WHEN OUR ASPIRATIONS DON'T COME TRUE

We start off in life with few dreams other than what's on our mind in the immediate future, we know in reality very little so our minds aren't cluttered up with endless possibilities, options or the material values of life. We know what love is but we rarely know what it is called, we don't know what respect is to a large extent and similarly don't understand what disrespect is, but we know what we want or think we what and definitely don't want. In short we are immature, everything we think is a very limited knowledge of life and what our parents have taught us or we have picked up on, so that can explain a lot as to how we think and act. As we get older our minds develop and our aptitudes also likewise form a complex understanding of our abilities, thoughts, intelligence, common sense and ideas as to how we personally would like life to unfold. We often have at least a two pronged version of life ahead, an ideal version and a version that incorporates reality to a very basic degree, however for some the dividing line is very narrow.

Life is a learning curve and sometimes that curve is vertical such is the lesson or lessons that we are confronting and trying our best to sort out. In fact at times so much is happening all at once that we often take a back seat and wonder what it's all about and that will things ever be the same or even just get better. But they do, we struggle or muddle onwards, we come through it all. Some seemingly come through the dark areas quicker than others, but there is usually a reason for this and there is usually something within the self that helps us along or hinders our pathway, attitude being one of the biggest pluses or minuses in our mental conditioning. Dwelling on the problem stop us seeing the solution, telling all and sundry about the state of our life can in effect give it gravitas in as much as it makes it into an even bigger episode and thus we now have to deal with a 'monster' we have created in our mind and try to give updates to those unfortunate ones that are silly enough to listen.

Disappointment shouldn't be an entity in our lives, it shouldn't be a weight that bears down upon us and stifles our creativity or zest to go forward. It shouldn't end up as a regret, nor should it be viewed as any kind of failure, in fact the reality is that all the really great people who have made a difference have failed endless times in their quest to reach whatever it is they were trying to attain. Very few indeed had help either, they were scorned by not only onlookers who were either sceptical or jealous but their own negative families who were in themselves dull, boring and uneventful in their own outlook. Many a person has set out in life to do one thing only to end up doing something completely different and a million miles away from their original thoughts.

As we travel life's high road we are exposed to many people, events and situations that offer opportunities that are way beyond our thoughts and feelings, these often stimulate areas within that laid dormant for many years and possible never ever been evaluated so we have never acted upon same. It doesn't matter what time of life we start something, it's immaterial we need to follow our pathway and not the bystanders pathways who are always full of negativity. We must never ever ask advice from anyone who has an aspiration less than our own, no matter who they are, their answers will be full of their own fears and insecurities. There is but one way in life and that is forward, regrets amount to nothing, wrong pathways account for experience and inner personal desire is ours and ours alone. We must always surround ourselves with positive people as they will want you to succeed even if they are not quite sure what it is you are doing, their sole energy however is love based, and that is enough for success. We must keep an open mind at all times even if we have a defined goal because if we are too rigid then opportunities that become available will float by to those who are more receptive and that enhance areas that we have never even thought about. It's good to be strong and persevere but at the same time expedient to be open to what we don't know which amounts to far more than we do know and there lies the success quotient.

When our original aspirations come to nought or don't materialise in the way we would have liked then it's time to review everything about us and around us. It's not to say downscaling or moving on or changing tack. Life is to be enjoyed come what may and the journey has to be enjoyed too, for if we put off enjoyment until our goal has been reached then it's all far too late and the moments en-route have been lost and if they are lost life is lost or at worst wasted. Not everything will become what we want it to be and we can't compare either, that doesn't hold water, neither does the thought of "it's not fair", etc. We are the masters of our ourselves whatever transpires, and thus we need to be at one with life as it has to be lived, enjoyed, laughed at at, kicked into shape. put into place and when we end up at the finish line all exhausted we can say "what a journey" with peace of mind and a restful heart. Many become successful (and that's subjective)  only to have had no life en-route and they tend to forget the bad times enjoying only what's left. Make sure that whatever happens you enjoy every moment you can as it can't ever be repeated.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

DATING SITES - AN ENTERTAINMENT IN ITSELF

Even the top dating sites today and there are dozens of new versions springing up every week boast of only about 5% success rate so what happens to the other 95% who join, who are they, what are they and what are they looking for, surprisingly it's not always a date. Dating sites are becoming more personal versions of the social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter but with a more intimate twist, the myth that dating sites are specifically honed to producing a mate are just that, the law of averages puts all that firmly into place as does the fact that "personal chemistry" is something that can't be commercially applied to data. From the outset there's always a fascination about dating sites in that people whether coupled or single like to know or feel that "others" like or find them attractive, it's a boost to the ego, so if you have an ego that's pulsing then you are already a candidate for those who "just like to see" or "find out" for no other reason than you can. The beauty about personal dating sites is that it's there 24/7 and you can follow your "You have mail" replies from your mobile / iPad / tablet or PC whenever you like, it's always exciting to see that someone somewhere has responded even if it isn't that brilliant a response.

