LEAVING OLD WAYS BEHIND

Does the past ever come back to haunt you or do you frequently recall events or incidents of the past, or indeed have you got a story of the past that you use frequently to bolster your excuses about life and bore people silly with. Are past and possibly present failures haunting you and causing you to believe that things won't ever get better for you or that what you went through could happen again or for some is still going on? Does at times the future look like the present but just projected towards tomorrow almost a deja vu scenario living today in tomorrows space with nothing more happening other than thoughts, wishes and dreams, because this is common to many, in all areas of life. How we view and perceive life is how life will be, even if deep down our wishes and aspirations and possibly desperate thoughts lean towards a greatness that gets us out of where we are now to somewhere better, but still seems to be spring loaded to keep us firmly entrenched into now. Life is not linear and it's not something confined to paper or text books or anything else, what you are living is not only unique but it will not be repeated ever again by anyone else no matter how  similar it may appear. Your destiny is what it is and you are pivotal to how that unfolds. You are the actor, producer and director of your whole life production and also your worst critic too. You are the chief earner (no matter where your stipend comes from), your own accountant, adviser, social observer and you are your own host, whoever you meet befriend, marry, shack up with you are the one and only one to make those decisions. Even if you choose to follow someone else and it all goes terribly wrong, you did it, you must accept the blame or that responsibility, no answering back you did it! (and no mumbling to yourself either)....

Good things in life come to us all, some know it only too well, and others seemingly feel that they are left out of the loop and when things of a goodly nature do surface as they are so overwhelmed by the 'not so good things' that a feeling of exasperation ensues as opposed to gratitude. But the real crux of all of this is if you want good things to happen you have to create them they just don't arrive on their own. You have to be in it to win it, winning the lottery maybe at great odds against but never buying a ticket ensures one thing - you'll never never win not even the smallest prize. Successful people create an environment to succeed against the odds in many cases many a "nice" person just sits back and complains that they tried a few things and they didn't work and give in at that, big difference in both mentality and ability, and also in forward perceptions too. But what has this got to do with leaving old ways behind, everything, because the old thoughts and ways are rarely updated and not in sufficient quantities to make life different and more optimistic. Resting on your laurels is the worst mistake most people make and thus almost subliminally resign themselves to where they are and although they think they make the odd move forward they don't do anything in the real stakes that's going to make any difference unless by pure chance.

The actuality of life the positive or negative moves are controlled from within, "stuff happens" situations and circumstances change purely because everything has a shelf life and whilst some are short some can be lengthy. In the middle of this we are placed and have available to us a whole wealth of things we can do that will elevate ourselves and almost advertise who we are and where we are for without any degree of self elevation there is no platform to work upon. When there is no platform to work upon the default situation is looking back at the past as it's tangible even though it died a death in the annals of our history. What didn't work then can now, what never transpired then might now, it's what we push for that makes the tumblers turn and the countdown get closer to what we either want or find something even better available that was out of our scope of knowledge or understanding.

Cultures and old traditions may seem cute and colourful and edifying, but many are so out of touch with today's age that they cause real harm and damage and can be even evil in intent as such things were outlawed when time moved on and they didn't. Reminiscing about the past, recalling memories, admiring those that did their best for us in the past to give us what we have now is all admirable stuff. But memories don't build futures, and both should be kept separately in their respective places. Trying to use tradition as a way forward is like regurgitating the past and has not only dire consequences but smacks of narrow minds and real problems ahead, often making them insurmountable because today is where you live not yesterday. It's hard for some to leave the past as it can give comfort yet it's a pure false and hollow scenario as it offers nothing in return and often alienates one from not only their surroundings but the reality of life itself.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
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BEING ADULT ABOUT LIFE

So many arguments are caused by juvenile thoughts and pure selfish feelings. The majority of relationship breakdowns are because of selfishness more than anything else oh, and of course a real lack of true love. We talk about love quite a lot there are films and TV programmes splattered all around us about love stories usually those that go wrong as hysterical drama can be interjected in to it. Happy endings rarely move an audience even if a few tears are shed towards the end. Do we know what real love is all about once the initial infatuation calms down and life starts to wash away the clouds of bliss as the odd storm brews up in the distance? Do we look differently at our partner and think they could be better or do better or that we haven't after all that much in common for the long run?  Of course these are failings in us and our ego and our attitude and our self esteem and the self itself, it's usually about our own self that we let ourselves down terribly with, not someone else, although we don't usually like to admit it. Our temperament can be up and down like a yo-yo and thus we have mood swings that reflect that up and down feeling as we tend to let everyone know for that subliminal cry for attention to try and zest things up again. It rarely works as after a while everyone knows you for who and what you are, which doesn't mean you are a bad person nor anything else, just dull and predictive. We can also be forever analytical which then removes much of what life is all about as we tend then to miss the crux of what it really all means and the nuances that can't easily be categorised.

Alternatively we can can be one of those self created morons that is politically correct, and there is no legislation pertaining to such so it's a self made stance which means you are dancing on dangerous ground as it's all based upon your perception not the reality of others. If you harbour political correctness as a means of moving forward the chances are you won't, as you'll forever be frightened to speak your mind or allow others to do the same so nothing predominantly happens. It's often a failure mentality and depicts one of lesser strength, if others get upset then let them deal with it, it's not for to you offer yourself as some self proclaimed bastion of society that no one wants and in the process holding everyone back. Understanding the bigger picture is always a good thing yet few ever do they never rise to that thought process yet then wonder why they are forever in the doldrums seeing life as an obstacle in itself and not fair and wallowing in the detritus because they can never seem to float to the surface.

Selfishness is a pre-cursor to many problems in life, loneliness, lack of relationships and commitment, mental instability, distrust, unhappiness, warped thoughts, self denial, fear of spending too much time with others - no matter how close they may be. Zealously enhanced distance relationships via email, Facebook, Twitter or other social media platform, quirkiness, fragmented life, etc, it's all to do with an almost pivotless sense of me, me and of course me. We have options and choices so we take the route that we think is applicable to us, rightly or wrongly who knows. Nothing is without consequences good or not so good, and in the overall view it matters not to others as it's our own personal life and we migrate towards those that share our view and personality even if it is from afar and see only small chunks we empathise with. Actually living in close proximity with our distant contacts could lead to everything we like about someone come toppling down in an instant such is our cultivated relationship that even if deeply motivated and concurrent on many topics is never the less fragile in context.

Understanding ourselves and not trying to think another way over the reality of whom we are makes for a greater understanding and a degree of increased happiness as we know why things are as they are and not ponder upon such variables then wonder why, again brushing over on the reality side of events. Our "love walk" should see us through, for where our "love walk" is evident so is that little voice telling us what is right or not so, and yes we do have "override" we can latch on to, but override is just that and it's tantamount to to lying to ourselves, which is the last thing we should do. We can hypothesise until the day we die yet it won't change the truth even if we don't really want to believe there is one. We can try and be another Peter Pan and pretend that we are not getting older and that life in the main is for others, but it isn't, we are part of getting old and life does zoom by even if our Dorian Grey attitude temporarily makes us feel better. At some stage everything comes home to roost and at some stage we look upon life and not see what we have done but where are we now, for that is where we live and breath.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012