effect self notice, selfishness has no limits and we can feel within those who are genuine and those who 'put it on', the emotional vampires always seeking others energy. It's good to show emotions as it's good to look good, it reflects who you are and the sincerity of who you are too. Never emulate others, don't cry at a funeral if you can't, don't laugh if you don't think it's funny, but do either if appropriate as and when it affects you, you're not on trial nor do you need approval or acceptance from anyone. Be yourself and allow the inner you to blossom.  

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

LIFE IN A DIFFERENT SHADE

Life is a variable commodity one moment it's fabulous another we are faced with anxiety, stress, upheavals and an unknown future, where once we had an idea as to where we were going or aiming for then next minute we are really not quite sure as to the feasibility of it or indeed anything else. Within the happy moments and the mayhem which live close by to each other we have a style and a standard of living that we enjoy relatively well even if it's not ideal. We have our favourites and our likes and then we have a routine and all of that produces a degree of stability and indeed harmony too. But overall taking into account the rough with the smooth is there something that would enhance our lives appreciably without stepping into realms of fantasy or drawing up a wish list which then produces a stress factor because they are desires which we rarely fulfil yet never the less exist once we mentally commit them. An example of such is a chap came into some money and bought a Ferrari which he loved, yet he constantly got speeding tickets so the element of his desire became a burden rather than a blessing as he just couldn't keep to speed limits and in a high performance car it's just so easy to speed up without realising it. What we sometimes desire can in effect unleash elements within us that changes our concept and exposes our weaknesses that we didn't before realise were there or had never had put to the test before. It's a case of "all things being equal" and of course that doesn't exist, which is not to say that certain things can definitely enhance or increase our pleasures in life over and above what we originally thought of.

Sometimes we just go on in life and as long as it doesn't jar on us we accept where we are and allow it to continue, a bit like the "if it's not broken don't fix it" adage. Yet life isn't that constant and it doesn't have to be broken to want to make it better from where we are and in reality do just little bits to enhance our state of play, which has the effect of literally elevating how we think and feel. We are products of our environment so it's only natural that we should keep it well honed and in pristine condition for it to allow us to respond to our own values in life and enjoy what's best within our abilities. We all reside at different levels some quite basic some palatial it matters not, enhancement or change at any level does the same trick, it raises our inner self and that is always a positive step. Whether we are single or have a house full of pattering tiny feet that's not of any significance or consequence it again is making small changes whether colourful or subdude or changing this n' that and deliberately doing so as opposed to waiting for something to break or become shabby then having to replace it. Our physical deed of being pro-active is what propels us forward and stops the rot or decay of time overtaking us and then feeling that there is always something to be done because life is dragging you forward as opposed to you steering your ship. This has a very big psychological effect on us, which route or stance we take.

Most people expect life to get better, they have hopes for a better future and happiness, and rightly so, our hearts are in the right place and our intentions are linked similarly to that forward point where we can enjoy life whatever it is for us at that future time. However if we don't do something now, or don't affect some degree of ongoing change what we end up with is our mind going one way full of hope and ideas and a life going another with little or nothing happening, a real dichotomy of thought and deed. Keeping on top and keeping pace is essential even in frugal times where we tend to procrastinate more about investing in our lives. What we don't want to do is end up at that future date just "having put up" with aspects of life all along  that we could have changed and enjoyed just from being ultra cautious or waiting until a default situation arises then the creativity of life is greatly reduced. Our lives vary enormously and what some accept as good others see otherwise, there's no race nor competition what there is however is "us" and are we worth it, and that demands a degree of respect and not personal complacency for it that starts to leach into your life it will manifest itself subliminally in your outward character, which is an obvious retrograde step. Life is not an endurance as to how long can we make things last, or put up with conditions until we are forced to change, enjoyment is at the top of our list whatever that is to us, make sure you are pro-active in the enjoyment stakes, even little changes can reap enormous rewards.
 
