OUT OF SORTS WITH LIFE

How we feel about life varies from moment to moment, sometimes we just feel "out of it" for no apparent reason, other times there are a number of issues going through our minds and at other moments we just lose focus on whom we are where we are going and that possibly life isn't offering much in the area of stimulus or excitement. Our reality is what we live in, whatever life is or isn't it's our take on it that makes us think and feel the way we do. Our reality can make our lives or lead us down a road of hard work and toil, it can cloud our judgement, our thoughts, our feelings, our clarity and our overall happiness factor. Whatever we experience we process it via our minds and take whatever course of action we deem appropriate including becoming remorse, miserable and sullen, it's self pity taking over but the bottom line is it's you who has instigated it, no one else. There is no such thing as "well you'd be like this if you had ..... " or "life has made me this way" life has done no such thing, if you want to be selfish and small minded that's a choice you have made, it's not like a virus that you can pick up. Of course mild forms of depression are a different matter, often circumstances and solutions weight heavily and we can't process it all proficiently enough so we go into a dull state of regressive thought, yet here again many induce such a state on to themselves as they actually feel it's a worthy and plausible thing to do which gains a degree of respect, where did that notion ever come from?  Some even think it's smart to say "I'm depressed", "I'm stressed" and throw in the Hollywood drama of responses and toned voice as if it heightens their credibility factor.

There is only one way to deal with life being out of sorts and that is to literally deal with it yourself by not giving in and making yourself feel bad. Everything has a lifespan, both good and bad things come to an end and circumstances change but facing up to adversity is by far the best way to keep your mind, body and soul in pristine condition and enjoy the life ride as opposed to enduring it then harbouring the memories. For those who were seeking an easy option or an answer that's far easier and there are many who perpetually seek the easy way if foolishly, you reap what you sow. For those that "get on" in life and just "do it" the rewards are great as is self confidence, understanding, compassion, drive, happiness and fortitude. If we can't keep a good council then no one else can do it for us no matter how much they want to. What goes on in our heads is ours and only ours and no manner of help, advice or strategies given by others will change how you think unless you want that to happen.

Life is what it is, it doesn't have the ability to make a choice for you or want to make it extra nice because it likes you or wants to "get back" at you because it doesn't, it's not that fragile nor thoughtful. Life is exactly what it is and that's a culmination of endless options and permutations coming together all at once all the time, hence change happens sometimes suddenly other times gradually, but change never the less happens. Life can throw into our pathway a demagogue of  choices all of which are not so savoury, similarly even the good choices have repercussions and strings to them. Our own verve and tenacity pulls us through, bestows a degree of authority, success and knowledge and it goes officially under the banner of experience. Whether we take heed of that experience and decide regardless to enjoy life is down to us, it's not a point of discussion for friends nor anyone else. The more we decide to enjoy and not be a sponge to what's around us the better life will not only become but our whole attitude and the attitude of others around us will improve and before we know it there will be an uplift from where we were to a more positive and refreshing stance in life. If we challenge the good to find credibility with the option of reverting back to bad if it doesn't pan out then you are really pathetic and need to alter your complete ideology about yourself and life. Like attracts like and negativity attracts negativity, positivity attracts positivity, your option, your choice.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

DEEP INGRAINED BELIEFS

Over 85% of our thoughts, feelings, actions, habits stem from our inner self that's almost etched with our stubborn concepts of life, we do much in life without thinking about it,  it just comes automatically and we at times do things almost robotically especially routine or regular stuff. Surprisingly too much of our subconscious though is negative, it swirls around our minds and gets discarded in almost the same instant. Whether we have something substantial to think about or pressing matters that require focused thought or whether we are just routinely going about our daily chores our mind is flushed with both current thoughts and redundant thoughts all battling for attention. That's why at times we think weird or silly or impractical things about something or someone then wonder where it all came from. And whilst we do ponder and deliberate over itemised areas of our conscious we still have running wild as a back drop a whole host of thoughts and related feelings that we literally have to contend with even though we are used to it happening and at times take it all for granted until we feel low then get a headache.  

Many people of religious beliefs suffer from ingrained doctrines and one can hear almost without exception the way they talk almost blinkered to another reality that exists, bringing upon themselves repression, guilt, hardship, lack of love, narrowness, suffering, failure, and much overall unhappiness. Their vision and hearing is selective if not permanently impaired in that they see and hear only what they need to see and hear the rest doesn't exist, hence so much global unrest and thoughtless killings which are anything but Godly. But nearer to home many 'ordinary' people are brought up in an environment of underwhelmed activity and dulled intelligence and their formative years have from the outset been tarnished and for many 'set in' to their personal detriment. It's only education and life that breaks the cocooned mould and allows one to see the bigger picture and understand the microcosm of where they were self shackled into insularity, repression and self persecution.

