HAVING AN AFFAIR

The last time I wrote something on the topic "Affairs" I had the highest number of blog hits ever and still it's getting read and still I get correspondence from it. The many years I've been travelling around the world in my professional capacity I have been got at / approached / boldly faced / cornered / set up / asked out to dinner /enticed to pool parties / weekend homes / enticed into situations or just a corner where people have to tell me about the affair they have had or the "fling" that they have had. It weights so heavily that they go to great lengths to want to tell all and at times it's all on for them to stop them telling me the whole gory details, and yes some actually have DVD's of the whole thing too. It was almost a "Father Confessor" role by default which one shudders at. And with modern technology imagination is left uncompromised it's there in all its glory, although it's something I don't need to see to be conversant with what's just happened or indeed still going on. The trails on mobile devises are the foods Divorce Lawyers or newspapers feed upon.  Many people are quite reticent about discussing their story and details but feel that for their sake they just must tell someone otherwise it's too much to bear to live with for the rest of their lives. The bottom line is that over 90% of people who have had an affair have deeply regretted it, and still years after have within them guilt that they either can't shift or just frightened that they will blurt out something pertaining to it and ruin what they have got. I still have thoughts to this day from certain prominent people that "I wish they hadn't told me that", but they did such is their desire to 'cleanse' themselves of the endless thoughts about it all.

There are cultures and ethnic groups that are known for having affairs but then it tells on their culture that it never actually gets very far because of it. Society has "moral values" and regardless of what ones personal opinions are on that subject, it generally makes a great deal of difference when it comes to family life, trust, respect, education, perception by other people and the future generations that have little self esteem as there was none or little in the home life. When that breaks down crime rises in all areas. The biggest trust bond that people ever make as a rule is that when they have a committed relationship, not the one where you just shack up together because you like each other, the sex is great and it's convenient - for a while. It's the committed relationship whereby you love your partner so much you want to spend the rest of your life with him / her regardless of your job or current circumstances. Anything less always leads to less hence many people in the media are born failures where relationships are concerned.

Most affairs start because they can, we are always going to meet someone somewhere at some point in some situation in our lives that's going to raise a sparkle and renew who we were or bring out what was either dormant or possibly thought lost. The heart starts to beat like no tomorrow and the adrenalin and everything else just elevates the whole sensual system in the body including the mind that ones outlook is taken beyond the present to something more palatable even if it's all transient and ends up quite the opposite. Affairs are not just the confines of sluts, lonely people of a certain age or loose morals, they can happen to anyone anytime, even the most sedate person has feelings and at times our whole mind structure is in need of 'something' to enhance from what is to what should be as the self seems almost oblivious of how to affect such a change. Affairs are deceitful there's no getting away from it, it's often not pre-meditated nor is it engineered other than locating a base for the liaison and at times it's not even the sexual conclusion that's the bit that causes the excitement it's actually meeting someone in an almost clandestine way and being able to communicate and importantly laugh which is just so therapeutic. Most affairs start when laughter is no longer an aspect of life, it doesn't mean that love has flown out of the window but real laughter and a sharing of each other has become robotic and that's when those inner stirrings start to rise often subliminally. However you may be the actual cause yourself of your own affair and as to why this situation has arisen so don't jump to conclusions and immediately blame your partner.

We all know the consequences of what an affair can do even if we have never entertained that aspect of life ourselves. Some get over it, some never get over it and some just go on endlessly like headless chickens wandering aimlessly thinking about that 'other' person out there who is better than the current one. Completely selfishly orientated and never able to give of them selves, always holding back for something better which never materialises. But in our world of "all about me" there is no such thing as "they / he / she made me do it", you did it via your own thought process, and there is no back up to justify it whatsoever (if you don't like the relationship get out of it). There are no counsellors, coaches, shrinks or whatever that will properly justify your action to make you feel better. Whatever you have done you have done on your own, the first touch, the first kiss the first moment of sex it was you who did it no one else did it on your behalf. Unless you make a habit of gross infidelity - and some do - then if you don't face up to it you will forever reap the rearing of unsavoury after effects by always being on your guard and it will show when you are nervous or with other people. Your life is in your hands, your partner failures are your judgement not theirs, if you have endless failures YOU are the common denominator in every one no one else. Always looking for something better will guarantee that you'll always be on the edge in life and as soon as the shine starts to dull, that will be your Achilles heal.
(Part 2 to follow - soon)....