For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

AWAKEN YOUR SPIRIT WITHIN

Whatever your beliefs, your thoughts, etc, it changes nothing to the physical fact that you have within you a spirit that lives concurrently with every breath you take. The complexity of the human being is astounding, a bio-chemical mass that is intricately put together, or rather grown together to form whom we are. It's not only a miracle in itself even if blase scientific explanations make it sound simple, we are here a complexity of science living in a complexity of science, our world, both the greater physical world and our inner world, the one which is forever private, personal and unique to ourselves. That spark of life that makes us do what we do and fosters a drive to commune with other humans and bring about development, understanding and to a degree in civilised worlds harmony. The human being is by and large a "herding creature" despite the fact that it's vogue for everyone to "want their space" the biggest problem facing many is in fact loneliness and frustration. We need to feel that there is a value to life, a purpose and that there is something ahead of us or that "what's it all about" feeling starts to emerge which quickly destabilises us and that in turn causes endless mental and physical problems. Nothing in life no matter what it is exists in isolation, there are always causes and repercussions.

Our state of mind is everything, forget intelligence, knowledge, as neither automatically mean one has common sense, many an expert or professional in one or more subjects is screwed up personally and that brings life is to a low ebb and renders itself almost worthless. We are all different as people and have different trajectories in the way we want to go forward, some are almost self sufficient within to move on their own accord, some need every bit of help and push and incentive they can get, and the variance in-between runs wide. However what we do have within is both 'happiness' and that 'feel good' factor ability, it's with us whether we use it or not, and it's linked to the brain, so we can decide whether to turn it on or off. Granted bad news makes us feel initially not so excited and good news raises our spirits, but we still have the ability to make decisions based purely on being happy or acceding to circumstances and reacting accordingly and deciding to be sad or unhappy.

We see in advertising the word "spirit" it is commonly used as to denote a heightened experience or feeling, we even say 'low in spirits' or 'they are very spirited people', etc. The dictionary definition of "Spirit" is thus :- "the principle of conscious life; the vital principle in humans, animating  the body or meditating between body and soul" and "the incorporeal part of humans; present in spirit though absent in body". That vital element in our higher life form, the ability we have that can elevate our whole being subject to us allowing it to happen and living with a degree of lightness within. If we at all start to think negatively then our elevated processes are subject to a down grading, if we try our best despite what may beset and befall us to see the good in life then we will succeed, we will overcome. Of course there are those who go on courses and buy DVD's and downloads or read books on our "spirit" hoping that saged words of wisdom by someone else will suddenly propel them forward and all will be well, and of course that won't happen. There's no free lunch and admonishing yourself of doing anything for yourself by yourself it tantamount to sheer stupidity. If you can't think better thoughts then no one can do it for you, it's that simple. The beauty about human life is it has "free thought" (forget religious repression - not God, religion)) what we think is powerful stuff in that we can decide how we live, if we put our thoughts into a negative mode then we will reap a negative harvest if it's in positive mode then the sky is the limit. If you don't believe that then the chances of life becoming better may have already passed you by.
   
For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SEARCHING FOR THE ELUSIVE

Most people have some sort of ideal that they would like to happen or stive for or place to visit or thing to do, even if it's just a whim, it's real in that we register it as something more significant than a passing thought, it resides within our minds and we can draw upon it anytime. Time plays a big part in our wants, when young we are full of them as time marches by we actually accomplish some or what was once prominent is no longer of interest as we've moved on and eventually what we would have wanted fades away into a past thought and more pressing and immediate thoughts overtake us that have more defined residing implications. One thing we don't  want to do is end up being in the "carrot and donkey" situation whereby everything is permanetly ahead of us and we never get to enjoy any of it, ever, in fact we never even get close to it as there is an almost permanent space between what we want and acheiving it. Of course there are reasons why this happens, sometimes our perceptions are out of kilter, sometimes our reality is not properly aligned, sometimes we delude ourselves and sometimes we just don't put enough into getting what we want as it's  etched onto our 'wish list' and never goes any further.