Some societies also have views put out by their media and some state enterprises too that depict other countries from a re-arranged perspective or even restrict information from other countries. Even becoming more common is Western internal PR which has the Hallmark of deceit being both selective and light on content almost washing over how reality is and how others can't relate to how they are living and how they have been presented by a vision of falsehood. The problem with deep ingrained beliefs such as those prevalent in the Middle East is that nothing good comes about from it, everyone knowing the difference and under pressure living a dual existence saying but not doing for fear of repercussions. Yet at the same time internal pressure builds up like a volcano and once it erupts logic reason and common sense coupled with personal ego let rip and it then becomes a free for all. The likes of the UN or similar play politics and yes it all fails, playing politics doesn't hold any kudos when emotions out rule the self and logic and of course the greed bestowed with undemocratic governments. The same mind that corrupts is the same one that can save and care, it's just that the free will has been tainted by indoctrination of an unstable and unsavoury kind. Where one has free will one has to seek the truth and not a version of it but the real truth and then and this is the hardest part, believe it.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

AWAKEN YOUR SPIRIT WITHIN

Whatever your beliefs, your thoughts, etc, it changes nothing to the physical fact that you have within you a spirit that lives concurrently with every breath you take. The complexity of the human being is astounding, a bio-chemical mass that is intricately put together, or rather grown together to form whom we are. It's not only a miracle in itself even if blase scientific explanations make it sound simple, we are here a complexity of science living in a complexity of science, our world, both the greater physical world and our inner world, the one which is forever private, personal and unique to ourselves. That spark of life that makes us do what we do and fosters a drive to commune with other humans and bring about development, understanding and to a degree in civilised worlds harmony. The human being is by and large a "herding creature" despite the fact that it's vogue for everyone to "want their space" the biggest problem facing many is in fact loneliness and frustration. We need to feel that there is a value to life, a purpose and that there is something ahead of us or that "what's it all about" feeling starts to emerge which quickly destabilises us and that in turn causes endless mental and physical problems. Nothing in life no matter what it is exists in isolation, there are always causes and repercussions.

Our state of mind is everything, forget intelligence, knowledge, as neither automatically mean one has common sense, many an expert or professional in one or more subjects is screwed up personally and that brings life is to a low ebb and renders itself almost worthless. We are all different as people and have different trajectories in the way we want to go forward, some are almost self sufficient within to move on their own accord, some need every bit of help and push and incentive they can get, and the variance in-between runs wide. However what we do have within is both 'happiness' and that 'feel good' factor ability, it's with us whether we use it or not, and it's linked to the brain, so we can decide whether to turn it on or off. Granted bad news makes us feel initially not so excited and good news raises our spirits, but we still have the ability to make decisions based purely on being happy or acceding to circumstances and reacting accordingly and deciding to be sad or unhappy.

We see in advertising the word "spirit" it is commonly used as to denote a heightened experience or feeling, we even say 'low in spirits' or 'they are very spirited people', etc. The dictionary definition of "Spirit" is thus :- "the principle of conscious life; the vital principle in humans, animating  the body or meditating between body and soul" and "the incorporeal part of humans; present in spirit though absent in body". That vital element in our higher life form, the ability we have that can elevate our whole being subject to us allowing it to happen and living with a degree of lightness within. If we at all start to think negatively then our elevated processes are subject to a down grading, if we try our best despite what may beset and befall us to see the good in life then we will succeed, we will overcome. Of course there are those who go on courses and buy DVD's and downloads or read books on our "spirit" hoping that saged words of wisdom by someone else will suddenly propel them forward and all will be well, and of course that won't happen. There's no free lunch and admonishing yourself of doing anything for yourself by yourself it tantamount to sheer stupidity. If you can't think better thoughts then no one can do it for you, it's that simple. The beauty about human life is it has "free thought" (forget religious repression - not God, religion)) what we think is powerful stuff in that we can decide how we live, if we put our thoughts into a negative mode then we will reap a negative harvest if it's in positive mode then the sky is the limit. If you don't believe that then the chances of life becoming better may have already passed you by.
   
For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SEARCHING FOR THE ELUSIVE

Most people have some sort of ideal that they would like to happen or stive for or place to visit or thing to do, even if it's just a whim, it's real in that we register it as something more significant than a passing thought, it resides within our minds and we can draw upon it anytime. Time plays a big part in our wants, when young we are full of them as time marches by we actually accomplish some or what was once prominent is no longer of interest as we've moved on and eventually what we would have wanted fades away into a past thought and more pressing and immediate thoughts overtake us that have more defined residing implications. One thing we don't  want to do is end up being in the "carrot and donkey" situation whereby everything is permanetly ahead of us and we never get to enjoy any of it, ever, in fact we never even get close to it as there is an almost permanent space between what we want and acheiving it. Of course there are reasons why this happens, sometimes our perceptions are out of kilter, sometimes our reality is not properly aligned, sometimes we delude ourselves and sometimes we just don't put enough into getting what we want as it's  etched onto our 'wish list' and never goes any further.

