GETTING IT RIGHT

There's one thing that really does 'rattle our cage' and that's when stuff goes wrong. It's so gratifying when our plans or circumstances fall into place it not only makes us feel good we even have a different perspective on life and the world. It's a mixture of compassion, elevation and greater understanding of all that's around us, but boy does it vanish when it all collides and goes awry. In reality it's only our mind that makes us think that way because things are as they are whatever happens the good, the bad and the indifferent, it's all processed by the self same computer - our mind. When we try to get it right it's because we have taken care and hopefully paid attention to what we are doing, so if it goes wrong we should have some idea as to how best to rectify it or pull it all together even if that is not really a very palatable idea. Overcoming disappointment is what most people tend to fall down upon, allowing the negativity of the situation to swirl around in the mind and then feeling sorry and wanting a degree of self compassion makes it even worse. The feeling that one gets in the pit of the stomach adds to the drama of it all, the mind searching for those seemingly illusive elements that we hopefully can latch upon to bring it all around again and make us feel as if nothing has happened, but it has.

It's so important to live your life with a feeling of contentment within and a feeling that you can also 'let go' when necessary too. It doesn't mean that life has to be fabulous and full of the riches that one feels that one deserves, but whatever you have and wherever you are and whatever you are going through an acceptance makes the negative values disappear. Mentally struggling takes up thought volume and in turn that narrows the space needed to process creativity, which in turn retards our thoughts, values and perspectives on life which in turn lowers our awareness and that in turn stops us enjoying the best of what's out there. It's a negative vicious circle each element feeding upon each other going round and round at the expense of our happiness, well being, health, all of which is called 'life'. It's important that whatever we do we do our best at for even at times that doesn't even go according to plan, never the less we get full marks for trying, we get nothing for doing nothing and even little more for doing things half heartedly. It's how we process our thoughts that makes a world of difference and it has amazing change properties within us when we are in alignment with ourselves and follow a purpose and direction whatever that it.

Getting it right is the number one aspect of having a correct 'Attitude', for without a correct attitude we not only don't get on well with life but are often ostracised by those around because they see us as not quite responsive or interested in anything but ourselves and our personal / internal thoughts on life and that 'woe is me' attitude then prevails. We need to respect who we are and at the same time not disrespect others which often goes 'hand in hand' , it's this dichotomy that lowers many people's resistance to moving on as they hold on to it and that's needless baggage. A hot air balloon rises when the ballast (the weights) are dropped and thus allows it to move upwards. Similarly life is very much the same in that if we are full of ballast then we will not only not move up we will stagnate and that will cause problems of its own. Moving on is the only way forward as life evolves whether we move in harmony with it or not we will subliminally be dragged along, so e need to end up where approximately we want o be and not just dumped somewhere because we didn't take any ownership of our existence.   


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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

THE DARK CLOUDS OVERHEAD

At times in life a darkness seems to overtake us to the extent it subliminally alters our views, perceptions , feelings, outlook and degrees of positivity that we once thought was a strength that we had within. It's only a feeling regardless of the reality of circumstances and not those of perceived circumstances, and although it all may appear very real our thoughts pertaining to our feelings are created within our minds. When we take off on a plane we often go through cloud, rain, snow, etc, only to find a few minutes into the flight all has changed and there is bright sun or if at night clear views of the stars and moon. Life is exactly like that, the clouds that tend to darken our lives are but temporary and we need to understand that troubles never last forever neither does the happiness that we enjoy although it doesn't mean that the happiness will not return to something much better.  It's just that everything in life has a "shelf life" and we need to work to that premise. Knowing that we have the impetus to work for those moments when it all changes which could be as short as a few days or as long as a few months, never the less in between awaiting these breaks in the cloud we have to enjoy life and not endure it. We are the masters of our own body and mind and thus we have to do the best to respect that and not concede nor acquiesce to circumstances that are subject to change at a minutes notice.

Today we have a name for everything, like "None Eventful Progress" - you are bored, nothing more nothing less, yet all of a sudden because old fashioned boredom has been given a modern title someone somewhere will feel that they are suffering from it, and worse still some politically correct moron will take it seriously and now what has developed is a scenario that should never ever have existed. Mild depression is not uncommon but by no means a block or excuse  not to do anything unless you make it so. The more we pamper ourselves the worse life gets which is not the same as taking care of yourself. One finds all the successful people regardless of what they do etc, just get up and go for it, whereas those that don't get anywhere are just full of perpetual excuses as to why they can't or didn't or haven't or whatever it is they have conjured up. Most people who have experienced that "down" feeling and just received some good news snap out of it most immediately, such is the power of the mind. We must never underestimate ourselves, because if we feel down or low we lose the ability to see opportunity and that then is a very big negative aspect of life, not seeing potential, fun, happiness, laughter, etc.

