BEING LATE

One of the scourges common to businesses and friendships is that of people being late. It's not only disrespectful it's bad in every way possible as it lets others down and stops the smooth flow of life itself. If a cog in a watch no matter how big or small stops then it all stops. Similarly if others place a responsibility upon you as an individual then you either uphold it or be forever viewed as one who can't / won't uphold their part of the bargain. And before those who are late perpetually start to wriggle with annoyance 'blame culture' doesn't hold water either. Yes, there are at times mitigating circumstances where even the most die hard and studious person who always arrives early arrives late one day, but the circumstances pertaining to their enforced late arrival can be counted on one hand and are usually very exceptional. We all know of people who just can't keep to time, perpetually late or last minute or whatever besets or befalls them they just have a list of ready made excuses as to why they "had to do this" or "cut it so fine" as not to allow any safe margin whatsoever so pro-occupied with themselves and their thoughts that what is around is either secondary or less important.


The crucial matter for lateness is not traffic, accidents, weather, invasions from Mars and Venues, it's not even the alarm clock not going off for those that deem they need to be there get there, those that have to be there for whatever reason place secondary importance again on the delivery of themselves as it's a chore more than responsibility.  If one is late for work phoning from the "cell phone / mobile phone" doesn't make it all right, it may show a degree of courtesy should one be able to advise of late arrival but it doesn't admonish the responsibility factor nor does it do anything else - you are late - full stop. There is always a cause for lateness over and above circumstances en-route that one cannot help, illness, bereavement, children, etc, but if children are an on-going common cause that's not acceptable as the world doesn't revolve around your problems and it needs resolution.


The causes of lateness are usually of a psychological nature even if it's perpetually cutting it all too fine and not allowing for delays en-route. Are you happy with your work, or are you happy with the destination that you have an appointment with, even if it's the dentist or a hospital appointment, or an interview or a court appearance or whatever it may be. As a member of the human race you have a responsibility not only to yourselves but those around you too, and that has nothing to do with self concocted ego, arrogance and the 'what's in it for me' attitude for if any of these latter aspects creep into your thoughts you have a problem looming large. You ARE the problem. If you don't like where you work or dread work or dislike those who are at your work it speaks volumes about you and not your work. Understandably it's not always that easy to change jobs especially at certain times where the financial climate is weak and jobs are scarce, but if you respect your income no matter what it is then you should uphold who you are otherwise by default you make yourself worthless and that has very bad connotations that will eventually ostracise you by your own volition from many aspects of life.


 Blame culture, lax attitudes, lack of self respect, negative emotions at the forefront of your mind, small mindedness, pre-occupation with yourself, lack of respect for others, lack of purpose, insularity of mind, lack of focus, lack of priorities, etc are all contributory factors as to lateness especially those who are perpetually late. Lazy environments, i.e.people you work or live within who share the same social banal culture and talk about lateness as a topic, which exists and share their lame excuses and think it's clever. Late arrival usually starts with an apology, think about it, starting anything with an apology isn't good it puts you under par before anything has started and it usually lowers concentration often resulting in a lower performance and hurried thoughts which causes mistakes and lack of concentration. In some areas the smallest of mistakes can cause death or mayhem, just because perhaps your position in life isn't so critical it gives you no leeway to take matters into your own hand. You are paid for what you do not what you don't do.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012
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FINDING THE SIGNAL IN THE NOISE

