KINDNESS

We all like to think that we are kind at least to some extent and quickly judge others who we see as "not so kind" but not necessarily mean either. Meanness falls into a category all of its own as it has both deep inner meanings and thoughts as well as exterior repercussions.

The dictionary definition of kindness is :-
"Kindness is the act or the state of being kind, being marked by good and charitable behaviour, pleasant disposition, and concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and recognised as a value in many cultures and religions."
And it further states as an addendum :-
Analysts warn that 'real kindness changes people in the doing of it, often in unpredictable ways. Real kindness is an exchange with essentially unpredictable consequences'.

Kindness is good in every area even if it's not received as such that's not important and if we get upset because what we thought was an act of kindness on our part and it was almost thrown back in our face, then it's still an act of kindness and we should be uplifted accordingly. If we expect a fanfare of gratitude than it says even more about us than the ungrateful who didn't acknowledge the deed of kindness, even though it's nice and the humanitarian aspects of receipt of acknowledgement are always nice to receive. At times we can do kind deeds that have far reaching positive consequences yet know nothing about what our deed has done to many people in their plight of one sort or another.

Most people who are kind have certain traits within, it's not being philanthropic as that's something that is done because it can be done but on a different scale and has different values even if the deed of philanthropy is awesome, as it can be. Many elderly people with wealth often find that they need to "at last" do something meaningful with their accumulated finances and thankfully it is usually put to very good use. But there is a difference as philanthropists can also be mean and not very kind as their inner ideal has been to both view and account for their deeds and often feel the need to see in others in such a light of worthiness based upon their perceptions and feelings. People tend to be predominantly "kind" as people although there are those who just have the odd kind thought or deed now and again but it's usually based on something contrived with them being in the loop or that they know they are going to get very positive and effusive feedback which ups their ego and self esteem etc.

Kind people are usually less judgemental, less abrasive, more understanding, have a better global vision about the bigger picture, are more humble, creative, less stressed and far more stable than those who are not kind, they tend to have more friends - real friends, have more opportunities avail themselves, see more potential and can actually have better health too. Whereas less kind people even business moguls are more dedicated to themselves at whatever cost, and forever put themselves in the "me, me, me," seat in life, even when it comes to giving it has to have a self kudos in their worthiness stakes. Of course kindness isn't financial in many cases it's a giving of your time, knowledge, experience, ability, just listening to those in distress, doing a deed, being thoughtful, helping someone, etc etc, it's the deed of thought and ability over and above self value, which at times goes against cold logic. It's putting yourself out without the "why should I" which many harbour and perpetually find themselves unhappy. There are consequences for the selfless things we do in life and the selfish things we do in life.

Kindness forms an easier pathway in life, people help kind people more than those who show no personal give or movement. And contrary to general thinking kindness is a strength as to not being taken advantage of whereas those staunch bastions of the self get caught out by greed and possibilities of getting something for nothing or free, which is usually a con. Companies are judged upon kindness what is perceived that they do as a value for clients as opposed to pay, pay, pay, service where greed is God and eventually the service is overtaken by competitors because of the absence of the value / kindness factor leaves clients feeling used. We attract around us people who reflect ourselves, so if the majority of our 'real' friends are greedy or mean then we are of that make up too, there are always exceptions but by and large our comfort factors are what makes us decide what's what often over logic unless vast amounts of finance are involved then circumstances play a part, but it still doesn't rest easy with us. Kindness is a choice, like everything we do and say, so it says a lot about us that kindness is inherent or it isn't. Kindness has positve benefits selfishness has negative attributes, you will know yourself which ones you mostly attract.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
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EVERY QUESTION IS A GOOD QUESTION

There's nothing worse than ignorance, it not only means that you don't know something but it has many subliminal effects such as insecurity, lack of confidence and lack of self esteem, etc. Of course it's impossible to know everything and it's also quite OK to be in situations in our lives because of work or circumstances that place us in crowds of people who are more proficient in subjects, areas or a modus operadi than we are, it's just the way it is. There's also nothing wrong with saying "I don't know" either, it's far better than moving forward with others who "do know" and you getting all upset within and trying to fob off everyone with what little you do know or worse still avoiding or evading direct answers so as to show you really don't know. Most people respond well to honesty, if you say you don't know they are more than happy to enlighten you and in fact are quite flattered at times that you have had the openness and decency to admit to them that fact and ask them what it is you don't know, even if it's just a potted version answer you are after to tie you through.

Of course perceptions, intelligence, arrogance, ego, inferiority, stupidity, etc, all play a part in our questioning, but no matter how stupid a question  may seem or ill thought out, to the person asking it it means a great deal otherwise they wouldn't have asked it. And more often than not it's not the highly technical questions that need similar answers those are not the most important ones, it's those niggly little questions that need short answers are the ones that trip us up the most. It can all be too easy to assume an air of superiority when those in your presence are lost as to what you are talking about or can't compute what you've said to what you deem is a logical conclusion, that is in effect a failing of yourself not the other party. Humility and a gross understanding of the bigger picture is what makes some people excel and others stagnate and even fragment in their own version of reality. Those who forever seek or strive at all costs over and above everyone else are those who command least respect. Those who strive because of the desire to attain more knowledge in what they do are far more human and have an ability to communicate with those all around at any level and treat everyone with respect because the alternative isn't of value.