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

LIFE SECURITY

What is the most important thing thing that you need in life outside your health and welfare (and family if you have one)? It's the security and peace of mind that exists around you that promotes 'wellbeing' and a knowledge that whatever you do is going to be as you intended in that someone else hasn't interfered with it or is going to cause harm to yourself or property. However, the problem is getting worse in that there's little done to stop the root cause as  there's only an industry built up on the action of it all happening and what goes on from there. The enclaves in our large cities are well known for crime and the low life dwelling of people who have a poor education, mentality and almost zero outlook on life. The ability of the state to try and re-energise such parts of society is very poor although overburdened with services to help cope with it. Such is our political correctness that it's almost a case where the victim is being blamed for being there for the assailant to have committed the crime. Our whole ethos needs to be radically changed and so does the social structure that almost upholds what is the negativity of the root cause of social decay in society. It's one thing to tax the rich as a statement of income but it's not them who are the parasites on society taking benefits or grants or state handouts, it's quite the opposite. It's those women who have 5, 6, 7 children from equally as many fathers whose children do the same and thus bring more children into the world with almost no hope or chance of success. There are the down and out families that have little or no sense of living that just survive and where education is not of any importance whatsoever, the ghettos of ethnic people - whoever they happen to be, who wallow together in a cesspit of themselves and therefore there is no stimulus nor incentive for any positive growth. Furthermore when you live at the bottom of the pit it's actually quite frightening to move out of as it needs a massive mental change otherwise you take the cesspit mentality with you, hence so many social housing schemes end up as newly built slums.

Our own personal security is yet another aspect of ourselves and one that is vitally important as it has an effect upon the whole of our lives. What are we doing now, what will we be doing and how will we sustain ourselves throughout.  There doesn't have to be a definitive answer to these questions as life is fluid and therefore subject to change even radical change but we can throughout be very positive in that we will be alright and that there is a future and that we will be OK and furthermore happy to boot. That attitude prevails, if we absorb the media detritus of muggins, murders and the like it separates those diffident souls that never do anything and those that forge on regardless and have a far better quality life. There is an "Us and Them" in life, there always has been and there always will be, no matter what the "us and them" happens to be. We don't like everyone in life and not everyone likes us either, so there is by default already a distinction in whom we are and our boundaries. We even in a group of people segregate ourselves or migrate to those that we either feel more comfortable with or have an affinity with or who have more in common with, it's natural.

In communities the good ones are predominantly nice and the bad ones pathetic. The unfortunate aspect of today and many people in the "social strata's" that are involved with socio-economic groups is to try to either bulldozer everything and flatten it down, which never ever works or try to "mix n' match" by putting problem families ' groups in with establish families groups and that rarely works usually invoking resentment, hostility and degradation. It's very important that people don't feel their security is threatened by faceless people somewhere else trying out their own social constructs with people who have worked hard to get where they are and be infiltrated by those who don't care. The degree of social irresponsibility and ineptitude is growing especially as immigration increases and backward cultures tend to reduce an areas social standing by default. The topic of celebrating diversity by the politically correct retards only enhances a lack of unity and even further fragmentation. The overall effect is that ghettos are often created or enclaves and it is an area of newly created environmental problems, religious problems that never previously existed and an overall lowering of standards and of course rising crime, which finds its new home.

Of course security is one thing as is overkill where security actually starts to create its own enveloped intrusion into life and then it's a retrograde step that hinders via paranoia rather than careful and technical design. Where the enjoyment of life is now a brutal step in ones own freedom where originally security was to allow freedom to happen. Where security is almost an entry into Communism where "big brother" is watching you 24/7 and can access every email, text, account, location where you are and what you did or said. And it doesn't end there as once a glitch occurs people are by default denied access to even their own property or accounts having to prove who they are because of a human or electronic mistake in the system and where fraud and electronic organised crime takes on a whole new elevated ball game that's being planned behind all our backs. Before one thinks about security, one must think hard at who is operating that security and do I trust them, including your own government?

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others).

FIGHTING IN THE MIND

Many people today are finding that it's becoming more difficult living in their own skin than actually living as a person in the society in which they reside. Our lives are speeding up and more and more people are seemingly swimming with the tide regardless of where it's flowing to. There seems a section of society that is almost out of touch with life and are robtically just living in the 'designer' lead forum listening to hyped disingenuous news, following worthless people, and cocooned in an aura of diatribe themselves, almost having abdicated self thought for that of the mass group thinking policy. It's true that life and the world is increasing in terms of evolutionary growth, where for many years it just trundled along at an almost sedentary pace, whereas now it's heating up the pot and we are as a race on planet earth trying to find a more comfortable position.