Where we live is the here and now, yesterday no matter what happened is history and whether it was the best day or our lives or we've just dicovered something terrible it was all still yesterday and tomorrow is where we are going to end up. The "now" in our lives is the present, now is very real because it's active and we can move and shake and do things that can alter our whole life ahead of us. We can also sit and so nothing and allow life to take over and drag us along to where it is that we end up, usually somewhere not so savoury. It's imperative that we enjoy life where we are no matter how small that enjoyment may be, for if we judge events in our lives and give them marks out of 10 as to whether they were good or not so good then we will lose the plot and suffer the consequencies. If we decide that life is going to be good to us, i.e. we don't become victims of circumstances we take control of life, then happiness is forever within our grasp even in moments of dire circumstances we will be able to see opportunity, lightness and ways out even if we can't fully engage or commune with that at that single moment in time. Others who just stagnate and dwell in negativity find life predominantly difficult and see few options to exit bad situations and when they do it's full of trepidation.

If we can enjoy the "now" then everything has a place ahead of us, if we can't enjoy the "now" then there isn't much left for us as we will see nothingness in abundance then the "poor old me" attitude will prevale at which point everyone else will leave you well alone. Life is what we make it, no one else can live our lives, they can't think, eat, walk, talk, do for us not matter how much help we get, we still have act it all out. If we outsource our lives to others to take control we are still responsible for all that goes wrong, we can't blame others as we have if effect said "I go with them" so you have agreed to whatever happens good, bad or indifferent, there's just no getting away from the self. However, small moves here and there and an attitude of "I take control of how I feel" works wonders and elevates the self to levels that perhaps many have not enjoyed before or at least a long time. Stop searching, it does mean you can't be inquistitive, but don't negate the present for what may happen tomorrow because by doing that one will be in a constant situation of lowness and then life will literally drag. You have everything within you to be happy, no excuses or muttering that's talk of failure, it's talk of no self respect and if you can't respect yourself no one else will as there aren't any positive parameters for them to go on. Decide on enjoying the "now" it doesn't have to be champagne and flowers and chocolates, but just enjoy what there is or that will be another wasted day in your life, and that wil be the foundation of things to come. 

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

WHAT IS YOUR REALITY?

Everyone has a view on life, how we view life depends upon a number of things and a number of internal parameters, some seemingly have already been pre-set whilst others we have acquired or foster acordingly as they resonate with our overall thought mode. Even asking the same question to a number of people on the same topic can produced a myriad of differing responses such is the variety of options that are available to us and thus it's this difference that produces our own reality. The horizon for instance for some is engaging, fascinatingly haunting and produces an inner excitement for further possibilities and potential, whereas for others it's a distance too far, frightening, fearful, unknown, yet these two views can sit side by side and view the same horizon and come up with two totally different perspectives. It's this dichotomy of perspectives that produces all what we think and how we react to life and why some generate their happiness within, for that's where it resides for everyone, and those that perpetually seek happiness because they are negatively dispositioned. However it's our emotions that display how we take life on board such as ego, arrogance, jealousy, greed, envy, it's always the negative emotions for the positive emotions spring from love where nothing can go wrong, negative emotions suspend reason hence there is so much upset and anger between what we think and others possibly think. Politically correct people are also negatively charged via their own make of selfishness hiding under the auspices of 'doing good' for others or society, but in reality they have appointed themselves into a position where they are not wanted and become gatekeepers holding back truth and hiding their own failings and pathetic inabilities.