We need as individuals to have all sorts of questions answered daily that we ponder over or cause us a degree of consternation. It's not the "meaning of life" questions - although that wouldn't go amiss, it's the things that stop us in our tracks such as why has my PC suddenly done that, or I can't access this, or which button do I press or where is 'whatever', and whilst the answer may be easy if we are also at a loss as to find where to ask or who to ask it becomes a real tough cookie and we get well and truly frustrated. Answering a question too is a skill as some haven't the ability to proficiently state clearly and precisely what it is they have been asked, leaving the recipient even more frustrated confused and at times even angry towards everything to do with it. Banks are like that in that they'll answer your query then try and bombard you with endless financial products or review your account or whatever it is and want to pass you on to the household insurance division or some other cretin that you don't even care about.

The Internet is a wild card when it comes to Q and A's, even market research companies want your FREE input, it's basically free, offering a chance to win £250 or an Amazon book token, which is peanuts compared to what the real cost of such information would normally cost. Every question no matter what has a reason behind it, some are far reaching in what the consensus of opinions state others are solitary and pertinent to just that person at that time in that situation and after that it's all redundant information. Our ability to continue needs to have questions answered it's a very important aspect of our lives, as we are met every day with new events and especially if one travels around the world the quantity of questions that one needs answering is amazingly high even if previous savvy makes finding the answers relatively easy. Whatever it is in life we need to know, not the nosey stuff about others lives or celebrity transgressions that's dribble for the dribble minded, but real factual stuff that makes our pathway that much smoother, life more enjoyable and gives us a greater presence in life itself. We must never be afraid to ask a question, and if respect is in order we will get a civil answer, if we get otherwise it says more about the idiot that has answered you that the validity of your question.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

THE RELATIVITY OF A BETTER LIFE

Life is how it is, situations are as they are, parameters happen to exist, and yet it's all subject to change, life really does evolve even on a small scale, life can change in an instant from bad to worse or from poor to rich, behind the scenes in life events are happening that we know nothing of. We can leave home one day and never return, nothing is irreplaceable nor indestructible, our molecular structure the commonality of the universe and it's perpetual vibration sees to that. How we see life is exactly how it is, it can't be any other way as we create our own reality, no one else thinks in our minds nor does what we have to do, everything that emanates from us is via our thought process nothing more. The way we talk, smile, interact, laugh is definitive of whom we are, alternatively we can be dull, morose, fearful, glum etc, and that too represents what's going on inside. We live and breathe in our own skin and if we thus decide, and we do decide that life isn't good and acquiesce to those thoughts via our feelings then life will be just that. Whatever we think or feel it comes from within, not from circumstances or anything else even if they are dire, how we react thereafter is down to us. And yes when all goes wrong it is difficult to muster up positive energy but the alternative of wallowing in negative energy is just not worth thinking about either. For some "going with the flow" is all too easy a "cop out" that produces a nothingness in their lives which they then perpetually struggle with.

When we are asked how we are we either generically say "I'm fine or I'm good - thank you" for whether we are or not whoever asked us doesn't want a negative answer nor are they equipped to help us and in reality could be worse off than ourselves. Then we have the options, "could be better" or "could be worse" better than what or worse than what we we never qualify, but it's an understood statement and it's quickly dismissed. When making comparisons of ourselves we predominantly do so against those that are seemingly better off than those who are seemingly worse off, in fact we dismiss those worse off as if it's their own fault for being worse off in the first place. It often isn't and people less fortunate than ourselves can actually have better lives in every area as it's a perception and one that they live within far more comfortably. Most people religious or not like to feel they are "spiritual" but haven't a clue as to what being "spiritual" is, which matters not as if you don't know what something is even if you have a general idea, the bottom line is you don't thus live up to a weak perception of it as it doesn't bear any weight within your mind structure. Our background ideals take residence in our speech but rack up not so well in the reality of our daily living.

Our life is interjected with a whole array of stops and starts and wild thoughts and mundane moments and everything in between, it happens to everyone. Some people have very energetic lives others don't. Those that have energetic lives are always full of excitement and vigour and potential, those that don't always seek tiredness and rest as an ongoing excuse to keep alive. Basically it's the body shutting down from boredom and lack of real initiative and an attitude that's completely lax and thus fires up now and then rather than predominantly all the time. Everything in life is relative, relative to what options exist and where we are placed towards those options being realistic events. Often what we seek isn't seeking us and if we don't come to grips with that thought then we are going to end up on a losing trail. If what we seek isn't there for us then we need to create a product that's acceptable and encompasses what we have to offer, such a move then proves ones own mettle and verve.

If we look at our self as an actor on the stage of life and what we are doing no matter how technically accomplished and creative we are and it doesn't resonate with the audience, it could be that the audience isn't up to our advanced display or maybe just plain thick and stupid, then the writing is on the wall. Repositioning ourselves to target what we do best, and then when we get established change it accordingly, which is what many do works well, as then it's got gravitas and pseudo stamina. Ironically those that once turned you down will then have the confidence to like what you do, such is the fickle nature of life and the relativity of it all. Better exists all around us, we choose not to see it often as our narrow and defined views usually prefer to see better as something more grand than what it is hence so many people are permanently not as happy as they should be.   

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012