Global warming, emission controls, disingenuous trading in carbon, and governmental regulations will not affect planet earth as it will survive no matter what we do, after all it's been through worse times and come out shining. We as a race have only just been here a short while and are getting a little concerned about our well being, well not everyone, but most. Our minds are capable of much more than we allow them yet at the same time some areas of society rarely use their minds at all, and repressive countries have so indoctrinated their populous with "religious diatribe" that they are incapable of becoming stable both as a race of people and a country which houses such people, which is evident today. If our mental situation is flawed then there is little hope for society at large, tablets and shrinks aren't the answer to self control, they are the fall out default situation for the many that lose the plot not through medical conditions but a lack of their own self governance and ability.

Schools and educational establishments rarely teach anything pertaining to common sense, manners, communicational skills and wherever there is a smidgen of "political correctness" there is a definite fall in progress and an increase in instability. Fickle children taught by fickle teachers who have a list of "can't do can't say" more than "can do" and "can say" is but repressing children who find common sense is an area almost missing in their lives. And where mass immigration from illiterate or backward societies has in reality held back what once was an almost overwhelming increase in knowledge. Where celebrating diversity has eliminated a 'oneness' and people are feeling almost fragmented and disjointed and separated rather than feeling part of a unity, such are the pathetic brainless and narrow psychopaths that have illusion of life known only unto themselves and know nothing of life local or global yet dictate it to be taught on to others.

But even with those of an older nature and in their late 20's or 30's and indeed older their is a dearth of mental froughntness that they find life hard to comprehend and get to grips with. Where real free thinkers and those that have free thought are almost left out in the cold as the "zombies" that are left absorb the flotsam and jetsam of fabricated life and then wonder why everything is so difficult. Governments are adding to the national unhappiness factor as opposed to rectifying it because they too are of the populous zombie mentality and designer personal greed. Everyone wants to be smart, to make a difference but only if they are part of the picture themselves and receive appropriate kudos for it, such is their conditional philanthropic mentality. Governments are weak, they dare not throw down any gauntlets and so they reside forever in a cloud of PR Rhetoric and nothing more. The European Government are corrupt and have syphoned off £4bn in funds for their own enjoyment which they cannot account for and some sanction chauffeurs for their pets at the public expense.

Where the legal system in the UK was once a shining example of fair play, it's now just "play"  and is so out of touch and unfair and incredibly grossly expensive and slow which is how they like it as it's milking the system for the system itself. Where illegal immigrants get more money than pensioners, where victims are viewed as the cause for the aggressor who gets rights and better treatment. And where rights are given to those who take the rights of the everyday citizen away, if you go against society your rights should be automatically removed. Where many overseas countries don't even have a decent legal system, it's there just for show and for their own government to use at their discretion to lock up whom they like just because someone says something against them.

Mental health is linked to faith in society. Africa is totally corrupt the Middle East is totally corrupt and mentally unstable, Asia is emerging yet it has its corrupt "Nouveaux riches" governments. Pakistan is a hell hole and Godless society full of deceit and negativity and lovelessness as is Afghanistan and its poncy leader, and even in the USA where greed is now God at all costs as is paranoia about security. And Europe where many of the populous of the Eastern European states are littering the Western European jails. And failed European countries are where they are because of incompetent governments as opposed to conditional situations. There is no area of the world immune from it's own deceit and divisive ploys including China, Russia and South America too, where all is carried out by the few and endured by the many. Keeping ones mental solace is a prime function as that is what at the very end is going to keep one afloat and actually live through it all and come out shining, smiling and impervious the those who take it all in, panic and suffer.       

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others).

VACANT AWARENESS

Have you noticed more and more that many people are seemingly living in a parallel world of their own, they just seem not be "with it" or aware of their immediate surroundings. Sometimes there are genuine reasons for this such as the personal stereo players that automatically reduce ones ability to be fully knowledgeable of their immediate presence, it even stops people walking in straight lines if you notice such. Ones guidance systems are reduced and the listener tends to wander around more randomly than the average person who is not hooked up to piped distractions. The mobile phone is another where people either stop dead or just lose their ability to comprehend others around them and thus become objects in a crowd where their senses and reactions are almost all linked to the calls they are making or receiving. It's even worse when people are taking calls in their car as their ability to function using indicators or even gears if manually geared are substantially reduced as is their situational understanding in relation to other cars, pedestrians and the environment too.

