BEING LATE

One of the scourges common to businesses and friendships is that of people being late. It's not only disrespectful it's bad in every way possible as it lets others down and stops the smooth flow of life itself. If a cog in a watch no matter how big or small stops then it all stops. Similarly if others place a responsibility upon you as an individual then you either uphold it or be forever viewed as one who can't / won't uphold their part of the bargain. And before those who are late perpetually start to wriggle with annoyance 'blame culture' doesn't hold water either. Yes, there are at times mitigating circumstances where even the most die hard and studious person who always arrives early arrives late one day, but the circumstances pertaining to their enforced late arrival can be counted on one hand and are usually very exceptional. We all know of people who just can't keep to time, perpetually late or last minute or whatever besets or befalls them they just have a list of ready made excuses as to why they "had to do this" or "cut it so fine" as not to allow any safe margin whatsoever so pro-occupied with themselves and their thoughts that what is around is either secondary or less important.


The crucial matter for lateness is not traffic, accidents, weather, invasions from Mars and Venues, it's not even the alarm clock not going off for those that deem they need to be there get there, those that have to be there for whatever reason place secondary importance again on the delivery of themselves as it's a chore more than responsibility.  If one is late for work phoning from the "cell phone / mobile phone" doesn't make it all right, it may show a degree of courtesy should one be able to advise of late arrival but it doesn't admonish the responsibility factor nor does it do anything else - you are late - full stop. There is always a cause for lateness over and above circumstances en-route that one cannot help, illness, bereavement, children, etc, but if children are an on-going common cause that's not acceptable as the world doesn't revolve around your problems and it needs resolution.


The causes of lateness are usually of a psychological nature even if it's perpetually cutting it all too fine and not allowing for delays en-route. Are you happy with your work, or are you happy with the destination that you have an appointment with, even if it's the dentist or a hospital appointment, or an interview or a court appearance or whatever it may be. As a member of the human race you have a responsibility not only to yourselves but those around you too, and that has nothing to do with self concocted ego, arrogance and the 'what's in it for me' attitude for if any of these latter aspects creep into your thoughts you have a problem looming large. You ARE the problem. If you don't like where you work or dread work or dislike those who are at your work it speaks volumes about you and not your work. Understandably it's not always that easy to change jobs especially at certain times where the financial climate is weak and jobs are scarce, but if you respect your income no matter what it is then you should uphold who you are otherwise by default you make yourself worthless and that has very bad connotations that will eventually ostracise you by your own volition from many aspects of life.


 Blame culture, lax attitudes, lack of self respect, negative emotions at the forefront of your mind, small mindedness, pre-occupation with yourself, lack of respect for others, lack of purpose, insularity of mind, lack of focus, lack of priorities, etc are all contributory factors as to lateness especially those who are perpetually late. Lazy environments, i.e.people you work or live within who share the same social banal culture and talk about lateness as a topic, which exists and share their lame excuses and think it's clever. Late arrival usually starts with an apology, think about it, starting anything with an apology isn't good it puts you under par before anything has started and it usually lowers concentration often resulting in a lower performance and hurried thoughts which causes mistakes and lack of concentration. In some areas the smallest of mistakes can cause death or mayhem, just because perhaps your position in life isn't so critical it gives you no leeway to take matters into your own hand. You are paid for what you do not what you don't do.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012
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YOU AREN'T ALONE

There's a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely, the former is just that - you are alone, with few or no one around you, the latter is a feeling of isolation even in the midst of friends and loved ones where your inner thoughts are cocooned in a dialogue of their own usually linked to a mind condition or a feeling that things aren't going so well. It could however be that you have "moved on" in life and those around you whilst good people don't offer anymore the support you need and the type of camaraderie you require to enjoy life. It's very easy to be judgmental here but "Feeling Alone" is a very personal thing and it's purely down to the individual as to how they perceive life. Sometimes it's the little things in life that can trip us up the most, like the little stones in our shoes, as small as they are they produce great discomfort and we have to literally stop to remove same. Even when everything appears to be going well, we can feel totally "out of it" to the extent that we go through the motions of life and robotically laugh, join in make arrangements etc, whilst at the same time our minds are literally elsewhere, and our thoughts are churning around discussing life and how we best fit in with it all and that 'elusive' goal of satisfaction and completeness or lack of it.