All around us is noise of some sort, whether it's the neighbours children, traffic, aircraft flying over, loud music, etc, whatever it is there whether we hear it or not. On the other side of the audible spectrum there resides another dimension in sound one that has defined purpose as well as other random sounds too, but for ourselves this organised noise is what makes life for us what it is today. It's the invisible signal noise of radio, television, internet, our mobile phones, our remote control units, sat nav, and the rest it's all there on designated frequencies doing what its supposed to do. In between that the ambient noise or white noise exists, it's the stuff that we can hear and something we either love or not, country dwellers experience different ambient noises from those living in the cities and by further definition those living near railways and airports experience variants within all of that, etc. The world in which we live we is bombarded by advertising all promising the thought of something better, success, keys to this n' that, instant point scoring, increase your rating, get your business more aware, nay for a small fee the secrets of the universe will uncovered by - whoever, it's all there if we choose to look, and if we don't choose to look they are there to tell us anyway. We are a brilliant and boastful and deceitful society mixing a little of this, a little of that and with a bit of strategic marketing until it all comes together as "today's flavour" an elixir that everyone just 'has' to buy, all very California. Which is not to say it doesn't work, but what it doesn't bring into its algorithms are the times lines and numerous coefficients that actually stop it being a run away success, as most products" have like pre-packed food a shelf life after which it doesn't go off as such but becomes superseded by an updated model, by another creator, definitely very California.

There is a purpose and a success trail for all of us, and whilst latching on to others formulas and strategies which may coincide or assist us with what we are doing we can if not careful get bogged down in areas which are not conducive nor creative to what we are doing, even if in themselves they are fabulous. There is a degree of uniqueness about each and every one of us whether we allow this to shine or keep it behind locked doors is down to us. Our uniqueness is very real, we can hear the voice of our partner or friend over and above all others if close by, and if we really try we can hear other information too that many just allow to pass by. Similarly if we seek a trajectory in life or a way forward it must be something that resonates well even if initially we are the only ones to see it, which is often the case. Within the "white noise" there is "our pathway" our own unique signal that no amount of promotion or advertising will help secure or bring around success, if what we are aiming for doesn't have that resounding feeling and resonance then it will just be something that's smart or good but goes no further, and how many times have we all seen that, and indeed perhaps with our own projects not proceeding as wished.

In the space arena stations are all over the world listening for those feint sounds that will indicate a potential, we can hear noises in our car when it goes wrong, and indeed surveillance systems listen for those extraordinary sounds over and above the backdrop of commonplace to decipher and deceminate tell tale areas that give knowledge and advantage. Out there waiting to help us all become rich and famous are those who for a fee will 'tell all' their systems, (or rather unlock a bit at a time costing each step of the way) unleashing designer understanding, knowledge, methodology, schemes, etc, which will enable us to reach  where we think we need to be or if greedy desire. For many their desire is possibly a step too far even if what they do is commendable, it's a bit like driving a normal car 'off road' whereas a 4x4 would have been the best option. It's these nuances and differences that sometimes just can't take in or accommodate differences that even experts don't see or want to see for fear themselves of losing a sale. If what we do is inherent then we would 'see' the little things that are likely to accelerate where we need to go, or have some catalytic action and within that 'white noise' we would both see and feel that pathway which others would completely miss out or be oblivious of.  

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

MIND GAMES

Mind games are not nice, it has to be said, games are fun, but mind games literally destabilise us, cause us to think weird thoughts, do weird things and worst of all start to scheme ourselves about things we shouldn't be even thinking about. The broad spectrum of mind games is far reaching in that it encompasses just about everything around us and inter-reacts with how we view life and those we care about and those we don't much care about in life too. It's not as if we are deceitful, although some are, it's we like to play safe with as much of life as we can because we can steer our own ship but we can't stop what's around us, the bits out of our control from happening and causing potential problems, and they do. We tell many a little white lie from a genuine concern for the truth as at times it would spoil a whole host of decisions and open up a can of worms which would or could have far reaching implications that would not be worth the end result. We can even feign that we have forgotten our partners birthday only to reveal that we have laid on a fabulous dinner with the chocolates, champagne, flowers and whatever else there is to follow, so it's all done with the very best intentions and like many a white lie there is no ulterior motive for personal gain or subterfuge of any description. Although having said this it's not an advert to go around telling white lies as if it's an OK thing to do, as like any habit, it doesn't stop there.