We subliminally have an idea of what we would like in life or like life to be like, but that is just that an idea, we live solely in the present and that is where we must enjoy life because if we don't we then end up with historical gaps of the past of not being happy and having wasted our time seeking a future that has come and gone and not materialised into anything we have wanted. Even if our ideals come to pass in a respectable time frame they are never the same as we would have envisaged even if they happen to be better. Of course paving the way for a better tomorrow is good and expedient for most people so the journey should be enjoyed not endured for if it isn't resentment starts to creep in and that then clouds our whole thought process which ultimately leads to a negative perspective of life. The media and following rubbish on the TV and in the press have a lot to do with many subliminally absorbing it like a sponge and not processing it accordingly (squeezing it out) but that's more to do with intelligence and personal thought than the media itself who will stop at nothing to peddle their wares, we do have an option however to discern an option that for many is sadly impotent.

No one knows what lies in store for our future but being positive in mind always lightens the load with regards upsets and attracts positive solutions as to getting the best out of what there is and the vast array of options that are 'out there'. We think we have a 'good idea' but in reality that's only what we know of or more accurately 'think of' and not what is out there as we haven't a clue what really exists. This is where narrow mindedness and arrogance and stupidity take a part in our own created downfall, pretending that we know whereas if we had an open mind a whole manner of opportunities would avail themselves to us. One reason why entrepreneurs do well and the so called "open minded" who are anything but fall by the wayside and then wonder why and feel disgruntled in the process too. Our real reality is what it is, who we are where we are and what we have, it doesn't matter what that consists of as there are no rules levels or parameters, they differ enormously from every person on the planet even if some are almost parallel. But perception is something to be understood by everyone and allowing others to have their perceived ideas and allowing our own to change as we become enlightened is a way forward that can enhance our whole being and give us a peace, understanding, love walk, happiness, stability, improved mental health and physical health that we might otherwise have jeopardised because of stilted thoughts.

There isn't an equation in life as to what you need or see as compared to anything else that means it's all OK. Nor are perceptions of what some have or others don't have mean anything except via  materialistic thoughts and self concocted or conjured up ideals which have no bearing upon the life you are living at the moment, even if you are sadly lacking in resources this makes no difference at all. The moment you place ethereal aspects of life upon material aspects of life you have lost the plot, and yes it's nice to have nice things but that's it nothing more. Perceptions are often based upon security and when one becomes more secure attitudes change whatever is security for yourself, financial, job, health, relationship, etc. However once we attain a modicum of what we think is essential to our life we then seek something else, it's bit like the carrot and the donkey scenario, it's always one step ahead of us. But reality is exactly what it is, the comments about "the real world" are rubbish, if you are living and breathing then you are in the real world, regardless of your standing. It's up to you to make the best of it and not place idealistic thoughts and negativities ahead of you or you will never ever be happy or fulfilled or stable.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

GRIEF

Grief can be so debilitating that it takes a hold of life and steers you into a corner and holds you there to the extent that at times one feels that nothing will ever be the same ever again, and the truth is it won't. It's not that life won't be fun and exciting anymore nor the will to proceed won't return and life will be as it is from there onwards worthy of living and worthy of participating and communing with those around you. It's ironic however that when grief strikes and it can and does happen to almost all of us at some time in our lives those that we feel can or could offer support like family and our religion offer nothing but coldness and a wall of stone, especially where bereavement is concerned. It can be like vampires coming out of the woodwork all seeing what they can get and finding every legal excuse to get more. Where at one stage of life "love" was a supposedly unspoken entity it's now a cold war and each to his own, where the smiles reveal the fangs and frosty sliver. And whilst to some this may seem gruesome it is unfortunately for many a very real reality. That at times many fear for their own sanity and purpose and most of all "love" for themselves, that someone "out there" knows and understands and will share their real tears and not some emotional outburst like that of little children "on and off" at the flick of a selfish thought. The relations that never liked you or you were the wrong religion, but now your partner has died it all comes to roost their evilness starts to ooze out.  