How we perceive life is down to us, this stays with us throughout the whole of our lives so it's vitally important that we get some semblance of understanding as to who we are, where we are and all that surrounds us. If we have a belief then we already know that God is at hand, for those that don't believe or believe in some weird evil religion then you just winge and moan and still nothing happens. The fact that when we go through an ordeal we do feel alone even if at times we come across others who have or are going through the same thing, there's always a 'let out' clause for them but never yourself, it's this 'self' that holds us back. Very few if any at all are experiencing something unique, even if it's unique to ourselves, it's our 'mind-set' and that mind set can be pivotal as to how we pull through, come through or deal with life and enjoy it all at the other end. Nothing lasts for ever be it good or bad, having said that the median in between can give a rewarding life that's fun and productive and sharing amongst fellow man. Even if we go to the doctors and receive some tablets etc, we receive tablets because somewhere there are 1000's of others needing the same remedial drug for the same problem.

There are various "chat lines" and "blogs" and suchlike that are user friendly and directed towards specific topics where people can openly under a pseudonym pour out their problems to like minded souls and receive correspondence of encouragement and help and advice, and at times this can be the best help around. Often knowing that you are not alone can be so elevating that the severity of the problem can be almost halved in a split second. Whether we have a secret fetish, secret desires or feelings which to us are "all out of the ordinary" finding that "other" person or persons can make a world of difference and if we seek we will find, although those others we seek will be hiding in the background so diligence is par for the course. We can be our biggest problem, and we are experts at making up excuses for ourselves and why it's always easier for someone else but in "my" case, it's just not possible or too difficult, and so the pathetic trail of excuses goes on and on and on, and nothing gets resolved. One main element of freeing up the self is to detach oneself literally from the public gaze in as much as you neither want nor need comments or opinions of others who know nothing of your plight even if they know you personally, there's always that little something they don't know and everyone should understand that about everyone else.  

Liberating the self is essential, it doesn't mean making public your feelings nor anything else it just means taking charge of whom you are and walking with it, without explanation to others, which at times others who can actually semi-demand to know what you have been up to and if you don't let on they get upset, so let them, boundaries always need to be respected and if their assessment of you changes then so be it, for at times if you acquiesce to their demand you not only lower your own self esteem they may just not understand and walk away anyway, you have to judge this yourself. On the other side of the fence you may be in a precarious position whereby you need friends just for emotional support but it's essential that you have the right friends and the right quantity and quality of support for if it's too much either way it can become burdensome and topple all you seek as support. Even in times of dire need when the world looms large and you feel so inconsequential you are not by yourself, there are solutions, ways out and as difficult as it is in such a state making a move is a 100% better than doing nothing. The journey of a hundred miles takes one first step, take that step for yourself in nothing else.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SHARING - THAT FEELING

One of the greatest feelings you can ever have is that of sharing, sharing moments with strangers via a common understanding of whatever has happened or been seen, even without saying a word. Or most deeply heartwarming is that of the sharing of loved ones and friends a part of your life regardless of the incident or situation. Even sharing a moment together of great distress is a moment in reflection of the gratitude of that person being there at that time that helped so much and brought a real presence of what life and humanity is all about. There's nothing better than being able to share your partner, your children, your parents, your very close friends that at times are even closer than relatives. The feeling that you can say and do and confide and be silly (or worse) in their company and laugh it all off because they not only love you but respect you and deep down like to feel that when you share you share, it's not a conditional relationship it's "anything goes" and you both or all lap it all up for what it''s worth. That warm comforting feeling, that almost smug feeling on invincibility that life just can't get better that material values are at those moments just worthless as they are objects without heart or soul.

It's essential to us all that we can share with others for if we don't or can't then it makes us both hard within and forms a mental barrier that hinders our ability to communicate efficiently and with depth. Sharing with pertinent others also allows us to share with those we don't like or don't trust or those who are in effect down right rude to us too, and stops offence being taken as well as getting upset by others saying either deliberately or out of turn things we find distasteful or possibly hurtful. Sharing creates a brighter mind and elevates life shunning out loneliness and selfishness which can be crippling and debilitating for the self and life. Sharing on a humanitarian basis not the sharing which is "all about me" enables productivity, trust, respect, faith, creativity, opportunity, advancement, purpose and an overall feeling of well being regardless of any overall circumstances. People who share are more apt to "read situations" as they are lighter in their minds and can see troubles and others faults far more than those who keep to themselves everything for a whole range of fears about letting go and thus destroying themselves or worse.