We need every day of our lives to start it on a positive note regardless of the dexterity that we may need to just psych ourselves up for if we dwell on what's happening as opposed to ourselves and getting out of it then we will become the problem and not the solution. We are all different and react in different ways and even have different backgrounds and views on identical problems etc, but what is common to all are the self same feelings of lowness and that is the key problem itself, for where lowness exists so does the 'get out' solution too. We need to surround ourselves no matter who we are or where we are with positive people - no exceptions, they are the ones who are going to radiate the positive energy that you are going to fuel recovery upon and in turn reverse feed back energy to those around you too. Dark Clouds happen to anyone, sometimes they are very dark indeed and can render the self moribund and cast doubt as to any hope or indeed chance as to a way out, but clouds are but temporary and our efforts no matter what they are will force though that little glimmer of light that we all pick up on in an instant. The verve that the average human being possesses is astounding, however our mind which processes all of our body movements and thoughts needs to be updated like our computer software in order to maximise our potential and utilise full power not some sort of diluted strategy that leads nowhere.  
 
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

ADVANCED LIVING

How we get on in life can at times be something of a lottery in that what we expected can suddenly just go out of the window and we are left standing pondering about what to do next and more to the point how do we go about what to do now as our mind goes blank. We like to think we have the potential to stave off "negativity" in our lives or that perhaps we are resourceful and should events arise of a not so nice nature we can cope. Sadly for many when the Tsunami of life really does hit then it's a real shock, whether it's health, relationship, financial, work related or whatever else it can be the  mind takes a hit and the aftershock can be devastating, knocking one's self esteem and self security into a frenzy of  nothingness. However we plan our future it's a bit like flying an aircraft, we need to make course corrections en-route otherwise we will not arrive at our destination. Many people get to where they are in life by default, sometimes where they end up is not quite that accessible and it renders life more of an existence of living as opposed to a place which is harmonious and joyful and brings with it that feeling of excitement every day they get up.

Wealth has very little to do with enjoying life even if it brings with it opportunities or the availability of more options. As hard as it may appear or seem or not wanted to be understood is that our happiness is within us, what we can't achieve or our ego or desire can't access causes us untold inner mayhem that plays on our mind as an almost subliminal programme that is constantly replaying itself thus taking the edge off of life. Our success is always relative, what others appear to have as success is but a culmination of circumstances which produce a result, and just because those circumstances of the self are not of a similar proportion does not mean anything less. Our own personal ideology and take on life plays a vital part too in how we both assess life and how we thus accordingly respond to it, so we can in effect be the cause of our own downfall of short comings in life. It's at this point that many people make an assessment of themselves one which is grossly unfair or even based on a fallacious substance but never the less causes them to feel out of kilter with life and what they think they should feel like and it then starts to bring them down to a level which is purely self induced.

Our personal stability is the vital link to happiness, contentment, fulfillment, purpose, definition and that fabulous feeling that we can get that life is good regardless of circumstances and what is displayed on the news. If we don't have this and many don't then life is forever a series of ups and downs and struggles and wishes and thwarted dreams and disappointments and let downs and then we live in a cloud of consternation which makes our journey a troublesome one. Once we reach this stage others around us start to appear on predefined levels based upon where we are and that has negative values that we find difficult to come to terms with and they too see that we are not fully connected with them and thus relationships start to wane a little if at times diminish into something of a valueless entity. No on should live for the sake of it, feeling wanted and needed is part of the human condition and if we can't accommodate others in our lives then we will render our own purpose on a substandard level.                    

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

MENTALLY HURTING

Everyone goes through a "down time" or two in their lives it's just the way it is, stuff happens, situations arise, outside circumstances change, parameters are no longer stable and whatever it is for us it affects us mentally over time. Initially it can be a shock or it can just escalate into something of its own making. What makes all of it even worse is that when it affects others they tend to react in ways that are seemingly 'out of character' although deep down such traits were possibly always there but until a certain moment of mayhem triggered them off lay dormant. Unfortunately when we are thrown into an alien situation, that the proverbial spanner is thrown into the works and the cogs come to an immediate grinding halt and there's that awful smell of heated metal, it throws us off guard too and even our own self is compromised. It renders our world almost incomprehensible in that we feel we are suddenly in a bubble and there is the world and us, it immediately opens up a temporary feeling of helplessness and it's a destabilising feeling and one that's both lonely, isolated and full of endless mind talk, ponderings and swimming with potential solutions which come and go like the tide itself.