How we deal with real grief is down to us, and we are all different those that cry the most are often the insipid selfish ones that want everyone to join them in what they are going through whilst those that tend to stave off such are harbouring the love of the deceased that helps even through the trauma of the aftermath. Of course and "here we go again" religions mount on the grief trip after all it gives them something to do, wearing dull dark clothes, moping around with long faces, it's as if the deceased didn't actually love you after all and you've just found out. If whoever it is that has died loved you then THE LAST thing they would wish is that you be unhappy, otherwise what's the point of it all. And sympathy is the shallow side of offering real help to the extent many offer sympathy but no help and actually get a "high" of trying to buck the other person up whereas they are acting as vampires themselves draining their captive of energy for themselves. Sympathy has an effect of boosting others up, then when you leave them they have an almighty low afterwards. Not very nice.

Age has a related value on our perceptions in life, everything revolves around what we have done, are doing and will be doing, although the variances and boundaries can be very muted and glide into each other. What age doesn't have is a monopoly on pain, especially the mental type of pain, that is possibly the most debilitating as it literally messes up your whole control system. It's so easy to become introverted when grief strikes that it can form a situation where you rarely come out of it, this happens in the Middle East as they go to town on morbidity it's a way of life as is complaining and moaning yet doing nothing to rectify it, however they don't have any exclusivity or monopoly on it. One thing that grief often brings home is the reality of who you are in life and what others mean to you, your 'family' may be those you have chosen to be around you as opposed to the biological ones who are judgemental and shallow. It brings home too where you stand in life and what all around you means with regards happiness, freedom, duties, life itself and what and how you choose to think about things in general. Grief is but a stepping stone and depending upon your belief you either move on - not forgetting the past as you can't - or dwell forever where you are and carry it as a burden. Never forget if love is involved then there is a real freedom, but a genuine freedom not a selfish freedom that you keep to yourself as if it's something exclusive because it's not.  

In times of trouble don't scorn those that you think could offer some support as for them it could also be difficult to muster up the ability to offer it, and beware of those who seemingly offer everything because they can, it's at times those that do little that think deeply and the effusive ones that are shallow. One must always feel the depth of love and the need from others which is over and above sheer words and never allow the feeling of self sorrow to overtake who you are despite the pain that one may be reliving for a while. An understanding of those that now scorn, pour oil on troubled waters, who reject, who reprimand and turn face, who show their true colours be at one with yourself, because the love that YOU had with that significant other was priceless and above their deceitful facade. Life is for living, for loving and that is the only golden rule for grief, and the only golden rule for your own self is that of love at any cost, it's never left, and what was there is still there even if slightly but temporarily tarnished, it's still there in all its glory. Don't ever turn your back on it no matter what.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
  (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others

PASSING PHASES

For everyone life is full of ups and downs, we don't need to be reminded of that, at times life goes swimmingly well and then it changes to something else, not necessarily bad or worse but like you've just been grounded and almost treading water as nothing seems to materialise or move forward in the way or ways you would like or have indeed anticipated. However if you just accept and feel low when the good times appear to stop then you will have succumbed to a nothingness of our own creation. Everything has a shelf life or best before date including ourselves so it stands to reason that aspects in life have the same, just because we don't want good or nice things to come to an end is immaterial and a bit stupid also. The fear of things going wrong isn't a valid fear as if fear is valid at all, but it's not even worthy of contemplation as it leaves room for instability to take hold. It's funny that at times when things are going well people become complacent as it all seems nice and bubbly, then when it stops they become remorseful and take on that "woe is me" attitude to varying degrees. Whereas we should be vigilant at all times so that the ups and downs are evened out somewhat and we can then best enjoy the good times and not have to endure the not so good times.

The worst thing we can do is forever compare ourselves or circumstances or situations to others, none of it is relevant, and if the opportunity to do what others do or did comes along it would never manifest itself the same way, in fact you would be surprised at the reaction you have should you ever be faced with such choices and availability. Our assumptions in some area  of life are so crass that we deem we "know" ourselves but often perceptions and the reality of affordable or doable choice takes the potential excitement out of literally doing it as we can then see beyond simple areas or mere acquisitions that were once on our "wish list" and move to more tangible areas that can provide more substance both physically and mentally. Many people let themselves down badly and protract a dullness in life through the sheer desire to want or do something which once gotten is placed in the "OK" box in the mind and then they wander on to something else and whilst it may be nice to have it doesn't further their inner self to satisfaction or happiness.