Many people develop the "glance syndrome" whereby they perpetually keep looking at their mobile phone to see if they have received a text or a missed call or some news update. This also substantially reduces ones ability to concentrate and thus impedes both work and personal thought, it can in some situations regarding work reduce the high level of concentration that one needs to adequately fulfil what is required of them.  Years ago people were restricted in using company phones, after all your time is paid for for your work and with the exception of the odd call for dentist / doctor that was it. Today the mobile phone can be intrusive and for some they get withdrawal symptoms so used are they to being welded to their phone for fear of missing out on events that never happen. (Just in case syndrome). It's not even uncommon today for the very young especially to text their friends with messages even if they are sat next to each other. There is nothing wrong with this as such until the phone is withdrawn then they feel stressed that their level of conversational activity is reduced, it isn't but it's a feeling that overcomes them.

There is of course another vacant form (one of many) but a common form of seeing people around you looking dazed and in fact being vacant, withdrawn into themselves, not quite 'out of it' yet verging on the edge of not quite being fully conversant with life and living on the periphery so as not to fully entering into it. It's a world of grossly cultivated self thought, almost like an "old record" that's stuck in a groove and perpetually going around and around. Many people especially the single and over thirty live perpetually in this world as they find life isn't from their perspective what it should be and thus hypothesise and concoct a life within. For others they actually get used to "flipping in" and "flipping out" of this world, some with great ease that one moment they are conversing on a mutual topic next moment they are in their own little world of endless conjecture that constantly swirls around, and at times goes to war with itself. It can be both comforting and unsettling at the same time, but one thing is for sure it's not conducive to a happy life ahead.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
© John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

LONELINESS, SOBRIETY AND INNER PEACE

There is almost in epidemic proportions today a degree of loneliness which is sweeping through the lives of many people and it's causing them a great deal of concern and consternation as they can't either fathom or understand why it is they are feeling the way they do. Similarly many people are feeling isolated or are having problems with regards meaningful personal relationships, they have possibly many friends or more accurately acquaintances but the depth of how they interact it tersely, usually at a distance like we interact with many on Facebook from afar. We can discuss quite deep and quite meaningful topics on both Facebook and Twitter yet it all means nothing as it's for many an outlet of hollow proportions and empty feelings, empathy is probably as far as we get to that proverbial 'hug', but it's seldom more as everyone has a life of their own and it's not something distance nor a public display of feelings renders itself as sincere even if it is possible meant as such.

Loneliness falls predominantly into three categories, those who are housebound or locationally isolated, although many aren't lonely as they have good people around them, those that self isolate themselves via selfish motives and excuses - which accounts for the majority, and those who have relatively good and busy lives and yet feel literally lonely - where those around them and life just doesn't quench that inner feeling. Loneliness from the outset may not seem as debilitating as many an illness or condition that some have, yet from loneliness can stem illness itself, paranoia, delusions, narrow thoughts, isolation, reclusiveness, lost love, lost hope, lost peace, lost humanitarian instincts, lost communicational skills, gross selfishness - which is a big problem, and getting into a rut so deep and entrenched that it's almost impossible to get out of.

Our inner peace is a great aspect of our life, it's nothing to do with our desire to get on or create or our ambition, it's all about us and how we feel, it's that personal. It has nothing to do with getting the latest gadget or designer clothes those desires actually fill us with a degree of inferiority as we feel we need them to enhance our 'self' whereas we don't, even if they prove useful or attractive. So many people let themselves down to their own emotions and then wonder why things aren't as they would really want. Not only does letting ourselves down eventually show, we become deceptive to others and ourselves as our desire consumes much of our thoughts and our will to do things often creates our failure as we then overlook aspect of work or life based upon our greed for an end result, which is often never as anticipated as it's negatively constructed.

Inner peace for the fickle and ignorant isn't worth much, why waste your time on inner peace when there are material things to do to take our mind off of life. Inner peace to the lonely doesn't happen they make sure of that, being precious, conceited and selfishness puts paid to ever finding what would really make them happy. Inner peace to those that one "would think" should be far from lacking in that department is an idealistic view of what you are as a person and where your real priorities lie and neither co-join. Our attitude very much determines who we are and how we walk through life, none of this stupid "self help" or pathetic "finding happiness" when it's not lost. Where failure really makes it's name a house hold entity is when everyone goes out looking for something that they carry around with them, thinking that solutions and answers are with other people. Of course other people don't possess what you have already within you so can't help even if the solitary experience is uplifting, it doesn't last. It's like having a glass or two of scotch and all seems well, but then tomorrow it's all worn off and nothing has changed.