Where we live is the here and now, yesterday no matter what happened is history and whether it was the best day or our lives or we've just dicovered something terrible it was all still yesterday and tomorrow is where we are going to end up. The "now" in our lives is the present, now is very real because it's active and we can move and shake and do things that can alter our whole life ahead of us. We can also sit and so nothing and allow life to take over and drag us along to where it is that we end up, usually somewhere not so savoury. It's imperative that we enjoy life where we are no matter how small that enjoyment may be, for if we judge events in our lives and give them marks out of 10 as to whether they were good or not so good then we will lose the plot and suffer the consequencies. If we decide that life is going to be good to us, i.e. we don't become victims of circumstances we take control of life, then happiness is forever within our grasp even in moments of dire circumstances we will be able to see opportunity, lightness and ways out even if we can't fully engage or commune with that at that single moment in time. Others who just stagnate and dwell in negativity find life predominantly difficult and see few options to exit bad situations and when they do it's full of trepidation.

If we can enjoy the "now" then everything has a place ahead of us, if we can't enjoy the "now" then there isn't much left for us as we will see nothingness in abundance then the "poor old me" attitude will prevale at which point everyone else will leave you well alone. Life is what we make it, no one else can live our lives, they can't think, eat, walk, talk, do for us not matter how much help we get, we still have act it all out. If we outsource our lives to others to take control we are still responsible for all that goes wrong, we can't blame others as we have if effect said "I go with them" so you have agreed to whatever happens good, bad or indifferent, there's just no getting away from the self. However, small moves here and there and an attitude of "I take control of how I feel" works wonders and elevates the self to levels that perhaps many have not enjoyed before or at least a long time. Stop searching, it does mean you can't be inquistitive, but don't negate the present for what may happen tomorrow because by doing that one will be in a constant situation of lowness and then life will literally drag. You have everything within you to be happy, no excuses or muttering that's talk of failure, it's talk of no self respect and if you can't respect yourself no one else will as there aren't any positive parameters for them to go on. Decide on enjoying the "now" it doesn't have to be champagne and flowers and chocolates, but just enjoy what there is or that will be another wasted day in your life, and that wil be the foundation of things to come. 

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE

It may seem strange to say what do you look like, after all we are experts in what we know and feel about ourselves. We know all the little bumps and bits and pieces and which is our best side or maybe we don't even have one. But more than just looking in the mirror and seeing ourselves via a critical eye, others see us as something totally different. With the exception of friends, relatives and possibly those we work with everyone else sees just what they see a person in their own right. Not someone who is slightly overweight or skinny or tall or short, they see a person that they have no other comparison with and one that they have to make an assessment upon. We know who we are but others see a picture that they try and assimilate into a character. Do they look mean, happy, friendly, moodily, surly, quiet, extrovert, approachable, would you trust them, are they dressed nicely or according to the setting of where they are? Do they look presentable, would you like to know them or be associated with them. And would you want to be seen with them with your friends or family etc. Our eyes are the fastest scanners on the planet women have an extraordinary sense of what someone is like, even though they can let themselves down emotionally despite that inner self saying something else.

The thing is do we actually "see" us as others do and the answer is NO we don't. We might come a close second at times but by and large others see a different us, an "us" without explanation or excuses, if we are fat they see a fat person, if we are skinny likewise, if we are badly dressed or unkempt that's how they see us. It doesn't matter whether it's a work picture or a work in the back yard picture, it still tells a story about you and quite an accurate one at that. We exude a status about ourselves that we don't realise, following fashion doesn't denote style, it denotes you "follow" and not develop your own, if you are scruffy it tells a lot about how you prioritise your looks with regards what you do, and in some cases it doesn't matter but then there's the social side to you too and if that looks like it stinks then it probably does. Nothing goes without notice even subliminally we pick up on the nuances and the statements and assess the credentials which are filled in later on - perhaps if one gets any further. Rightly or wrongly this happens many times a day and most people would be surprised to learn if they had to give an account of someone close by or in their office or others give an account of them just what things they would pick up upon.

It doesn't matter if our characters are avant guard, eccentric, dull, conservative, traditional, docile, etc, it will probably suite our overall look as it is an exclamation of us within, although some could well be helped to upgrade as they haven't a clue as to colours or styles etc, however it won't detract from any observation. Our speech, body language further punctuates whom we are as does our eye contact which the is doorway into our world and those talking to us. Of course one could go further but the essence of whom we are resides on that initial glance, and yes we can get it wrong, so if we do we are either reading the wrong messages, seeing something out of kilter or not following up with a general and overall picture, that's why it's so important to get it right from a personal perspective straight away if we are to be judged. Often second chances don't exist and personal excuses running around within your mind are futile as the opportunity to make that first grab contact pales into insignificance of what might have been but wasn't.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others

SHARING - THAT FEELING

One of the greatest feelings you can ever have is that of sharing, sharing moments with strangers via a common understanding of whatever has happened or been seen, even without saying a word. Or most deeply heartwarming is that of the sharing of loved ones and friends a part of your life regardless of the incident or situation. Even sharing a moment together of great distress is a moment in reflection of the gratitude of that person being there at that time that helped so much and brought a real presence of what life and humanity is all about. There's nothing better than being able to share your partner, your children, your parents, your very close friends that at times are even closer than relatives. The feeling that you can say and do and confide and be silly (or worse) in their company and laugh it all off because they not only love you but respect you and deep down like to feel that when you share you share, it's not a conditional relationship it's "anything goes" and you both or all lap it all up for what it''s worth. That warm comforting feeling, that almost smug feeling on invincibility that life just can't get better that material values are at those moments just worthless as they are objects without heart or soul.