Being mentally hurt not only affects our minds but our whole body too, it literally causes all sorts of aches and feelings of lethargy and takes away any impetus and desire to progress even though deep down this is what's needed and required. It's a strange feeling of isolation as you then look at everyone around you from a different perspective, it's not that they are right nor wrong but none hit the nail on the head as to the cause or any acceptable solutions as it's all a version brought to mind by others and missing detail, clarity, acumen and reality as to it all being feasible. Walking alone in the mist of every day or trying to find refuge for the mind and soul to regenerate is a feat in istelf, clutching on to self esteem and upholding the self virtue is an onward struggle against the endless mind chatter and debased status that lingers around. At times living is like a job in itself, something which cannot be explained to others nor does one want to anyway as it's all so exasperating and infuriating and like juggling with knives, one false move and that's it. Nothing fatal but yet another wound to add to the rest already there and one wound more is one feels the last straw on the camels back. But it's not.

When the mind is circulating in an near overload capacity tempers are quick to emerge, one's self cool is permanently being tempered and restricted otherwise an outburst will flare up and the self regrets will be more than the outburst itself. Where life has two sides the good and the bad where once there wasn't a demarcation line, now there is, where there are those for you and against you where once there wasn't such a thing, where narrow mindedness and understanding have taken opposite corners, and where everything said and done has to be accounted for both within and without. It's a solitary world that spins on its own axis and days and seasons merge into one as if the future is but a dark corridor of dampened potential that holds little hope, although at times hope is all that is seemingly left. But the good news is that it does all change, and like everything that's time related it does become a memory, it becomes part of the past where it's rightfully been consigned. Those intangible events now have solutions, those impenetrable areas of impregnable thought have but dissolved into a new and different understanding. The fears have melted away in a state where new parameters exist and base lines have a new and brighter stance. Where turmoil has given in to a happier resolution that all can join in and take part in a camaraderie that's been absence for so long.

Life regeneration is happening to everyone, but it's only when we take it on board do we find that it actually works, for 'letting go' elevates us from the 'now stranglehold' and breaks those invisible but ugly ties that have for so long been draining the inner self like a vampire constantly flying around looking for blood. When one frees up the 'self' there isn't anything that can touch it as it rebounds all the negativity from those that throw it around trying to gain points and ground at the expense of small and narrow mindedness, this all whithers away and becomes futile. The seemingly unfairness of life isn't what it is, we have no guarantees nor templates, it's us humans that react accordingly and do what we do rightly or not. But everything has its season, its time, and then it fades as other things take over with renewed ground and it's this hope and knowledge that will spur the ability to keep going despite the perceived onslaught in life. The hidden 'enemy' of unreason that listens to  no one but itself dies by its own hand. It all fades away and it is then that one realises that what was something of an ongoing turmoil is now a past memory as life has moved on and better things are being enjoyed.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

THE TIME LINES

Most people regardless of aspirations or desires for their future want to increase their worth as to having things that they would like to have available as opposed to placing them on a "wish list". We are surrounded by a plethora of media and published works depicting how we can achieve anything in life by the purchase of a book or attending a lecture or seminar for a fee. But ah if only it were so easy and so true. If only we had to attend "that" lecture or read "that" book and all would be well, but sadly whilst "that" lecture may be stimulating and "that" book may be gripping reading it very rarely transposes to the attendee or reader. It's not that what was said or confined to paper or our "E" reader isn't true it's just that there is something that is between us and the achievements of those that originated their stance, and it's called a "Time Line".

Life is full of a series of "Time Lines" and in our continuum we face many obstacles that although may be concurrent or parallel in nature to those we seek knowledge from it still has that "Time Line" running between them. How To Make a Million Overnight, Laws of Positive Attraction, How To Bring Success To You, The Laws of Spirituality (whatever those are) the list is endless as are the people who write such things and those that think there is a solution and a "quick fix" out there if only they could just find it. It's often this latter thought process or ideology that "I'm Just Missing Something" that drives people in their hoards to find those saged secrets that have all the answers and from there onwards success is just a matter of time. What is easy for some is just so difficult for others, what comes naturally to some is almost alien to others too, and so it goes on, there isn't a "one size fits all" otherwise such books or lectures would be part of the national curriculum and everybody would be grossly successful.