Loneliness makes one precious and introverted in thinking, tiredness is also an aspect that lonely people get used to and forever feel they need their sleep, which is usually a cop out to being bored and a lack of stimulating thought, although it could in some manifest as insomnia. Communing with life is essential but like everything in life it's quality not quantity, and not going to mix with other lonely people to exchange the same views on the same subjects as if exchanging notes knowing that it will lead to nought in the end. Love is a big aspect with lonely people, they often feel the need for it yet are fearful of it taking a hold of them for some reason and that it might just change their solitary and calculated lifestyle where they lose control to an additional input, which would never do. The Catch-22 which often exists in their lives is one which they get used to and the option of not making a commitment is one which is usually taken in preference, even if invitations are accepted for events or holidays, it's still the lone wolf trying to acquiesce to the herding instinct and never quite comes off.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

THE ENERGY WITHIN

Life comes in cycles, however each cycle is quite different in that the substance of life in between the last cycle has changed considerably more so now as technology is coming on leaps and bounds even in just the space of a year. We look back and laugh at the 60's and what people wore and the technology, similarly the 70's and 80's and now it's all of a melding of retro and futuristic mixed with nostalgia and tradition all stirred together in a pot of life to produce items and experiences to hopefully elevate our lives. It's this surge of advancement that has left so many people bereft of love, understanding and potential for the future. It's this homogenising of society and within it a breakdown never experienced before of terrorism, which is predominantly Islamic, cultural breakdown, politically correct stupidity, and an unease with young people as to what life is all about causing unrest and for the less intelligent street gangs.

One can see especially on the Internet that there are springing up a whole plethora of groups / individuals / organisations / societies that are keen to put us in touch with our 'higher selves', whatever that is, maybe it's something a bit kinky like a mirror on your bedroom ceiling so you can see yourself at a higher position, who knows? Whatever it is these people have no more connection with life or any other entity or energy than yourselves, even if they have a more calmer outlook, that's self control more than any divine power or knowledge, and there's nothing new here. There is a market however for relaxation and some companies actively engage in this, most are understandably city based as it costs money but never the less it's out there. The companies that indulge in office massage techniques by outside firms are very few and far between and overall it solves nothing, it's just putting a plaster on the problem. Whilst massage can be very beneficial it doesn't solve the root cause as to why everyone has gotten so hyper in the first place. But when finance and ignorance and PR come together, ineptitude is often the resultant and shows considerably as such.

There is without a doubt considerable energy around us both natural and man made. We all know of static electricity when we get a shock from touching something or our sweaters crackle at times when we take them off. Our mobile devices receive energy in the form of radio signals to make and receive our calls as does our sat nav, tv and a whole host of other things like our auto car lock, and TV controls, we just can't get away from it. And from recent disasters we know of high levels of radiation too that whilst we can't see it have devastating consequences especially over time with regards mutating our genes etc. So we need to be selective as to what we call up and try to access with all this "higher self" and "consciousness" and "spirituality", as there are many quacks and charlatans and weirdo's out there who have lost the plot before they have even started. Many on the weird scale from 1 - 10 have already hit the 8 mark if not some beyond 10.

There is also a satanic energy out there and that is very real and many have succumbed to it inadvertently in the search for "higher things" whatever that is to the individual. There are also many religions that are evil based and although they talk of love and goodness do no such thing when it comes to 'walking the walk', the followers never have good things from their God but endless misery and it shows mega-time. Everyone who believes is precious about their faith not wishing to understand that if it isn't real what's left, that's only something that they can come to terms with themselves or feel that what's currently on offer doesn't work but daren't change, it's back to fear again. Fear is the antithesis of love, but believing that is something else as so many are used to thinking fear.

It's not to say that many who go on courses to find their "higher self" don't get some benefit, we can all learn at any age, although many of the people who attend these courses are 30+ and single and predominantly female, but not exclusively. Loneliness and isolation and sadness and mild depression often get confused with the thought that life holds more but it just can't be accessed so therefore it must be of a "high energy" etc, which is rubbish. It's also that elusive feeling that there are 'secrets' out there that have the answers and accessing your "higher self" or whatever it is you want to access will bring one much closer to the reality of happiness. It won't ever, even if one enjoys the experience of learning and meeting like minded fellow lost souls to exchange views and aspects of getting older more cranky and still lonely, if nothing else it passes the time. Our own energy levels are directly related to whom we are as a person, so our physical and mental health are what we make them by and large. Going "overboard" is almost as bad as doing nothing in that we get out of one encumbrance and shift to another, so in the end we end up with a slightly different but contrite perspective that gets us no further or at least see that what we have done still hasn't quelled the inner pang for that illusive 'higher self' which you have already, but if you could actually access it - then what? You haven't a clue?

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012