It's essential to us all that we can share with others for if we don't or can't then it makes us both hard within and forms a mental barrier that hinders our ability to communicate efficiently and with depth. Sharing with pertinent others also allows us to share with those we don't like or don't trust or those who are in effect down right rude to us too, and stops offence being taken as well as getting upset by others saying either deliberately or out of turn things we find distasteful or possibly hurtful. Sharing creates a brighter mind and elevates life shunning out loneliness and selfishness which can be crippling and debilitating for the self and life. Sharing on a humanitarian basis not the sharing which is "all about me" enables productivity, trust, respect, faith, creativity, opportunity, advancement, purpose and an overall feeling of well being regardless of any overall circumstances. People who share are more apt to "read situations" as they are lighter in their minds and can see troubles and others faults far more than those who keep to themselves everything for a whole range of fears about letting go and thus destroying themselves or worse.

But sharing isn't telling everyone everything about you, it's not being that proverbial "open book"  it's allowing others to 'meld' with you, to feel the real truth of life and whatever else transpires needs a high degree of respect and inner value to come forth, which separates those out who are only in life for what they can get themselves, which is usually nothing. Sharing is the bright outlook, a magnet for good things, that almost permanent smile, that look that everything will be OK if you let it and not drag whatever it is around with you seeking pity or worse sympathy (failure). Sharing is that feeling that life contains more than what we see there is a depth to it that fills us with greatness, humility and at times positive direction and uplifting thoughts, it challenges the morbid and opens the flood gates to aspects of life that we never knew existed. But like attracts like and so again the lesser souls of thought get attracted to the lesser souls of thought and continually then wonder why others have the smiles when they perpetually look glum or scornful.

Sharing is not imposing, it's not being a burden, it's not being taken advantage of, it's not being negative, real sharing is a homogeneous aspect of bonding with certain others in life and combining what's naturally inherent, it's that great "oneness" feeling that humans have built within that explodes and causes genuine concern and laughter in the same sentence. That one can speak without premeditated thought and just say it as it comes, it's a real freedom that very little else can qualify the same effect. And for those that make up endless excuses as to why they haven't any friends (and the list is endless) it says more about them than and that sharing is a step too far in their life or indeed vocabulary. If you can't share you can't live life to the full, everything is contrived and excuse ridden and situationally driven as to what value you place on what and if I do this maybe they'll do that, life accounts in life are people who are failures let loose. If it doesn't come from the heart and you have to justify everything or "I did this they did that" attitude then you will always live below what expectation you would wish to enjoy, and the very sad thing is that it's you who has devised that route.  Sharing denotes with a firm presence of love and warmth towards others that's sincere and generous unlike those that have little sharing ability because there is little else within that's of any value or worth.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

THE BIGGER PICTURE

We predominantly live in two worlds the microcosm of where we live and spend much of our time and rest and have our family, friends and associates see as our hub, regardless of its status, it's our base even if we travel it's still where we go when it all ends. It's a world where we have much control and personal input and it reflects our taste and abilities too, or perhaps lack of them, never the less it's expressional in that it defines us. From that base we store our belongings, personal effects, and build and contact everyone around, it is "home", however you like to define that. And then we have the great wide world, that entity that's made up of billions of other individuals and governments and a whole manner of good and not so good people, it's a hotch potch of developing worlds and struggling worlds, and democratic worlds and demonic worlds and variances in-between. It's a space in which we command a small piece of land for a limited time then it's taken over by others on their journey in life.


Freedom is a right of man, freedom has made the developed world what it is, not perfect by any means but then man is not perfect so we should not look down this avenue of hypothetical conjecture as it will never be. But by and large the developed world and the free world does advance whilst the rest just take the spoils either by donation or for the more more wealthy areas they buy in as they create nothing themselves, whatever the score it's a sad indictment as to their status especially as it's getting predominantly worse. But for those who live and work and play no matter where they are their personal circumstances are shaped by their environment, the laws, traditions, cultures, habits, mind sets, food, education, religion(s), and over many years general temperament. Outlooks from all countries differs because of this and everything has a cumulative effect, immigration of one culture living in another is not necessarily positive. Nor is it transportable nor conducive nor compatible, despite the politically correct morons trying to form a flat earth and make it so, it doesn't work, hence we have had massive proof of it not working over protracted periods of time. It's one thing to celebrate diversity but at the expense of a lack of unity it's a fatal move in every respect. Unfortunately it's those who have suffered from a lack of freedom that tend to abuse freedom when offered and this too causes resentment.

