SEPARATING OURSELVES FROM CIRCUMSTANCES

We all fall victim at times to circumstances as they temporarily take over our own will and we thus become an alien to oureselves, this can happen when we have a death in the family, made redundant, diagnosed with a serious condition, have financial problems, etc, they affect directly our way of life and hit hard on our emotional stability. Of course we are not all the same and some people seem to worry about everything whereas others seemingly worry about very little and take whatever comes as it is and deal with it accordingly. There's no right or wrong we are who we are and administer areas of our lives the best we can. Sometimes things stagnate or get worse because we are ignorant and fail to seek help or assistance or advice which is what many do to their detriment. Ego, pride, self smugness etc, tends to creep in and we scorn knowledge that others may have built upon in similar circumatances of others and the possibilities that exist to ease the burden or relieve the mental stress that one has swimming around in their heads. Too many people walk around with the "I know best" attitude not knowing that the options thay have have just been negated because of the lack of clarity and forsight of the self. Carrying problems around in one's mind is not smart, it's not respectable, it's not a pennance for anything of the past, it's not necessary, it doesn't change anything, it doesn't promote anything, it doesn't justify anything, it doesn't preserve your identity and deeds, it doesn't help with the future, it doesn't contribute to your friends and family, it doesn't gain sympathy it grates on others as they look upon you as pityful, it's not a prelude to better things in the future, in short despite the severity of whatever it is you harbour it doesn't lead anywhere positive.
Our attitude towards life is paramount to how we live it, it's the base of all of our thoughts and feelings coming together to present whom we are to the world, our "Shop window", and whilst what lies behind that "Shop window" can vary enormously if the shop window looks and is shoddy, you know yourself you'll walk right on by. Whether it's raining, sunny, cold, snowy, etc, we can choose to be happy and bright, if we once start off the day with "Ohhhhh it's raining" then that's predominantly how the day will be and any other aspect related condition we have chosen will allow our feelings to match it. Those that look at the weather, see its raining and accordingly go forward determined to enjoy the day despite those obnoxious people they dislike at work, and missing the bus, and having to put up with the temporary office bercause of refurbishment, and things not being where they should be, and the party they are going to that evening that they are not too excited about, etc, the day is good and bright and yes they can smile and be civil to anyone regardless of how they are to them.

Failure, fear, loneliness, depression, etc, stem from taking hold of the circumstances around us and absorbing them like a sponge, we internalise them not seeing beyond the now and cogitating upon circumstantial aspects of life that could change or alter in a flash or offer solutuions and alternatives that because we don't know of we revert inwardly with a melancholic feeling. Habits and family traits are often a basic cause of this, the tendencies are if our families are negative then we have a chance to be negative too, and the opposite if our families are positive towards life in general then so are we. However, we all have choices and can directly change towards a positive mode should we really want to. Like "Soap TV" everything revolves around trivia or someone else's problems and smallmindedness, for without smallmindedness there wouldn't be a plot. It's one thing to watch such on television but many live in a smallminded arena in life and their lies their downfall and lack of real potential. It's almost failure in the making, with you feeding the ingredients towards it.    

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

WHAT IS YOUR REALITY?

Everyone has a view on life, how we view life depends upon a number of things and a number of internal parameters, some seemingly have already been pre-set whilst others we have acquired or foster acordingly as they resonate with our overall thought mode. Even asking the same question to a number of people on the same topic can produced a myriad of differing responses such is the variety of options that are available to us and thus it's this difference that produces our own reality. The horizon for instance for some is engaging, fascinatingly haunting and produces an inner excitement for further possibilities and potential, whereas for others it's a distance too far, frightening, fearful, unknown, yet these two views can sit side by side and view the same horizon and come up with two totally different perspectives. It's this dichotomy of perspectives that produces all what we think and how we react to life and why some generate their happiness within, for that's where it resides for everyone, and those that perpetually seek happiness because they are negatively dispositioned. However it's our emotions that display how we take life on board such as ego, arrogance, jealousy, greed, envy, it's always the negative emotions for the positive emotions spring from love where nothing can go wrong, negative emotions suspend reason hence there is so much upset and anger between what we think and others possibly think. Politically correct people are also negatively charged via their own make of selfishness hiding under the auspices of 'doing good' for others or society, but in reality they have appointed themselves into a position where they are not wanted and become gatekeepers holding back truth and hiding their own failings and pathetic inabilities.

