DATING SITES - AN ENTERTAINMENT IN ITSELF

Even the top dating sites today and there are dozens of new versions springing up every week boast of only about 5% success rate so what happens to the other 95% who join, who are they, what are they and what are they looking for, surprisingly it's not always a date. Dating sites are becoming more personal versions of the social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter but with a more intimate twist, the myth that dating sites are specifically honed to producing a mate are just that, the law of averages puts all that firmly into place as does the fact that "personal chemistry" is something that can't be commercially applied to data. From the outset there's always a fascination about dating sites in that people whether coupled or single like to know or feel that "others" like or find them attractive, it's a boost to the ego, so if you have an ego that's pulsing then you are already a candidate for those who "just like to see" or "find out" for no other reason than you can. The beauty about personal dating sites is that it's there 24/7 and you can follow your "You have mail" replies from your mobile / iPad / tablet or PC whenever you like, it's always exciting to see that someone somewhere has responded even if it isn't that brilliant a response.

The trouble with most people is that they have perceptions about themselves and of course, ego, anger, skepticism, arrogance, fear, failure and degrees of down right stupidity, as well as a varying level of intelligence that take the edge of accuracy, however that very essential if not crucial thing called "common sense" needs to be in abundance. Either have it or you don't your educational levels mean nothing if you haven't got common sense. So many people get so easily flattered and taken in by the first few words of endearment that they fail to see past them and respond accordingly, from that moment on the other person knows you are  potential "game". And even if you respond with a crude and acerbic reply because that's the crude acerbic person you are it gives them a challenge to try and woo you over, and that often works too, in fact crude acerbic people are their own downfall, but there again so is arrogance and that has no base levels and the pit is bottomless.

Not having a partner or able to find one is of course a prime factor in joining a dating site, but then so is loneliness (which is perhaps the biggest reason) and there onwards finding "like minded" others at whatever level is entertaining, and game for what you can develop thereafter. You can liaise with your dating sites and "contacts", especially when you get home late, get ready for bed and in the privacy of your own home chat about whatever you like until you decide enough is enough until tomorrow.  As long as you pay your monthly fee (after all it's a commercial concern not a benevolent site for your best interest) off again you go until tomorrow. It fulfills a purpose, it passes away the time it does give a degree of emotional satisfaction even if hollow in nature and the chance to commune with 1000's of potential people is exciting. For some On Line Dating is a way of life, their whole focus shifts from being lonely to being reclusive in that they now rarely don't go out at all so fixated are they with strangers and possibly established contacts exchanging degrees of correspondence.

In the On Line world there are the liers, cheats, sex addicts, the deceitful, scammers, chasers, fetish merchants, game players, entertainers, the lost, the bewildered, psychopaths, the unstable, the neurotic, weirdos, the desperate, egotists, freaks, some nice people, and of course the lonely as well as those who are there to pray on the unsuspecting and feeble to solicit money by their hard luck stories - and it works well. All this 95% latter group of people make up who are there on the dating site presumably all having inaccurately filled in the questionnaire seeking a perfect mate. Unfortunately people aren't even honest with themselves so from day one there is a discordance with whom they are and what they seek, based predominantly on a modified ideal as opposed to an honest base and accurate self. The chasers seek to chase compliant contacts but never want to meet - this gives them the buzz, this accounts for many transactions, even those who often don't really like each other correspond because they can and it gives some degree of mutual support even though much of it is lies and empty content. It's better to have a few people "on the go" than nothing, there's nothing worse than going to your mail box" to see it empty or not signed to say "you have mail". It's a psychological thing that many in particular women need to have to feel involved, even if disappointment is the on going feeling. However after a while disappointment turns into a "game" and that game becomes for many habitual and one then turns most into an expert in answering and reading into profiles and messages which even further on takes the "Dating Game" to another level. It's almost now like "on Line Gaming" where skill in judgment takes over from sincere passion and lust is but a point scoring bonus.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SEPARATING OURSELVES FROM CIRCUMSTANCES