Every area of our life is a phase, it's either work, relationship, financial, age related and it's never ever the same. Maturity quells for most people desires that were strong when young but mean little later on. As life progresses one also notes that the 'self' is more important than following others who if died wouldn't make the slightest difference to life except those around them but not you. It's not that degrees of selfishness take a hold it's the importance and trivia that separates out what is indeed pertinent to your life after all you are the only one to steer your ship no one else. It also doesn't mean you can't follow your favourite sports person or whatever, it's just a perspective that puts you more firmly in charge and allows you to balance your emotions accordingly which has an elevatory effect. If we can't do things for ourselves no one can, even if they assist us greatly it's still us that has to walk the walk and talk the talk.

If you feel that life has becalmed you worry not as that is the worst thing you can do, worry has the effect of neutralising creativity and acting as a magnet for a whole array of negativity which is the last thing you need. Being positive even in the face of adversity is the answer to shaking off both the blues and what is ahead of you that's of no consequence. Positive attitudes attract positive people so if you are on a sympathy trip you've lost, and don't take to heart what others are perceivably doing and you are not, you don't know what they have gone through or are indeed going through either, which could be ten times worse than yourself. If you want to succeed at anything you have to exude it otherwise people will not trust you respect you nor think you are worthy either. So much is in your own hands that thinking everything is at the mercy of others will eliminate any opportunity that's there, people need people, the good and successful need people to keep good and successful it just doesn't happen in isolation. You too can be good and successful there's no reason why not, unless you think there is then it's all back down to you.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others

HELP WHERE IT IS NEEDED

There's nothing wrong with real honest help when needed, it goes a long way to assisting us in our quest and journey in life. Whether it's financial, gardening, with our IT, knowledge, experience, it matters not, when we need help we need help. Of course help can be sub-divided into what is essential and expedient and what just lightens the load or makes things a bit easier, and the difference can be quite substantial. Help commercially costs and some companies actually make their money on help or support more than the product, a bit like printers where cartridges or at least the branded ones can almost cost the same as the printer itself, all carefully worked out - a sprat to catch a mackerel. Very little in the business world is genuinely free, not that it can be after all there are costs involved but the difference between offering a service and greed is getting far less, and often the service isn't as competent as it once was.

There is the type of help too that's benevolent, that we do to help others or give assistance or offer support because we think that whatever it is is worthwhile or the person / people we support are worthy of our kind deed. Giving is actually very cathartic, not to everyone as the mean see life differently, but the vast majority of the population have strong and endearing feelings about fellow man, even if they don't like some areas of it. Giving actually produces in most people a feeling of well being and it's not always of a financial nature it can be just listening to the plight of someone as well as offering your knowledge and experience in a matter. Those that have 'cold hearts' usually have few if not any friends, and if single end up very lonely. In life everything has repercussions and an action to it that either promotes one's life of demotes it, our choices and decisions do make a difference to the quality of life we enjoy, even if it's at times not that great.

The Western world has for years supported the "third world" much of the funds have made real progress in the lives of many people, but much has be syphoned off to the bureaucratic structures of the respective countries for their own needs, such is life in such places. Where help is often given freely the feeling that it has not been used for purpose makes people feel 'used' and 'abused' where their kindness and generosity has been misplaced. This thought again follows in a service of a product via a manufacturer it's all to do with a quality threshold and why some companies fair better than others. Help is a two way structure, we give help or assistance and in turn at times we need it ourselves even if it's just down to filling our tax forms out, if we are stuck and don't know - we need help, otherwise we could literally do ourselves a disservice in the process.