We play mind games with our young children to coax them into doing things or usually stop doing things as they are often quite mindful and wilful in what they do or perceive has an end result, even if they can't quite fathom out what it is. We play mind games with our friends often playfully mentioning certain "buzz words" that we know will "get them going" but as it's done playfully we both get away with it and to some extent they allow it to be a part of the "knowing" friendship that has evolved and has no malice of forethought nor anything else. We are all different and there isn't a base standard as what one sees and does and thinks it's "cool" others almost shudder at the thought of it all. The very worst mind games however have to be those of emotional blackmail, and here women have the edge at times as some can at the drop of a hat feign tears and upset to try and not only get noticed but to solicit sympathy and get their own way. Moodiness can affect everyone should they allow it and it's a manifestation of nothing more than pure unadulterated selfishness. In fact as e get a high from being happy the same self same effect can be achieved but from a negative stance from being unhappy especially if its self induced. The body secretes hormones that gives us a feeling that many wallow in and thus pout and become sullen and irascible and introverted with outward developed signs as if to attract attention for pity and solace, whereas it's nothing more than a manifestation of real selfishness and deceit and should not be entertained in any way.

Relationships falter because of mind games as do businesses too. There comes a point in both where the recipient starts to see the bigger picture and reverts from being the victim to the victor and starts to move on. You can only give someone the power to overcome you or influence you if you allow it otherwise it's 'water off a ducks back' an no matter how many unpleasant things are thrown at you if you don't catch them you've already won the game. Unfortunately many people allow ego to interject and just can't keep their mouths closed and reply so now it's like a tennis game, ping poning too and from whereas if you'd caught the ball and walked away - game over. Life is what it is, so it's imperative that we make it as easy for ourselves knowing than ANY negative emotions is going to cause a raised feeling of lowness somewhere down the line. As Gandhi put it well "The weak can never forgive, Forgiveness an attribute of the strong", and this can be seen throughout the world especially with some religiously based cultures. Playing games with life is just that, it's manipulation that always has consequences, if those around you are prone to such things, stay clear, no excuses, you deserve better so achieve it for yourself and allow others to enjoy a better quality of life via their relationships.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

OUR SECRET BARRIERS

Many people never ever reach their full potential because of perceived thoughts, ideas and perceptions of other people. Logically it's all very pathetic as to why one should even remotely want to take up the thoughts of someone else especially those who have no connection or dependence upon you or you on them. Whether it's family, friends, colleagues, so called "smart people" who always get a version out on something that has glaring holes in their take on it but can never see them themselves. Or just perhaps it's even worse and the bottom of the pit in life is a version by the media itself, that's a 'no brainer' and if one has to resort to that as a reference then it's already goodbye to original and unbiased thought. One thing that no one else on planet earth can ever do is walk in your pathway nor think nor feel what is going in your mind even if they at times come close to it. So whatever they have as an idea which could well be accurate the nuances that make you and them different could make a world of difference to the final execution, delivery and success of what ever it is that you need to accomplish.

We are all different as people, we can have a brilliant mind yet be timid and fragile as a person or we can be the opposite and be as thick as two short planks but have guts and an overt determination to do whatever we feel, whether it's successful or not is another matter. What does make a difference to us going forward are factors that are crucial to the outcome of our desire and the result of same. Stability, love and clarity, for without these our inner equilibrium is forever flitting from one thing to another like bees collecting pollen from the flowers, and as we get older the esoteric nature we have become accustomed to starts to drag us down and then crankiness often takes a hold. Creative people are usually on the edge already but life circumstances whilst being enjoyed to the full in early life takes its toll later on.

Our barriers are just that, they can be numerous in variety or they can be few yet very stubborn to the fact that they hold us up time and time again sometimes overtly and sometimes directly within as we start to fear aspects of what we are doing and allow our minds to free fall into an abyss which cause untold consternation. Intelligence has no bearing upon common sense, and often people get sucked up into both an ideology of where and whom they are at a time in their lives, it gives them a purpose, sometimes blinkered yet they think they see through it - they don't - they see what they want to see, and everyone around them sees it but themselves. The difference between self esteem and arrogance can be minimal even though they come from different places, if not correctly honed and monitored the 'self' will allow either to be misconstrued and thus negate what the outcome should have been.