We all fall victim at times to circumstances as they temporarily take over our own will and we thus become an alien to oureselves, this can happen when we have a death in the family, made redundant, diagnosed with a serious condition, have financial problems, etc, they affect directly our way of life and hit hard on our emotional stability. Of course we are not all the same and some people seem to worry about everything whereas others seemingly worry about very little and take whatever comes as it is and deal with it accordingly. There's no right or wrong we are who we are and administer areas of our lives the best we can. Sometimes things stagnate or get worse because we are ignorant and fail to seek help or assistance or advice which is what many do to their detriment. Ego, pride, self smugness etc, tends to creep in and we scorn knowledge that others may have built upon in similar circumatances of others and the possibilities that exist to ease the burden or relieve the mental stress that one has swimming around in their heads. Too many people walk around with the "I know best" attitude not knowing that the options thay have have just been negated because of the lack of clarity and forsight of the self. Carrying problems around in one's mind is not smart, it's not respectable, it's not a pennance for anything of the past, it's not necessary, it doesn't change anything, it doesn't promote anything, it doesn't justify anything, it doesn't preserve your identity and deeds, it doesn't help with the future, it doesn't contribute to your friends and family, it doesn't gain sympathy it grates on others as they look upon you as pityful, it's not a prelude to better things in the future, in short despite the severity of whatever it is you harbour it doesn't lead anywhere positive.
Our attitude towards life is paramount to how we live it, it's the base of all of our thoughts and feelings coming together to present whom we are to the world, our "Shop window", and whilst what lies behind that "Shop window" can vary enormously if the shop window looks and is shoddy, you know yourself you'll walk right on by. Whether it's raining, sunny, cold, snowy, etc, we can choose to be happy and bright, if we once start off the day with "Ohhhhh it's raining" then that's predominantly how the day will be and any other aspect related condition we have chosen will allow our feelings to match it. Those that look at the weather, see its raining and accordingly go forward determined to enjoy the day despite those obnoxious people they dislike at work, and missing the bus, and having to put up with the temporary office bercause of refurbishment, and things not being where they should be, and the party they are going to that evening that they are not too excited about, etc, the day is good and bright and yes they can smile and be civil to anyone regardless of how they are to them.

Failure, fear, loneliness, depression, etc, stem from taking hold of the circumstances around us and absorbing them like a sponge, we internalise them not seeing beyond the now and cogitating upon circumstantial aspects of life that could change or alter in a flash or offer solutuions and alternatives that because we don't know of we revert inwardly with a melancholic feeling. Habits and family traits are often a basic cause of this, the tendencies are if our families are negative then we have a chance to be negative too, and the opposite if our families are positive towards life in general then so are we. However, we all have choices and can directly change towards a positive mode should we really want to. Like "Soap TV" everything revolves around trivia or someone else's problems and smallmindedness, for without smallmindedness there wouldn't be a plot. It's one thing to watch such on television but many live in a smallminded arena in life and their lies their downfall and lack of real potential. It's almost failure in the making, with you feeding the ingredients towards it.    

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

ADVANCED LIVING

How we get on in life can at times be something of a lottery in that what we expected can suddenly just go out of the window and we are left standing pondering about what to do next and more to the point how do we go about what to do now as our mind goes blank. We like to think we have the potential to stave off "negativity" in our lives or that perhaps we are resourceful and should events arise of a not so nice nature we can cope. Sadly for many when the Tsunami of life really does hit then it's a real shock, whether it's health, relationship, financial, work related or whatever else it can be the  mind takes a hit and the aftershock can be devastating, knocking one's self esteem and self security into a frenzy of  nothingness. However we plan our future it's a bit like flying an aircraft, we need to make course corrections en-route otherwise we will not arrive at our destination. Many people get to where they are in life by default, sometimes where they end up is not quite that accessible and it renders life more of an existence of living as opposed to a place which is harmonious and joyful and brings with it that feeling of excitement every day they get up.

Wealth has very little to do with enjoying life even if it brings with it opportunities or the availability of more options. As hard as it may appear or seem or not wanted to be understood is that our happiness is within us, what we can't achieve or our ego or desire can't access causes us untold inner mayhem that plays on our mind as an almost subliminal programme that is constantly replaying itself thus taking the edge off of life. Our success is always relative, what others appear to have as success is but a culmination of circumstances which produce a result, and just because those circumstances of the self are not of a similar proportion does not mean anything less. Our own personal ideology and take on life plays a vital part too in how we both assess life and how we thus accordingly respond to it, so we can in effect be the cause of our own downfall of short comings in life. It's at this point that many people make an assessment of themselves one which is grossly unfair or even based on a fallacious substance but never the less causes them to feel out of kilter with life and what they think they should feel like and it then starts to bring them down to a level which is purely self induced.

Our personal stability is the vital link to happiness, contentment, fulfillment, purpose, definition and that fabulous feeling that we can get that life is good regardless of circumstances and what is displayed on the news. If we don't have this and many don't then life is forever a series of ups and downs and struggles and wishes and thwarted dreams and disappointments and let downs and then we live in a cloud of consternation which makes our journey a troublesome one. Once we reach this stage others around us start to appear on predefined levels based upon where we are and that has negative values that we find difficult to come to terms with and they too see that we are not fully connected with them and thus relationships start to wane a little if at times diminish into something of a valueless entity. No on should live for the sake of it, feeling wanted and needed is part of the human condition and if we can't accommodate others in our lives then we will render our own purpose on a substandard level.                    