For our own part however, how life unfolds can be a variance that we had never anticipated, it can hold untold areas of highs and lows that we sail through at one point and battle through at another. Our own stories that are rarely told hold so much that moulds and hones us into whom we are right now and that keeps on changing. As a race we are very resilient and have overcome much in the history of mankind, evolution is being made within our own life time as everything is speeding up beyond what history has dictated or any kind of extrapolation for the future. One thing is for sure and that is whatever is happening now we have to live the best we can for the moment or we not only lose our purpose but we lose our ability and grip on life too. Mental health of any country is as important as its infrastructure, for if its stability goes then so does it.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

LEAVING OLD WAYS BEHIND

Does the past ever come back to haunt you or do you frequently recall events or incidents of the past, or indeed have you got a story of the past that you use frequently to bolster your excuses about life and bore people silly with. Are past and possibly present failures haunting you and causing you to believe that things won't ever get better for you or that what you went through could happen again or for some is still going on? Does at times the future look like the present but just projected towards tomorrow almost a deja vu scenario living today in tomorrows space with nothing more happening other than thoughts, wishes and dreams, because this is common to many, in all areas of life. How we view and perceive life is how life will be, even if deep down our wishes and aspirations and possibly desperate thoughts lean towards a greatness that gets us out of where we are now to somewhere better, but still seems to be spring loaded to keep us firmly entrenched into now. Life is not linear and it's not something confined to paper or text books or anything else, what you are living is not only unique but it will not be repeated ever again by anyone else no matter how  similar it may appear. Your destiny is what it is and you are pivotal to how that unfolds. You are the actor, producer and director of your whole life production and also your worst critic too. You are the chief earner (no matter where your stipend comes from), your own accountant, adviser, social observer and you are your own host, whoever you meet befriend, marry, shack up with you are the one and only one to make those decisions. Even if you choose to follow someone else and it all goes terribly wrong, you did it, you must accept the blame or that responsibility, no answering back you did it! (and no mumbling to yourself either)....

Good things in life come to us all, some know it only too well, and others seemingly feel that they are left out of the loop and when things of a goodly nature do surface as they are so overwhelmed by the 'not so good things' that a feeling of exasperation ensues as opposed to gratitude. But the real crux of all of this is if you want good things to happen you have to create them they just don't arrive on their own. You have to be in it to win it, winning the lottery maybe at great odds against but never buying a ticket ensures one thing - you'll never never win not even the smallest prize. Successful people create an environment to succeed against the odds in many cases many a "nice" person just sits back and complains that they tried a few things and they didn't work and give in at that, big difference in both mentality and ability, and also in forward perceptions too. But what has this got to do with leaving old ways behind, everything, because the old thoughts and ways are rarely updated and not in sufficient quantities to make life different and more optimistic. Resting on your laurels is the worst mistake most people make and thus almost subliminally resign themselves to where they are and although they think they make the odd move forward they don't do anything in the real stakes that's going to make any difference unless by pure chance.

The actuality of life the positive or negative moves are controlled from within, "stuff happens" situations and circumstances change purely because everything has a shelf life and whilst some are short some can be lengthy. In the middle of this we are placed and have available to us a whole wealth of things we can do that will elevate ourselves and almost advertise who we are and where we are for without any degree of self elevation there is no platform to work upon. When there is no platform to work upon the default situation is looking back at the past as it's tangible even though it died a death in the annals of our history. What didn't work then can now, what never transpired then might now, it's what we push for that makes the tumblers turn and the countdown get closer to what we either want or find something even better available that was out of our scope of knowledge or understanding.

Cultures and old traditions may seem cute and colourful and edifying, but many are so out of touch with today's age that they cause real harm and damage and can be even evil in intent as such things were outlawed when time moved on and they didn't. Reminiscing about the past, recalling memories, admiring those that did their best for us in the past to give us what we have now is all admirable stuff. But memories don't build futures, and both should be kept separately in their respective places. Trying to use tradition as a way forward is like regurgitating the past and has not only dire consequences but smacks of narrow minds and real problems ahead, often making them insurmountable because today is where you live not yesterday. It's hard for some to leave the past as it can give comfort yet it's a pure false and hollow scenario as it offers nothing in return and often alienates one from not only their surroundings but the reality of life itself.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

THE MULTIPLICITY EFFECT

Decisions, decisions, decisions, should I do this or that, should I go here or there, should I stay in or go out, oh the choices of a single person, the choices that at times they have to wrestle with just to try and keep themselves occupied and do something to try and alleviate that feeling of boredom or stagnation or even reverting to laziness. Of course age plays a very influential part in what one does in life and the experience one has attained to date so those that haven't done much see everything as a feat of dexterity and those that have done a lot see it as an option. Couples see life as something different as they "should" be considering their relationship as "we" or "us" and if you don't you aren't a serious couple or there is a convenience built into the relationship over and above than supposedly common denominator love. Loveless relationships are forever growing hence they never last and when the real thing pops us it just proves that what you were going through wasn't up to much, and in fact you weren't up to much for kidding yourself that what you had was of value, it wasn't.