It may be interesting and indeed informative and to some extent comforting to know what someone had gone through to achieve their success, but that was then, in another time phase, with different circumstances, different people, with different parameters, with different circumstances, with different knowledge, with different thoughts, with different everything even if what you are doing appears almost identical, you are not in that persons shoes in that time. You are right here right now and what was available then isn't of the same order now, it just can't be, although possibly it could even be better now, but it never the less isn't the same and never will be. The bottom line in everyone's success regime is that you have to do it yourself no matter what help you get or advice you get and its got to resonate deep within because if what you are doing isn't inherent then it will be an uphill struggle every day even if what you are doing is you hearts desire.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

HAVING AN AFFAIR

The last time I wrote something on the topic "Affairs" I had the highest number of blog hits ever and still it's getting read and still I get correspondence from it. The many years I've been travelling around the world in my professional capacity I have been got at / approached / boldly faced / cornered / set up / asked out to dinner /enticed to pool parties / weekend homes / enticed into situations or just a corner where people have to tell me about the affair they have had or the "fling" that they have had. It weights so heavily that they go to great lengths to want to tell all and at times it's all on for them to stop them telling me the whole gory details, and yes some actually have DVD's of the whole thing too. It was almost a "Father Confessor" role by default which one shudders at. And with modern technology imagination is left uncompromised it's there in all its glory, although it's something I don't need to see to be conversant with what's just happened or indeed still going on. The trails on mobile devises are the foods Divorce Lawyers or newspapers feed upon.  Many people are quite reticent about discussing their story and details but feel that for their sake they just must tell someone otherwise it's too much to bear to live with for the rest of their lives. The bottom line is that over 90% of people who have had an affair have deeply regretted it, and still years after have within them guilt that they either can't shift or just frightened that they will blurt out something pertaining to it and ruin what they have got. I still have thoughts to this day from certain prominent people that "I wish they hadn't told me that", but they did such is their desire to 'cleanse' themselves of the endless thoughts about it all.

There are cultures and ethnic groups that are known for having affairs but then it tells on their culture that it never actually gets very far because of it. Society has "moral values" and regardless of what ones personal opinions are on that subject, it generally makes a great deal of difference when it comes to family life, trust, respect, education, perception by other people and the future generations that have little self esteem as there was none or little in the home life. When that breaks down crime rises in all areas. The biggest trust bond that people ever make as a rule is that when they have a committed relationship, not the one where you just shack up together because you like each other, the sex is great and it's convenient - for a while. It's the committed relationship whereby you love your partner so much you want to spend the rest of your life with him / her regardless of your job or current circumstances. Anything less always leads to less hence many people in the media are born failures where relationships are concerned.

Most affairs start because they can, we are always going to meet someone somewhere at some point in some situation in our lives that's going to raise a sparkle and renew who we were or bring out what was either dormant or possibly thought lost. The heart starts to beat like no tomorrow and the adrenalin and everything else just elevates the whole sensual system in the body including the mind that ones outlook is taken beyond the present to something more palatable even if it's all transient and ends up quite the opposite. Affairs are not just the confines of sluts, lonely people of a certain age or loose morals, they can happen to anyone anytime, even the most sedate person has feelings and at times our whole mind structure is in need of 'something' to enhance from what is to what should be as the self seems almost oblivious of how to affect such a change. Affairs are deceitful there's no getting away from it, it's often not pre-meditated nor is it engineered other than locating a base for the liaison and at times it's not even the sexual conclusion that's the bit that causes the excitement it's actually meeting someone in an almost clandestine way and being able to communicate and importantly laugh which is just so therapeutic. Most affairs start when laughter is no longer an aspect of life, it doesn't mean that love has flown out of the window but real laughter and a sharing of each other has become robotic and that's when those inner stirrings start to rise often subliminally. However you may be the actual cause yourself of your own affair and as to why this situation has arisen so don't jump to conclusions and immediately blame your partner.