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

MENTALLY HURTING

Everyone goes through a "down time" or two in their lives it's just the way it is, stuff happens, situations arise, outside circumstances change, parameters are no longer stable and whatever it is for us it affects us mentally over time. Initially it can be a shock or it can just escalate into something of its own making. What makes all of it even worse is that when it affects others they tend to react in ways that are seemingly 'out of character' although deep down such traits were possibly always there but until a certain moment of mayhem triggered them off lay dormant. Unfortunately when we are thrown into an alien situation, that the proverbial spanner is thrown into the works and the cogs come to an immediate grinding halt and there's that awful smell of heated metal, it throws us off guard too and even our own self is compromised. It renders our world almost incomprehensible in that we feel we are suddenly in a bubble and there is the world and us, it immediately opens up a temporary feeling of helplessness and it's a destabilising feeling and one that's both lonely, isolated and full of endless mind talk, ponderings and swimming with potential solutions which come and go like the tide itself.

Being mentally hurt not only affects our minds but our whole body too, it literally causes all sorts of aches and feelings of lethargy and takes away any impetus and desire to progress even though deep down this is what's needed and required. It's a strange feeling of isolation as you then look at everyone around you from a different perspective, it's not that they are right nor wrong but none hit the nail on the head as to the cause or any acceptable solutions as it's all a version brought to mind by others and missing detail, clarity, acumen and reality as to it all being feasible. Walking alone in the mist of every day or trying to find refuge for the mind and soul to regenerate is a feat in istelf, clutching on to self esteem and upholding the self virtue is an onward struggle against the endless mind chatter and debased status that lingers around. At times living is like a job in itself, something which cannot be explained to others nor does one want to anyway as it's all so exasperating and infuriating and like juggling with knives, one false move and that's it. Nothing fatal but yet another wound to add to the rest already there and one wound more is one feels the last straw on the camels back. But it's not.

When the mind is circulating in an near overload capacity tempers are quick to emerge, one's self cool is permanently being tempered and restricted otherwise an outburst will flare up and the self regrets will be more than the outburst itself. Where life has two sides the good and the bad where once there wasn't a demarcation line, now there is, where there are those for you and against you where once there wasn't such a thing, where narrow mindedness and understanding have taken opposite corners, and where everything said and done has to be accounted for both within and without. It's a solitary world that spins on its own axis and days and seasons merge into one as if the future is but a dark corridor of dampened potential that holds little hope, although at times hope is all that is seemingly left. But the good news is that it does all change, and like everything that's time related it does become a memory, it becomes part of the past where it's rightfully been consigned. Those intangible events now have solutions, those impenetrable areas of impregnable thought have but dissolved into a new and different understanding. The fears have melted away in a state where new parameters exist and base lines have a new and brighter stance. Where turmoil has given in to a happier resolution that all can join in and take part in a camaraderie that's been absence for so long.

Life regeneration is happening to everyone, but it's only when we take it on board do we find that it actually works, for 'letting go' elevates us from the 'now stranglehold' and breaks those invisible but ugly ties that have for so long been draining the inner self like a vampire constantly flying around looking for blood. When one frees up the 'self' there isn't anything that can touch it as it rebounds all the negativity from those that throw it around trying to gain points and ground at the expense of small and narrow mindedness, this all whithers away and becomes futile. The seemingly unfairness of life isn't what it is, we have no guarantees nor templates, it's us humans that react accordingly and do what we do rightly or not. But everything has its season, its time, and then it fades as other things take over with renewed ground and it's this hope and knowledge that will spur the ability to keep going despite the perceived onslaught in life. The hidden 'enemy' of unreason that listens to  no one but itself dies by its own hand. It all fades away and it is then that one realises that what was something of an ongoing turmoil is now a past memory as life has moved on and better things are being enjoyed.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

HELP WHERE IT IS NEEDED

There's nothing wrong with real honest help when needed, it goes a long way to assisting us in our quest and journey in life. Whether it's financial, gardening, with our IT, knowledge, experience, it matters not, when we need help we need help. Of course help can be sub-divided into what is essential and expedient and what just lightens the load or makes things a bit easier, and the difference can be quite substantial. Help commercially costs and some companies actually make their money on help or support more than the product, a bit like printers where cartridges or at least the branded ones can almost cost the same as the printer itself, all carefully worked out - a sprat to catch a mackerel. Very little in the business world is genuinely free, not that it can be after all there are costs involved but the difference between offering a service and greed is getting far less, and often the service isn't as competent as it once was.