The Multiplicity effect is more of a status of today where original and free thought is more intermingled with ego, the self and how we appear to others. It's all interlaced with separating our minds between work which keeps us occupied and that free time we covet yet at times lavishly waste on doing nothing but thinking a lot about or worse still want others to think we are busy, occupied, having a great time, enjoying life when it's all quite the opposite. A lot of this life reposting goes on and it's not necessary as over time it literally clouds our thoughts and causes bouts of insecurity and aggravation and even sad or unhappy moments when internal reflection can't think of a solution as to how to change it all. The worst thing we can do and this is common too is to think we are smart and know more about living and life than others do, because with that statement in our thoughts we miss out terribly on companionship, even events that engage us and we lose the ability to "feel" life we just experience it from an intellectual point of view which then leaves us feeling cold and awaiting something else ahead to give us the boost we want. Many people even feel torn between wanting to be with someone for company but be on their own at the same time, and even get really phased out by making arrangements themselves preferring forever impromptu happenings as they then feel free, but sadly still empty within even if a moment has been filled.

Of course we are all different, but our feelings resonate just the same way, we have emotional needs some more than others but we still have them and if those are quashed or not fulfilled then we start to wander off course and hypothesise about everything around us which then we really start to "lose the plot". Often we have an "idea" of whom we are which is our version of whom we are and it could well be very near to that of how others perceive us, but from afar, and it's that "from afar" aspect that really makes a difference between us living with ourselves and our perception of life and us in it and those who like / love us for the bits they know, which is quite a different thing. Living a full life can be a myriad of different things to different people, just because one is exceptionally busy and gets around doesn't mean it's more fulfilling it just means one gets around and is exceptionally busy. The fulfilment aspect is very personal so everything needs to be viewed in perspective and it's all circumstantial too. Being honest with the self is paramount to one's enjoyment of life, even if at times it seems to be slow and dull, nothing is ebullient all the time, and our attitude and what's ahead of us makes a difference to our 'hope' factor as we can then plan or pre-plan where we are going to go as opposed to treading water and looking at a nothingness in front of us.

Life's harmony is all around, we choose to see what we want to see, and where some are oblivious of their surroundings and situations others are absorbing beauty and the vibes of what to them makes life worth living. Some cultures are "cultured" and educated into what is available whereas others are so wrapped up in themselves and taboos that they are predominantly insular and forever being subject to unhappiness and negative events that they attract. For every individual being yourself isn't a "smug statement", that is saying it and then worrying about not being able to carry it out, it's a harmony of the self that allows you to walk amongst the many and not be affected, few have this ability of oversight and feeling. Whatever it is many people can greatly improve their lives by letting go of the self constraints they at times wrestle with in order to try and keep their perceived status, sad because you lose yourself to conjecture and then nothing that remains is that good anymore.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

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EVERY QUESTION IS A GOOD QUESTION

There's nothing worse than ignorance, it not only means that you don't know something but it has many subliminal effects such as insecurity, lack of confidence and lack of self esteem, etc. Of course it's impossible to know everything and it's also quite OK to be in situations in our lives because of work or circumstances that place us in crowds of people who are more proficient in subjects, areas or a modus operadi than we are, it's just the way it is. There's also nothing wrong with saying "I don't know" either, it's far better than moving forward with others who "do know" and you getting all upset within and trying to fob off everyone with what little you do know or worse still avoiding or evading direct answers so as to show you really don't know. Most people respond well to honesty, if you say you don't know they are more than happy to enlighten you and in fact are quite flattered at times that you have had the openness and decency to admit to them that fact and ask them what it is you don't know, even if it's just a potted version answer you are after to tie you through.

Of course perceptions, intelligence, arrogance, ego, inferiority, stupidity, etc, all play a part in our questioning, but no matter how stupid a question  may seem or ill thought out, to the person asking it it means a great deal otherwise they wouldn't have asked it. And more often than not it's not the highly technical questions that need similar answers those are not the most important ones, it's those niggly little questions that need short answers are the ones that trip us up the most. It can all be too easy to assume an air of superiority when those in your presence are lost as to what you are talking about or can't compute what you've said to what you deem is a logical conclusion, that is in effect a failing of yourself not the other party. Humility and a gross understanding of the bigger picture is what makes some people excel and others stagnate and even fragment in their own version of reality. Those who forever seek or strive at all costs over and above everyone else are those who command least respect. Those who strive because of the desire to attain more knowledge in what they do are far more human and have an ability to communicate with those all around at any level and treat everyone with respect because the alternative isn't of value.

We need as individuals to have all sorts of questions answered daily that we ponder over or cause us a degree of consternation. It's not the "meaning of life" questions - although that wouldn't go amiss, it's the things that stop us in our tracks such as why has my PC suddenly done that, or I can't access this, or which button do I press or where is 'whatever', and whilst the answer may be easy if we are also at a loss as to find where to ask or who to ask it becomes a real tough cookie and we get well and truly frustrated. Answering a question too is a skill as some haven't the ability to proficiently state clearly and precisely what it is they have been asked, leaving the recipient even more frustrated confused and at times even angry towards everything to do with it. Banks are like that in that they'll answer your query then try and bombard you with endless financial products or review your account or whatever it is and want to pass you on to the household insurance division or some other cretin that you don't even care about.