Some people are generous to a fault, it's a natural trait, others are more discerning, some are even gullible and don't really help because by assisting those that are asking for help it stops them actually getting something really tangible for themselves, such as the lazy and those who just want to take seeing no other option. Then of course there are those who do nothing, their motto is 'I don't ask or take so I don't give', but then that never lasts for long for the moment they require help of great need to them they see another world out there and one which they have been sadly missing out on for so long. The base line for everyone in life is you only get out what you put in, and it may seem from the side lines that that is disproportionate, but at the end of the day you haven't seen what has been nor what is about to happen.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

HATE AND PERFECTION

More than ever today the young are put under pressure to conform, all the hollow talk of allowing them to being individuals is rubbish as once they start to differ from the 'norm' they are soon reprimanded because the "parents" or "social class" feels threatened and frightened and have doubts themselves, not to mention are at times totally ignorant about the whole scenario. Parents can be the best thing for any young person or they can be the worse thing ever and cause their children untold stress anxiety and a repressive early life especially the very religiously evil parents that want their children to do what they want and not how they develop naturally themselves. The dichotomy and plurality of many areas within the authoritarian confines of life speak from safe havens expressing individuality yet at the same time want everyone to be the same because you can't control individuality so that side of the the conversation is purely smart talk, the reality of individuality does scares them to bits. Individuality is about to a large extent going against the grain, it's how progress is made, it's how we break through barriers, it's what separates the 'men from the boys' it is what spear heads evolution as opposed to the fuddy duddies who believe they are the stalwarts of society yet are are pure gatekeepers and repressors by default.

From many an "internal" perspective it's always alright for "others" to be different to be "individually creative" but for those in your family or around that self same trait is defined as "weird" or "being confrontational" or "what's matter with them" such is the narrowness of many. It's ignorance and in many cases families that lack education and outward intelligence that fear the most and thus often ridicule those brighter than themselves. It tends to be these areas and educationally lacking that are the stalwarts of racism, sexism, religious zealots, etc, often it's those in the supposedly antagonised groups themselves that can cause more of a problem via their own attitude than those outside observing, as most people just don't care, get on with your life, let me live mine. And of course the old favourite 'attitude' rears its head, bad attitudes ALWAYS create dissent no matter who or what you are.

Hatred and jealousy, ego, arrogance, etc, stem predominantly from those who reside in areas of negativity, it's not that others don't possess such traits but they have other options too like getting a life and not just watching others have one. Everything we do or say is a manifestation of whom we are, we have to be "aware" of whom we are and how society is in order to proficiently go forward. If we have either an "attitude" problem or a bad perception of what life is like we will be that person by default that has little or no self esteem, and many people who have problems with various social groups are usually bad communicators in every way. Not only can they not communicate efficiently, i.e. say clearly what they want in a manner that others find acceptable, but the use of words and bad language automatically puts others off and puts then on a course of uneasiness, and that's failure by default. Bad communication is usually a family trait, not always but often, so if the child has no real drive within they follow suite and pick up all the bad habits, attitudes, feelings, underdog feelings, which is a shame for many only need a small spark of encouragement to excel in areas they had never dreamt off or more to the point dare not dream of.

Perfection doesn't exist but that's not important as most wouldn't recognise it anyway, the 75% rule exists for most where anything above makes a disproportionate difference to the value of the product and greatly increases the cost too. Society gets on well with less than perfection and to some extent substandard and even  shoddy, it finds its levels and we find ours. Costs don''t necessarily define a product as a "designer" dress can cost literally a few pounds or dollars to make yet be sold for thousands, again it finds its market. It's what we do with our lives that gives it value and unfortunately some people are not brought up with any personal value otherwise they would be better than they are in every respect. Our society teaches less of values in education today so that even technically brilliant people become introverted zombies because they live two lives. That of an intellectual (and they can be the biggest nerds on the planet full of idealistic theory and no substance) and then a life of trying to enjoy both whom they are and all that can enhance it, and neither at times works to any advantage.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
  (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)