There is the type of help too that's benevolent, that we do to help others or give assistance or offer support because we think that whatever it is is worthwhile or the person / people we support are worthy of our kind deed. Giving is actually very cathartic, not to everyone as the mean see life differently, but the vast majority of the population have strong and endearing feelings about fellow man, even if they don't like some areas of it. Giving actually produces in most people a feeling of well being and it's not always of a financial nature it can be just listening to the plight of someone as well as offering your knowledge and experience in a matter. Those that have 'cold hearts' usually have few if not any friends, and if single end up very lonely. In life everything has repercussions and an action to it that either promotes one's life of demotes it, our choices and decisions do make a difference to the quality of life we enjoy, even if it's at times not that great.

The Western world has for years supported the "third world" much of the funds have made real progress in the lives of many people, but much has be syphoned off to the bureaucratic structures of the respective countries for their own needs, such is life in such places. Where help is often given freely the feeling that it has not been used for purpose makes people feel 'used' and 'abused' where their kindness and generosity has been misplaced. This thought again follows in a service of a product via a manufacturer it's all to do with a quality threshold and why some companies fair better than others. Help is a two way structure, we give help or assistance and in turn at times we need it ourselves even if it's just down to filling our tax forms out, if we are stuck and don't know - we need help, otherwise we could literally do ourselves a disservice in the process.

Some people are generous to a fault, it's a natural trait, others are more discerning, some are even gullible and don't really help because by assisting those that are asking for help it stops them actually getting something really tangible for themselves, such as the lazy and those who just want to take seeing no other option. Then of course there are those who do nothing, their motto is 'I don't ask or take so I don't give', but then that never lasts for long for the moment they require help of great need to them they see another world out there and one which they have been sadly missing out on for so long. The base line for everyone in life is you only get out what you put in, and it may seem from the side lines that that is disproportionate, but at the end of the day you haven't seen what has been nor what is about to happen.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

TRYING TO MAKE LIFE WORK

More than ever people are trying to carve a life out for themselves based upon what isn't going as well as they perceive. Better house / flat, clothes, car, spending money, entertainment, gadgets, tv-phone-Wii-Xbox, the list is endless. And of course that base thought about the 'self 'and their relationship or getting one, and not everyone is set out to be a couple despite that they think that would make life complete for them, no it wouldn't. Stick to a "best friend" that way you won't be able to fall out because of not getting your own way or reluctantly having to frequently compromise - which you wouldn't like. It is difficult for many people to gain a better access to a life standard which they deem that they are worthy of than they have at this present moment, but often the change is an internal adjustment rather than an external acquisition, even though that would prove a nice thing. There's absolutely nothing wrong with trying to get a better stance on life after all it's there awaiting so it's not always pie in the sky, it can be real. But often the striving negates the present and if that happens to be the case then real instability of personal understanding starts to take over and what could have been good in the present is reduced to mediocre. Our mental attitude also plays a vital part in life and as to our enjoyment of it every day and not just certain aspects of it with somewhat bland times in between.

Depression, anxiety, boredom, lack of fun, lack of real camaraderie, lack of heartfelt warmth from a significant other / friends. Lack of silliness, lack of personal conversations at all levels with those you can 'talk to' and empathise with, being told off by your best friend - because you really haven't got one, sharing, etc. All these things make a significant difference to the quality of life for the individual. No matter who we are and whether we have 100's of 'so called' friends all over the globe there are those few or one that makes life just so much more enjoyable because you love them. We are all different but our basic needs are very similar, and whether we are globetrotters or sedentary that 'anchor' makes a difference. Our perspective on life and our attitude defines who we are, and those struggling already find that the going can get to an intolerable level because their base understanding in life isn't there. If focus is predominantly on 'hardship' it's difficult to opt out of that mode when faced with it, but if the subtleties of humanity are not there then real desperation and irascibility of the mind becomes more than real and develops into a place where life becomes cruel and the 'way out' seems none existent.