The Internet is a wild card when it comes to Q and A's, even market research companies want your FREE input, it's basically free, offering a chance to win £250 or an Amazon book token, which is peanuts compared to what the real cost of such information would normally cost. Every question no matter what has a reason behind it, some are far reaching in what the consensus of opinions state others are solitary and pertinent to just that person at that time in that situation and after that it's all redundant information. Our ability to continue needs to have questions answered it's a very important aspect of our lives, as we are met every day with new events and especially if one travels around the world the quantity of questions that one needs answering is amazingly high even if previous savvy makes finding the answers relatively easy. Whatever it is in life we need to know, not the nosey stuff about others lives or celebrity transgressions that's dribble for the dribble minded, but real factual stuff that makes our pathway that much smoother, life more enjoyable and gives us a greater presence in life itself. We must never be afraid to ask a question, and if respect is in order we will get a civil answer, if we get otherwise it says more about the idiot that has answered you that the validity of your question.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

WHEN FAILURE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND

For many people the word failure sends a shudder down their spine, it brings a cold and embarrassing chill to what they have to say. Yet failure is a natural part of life, it's a part that makes us strong, resilient and above all successful too. Every day scientists and researchers fail in trying to find a solution or a cure, eventually they find an answer that works. The telephone, light bulb, penicillin, cancer drugs, the aero engine, even none stick frying pans all emanated after years of constant failure. So why are so many fickle people so frightened of the word or judge others who try and fail yet they themselves sit smugly doing nothing so not to fail?  Why is it that the "gatekeepers" (who are the real failures) the secretaries / HR / the employment agencies so fearful and reticent about it all that their own insecurities and sheer ignorance holds up the free flow of real talent that's out there and allows mediocre people to get jobs that produce mediocre results. The dearth of lowly intelligent management who whilst may be acceptable at what they do have no foresight and are far too fearful of employing anyone who would shake their own position.

Applying vision to someone who hasn't any is always a problem and even successful organisations are staffed by those who again may effectively do what they have to do well but in the process stifle what could have been or might have been far better had creativity been allowed to enter into the scenario. Short sightedness, tempered outlooks, lack of real vision, fearful of breaking the mould, employing the "if it's not broken don't fix it" mentality, all of which is totally wrong. Staid, dull, monolithic structures, bureaucracy which is always run by dull people, and so it goes on. Many major companies pride themselves on units or adjuncts where they employ people who supposedly "think out of the box" and some are brilliant yet the majority are just mildly creative which flatters those that take them on and falls short of what real "out there thinking" contains. Real "out of the box" thinking often comes in packages that most couldn't recognise if it was stamped  "out of the box thinking" on the outside of it.

Learning is a series of failures for if everything went correctly when something goes wrong we wouldn't have a clue as to what to do or indeed do not act efficiently in rectifying it all. Even in accidents we find out why the cause happened and take steps to help identify and reduce the situation happening again. Those that never try because they are frightened of failing are dull and produce nothing of value, our skills and mind sets help others not go down the same pathways and if we keep failure to ourselves and not share the experiences then it says a lot about us and what insular and mean people we are. Granted there are times when failure can be more than embarrassing, it can cause loss of life, mayhem, turmoil, etc, but that is literally a part of life and something we must face up to and not shy away from, nor listen to the throng of people on the side-lines casting aspersions and shouting, for such people are the fodder of real failure and are of worthless content trying to make themselves feel important whereas they are of no consequence in life at all.

Those that have had a whole heap of dead ends, things that have not gone well or worked out, things that have met with high resistance, things that others cannot get to grips with and things that have on the outside seemingly failed are always those that in the end do well. They overcome the dull and pathetic and pseudo intellectuals who have no creativity just the ability to churn over in their mind potentials and possibilities yet it never really works out. Interesting people, people who can laugh, enjoy life, people who are stable are those who have endured, entertained difference, pressed on ahead in dark corridors, gone ahead where others have dithered, had a go, put their heart and soul into it all and just dared to be themselves and not be influenced or clouded by the mass dullness of everyone else. If you can't entertain failure you can't entertain life.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM

The biggest problem you'll ever have to face is yourself, it's you that will have to deal with whatever besets and befalls you. It's you that will have to cope, pick up the pieces, come to terms with, move, shake, rattle, roll and whatever else lies ahead of you. It's you who will have to come to terms with whatever financial situation you have to face, whatever health problems you or those around you will have to face and any other problems that arise whether you are directly involved or not, how you react it is solely down to you. End of story. No matter how much weeping and sobbing and wailing and any other selfishly devised outbursts you start to do it will not effect one single bit what has happened and will only ward off the time you have in front of you to live a great life in spite of it all. Forget selfish traditions and group family moanings they solve nothing, it's all self indulgent and mean, and if someone has died then it makes it worse for if they loved you then they certainly wouldn't want you to be unhappy after they have left (unless they were selfish too). Yet at times the traditional drama that people go through is not a sign of respect nor anything else. Respect is for the living, not after the event when it's all too late. Showmanship at times of bereavement i.e. to make it seem you respect the dead by looking dead yourself is beyond being pathetic and takes the limelight of the bereaved so what does it make you or where does it place you as a selfish moron of the highest order.