We subliminally have an idea of what we would like in life or like life to be like, but that is just that an idea, we live solely in the present and that is where we must enjoy life because if we don't we then end up with historical gaps of the past of not being happy and having wasted our time seeking a future that has come and gone and not materialised into anything we have wanted. Even if our ideals come to pass in a respectable time frame they are never the same as we would have envisaged even if they happen to be better. Of course paving the way for a better tomorrow is good and expedient for most people so the journey should be enjoyed not endured for if it isn't resentment starts to creep in and that then clouds our whole thought process which ultimately leads to a negative perspective of life. The media and following rubbish on the TV and in the press have a lot to do with many subliminally absorbing it like a sponge and not processing it accordingly (squeezing it out) but that's more to do with intelligence and personal thought than the media itself who will stop at nothing to peddle their wares, we do have an option however to discern an option that for many is sadly impotent.

No one knows what lies in store for our future but being positive in mind always lightens the load with regards upsets and attracts positive solutions as to getting the best out of what there is and the vast array of options that are 'out there'. We think we have a 'good idea' but in reality that's only what we know of or more accurately 'think of' and not what is out there as we haven't a clue what really exists. This is where narrow mindedness and arrogance and stupidity take a part in our own created downfall, pretending that we know whereas if we had an open mind a whole manner of opportunities would avail themselves to us. One reason why entrepreneurs do well and the so called "open minded" who are anything but fall by the wayside and then wonder why and feel disgruntled in the process too. Our real reality is what it is, who we are where we are and what we have, it doesn't matter what that consists of as there are no rules levels or parameters, they differ enormously from every person on the planet even if some are almost parallel. But perception is something to be understood by everyone and allowing others to have their perceived ideas and allowing our own to change as we become enlightened is a way forward that can enhance our whole being and give us a peace, understanding, love walk, happiness, stability, improved mental health and physical health that we might otherwise have jeopardised because of stilted thoughts.

There isn't an equation in life as to what you need or see as compared to anything else that means it's all OK. Nor are perceptions of what some have or others don't have mean anything except via  materialistic thoughts and self concocted or conjured up ideals which have no bearing upon the life you are living at the moment, even if you are sadly lacking in resources this makes no difference at all. The moment you place ethereal aspects of life upon material aspects of life you have lost the plot, and yes it's nice to have nice things but that's it nothing more. Perceptions are often based upon security and when one becomes more secure attitudes change whatever is security for yourself, financial, job, health, relationship, etc. However once we attain a modicum of what we think is essential to our life we then seek something else, it's bit like the carrot and the donkey scenario, it's always one step ahead of us. But reality is exactly what it is, the comments about "the real world" are rubbish, if you are living and breathing then you are in the real world, regardless of your standing. It's up to you to make the best of it and not place idealistic thoughts and negativities ahead of you or you will never ever be happy or fulfilled or stable.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

LIFE PROGRESS - YOUR VERSION

Everyone has their version of life and the lives of others, although in the grand order of things the lives of others isn't important outside of humanitarian aspects. What individuals do or achieve is for them to reason with, everyone else has their own pathway to walk down or trudge down as they choose. Yes it's nice to see friends and family do well, and from afar maybe so others too although without having any personal connection with them it's a very impersonal and crude transposition of the self that makes one think of such with any interest (except re-living yourself via them). The administration of the self is vitally important if we are to progress in life, although we may not and many don't have any interest in this route, but for those that have and for those that believe in God (there's something after death) it's almost an essential aspect of furthering your soul. For without furthering your soul what on earth are you believing in and what are you in effect doing at all. Atheists just come and go and have no further value. Most people like to feel wanted or needed or of interest to others especially within the family unit. Outside of this everything is almost a plus point and counts towards their personal security, it shouldn't because that's a material consideration but they do. If you were talking to someone and not paid attention to them (which is not uncommon today) other than in general most people think it rude for them not to be asked if they are well or some other well being statement or acknowledgement (the "me" factor). In communicational protocols this would be accurate, even if it's just to be polite, and being polite is always a good thing to be. But to get upset if one is not asked or acknowledged often brings in a diminished feeling or slight anger and if so - where did this all come from? What onus is there especially in general conversation or just passing the time away to seek personal details even if peripheral ones at that, there isn't, you are fine just the way you are.