Despite the physicality's of what each person may or may not have life is relative and happiness isn't subject to comparisons nor is it a product of what is to come or may come along. Families can find life at times a struggle if not financially more mentally seeing their young grow into young adults and all the aggressive social problems that they face at increasingly younger ages than they did years ago. Manufacturers and advertising agencies are merciless at recruiting new recruits hoping to wean the impressionable and immature on to their products. They deny this but they are liers. Your children are to an extent a product of your parentage as indeed you are, failure often starts at home in a whole manner of areas, selfishness is almost borne in the home and is not a redeemable asset to have as it stultifies goodness and communicational skills. Whether we are going through a recession or good times it makes no difference to the happiness factor if it does it shows what a chameleon you are and your own susceptibilities to life. There are more "millionaires" made in times of recession than actually in the 'good times', and more creativity is in evidence too. If we need better there has to be a reason other than "just wanting it", if better is an accessory or an adjunct to life it will lose its ability to support our emotional needs, if it's deemed as an essential then we have to enjoy what we have now otherwise our emotional contact with it will forever thwart where we are currently living.

We create our own reality, thus we can either live and like life, even if not perfect or we can forever create an ambient struggle that we have devised and rarely try to accomplish as it's on a wish list more than a physical desire. Sadly today few people actually live their own lives according to what they want to do, it tends to be a homogeneous structure of bits from everywhere else which doesn't totally rest well within and causes an on-going instability and a feeling or unrest without cause.Trying to make like work doesn't work, you literally have to make it work then it works, trying is the journey which for most is a smart theory, making it work is a deed of sheer progress and determination, winners and losers.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012 

THE SILENT NOISE AROUND US

All around us there is noise, not necessarily the noise we can hear, but noise there is, it's reverberating and vibrating to an effect and at some point up the scale it turns to light as it has an energy. We see and hear a very limited part of the entire spectrum but it serves us well and if we could see and hear more then we would have be able to differentiate between what it all means otherwise our minds would be constantly in an overload mode. To understand life more proficiently we need to both understand ourselves, which many don't, and life itself otherwise we end up as stoic and pathetic excuses of human life some of which is almost on the verge of being created as a race in the west at the lower levels of life, where self thought is the only reason for existence. Everything makes a noise, life is itself a vibration and all that is in the cosmos sings to a set tune, even if the harmonics vary. If we are discordant then we know there is something wrong, we don't need a degree in science to understand that, but it's too easy to be arrogant and understand what discordant life is all about if we don't have any solutions as to how to correct it or re-tune it to provide more comfortable sounds that like a well tuned car just purrs in motion as opposed to rough clangy sounds it would otherwise emit.

Unhappiness, sadness, loneliness, evil, retribution, anger, worry, unsettled, religion, nervousness, unreliability, dishonesty, lack of purpose, lack of being, etc, all the negative emotions are discordant and reverberate in an ill conceived manner hence if they are allowed to continue by default make us unhealthy and the consequences of which can be dire. Within the framework of life and that silent noise that's around us we create a new kind of noise, it's called 'our life' and whilst it's made up of the same stuff of everything else around us it's still unique to us, it will never be replenished nor copied such is the vastness of life and our part in it. Discordant societies are made up of discordant people and they run on for years and years, discordant lives are similarly created by the self, and at this point one must differentiate between being discordant and personal happiness because it's possible to have degrees of personal happiness within a discordant society, and it very possible to be unhappy in a concordant society.

When the harmonics of our lives resonate well when we feel good about ourselves and life, even if all isn't perfect, it's how we see ourselves and assess where we are and what we have and decide it's OK to be happy. It has to be because happiness is already within us it's not circumstantial, even though that can give us a degree of happiness itself, what makes one happy may not be the contributing factor to another's happiness. Happiness is not a journey, it's here right now whether you like it or want to believe it or not. What noise we choose to bring to enhance living to us is purely down to ourselves, no one else can enter into our own noise or happiness, we can contribute to the overall orchestral sound of life or be something of a clatter of discordant amplitude that everyone rejects or spurns or treats as something that they don't want. Many large companies and organisations are after years of service going bust, old values are being terminated as not compliant with today's cheap and easy short termism, where the resonance isn't very pleasing and thus in its wake of such sounds endless re-inventing is becoming an on-going strategy just to keep afloat regardless of what cost and expense.

Instability and the absence of real leadership relinquished for greed and power makes their discordant noise unheard yet its felt by all around. The atmosphere of many a workplace is negatively charged and this in turn is brought to the home life and distributed to those there who in turn distribute their negative harmonics to others and soon society is revelling to disconcerting sounds that start the whole ball rolling to ill health and where mental health is concerned the agility of the nation is then in jeopardy. Nothing in life is exclusive, it's part of the homogeneous overall sound where harmonics blend or otherwise, it's the otherwise we need to focus on as it's in our remit to be able to fix it all. But where showmanship is today's premier action it leaves the unseen unheard to slowly flourish until it's all too late and nations have problems looming large that know nothing of or about. Being "at one" with life isn't some "new age" diatribe, it's actually feeling that whatever happens you are going to feel good and not be a part of what is a temporal situation and that the ambient resonance of life is where you belong, for what is the alternative.       

