Showing posts with label disappointment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disappointment. Show all posts

Thursday, 30 August 2012

WHEN OUR ASPIRATIONS DON'T COME TRUE

We start off in life with few dreams other than what's on our mind in the immediate future, we know in reality very little so our minds aren't cluttered up with endless possibilities, options or the material values of life. We know what love is but we rarely know what it is called, we don't know what respect is to a large extent and similarly don't understand what disrespect is, but we know what we want or think we what and definitely don't want. In short we are immature, everything we think is a very limited knowledge of life and what our parents have taught us or we have picked up on, so that can explain a lot as to how we think and act. As we get older our minds develop and our aptitudes also likewise form a complex understanding of our abilities, thoughts, intelligence, common sense and ideas as to how we personally would like life to unfold. We often have at least a two pronged version of life ahead, an ideal version and a version that incorporates reality to a very basic degree, however for some the dividing line is very narrow.

Life is a learning curve and sometimes that curve is vertical such is the lesson or lessons that we are confronting and trying our best to sort out. In fact at times so much is happening all at once that we often take a back seat and wonder what it's all about and that will things ever be the same or even just get better. But they do, we struggle or muddle onwards, we come through it all. Some seemingly come through the dark areas quicker than others, but there is usually a reason for this and there is usually something within the self that helps us along or hinders our pathway, attitude being one of the biggest pluses or minuses in our mental conditioning. Dwelling on the problem stop us seeing the solution, telling all and sundry about the state of our life can in effect give it gravitas in as much as it makes it into an even bigger episode and thus we now have to deal with a 'monster' we have created in our mind and try to give updates to those unfortunate ones that are silly enough to listen.

Disappointment shouldn't be an entity in our lives, it shouldn't be a weight that bears down upon us and stifles our creativity or zest to go forward. It shouldn't end up as a regret, nor should it be viewed as any kind of failure, in fact the reality is that all the really great people who have made a difference have failed endless times in their quest to reach whatever it is they were trying to attain. Very few indeed had help either, they were scorned by not only onlookers who were either sceptical or jealous but their own negative families who were in themselves dull, boring and uneventful in their own outlook. Many a person has set out in life to do one thing only to end up doing something completely different and a million miles away from their original thoughts.

As we travel life's high road we are exposed to many people, events and situations that offer opportunities that are way beyond our thoughts and feelings, these often stimulate areas within that laid dormant for many years and possible never ever been evaluated so we have never acted upon same. It doesn't matter what time of life we start something, it's immaterial we need to follow our pathway and not the bystanders pathways who are always full of negativity. We must never ever ask advice from anyone who has an aspiration less than our own, no matter who they are, their answers will be full of their own fears and insecurities. There is but one way in life and that is forward, regrets amount to nothing, wrong pathways account for experience and inner personal desire is ours and ours alone. We must always surround ourselves with positive people as they will want you to succeed even if they are not quite sure what it is you are doing, their sole energy however is love based, and that is enough for success. We must keep an open mind at all times even if we have a defined goal because if we are too rigid then opportunities that become available will float by to those who are more receptive and that enhance areas that we have never even thought about. It's good to be strong and persevere but at the same time expedient to be open to what we don't know which amounts to far more than we do know and there lies the success quotient.

When our original aspirations come to nought or don't materialise in the way we would have liked then it's time to review everything about us and around us. It's not to say downscaling or moving on or changing tack. Life is to be enjoyed come what may and the journey has to be enjoyed too, for if we put off enjoyment until our goal has been reached then it's all far too late and the moments en-route have been lost and if they are lost life is lost or at worst wasted. Not everything will become what we want it to be and we can't compare either, that doesn't hold water, neither does the thought of "it's not fair", etc. We are the masters of our ourselves whatever transpires, and thus we need to be at one with life as it has to be lived, enjoyed, laughed at at, kicked into shape. put into place and when we end up at the finish line all exhausted we can say "what a journey" with peace of mind and a restful heart. Many become successful (and that's subjective)  only to have had no life en-route and they tend to forget the bad times enjoying only what's left. Make sure that whatever happens you enjoy every moment you can as it can't ever be repeated.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

GETTING IT RIGHT

There's one thing that really does 'rattle our cage' and that's when stuff goes wrong. It's so gratifying when our plans or circumstances fall into place it not only makes us feel good we even have a different perspective on life and the world. It's a mixture of compassion, elevation and greater understanding of all that's around us, but boy does it vanish when it all collides and goes awry. In reality it's only our mind that makes us think that way because things are as they are whatever happens the good, the bad and the indifferent, it's all processed by the self same computer - our mind. When we try to get it right it's because we have taken care and hopefully paid attention to what we are doing, so if it goes wrong we should have some idea as to how best to rectify it or pull it all together even if that is not really a very palatable idea. Overcoming disappointment is what most people tend to fall down upon, allowing the negativity of the situation to swirl around in the mind and then feeling sorry and wanting a degree of self compassion makes it even worse. The feeling that one gets in the pit of the stomach adds to the drama of it all, the mind searching for those seemingly illusive elements that we hopefully can latch upon to bring it all around again and make us feel as if nothing has happened, but it has.

It's so important to live your life with a feeling of contentment within and a feeling that you can also 'let go' when necessary too. It doesn't mean that life has to be fabulous and full of the riches that one feels that one deserves, but whatever you have and wherever you are and whatever you are going through an acceptance makes the negative values disappear. Mentally struggling takes up thought volume and in turn that narrows the space needed to process creativity, which in turn retards our thoughts, values and perspectives on life which in turn lowers our awareness and that in turn stops us enjoying the best of what's out there. It's a negative vicious circle each element feeding upon each other going round and round at the expense of our happiness, well being, health, all of which is called 'life'. It's important that whatever we do we do our best at for even at times that doesn't even go according to plan, never the less we get full marks for trying, we get nothing for doing nothing and even little more for doing things half heartedly. It's how we process our thoughts that makes a world of difference and it has amazing change properties within us when we are in alignment with ourselves and follow a purpose and direction whatever that it.

Getting it right is the number one aspect of having a correct 'Attitude', for without a correct attitude we not only don't get on well with life but are often ostracised by those around because they see us as not quite responsive or interested in anything but ourselves and our personal / internal thoughts on life and that 'woe is me' attitude then prevails. We need to respect who we are and at the same time not disrespect others which often goes 'hand in hand' , it's this dichotomy that lowers many people's resistance to moving on as they hold on to it and that's needless baggage. A hot air balloon rises when the ballast (the weights) are dropped and thus allows it to move upwards. Similarly life is very much the same in that if we are full of ballast then we will not only not move up we will stagnate and that will cause problems of its own. Moving on is the only way forward as life evolves whether we move in harmony with it or not we will subliminally be dragged along, so e need to end up where approximately we want o be and not just dumped somewhere because we didn't take any ownership of our existence.   


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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

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