Our view, take, perception of life is equal to our enjoyment, how we manage our emotions is also directly linked to our happiness and how others accept us too. Selfishness or negatively perceived respect is one way to go against the grain of life and ruffle others feathers just by not thinking coherently and interjecting the 'self' into every equation. It's not that the 'self' isn't a consideration but if it's a prime function then everything else around it is less and others pick up on that and aren't too pleased to be demoted as they too are important. Some people go around with an air of superiority, which is fine it's their life even if it doesn't register well with us, others the opposite an air of inferiority, and likewise we view them similarly, and in between there are those who try the best they can to get on with and match whoever it is they are in contact with on an equal status, respect and camaraderie. It's this mutual riposting that we then make a judgement upon as to how to proceed. And then there are the more enlightened ones, those that accept whoever and whatever they come across, be nice to all and if it just doesn't gel then it's predominantly the other party that's taking exception at others not condescending to their perceived attitude. In the end those with heightened or enlightened understanding always win the day and of course don't suffer the stress and anxiety and mind talk that others do.

To day it's acceptable to be whoever you are, except in Islamic circles and they still live in a loveless dictatorial past where everyone has to conform or keep quiet and lead a secret life full of restrictions and no guarantee of life after death, even though they suffer more than most on earth and always have done. The essential element of life is love that's what has kept man going for so long and fortunately the majority think this way despite set backs and thus the race continues. Progress isn't going to a New Age group or thinking Universe (whatever that means) or calling yourself Spiritual (whatever that means also) nor reading self development books that are by their nature limiting even if informative at the same time, one must think for ones self not via another's construct. Following cultures and ways isn't the answer either all these things are for the lost and pathetic who permanently seek as opposed to residing in an inner peace that they have not cultivated for themselves. Most restless people are lonely and possibly single too so that has it's own problems and mental statutes that cause life distortions in thinking. Thinking with only yourself in mind has it's problems and repercussions that can lead to even being cranky.

When we are young progress is always ahead of us as is opportunity, as life moves on all of these things change balance and perceptions and real opportunities become less and less as does the inevitability that we get older and think differently and more to the point aren't as dexterous as we once were which also throws up its own limitations. Our journey must be of a happy nature as there are no reset buttons nor action replays and if we develop a set stance on life and carry that forward which may not be that good then whatever is left isn't going to be to our liking. We are all different and how we move forward is different but the commonality is that of being happy within all in relation to our environment. If we progress in life we are more apt to enjoy what life is for us even if not perfect, if we don't evolve we are going to be constantly against life and then ultimately against ourselves.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others).

OUR SECRET BARRIERS

Many people never ever reach their full potential because of perceived thoughts, ideas and perceptions of other people. Logically it's all very pathetic as to why one should even remotely want to take up the thoughts of someone else especially those who have no connection or dependence upon you or you on them. Whether it's family, friends, colleagues, so called "smart people" who always get a version out on something that has glaring holes in their take on it but can never see them themselves. Or just perhaps it's even worse and the bottom of the pit in life is a version by the media itself, that's a 'no brainer' and if one has to resort to that as a reference then it's already goodbye to original and unbiased thought. One thing that no one else on planet earth can ever do is walk in your pathway nor think nor feel what is going in your mind even if they at times come close to it. So whatever they have as an idea which could well be accurate the nuances that make you and them different could make a world of difference to the final execution, delivery and success of what ever it is that you need to accomplish.

We are all different as people, we can have a brilliant mind yet be timid and fragile as a person or we can be the opposite and be as thick as two short planks but have guts and an overt determination to do whatever we feel, whether it's successful or not is another matter. What does make a difference to us going forward are factors that are crucial to the outcome of our desire and the result of same. Stability, love and clarity, for without these our inner equilibrium is forever flitting from one thing to another like bees collecting pollen from the flowers, and as we get older the esoteric nature we have become accustomed to starts to drag us down and then crankiness often takes a hold. Creative people are usually on the edge already but life circumstances whilst being enjoyed to the full in early life takes its toll later on.