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

BEING ADULT ABOUT LIFE

So many arguments are caused by juvenile thoughts and pure selfish feelings. The majority of relationship breakdowns are because of selfishness more than anything else oh, and of course a real lack of true love. We talk about love quite a lot there are films and TV programmes splattered all around us about love stories usually those that go wrong as hysterical drama can be interjected in to it. Happy endings rarely move an audience even if a few tears are shed towards the end. Do we know what real love is all about once the initial infatuation calms down and life starts to wash away the clouds of bliss as the odd storm brews up in the distance? Do we look differently at our partner and think they could be better or do better or that we haven't after all that much in common for the long run?  Of course these are failings in us and our ego and our attitude and our self esteem and the self itself, it's usually about our own self that we let ourselves down terribly with, not someone else, although we don't usually like to admit it. Our temperament can be up and down like a yo-yo and thus we have mood swings that reflect that up and down feeling as we tend to let everyone know for that subliminal cry for attention to try and zest things up again. It rarely works as after a while everyone knows you for who and what you are, which doesn't mean you are a bad person nor anything else, just dull and predictive. We can also be forever analytical which then removes much of what life is all about as we tend then to miss the crux of what it really all means and the nuances that can't easily be categorised.

Alternatively we can can be one of those self created morons that is politically correct, and there is no legislation pertaining to such so it's a self made stance which means you are dancing on dangerous ground as it's all based upon your perception not the reality of others. If you harbour political correctness as a means of moving forward the chances are you won't, as you'll forever be frightened to speak your mind or allow others to do the same so nothing predominantly happens. It's often a failure mentality and depicts one of lesser strength, if others get upset then let them deal with it, it's not for to you offer yourself as some self proclaimed bastion of society that no one wants and in the process holding everyone back. Understanding the bigger picture is always a good thing yet few ever do they never rise to that thought process yet then wonder why they are forever in the doldrums seeing life as an obstacle in itself and not fair and wallowing in the detritus because they can never seem to float to the surface.

Selfishness is a pre-cursor to many problems in life, loneliness, lack of relationships and commitment, mental instability, distrust, unhappiness, warped thoughts, self denial, fear of spending too much time with others - no matter how close they may be. Zealously enhanced distance relationships via email, Facebook, Twitter or other social media platform, quirkiness, fragmented life, etc, it's all to do with an almost pivotless sense of me, me and of course me. We have options and choices so we take the route that we think is applicable to us, rightly or wrongly who knows. Nothing is without consequences good or not so good, and in the overall view it matters not to others as it's our own personal life and we migrate towards those that share our view and personality even if it is from afar and see only small chunks we empathise with. Actually living in close proximity with our distant contacts could lead to everything we like about someone come toppling down in an instant such is our cultivated relationship that even if deeply motivated and concurrent on many topics is never the less fragile in context.

Understanding ourselves and not trying to think another way over the reality of whom we are makes for a greater understanding and a degree of increased happiness as we know why things are as they are and not ponder upon such variables then wonder why, again brushing over on the reality side of events. Our "love walk" should see us through, for where our "love walk" is evident so is that little voice telling us what is right or not so, and yes we do have "override" we can latch on to, but override is just that and it's tantamount to to lying to ourselves, which is the last thing we should do. We can hypothesise until the day we die yet it won't change the truth even if we don't really want to believe there is one. We can try and be another Peter Pan and pretend that we are not getting older and that life in the main is for others, but it isn't, we are part of getting old and life does zoom by even if our Dorian Grey attitude temporarily makes us feel better. At some stage everything comes home to roost and at some stage we look upon life and not see what we have done but where are we now, for that is where we live and breath.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

LONELINESS, SOBRIETY AND INNER PEACE

There is almost in epidemic proportions today a degree of loneliness which is sweeping through the lives of many people and it's causing them a great deal of concern and consternation as they can't either fathom or understand why it is they are feeling the way they do. Similarly many people are feeling isolated or are having problems with regards meaningful personal relationships, they have possibly many friends or more accurately acquaintances but the depth of how they interact it tersely, usually at a distance like we interact with many on Facebook from afar. We can discuss quite deep and quite meaningful topics on both Facebook and Twitter yet it all means nothing as it's for many an outlet of hollow proportions and empty feelings, empathy is probably as far as we get to that proverbial 'hug', but it's seldom more as everyone has a life of their own and it's not something distance nor a public display of feelings renders itself as sincere even if it is possible meant as such.