But sharing isn't telling everyone everything about you, it's not being that proverbial "open book"  it's allowing others to 'meld' with you, to feel the real truth of life and whatever else transpires needs a high degree of respect and inner value to come forth, which separates those out who are only in life for what they can get themselves, which is usually nothing. Sharing is the bright outlook, a magnet for good things, that almost permanent smile, that look that everything will be OK if you let it and not drag whatever it is around with you seeking pity or worse sympathy (failure). Sharing is that feeling that life contains more than what we see there is a depth to it that fills us with greatness, humility and at times positive direction and uplifting thoughts, it challenges the morbid and opens the flood gates to aspects of life that we never knew existed. But like attracts like and so again the lesser souls of thought get attracted to the lesser souls of thought and continually then wonder why others have the smiles when they perpetually look glum or scornful.

Sharing is not imposing, it's not being a burden, it's not being taken advantage of, it's not being negative, real sharing is a homogeneous aspect of bonding with certain others in life and combining what's naturally inherent, it's that great "oneness" feeling that humans have built within that explodes and causes genuine concern and laughter in the same sentence. That one can speak without premeditated thought and just say it as it comes, it's a real freedom that very little else can qualify the same effect. And for those that make up endless excuses as to why they haven't any friends (and the list is endless) it says more about them than and that sharing is a step too far in their life or indeed vocabulary. If you can't share you can't live life to the full, everything is contrived and excuse ridden and situationally driven as to what value you place on what and if I do this maybe they'll do that, life accounts in life are people who are failures let loose. If it doesn't come from the heart and you have to justify everything or "I did this they did that" attitude then you will always live below what expectation you would wish to enjoy, and the very sad thing is that it's you who has devised that route.  Sharing denotes with a firm presence of love and warmth towards others that's sincere and generous unlike those that have little sharing ability because there is little else within that's of any value or worth.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

DEALING WITH THE LIFE YOU'VE GOT

Many people live two lives, the one that they are living currently and an imaginary one that they hypothesise about, the one that's full of "when" and "if" and "at some point" all of which never happens in the way one allows their internal conjecture to materialise. It's full of areas which permits one to be taken out of the 'now' and just temporarily be drawn into a semi-fantasy that consists of an almost "now-plus" scenario with the nice bits added to the present to make it far more enjoyable and perhaps meld with ones ego or degree of arrogance, security in life or even vanity. Whatever it is it is very real to many people especially those striving to make something of their lives, for those that aren't in that situation such thoughts are more possibly residing in the "daydream" scenario. The worse thing that anyone can ever do is to "wish for the future" that something will materialise and then they will catch up and all will be well, well it won't. The only thing that's certain for the future is that it will be there awaiting you, how and what is a totally different matter. The thought process pertaining to this situation is called "Postponing Happiness", in that we strive today for tomorrow.

Dealing with today encompasses every facet of today not just pre-selected areas and thoughts, we live as a totality and as such that brings along with it everything that makes today - today, including happiness, thought, sincerity, fun, warmth, humility, potential and all the rest. Planning ahead doesn't in any shape or form "mothball" the present as if this were the runway for our aircraft to take off for the future. Visionaries are very grounded people they can see from the very place they are possibilities that are literally possibilities or what could be available in the future and the pathway from here to there is part of their ultimate gift, they are not 'cloud heads'. Even if to some their verbiage is a bit "off the planet" that's OK, we don't understand everyone and that's our failing not that of others. If we struggle with the life we have now then we are not magically going to be able to cope with what we wish to happen, if we can't cook, clean, be pleasant now then it's not going to suddenly bestow these abilities tomorrow, even if we employ a cook and a cleaner, we are still redundant souls in those areas. Self "kiddology" is a big let down in life, we don't have to be good at all things and in fact many successful people aren't good at a lot of things other than what they do, but understanding this raises their bar and rounds them up as a competent person hence they make the grade. That's not to say either that many successful people don't have "growing pain" at being able to afford a better lifestyle but don't feel totally comfortable in it.

At times circumstances and situations thrust a degree of weight upon us that we find is almost overbearing and burdensome. Yet that is life and we are all capable of tolerating this weight and dealing with it, as that brings the spring back into our step and makes us far more proficient and ebullient. Dwelling on anything always makes it worse as our minds then turn it into a scenario as it has nothing else to do, no fresh input or additional information so it churns it over and over and by default often allows it to stagnate then it really does become an almost "etched in" problem.  As dull and as boring and as tiresome as the odd daily negative scenario brings to us our positive attitude, if we take away the sighs and moans it makes our task far easier and mentally uplifting in that we then see what we are doing is an accomplishment as opposed to a chore that's got high sides that we have to get over. Life trundles on with or without us, it's what we make of it that makes it enjoyable, and if you have to revert to negative statements as a credential of right now you have almost by default written failure into your future plans.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others).