Our barriers are just that, they can be numerous in variety or they can be few yet very stubborn to the fact that they hold us up time and time again sometimes overtly and sometimes directly within as we start to fear aspects of what we are doing and allow our minds to free fall into an abyss which cause untold consternation. Intelligence has no bearing upon common sense, and often people get sucked up into both an ideology of where and whom they are at a time in their lives, it gives them a purpose, sometimes blinkered yet they think they see through it - they don't - they see what they want to see, and everyone around them sees it but themselves. The difference between self esteem and arrogance can be minimal even though they come from different places, if not correctly honed and monitored the 'self' will allow either to be misconstrued and thus negate what the outcome should have been.

There are those in life that are only too willing to comment upon anything and everything with a logic so strong in their own mind that life at times is literally black and white, and they fail to understand why others can't see it that way. Such though which is often highly developed is a massive failure as it allows a disconnection with the emotions of society and personalities within it, mainly because emotions are treated as a logical feelings and not as personal effusive emotions pertinent to individuals, this has relationship conflicts too and spurns the 'happiness factor'. Whatever others think or feel is for them, what your views are are for you, rightly or otherwise, the word respect has an immediacy here and it's the art of getting along with others and ultimately ones ability to communicate with others at all levels.

Education and ability have strong points where determination comes into the fore, although not exclusively. Family backgrounds and culture also and at times sadly to a negative degree lowers ones abilities as do "religious" biases which are for the main the "kiss of death" as they are constructs of man and nothing to do with God. One only has to look at the predominant countries and their religions to see what the difference makes and their genuine contribution to society and the world, even though it's all far from perfect. Free societies grow, constrained societies and those that are historically corrupt remain in turmoil and usually with an underlying anger which is a self frustration about themselves and allows continued failure to be a prevalent feature.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

EVERY QUESTION IS A GOOD QUESTION

There's nothing worse than ignorance, it not only means that you don't know something but it has many subliminal effects such as insecurity, lack of confidence and lack of self esteem, etc. Of course it's impossible to know everything and it's also quite OK to be in situations in our lives because of work or circumstances that place us in crowds of people who are more proficient in subjects, areas or a modus operadi than we are, it's just the way it is. There's also nothing wrong with saying "I don't know" either, it's far better than moving forward with others who "do know" and you getting all upset within and trying to fob off everyone with what little you do know or worse still avoiding or evading direct answers so as to show you really don't know. Most people respond well to honesty, if you say you don't know they are more than happy to enlighten you and in fact are quite flattered at times that you have had the openness and decency to admit to them that fact and ask them what it is you don't know, even if it's just a potted version answer you are after to tie you through.

Of course perceptions, intelligence, arrogance, ego, inferiority, stupidity, etc, all play a part in our questioning, but no matter how stupid a question  may seem or ill thought out, to the person asking it it means a great deal otherwise they wouldn't have asked it. And more often than not it's not the highly technical questions that need similar answers those are not the most important ones, it's those niggly little questions that need short answers are the ones that trip us up the most. It can all be too easy to assume an air of superiority when those in your presence are lost as to what you are talking about or can't compute what you've said to what you deem is a logical conclusion, that is in effect a failing of yourself not the other party. Humility and a gross understanding of the bigger picture is what makes some people excel and others stagnate and even fragment in their own version of reality. Those who forever seek or strive at all costs over and above everyone else are those who command least respect. Those who strive because of the desire to attain more knowledge in what they do are far more human and have an ability to communicate with those all around at any level and treat everyone with respect because the alternative isn't of value.

We need as individuals to have all sorts of questions answered daily that we ponder over or cause us a degree of consternation. It's not the "meaning of life" questions - although that wouldn't go amiss, it's the things that stop us in our tracks such as why has my PC suddenly done that, or I can't access this, or which button do I press or where is 'whatever', and whilst the answer may be easy if we are also at a loss as to find where to ask or who to ask it becomes a real tough cookie and we get well and truly frustrated. Answering a question too is a skill as some haven't the ability to proficiently state clearly and precisely what it is they have been asked, leaving the recipient even more frustrated confused and at times even angry towards everything to do with it. Banks are like that in that they'll answer your query then try and bombard you with endless financial products or review your account or whatever it is and want to pass you on to the household insurance division or some other cretin that you don't even care about.