Loneliness falls predominantly into three categories, those who are housebound or locationally isolated, although many aren't lonely as they have good people around them, those that self isolate themselves via selfish motives and excuses - which accounts for the majority, and those who have relatively good and busy lives and yet feel literally lonely - where those around them and life just doesn't quench that inner feeling. Loneliness from the outset may not seem as debilitating as many an illness or condition that some have, yet from loneliness can stem illness itself, paranoia, delusions, narrow thoughts, isolation, reclusiveness, lost love, lost hope, lost peace, lost humanitarian instincts, lost communicational skills, gross selfishness - which is a big problem, and getting into a rut so deep and entrenched that it's almost impossible to get out of.

Our inner peace is a great aspect of our life, it's nothing to do with our desire to get on or create or our ambition, it's all about us and how we feel, it's that personal. It has nothing to do with getting the latest gadget or designer clothes those desires actually fill us with a degree of inferiority as we feel we need them to enhance our 'self' whereas we don't, even if they prove useful or attractive. So many people let themselves down to their own emotions and then wonder why things aren't as they would really want. Not only does letting ourselves down eventually show, we become deceptive to others and ourselves as our desire consumes much of our thoughts and our will to do things often creates our failure as we then overlook aspect of work or life based upon our greed for an end result, which is often never as anticipated as it's negatively constructed.

Inner peace for the fickle and ignorant isn't worth much, why waste your time on inner peace when there are material things to do to take our mind off of life. Inner peace to the lonely doesn't happen they make sure of that, being precious, conceited and selfishness puts paid to ever finding what would really make them happy. Inner peace to those that one "would think" should be far from lacking in that department is an idealistic view of what you are as a person and where your real priorities lie and neither co-join. Our attitude very much determines who we are and how we walk through life, none of this stupid "self help" or pathetic "finding happiness" when it's not lost. Where failure really makes it's name a house hold entity is when everyone goes out looking for something that they carry around with them, thinking that solutions and answers are with other people. Of course other people don't possess what you have already within you so can't help even if the solitary experience is uplifting, it doesn't last. It's like having a glass or two of scotch and all seems well, but then tomorrow it's all worn off and nothing has changed.

Loneliness makes one precious and introverted in thinking, tiredness is also an aspect that lonely people get used to and forever feel they need their sleep, which is usually a cop out to being bored and a lack of stimulating thought, although it could in some manifest as insomnia. Communing with life is essential but like everything in life it's quality not quantity, and not going to mix with other lonely people to exchange the same views on the same subjects as if exchanging notes knowing that it will lead to nought in the end. Love is a big aspect with lonely people, they often feel the need for it yet are fearful of it taking a hold of them for some reason and that it might just change their solitary and calculated lifestyle where they lose control to an additional input, which would never do. The Catch-22 which often exists in their lives is one which they get used to and the option of not making a commitment is one which is usually taken in preference, even if invitations are accepted for events or holidays, it's still the lone wolf trying to acquiesce to the herding instinct and never quite comes off.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

LOST THAT LOVING FEELING

Love is an intrinsic part of us as individuals, even for the bad guys it's still a part of them too. It's also true all over the globe including the modern day despots and ever growing religious fanatics who seem to have more of a mental condition than anything else. Love is what makes life bearable and what has sustained mankind throughout time. Man has looked after himself and has grown to where he is today even though there are still primitive tribes thriving in both African, South American and Far Eastern forests. On the whole people like doing things for other people, helping them if lost, caring for them in specialised units, in fact for many helping is a vocation, unlike the finance industry which is heartless and cold. Of course there are exceptions there are those whose mental stance on life has overruled love for the self, gain at all cost, burglary, muggings, sexual offences, greed, selfishness, isolation of humanity and living without thought for others, and so it goes on, and other than mental conditions it's all self contrived. Unsocial behaviour is seen daily in all walks of life including public transport, shopping malls and even on Facebook and other social media sites. It's an act of the self over and above others brought about by unhappiness - and unhappiness manifests itself via many forms.
          
Life affects everyone differently and we go through various stages as time goes by, we encounter problems, situations, events, and our perception of it based upon how we are faring and feeling at any one time. It's good to be loved, it's good to be wanted, to be needed, it's good to love and it's good to care for others that significantly mean something to you other than your partner, such as best friends and very close people who resonate well deep inside of you. Without any of these feelings one is almost alone, and indeed it's often how loneliness is caused by the self, rather than by circumstances. In order to love one has to give, if you can't give you can't receive as it's the same conduit, so if you block it up with self created thoughts then you will by default alienate yourself from love. You'll see and know it's there but you won't be able to either access it or to allow it to touch you and give you that warm feeling which keeps that void deep within at arms length.