Of course drama is part of some cultures as it telling lies and being deceitful, sad to say but it's true. Most of yesterday's cultures and traditions other than the enactment of certain colourful routines are retrograde and hold back and cause scorn, heartache, misery and effort just for the sake of it as none of it serves a purpose anymore. Today's society isn't any longer compatible with much of the past, like old computer software it doesn't work anymore, although there are many that go to great lengths to try and make traditions work for fear that if they don't they will lose something about themselves, and this eternal "my culture" aspect, which no one cares about but the self. The basic elements of humanity are love, truth, compassion and understanding which is across the board no matter where one resides or where one emanates from.

What we do in life and what happens to us can vary enormously, one day everything is going swimmingly well another it is completely the opposite, how we go about our daily life is down to us whether we choose to tell lies or be dishonest or deceitful is again a matter of choice, no excuses. We can apportion blame which there is a "blame culture" today, whether we get away with it or not doesn't hide the fact that it's us that's made the statement and that doesn't negate the truth. The more we do in anyone direction is how we tend to steer ourselves and subliminally once we engage on a certain route unless we put ourselves in check then we have embarked on a course that will or will not enhance our future. Our future life is facing challenges today that we had never dreamed of or thought would happen and areas of the past start to rear their ugly head, regrets and remorse are far too late, the present is what it is. That's not to say one can't alter ahead what could be in store - should we play our cards right - but what has been dictated by the past is what it is. We always feel that by a certain time we could be this or that and often that's the case but sometimes not quite as we anticipated and not always on our terms or not what we thought it would be like. Everything we do in life has to be processed by the self, how we react or come to terms with it is solely down to us.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

THE FUN FACTOR

Fun, happiness, joy, laughter, love, grace, humility, presence, future, worth while, friendship, humility, excitement, purpose, and so it goes on, all buzz words which help our lives go forward with a richness and a feeling of whom we are and everyone else around us. It helps put into place life as it is and not how it's spewed out and manufactured by the press and media to sell more copy, they can't help it, it's almost a drug habit they can't kick. But it's important that we get on and laugh and definitely NOT harbour negativity at ANY cost whatsoever. Negativity creates doubt and definitely stifles creativity at every level. It produces depression and is the start of so many self created illnesses. Negative thoughts place out of perspective life as it is so that we get caught up in a whirlwind of extraneous thoughts and feelings none of which do us any good nor produce positive results or outcome. Everything looms large and eventually just gets us down and then we revert back to the negative spiral again. But for those who are already saying to themselves "but it's easy to say but try doing it" or words to that effect, that's just where you are letting yourselves down and smugly allowing self manipulation by placing excuses (possibly as you always have done) ahead of yourself so as not to make any changes and feel somehow more worthy of joining others in the lake of negativity.

There's no doubt about it that being positive and fun makes a world of difference to ones life, regardless of any current situation or circumstances that one may be facing or going through. Negative people tend to feel that there is a worthiness and purpose to be negative and always harp on about negative states or the state of the country or world or finance and thus tend to listen to negative people more often and commune with them on a mutual pity level, which is not only pathetic but identifies them as people of low calibre and who plod through life as opposed to walking firmly. Like attracts like and therefore there is usually a dichotomy of people who have fun positive friends  or dull dismal friends who may or may not laugh but it's all so short lived.

With negative people there's always a caveat as to why they can't or shouldn't or won't or it's them (whoever them are) or they won't allow it (whoever they are too), and so it goes on, it's exasperating conversation and soon becomes so pedestrian that one wants to give up on them. In everything we do there must be an element of fun and satisfaction, there must be an onward purpose and a payback to life otherwise there just ends up a bottleneck of work which is a one way stream and that causes untold problems. Fun makes life go forward even for those who "fight for a cause" there is still an element of fun and fit for purpose otherwise the will to proceed will be forever daunting and at times depressing. A bright and clear mind always finds a way out, there's always potential, there's always hope and real hope not just a bystanders version of it nodding but do nothing, and furthermore those who are bright and fun always get by far more help from others, as they can see that light of potential and with gratitude within. Negative people have little of either and tend to hop from one trough to the next and then when one obstacle is over the next looms large and they reflect that, something others definitely don't want to be associated with it.

Fun people are those who wear fun on both the inside as well as the outside and aren't "two faced", so many people appear fun but it's just a mask that they act out to hide and overcome the facade that they adeptly wear as a guise. The guise only fools themselves even if others are initially taken in as they have to live within their skin, no one else can ever do that. Being "at one" with yourself allows greatness and goodness to permeate through ever poor so that there are no contrived responses or play acting events to try and uphold what isn't you. When everything is naturally fun and wholesome it just works, sometimes not the way one wanted it to, but it still works and often for the better.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012