We all know the consequences of what an affair can do even if we have never entertained that aspect of life ourselves. Some get over it, some never get over it and some just go on endlessly like headless chickens wandering aimlessly thinking about that 'other' person out there who is better than the current one. Completely selfishly orientated and never able to give of them selves, always holding back for something better which never materialises. But in our world of "all about me" there is no such thing as "they / he / she made me do it", you did it via your own thought process, and there is no back up to justify it whatsoever (if you don't like the relationship get out of it). There are no counsellors, coaches, shrinks or whatever that will properly justify your action to make you feel better. Whatever you have done you have done on your own, the first touch, the first kiss the first moment of sex it was you who did it no one else did it on your behalf. Unless you make a habit of gross infidelity - and some do - then if you don't face up to it you will forever reap the rearing of unsavoury after effects by always being on your guard and it will show when you are nervous or with other people. Your life is in your hands, your partner failures are your judgement not theirs, if you have endless failures YOU are the common denominator in every one no one else. Always looking for something better will guarantee that you'll always be on the edge in life and as soon as the shine starts to dull, that will be your Achilles heal.
(Part 2 to follow - soon)....

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

HELP ME - PLEASE....

It's of no surprise that right now somewhere someone is desperate for help of some kind, it doesn't matter what it is, desperation is the same for everyone regardless of the nature or the severity of the situation. But further down the line there is a degree of desperation that just doesn't quite hit the 'critial list' yet constantly burns away deep inside of us awaiting a solution that's affecting our life. It's the constant gnawing that 'toothache' that's at the back of our mind that's throbbing away and taking the edge of our every day life, making our small choices and decisions seem larger than they should be and bringing our world into a narrower focus that eliminates or excludes what we could really be enjoying. Whether at work or at home, the feeling that there is just something that's preventing life moving to the 'fast lane' weighs heavily and many people are caught up in this scenario, many that on the outside one wouldn't realise nor see nor even anticipate that such problems exist within them as they smile and get along their daily life as if trouble free. Yet deep within the seas of rage battle against the odds and the inner vision of life is anything but that what appears on the outside.

Help is something that many people steer well clear of and even more so bottle up what they have churning around within for fear that others may judge them on what it is that's bothering them.  It's this mixed emotion of being "thought of" by others that also exacerbates the situation greatly as they then feel locked into a scenario that they don't want to discuss their predicament and feel it's either not that great as to get professional help and again that they will be judged by the professional as being weak or stupid or that they should be able to deal with whatever they are going through but still can't. It's such dilemmas that many face daily and at times problems or mind situations come thick and fast that it can at a certain moment be almost inwardly overwhelming and then sleeplessness sets in and irascibility and one gets on a short fuse and the humour levels diminish and so it all gets worse.

Mental health is one of the biggest problem areas in the West, although it's increasing in the developing world and intermediary worlds too such as those religiously controlled areas that have extremely high mental health issues because of it. If the mental health of a nation flounders then everything goes with it, the Arab Spring which will come to very little in the end will be a curse of those that didn't have the courage and strength of conviction to make a clean sweep, resulting in everyone even the victors whoever they may be suffering at their archaic deeds. It's essential that we like our computers get rid of both the unwanted files and the accumulated redundant information otherwise everything slows up and possibly crashes, as humans we can act in that very same mode, although crashing is something we must strive not to do at all costs.

Help is available in many places even if initially we assume that it isn't or we think it isn't because that way it's easier to absolve ourselves from doing anything, yet at the same time we are only putting off the day of eventuality and a high degree of happiness which we are admonishing whilst keeping our problems at the forefront of our minds. Different things effect different people and it's up to us being experts of ourselves to do something about it. It matters not what others think, if they think bad thoughts you don't need them, otherwise they should be compassionate and sympathetic. Help from whatever source one will find that you are not alone and that feeling of embarrassment and
failure and letting yourself down will immediately be eliminated and a feeling of joy, upliftment, strength and new ability will flow immediately within. Often to the effect of "why didn't I do this before" and to know that you are not alone is also so just so emancipating that ones problems are sent into check straight away and a renewed feeling of ability flows through your whole body.