There are those who are desperate for love and those that almost have a vocation spending time on "Love and Dating Sites" much of which results in zilch and verges on correspondence between the deceitful and and the fanciful, all matching false identities and building hopes on clouds that pass and are never seen again.  The con artists, the frivolous, the game chasers, those that use the site for pure entertainment, and those who use it to pass the time way. Love is something that never runs out, so the more you give the more it's replenished and thus the more you are a contented bunny, feeling elevated rather than deflated even when life takes a slight tumble. Those that forever extol love as something special that they are saving for the "right" person are to be avoided at all costs as they harbour a high degree of self created selfishness. Love is special but it's also universal and if we adhere to television, the press and other negative outlets then we can generate a degree of paranoia which will eradicate our ability to love.

If life feels low for no real reason or that circumstances are not as they should be or you have isolated yourself and ponder endlessly about it but do nothing then it's a mind stance. It's not that you haven't love within or that love isn't evident it's more to do with accessing situations over and above your love walk, where the mind is set to identifying life bit by bit and love is an adjunct that holds little value in it all. Loneliness is where communing with others has left the individual bereft of that exchange hence many people have pets as they give unconditional love something that few humans can do. There is a definite increase in people feeling lost and almost in a vacuum of nothingness which they can't pin point or put their finger on, yet at the same time one only has to listen to just a few lines of their conversation to understand this mental stand off position. Don't allow the emotions of negativity ever to get the better of you or you will unfortunately suffer by default a degree of lowness and feel that that "Loving Feeling" has left, it hasn't it's just that you've inadvertently side stepped it.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

FAILED RELATIONSHIPS

The incidence of mental unrest in relationships is at an all time high, it matters not what religion you subscribe to, what doctrine you wish to understand nor where you live, although that has other effects upon your thought patterns. In life there is one common denominator and that is yourself, so if you have failed at many things time and time again including relationships then you are the point of commonality in the whole thing. Don't blame circumstances, situations, conditions, or 'it just didn't work out', etc, you are the common denominator in the whole shebang. There's none of this "well you're lucky" or "I just don't seem to meet the right people" it doesn't exist. What you did, find, enacted upon, joined into, might have been wrong, flawed, incorrect, etc, but you went into it, and seemingly have done so time and time again. How, why, is another matter but taking the leap into doing what you did for it to fail yet again outlines to everyone else that somewhere down the line there isn't that intelligent connection that's seeing possibilities which come to light as if almost in a recurring manner. Not dissimilar to the "battered wife" syndrome.

Of course failure isn't as bad a situation in some areas as we seem to make out, scientists often fail for years trying to do something and it not working out until one day that 'eureka' moment hits them. Many people are alive today because of the constancy of pushing forward over and above failure in researching pharmaceuticals. Similarly with engineering and science life is often trial and error and even in accidents we learn what not to do or how better to modify the service or product for future betterment. Failure can make us stronger and wiser and give us a degree of personal wisdom over and above that which we could learn from just every day life.

Our relationships span a multitude of levels in life from one with ourselves, do we love ourself? To those with significant others, friends, family, work colleagues, to those who we meet in the shopping mall, services and other intermediaries. Some people walk around with an almost permanent smile and face life as it is whether or not they receive any reciprocation from others is immaterial. Others walk around with a glum dull face and if anyone smiles at them they get unnerved and even upset wondering what the catch is, such is their low debased and insular nature. How we view life is how we live it, the better we are at looking good the more help and encouragement we get from others and the more respect we tend to get too. No one likes to help grumpy gruff sloven people, it goes well against the grain both psychologically and morally, it doesn't feel good, and we need a degree of reciprocation in order for us to make additional moves in what we can or will do.

Loneliness for the main part is down to failed relationships with life and the amount of selfishness that's in that thought behind it all. There are those who are forced because of physical and mental conditions to live in an isolated situation, but the vast majority aren't. Selfishness, meanness, laziness, bad attitude are all contributors to loneliness. Failed life relationships are self created, and it matters not whether one is naturally gregarious or reticent, in between all of this is humanity, and if we don't embrace it or we have stilted views or prefer to be biased towards our family or race or creed or whatever then we will sadly and statistically be veering to a life as time goes by to be on our own. People who are on their own tend to have more problems mentally and physically than those with good and constant friends. Whatever you think, whatever excuses you put up, the ball is in your court, no one wants to hear the excuses anymore, if you can't give of yourself you are certainly not going to receive back what humanity has to offer.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012