There are those in life that are only too willing to comment upon anything and everything with a logic so strong in their own mind that life at times is literally black and white, and they fail to understand why others can't see it that way. Such though which is often highly developed is a massive failure as it allows a disconnection with the emotions of society and personalities within it, mainly because emotions are treated as a logical feelings and not as personal effusive emotions pertinent to individuals, this has relationship conflicts too and spurns the 'happiness factor'. Whatever others think or feel is for them, what your views are are for you, rightly or otherwise, the word respect has an immediacy here and it's the art of getting along with others and ultimately ones ability to communicate with others at all levels.

Education and ability have strong points where determination comes into the fore, although not exclusively. Family backgrounds and culture also and at times sadly to a negative degree lowers ones abilities as do "religious" biases which are for the main the "kiss of death" as they are constructs of man and nothing to do with God. One only has to look at the predominant countries and their religions to see what the difference makes and their genuine contribution to society and the world, even though it's all far from perfect. Free societies grow, constrained societies and those that are historically corrupt remain in turmoil and usually with an underlying anger which is a self frustration about themselves and allows continued failure to be a prevalent feature.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

OVERCOME - IT'S ALL POSSIBLE

There is many an obstacle that comes our way in life, even when things are going swimmingly well, sometimes out of the blue we get caught up in something that jarrs or is discordant. Whether it's financial, medical, plans getting thwarted or others not complying with what we want it happens and no one is immune from it. How we view life is the difference between success and failure, how we deal with it all and internally digest it makes the difference between struggling and having a negative view point and overcoming it all and enjoying life regardless. There are two camps of thought, those that make excuses as a point of conjecture and stand by negativity as if it's a statement and thus get drawn into it and react accordingly making a meal out of it. And then there are those that accept what has happened even if reluctantly but get on with what is important in their life, placing it and what they do above the problems and not letting the problem take over, which makes a drastic difference to everything around them including their attitude to life and their perception.

It's not rocket science to realise that the positive mined souls see life for what it is and therefore see the good and great even if the dull and not so good creeps in, they also see opportunities which lie there awaiting discovery. Whilst the negative only see what they have created and thus perpetually miss out and get most of the time shunted into a siding in life from where they moan and groan and gloat at others seemingly doing better and start to concoct the "it's not fair" attitude which of course they have also created. Creating your own reality is what we do, there are facts and figures that surround us that we have either no or little control over, especially global circumstances in all areas, but what we have full control over is ourselves at all times. If we abdicate this responsibility of taking ownership of life then we are at the mercy of 'anything goes' and life will literally drag us where it's going which may not be where we want to go - and usually isn't.  

Being idealistic in life has its consequencies as it's usually mixed up with how we would like life to be and if the two are not concordent we can see life as a bit of a failure, which it isn't or we could see life as something that we have to wrestle with and that can be a mental feat of dexterity and can get us down big time. Being realistic is the better option, it's not being blunt and a matter of fact, what it does do is to allow us to move more freely and creativily and positively and have less upsets as there are no false pararameters nor areas that are hollow and full of void making scenarios. We are all "overcomers", as a race we have endured centuries over and above everything else and triumphed, created, devised, discovered, etc, and made mostly a life better than its ever been, even though we tend to grumble some endlessly and others when they feel the need to express what they feel helpless about.

Good things do come in more abundance to good people, good people like helping good people, nobody likes helping the helpless (by choice - not the unfortunate) and nobody likes helping the bad and unruley and badmouthed people as they see nothing in their future so prefer to help those that will excell with just a little help, no matter what it is. Everyone has the ability to overcome, to make the grade, the raise their bar, to elevate their life, in fact to higher whatever it is for themselves. Comparing isn't a wise move, to each his or her own, whatever your level of proficiency and comfort zone, provided you stretch and break free then life will accept the fact that you have overcome elements of life and the more you push the more it will return the rewards of your endeavours.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012