Whatever your situation respect YOURSELF, forget what others whoever they are think, forget about self created stigma, forget about your own embarrassment - as if you are the only one with a problem, forget about what will the professionals think - they have problems too, forget about anything but getting your problems solved whatever they are it matters not, medical, mental, physical, financial, relationship, situational, family, work, bullying, children, stalking, the list is endless if it's causing concern then it needs to be dealt with and you to get back on track as soon as possible. Getting back into the driving seat is far preferable than to be a passenger in your own life, think hard, fast and quickly make a decision that whatever is troubling you long term, not just temporary events, isn't going to be there any longer and make a move to free yourself up to a better and more rewarding life. One thing to beware is that of selfish concern by family members or friends, who are definitely not experts in your problems and will always give stilted, biased, weighted answers towards what they think and have little regard for yourself. Independent advice is on the whole by far the best solution and one where you can be neutral in what you say and think and feel and without reciprocal emotion which is self generated. It's your life, if you can't do it for you  no one can and if you falter then those around you are of no value either as respect and communication just flies out the window.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

ARE YOU PART OF THE PROBLEM

Endlessly chewing over the past, ruminating over the present and regurgitating the failures, staring at the closed doors, reminiscing at all the endless cul de sac's that you've come across guarantees just one thing, you're never ever going to get a break because you're looking at the past. The future whatever it is is there for you, but if your mind is focused upon other negative things then you are sadly going to miss out on the opportunities, the openings, the entrances, the open doors, the conduits, the fast tracks, the quantum leaps and all the rest. Life is looking forward as that's the direction you are travelling. So many people view life and what's in it as a series of insurmountable events based always on the past or even hereditary conditions or self created visions of fear that stymies all before them. Problems as we perceive them are events that we identify as not being conducive to our need or cause, so that in itself is debatable as to whether it's a problem or not or how we are mentally placed to take remedial or appropriate action to move forward making our perceived problem a thing of the past. Problems vary in magnitude and proportion and thus they happen in our lives and those of others daily, sometimes with devastating consequences others with consequences of little merit that we bolster up and cause to be out of all proportion, this is how we take on board our own thought process and value, selfishness has a great deal to play in how we deal with anything in life.

 

 

Today's increasing "blame culture" is an option that many take to both absolve themselves of any connection to the problem other than to seek the "victim mentality" and at the same time try to solicit the sympathy vote so hopefully someone will try and tackle their problem for them. It seldom works as this route implies deeply within that your own value is of little worth and that your future is not going to be of any worthwhile substance, i.e. life is going to be a struggle hopping from event to event to try and get by. It's got to be said that problems aren't the best thing to happen to us as they nearly always take a bite out of our plans and fill our minds with thoughts of immediate change or even re-routing what we had planned to take in the extra work needed to get back on track again. Having said that the adage "every cloud has a silver lining" can in many instances work to our long term benefit if we have an open mind as to what's happened and not make everything that doesn't go our way as a drama, which some do and some cultures definitely do. The more of an even keel we can keep our thoughts on the better life always is as we can then enjoy the highs and not get bogged down in artificial lows which has a tendency to permanently make us sceptical about life in general, and then we lose out by default.

Whatever besets and befalls us integrates us into the situation, whether it's a car accident, a bereavement, our washing machine spewing water all over the floor, or our TV breaking down just before the favourite late night movie we have been waiting to see. Or that a strike with the airlines has curtailed our long awaited and saved up for holidays, or just before we embark on our house extension we are made redundant, or our beloved partner is diagnosed with a terminal illness, problems exist in all shapes and sizes and are as real to the individual regardless of their magnitude, comparisons are a useless linkage. How we deal with our lives is how we enjoy them or get by ourselves, if we forever tell all and sundry about our problems or indeed anyone who will listen we quickly lose our ability to cope as we give our problem gravitas and thus it starts in our mind to becoming a living reality which takes on a mantle of its own as opposed to a passing incident.

 

 

Whatever involves us needs to be remedied, procrastination only increases the stress factor and aggravates the final act of rectification. We are always part of the problem otherwise there wouldn't be a problem, it's how like everything to do with us we deal with it and mentally place it in a pecking order that makes it workable and effective in its execution or long term understanding. If we don't find mental solace it becomes a nightmare of Hollywood proportions which we then have created a scenario that we have to live by and that in itself will have consequences that will ultimately implode and bring us down even further. We must however never ever lose sight of the good things in life, and the conversations that many put out such as "how can I see good things in life when I'm going through this" etc, or words to that effect just goes to show how narrow mindedness of the self can effectively bring one down and form a platform of unhappiness that may be there for ever. Ingrained thoughts are at times the most difficult to shift and people who create them tend to hold on to them as a crux for their entire future life. We are an entity of our own making, like it or not the smile we have on our face may cover up a whole multitude of unsavoury incidents, but those that make the effort to smile regardless do enjoy the best of what life can bring as opposed to the worst others create themselves.

 

 

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

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