The Internet is a wild card when it comes to Q and A's, even market research companies want your FREE input, it's basically free, offering a chance to win £250 or an Amazon book token, which is peanuts compared to what the real cost of such information would normally cost. Every question no matter what has a reason behind it, some are far reaching in what the consensus of opinions state others are solitary and pertinent to just that person at that time in that situation and after that it's all redundant information. Our ability to continue needs to have questions answered it's a very important aspect of our lives, as we are met every day with new events and especially if one travels around the world the quantity of questions that one needs answering is amazingly high even if previous savvy makes finding the answers relatively easy. Whatever it is in life we need to know, not the nosey stuff about others lives or celebrity transgressions that's dribble for the dribble minded, but real factual stuff that makes our pathway that much smoother, life more enjoyable and gives us a greater presence in life itself. We must never be afraid to ask a question, and if respect is in order we will get a civil answer, if we get otherwise it says more about the idiot that has answered you that the validity of your question.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

EVERYONE IS A WINNER

Today it seems that everyone and everything is being forever judged by backseat drivers, those who are "critics" or pass judgement on others and situations. The television is littered with experts on a whole manner of subjects spouting off about what should have been done and what could be done and why it went wrong, as if none of us are experts of hindsight. Yet the vast majority of these so called experts do absolutely sod all in their lives to contribute to positive change, they just comment and nothing more. And whilst it is all supposed to give gravitas to the subject matter it is after a time like watching the same old wallpaper dry, it becomes a pure back drop for organised diatribe to fill a column, fill a few minutes on the news, fill in a documentary and for some supposedly 'intellectual' programmes it's almost a public display of mental masturbation, the same old people wheeled out of hibernation and given a 60 min life yet again.

Everyone today has a part to play even if it's just living your own life to the best ability you have. There are of course those that drop by the wayside and become fodder for those that have ideas and thoughts as to what to do with such people and there are those that actually roll their sleeves up and get down to the job of helping them whilst the intellectuals intellectualise and again do sod all about it, which seems to be becoming more and more prevalent today than ever before. Whilst we live in a big world life is getting smaller, our microcosm of an existence is the first and most important thing for us for if we can't make a go of it no one else can do so for us unless it's something not so savoury that we wish not to contemplate like a prison or such institution.

Everywhere we go someone casts aspersions as to what it is or what has been done as if they are the first and last word on the subject which if the truth be known, if they died overnight no one would miss them as their interjection of knowledge is tertiary and purely cosmetic and like all cosmetics they get washed off for a new application every day.  The media have a cosy relationship with critics but as the paper medium is dying is there no wonder why the acerbic bitchy hollow and shallow critics seem to make a life out of finding fault as if there is a prize for pulling down man's own efforts and those that try and those that invest their time and money in to what they do, whilst critics again do sod all, and in fact have little to offer the world other than perhaps at the end of their lives as bone meal. Do they get some perverse pleasure of covering up their own inabilities by knocking others, even if what others do doesn't come off, and it doesn't come off every time for everyone, but the delight and the brusqueness that they wallow in like pigs in shit outlines what weak people they really are.

Society gets along by degrees of communal acceptance, our dearth of variety is out there because people actually try and many go through almost nightmare situations just to get to the initial stages often wracked in problems that emerge as they do from no fault of their own, and of course insipid bureaucracy that springs up run by even more insipid and dull and lifeless people. It's time that there was a cull of the negatively arrogant little peasants who mascaraed as bastions of knowledge and all of understanding to know that in truth it's not them that are loved at all it's those that try and those that have real humanity and compassion within them.

Families too can be your biggest downfall as can your religion, being judged not for whom you are but from their point of view you don't do what they want? So where is the unconditional love? What happened to it? Your happiness is the prime and pole event in the hole of your life, if someone you know or love is happy what more could you want for them. Whether you agree or like what they do is YOUR take on life, to impose your views is cruel, selfish, evil and wicked and so many religions take this righteous mantle but are not even close to God in their motives. The Middle East is a living prime example.

Never ever let anyone put you down, whether you have made a mistake or life hasn't gone as well as you would have wished. You are entitled to be whom you are regardless and even if your professional presentation especially via the fickle and heartless media isn't on the day that bright, don't worry, life has a really way of bouncing back. Nearly all the greatest inventions people in life have failed and won the day and if you look back at what the critics said it's laughable as they are laughable. Stand your ground no one deliberately goes out of their way to be substandard especially when they have invested so much in what it is they do. Don't ever allow a five minute critic whose life will end up in hell to put you down. You are a winner and enjoy the kudos.

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Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012