The trouble with most people is that they have perceptions about themselves and of course, ego, anger, skepticism, arrogance, fear, failure and degrees of down right stupidity, as well as a varying level of intelligence that take the edge of accuracy, however that very essential if not crucial thing called "common sense" needs to be in abundance. Either have it or you don't your educational levels mean nothing if you haven't got common sense. So many people get so easily flattered and taken in by the first few words of endearment that they fail to see past them and respond accordingly, from that moment on the other person knows you are  potential "game". And even if you respond with a crude and acerbic reply because that's the crude acerbic person you are it gives them a challenge to try and woo you over, and that often works too, in fact crude acerbic people are their own downfall, but there again so is arrogance and that has no base levels and the pit is bottomless.

Not having a partner or able to find one is of course a prime factor in joining a dating site, but then so is loneliness (which is perhaps the biggest reason) and there onwards finding "like minded" others at whatever level is entertaining, and game for what you can develop thereafter. You can liaise with your dating sites and "contacts", especially when you get home late, get ready for bed and in the privacy of your own home chat about whatever you like until you decide enough is enough until tomorrow.  As long as you pay your monthly fee (after all it's a commercial concern not a benevolent site for your best interest) off again you go until tomorrow. It fulfills a purpose, it passes away the time it does give a degree of emotional satisfaction even if hollow in nature and the chance to commune with 1000's of potential people is exciting. For some On Line Dating is a way of life, their whole focus shifts from being lonely to being reclusive in that they now rarely don't go out at all so fixated are they with strangers and possibly established contacts exchanging degrees of correspondence.

In the On Line world there are the liers, cheats, sex addicts, the deceitful, scammers, chasers, fetish merchants, game players, entertainers, the lost, the bewildered, psychopaths, the unstable, the neurotic, weirdos, the desperate, egotists, freaks, some nice people, and of course the lonely as well as those who are there to pray on the unsuspecting and feeble to solicit money by their hard luck stories - and it works well. All this 95% latter group of people make up who are there on the dating site presumably all having inaccurately filled in the questionnaire seeking a perfect mate. Unfortunately people aren't even honest with themselves so from day one there is a discordance with whom they are and what they seek, based predominantly on a modified ideal as opposed to an honest base and accurate self. The chasers seek to chase compliant contacts but never want to meet - this gives them the buzz, this accounts for many transactions, even those who often don't really like each other correspond because they can and it gives some degree of mutual support even though much of it is lies and empty content. It's better to have a few people "on the go" than nothing, there's nothing worse than going to your mail box" to see it empty or not signed to say "you have mail". It's a psychological thing that many in particular women need to have to feel involved, even if disappointment is the on going feeling. However after a while disappointment turns into a "game" and that game becomes for many habitual and one then turns most into an expert in answering and reading into profiles and messages which even further on takes the "Dating Game" to another level. It's almost now like "on Line Gaming" where skill in judgment takes over from sincere passion and lust is but a point scoring bonus.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

ADVANCED LIVING

How we get on in life can at times be something of a lottery in that what we expected can suddenly just go out of the window and we are left standing pondering about what to do next and more to the point how do we go about what to do now as our mind goes blank. We like to think we have the potential to stave off "negativity" in our lives or that perhaps we are resourceful and should events arise of a not so nice nature we can cope. Sadly for many when the Tsunami of life really does hit then it's a real shock, whether it's health, relationship, financial, work related or whatever else it can be the  mind takes a hit and the aftershock can be devastating, knocking one's self esteem and self security into a frenzy of  nothingness. However we plan our future it's a bit like flying an aircraft, we need to make course corrections en-route otherwise we will not arrive at our destination. Many people get to where they are in life by default, sometimes where they end up is not quite that accessible and it renders life more of an existence of living as opposed to a place which is harmonious and joyful and brings with it that feeling of excitement every day they get up.

Wealth has very little to do with enjoying life even if it brings with it opportunities or the availability of more options. As hard as it may appear or seem or not wanted to be understood is that our happiness is within us, what we can't achieve or our ego or desire can't access causes us untold inner mayhem that plays on our mind as an almost subliminal programme that is constantly replaying itself thus taking the edge off of life. Our success is always relative, what others appear to have as success is but a culmination of circumstances which produce a result, and just because those circumstances of the self are not of a similar proportion does not mean anything less. Our own personal ideology and take on life plays a vital part too in how we both assess life and how we thus accordingly respond to it, so we can in effect be the cause of our own downfall of short comings in life. It's at this point that many people make an assessment of themselves one which is grossly unfair or even based on a fallacious substance but never the less causes them to feel out of kilter with life and what they think they should feel like and it then starts to bring them down to a level which is purely self induced.

Our personal stability is the vital link to happiness, contentment, fulfillment, purpose, definition and that fabulous feeling that we can get that life is good regardless of circumstances and what is displayed on the news. If we don't have this and many don't then life is forever a series of ups and downs and struggles and wishes and thwarted dreams and disappointments and let downs and then we live in a cloud of consternation which makes our journey a troublesome one. Once we reach this stage others around us start to appear on predefined levels based upon where we are and that has negative values that we find difficult to come to terms with and they too see that we are not fully connected with them and thus relationships start to wane a little if at times diminish into something of a valueless entity. No on should live for the sake of it, feeling wanted and needed is part of the human condition and if we can't accommodate others in our lives then we will render our own purpose on a substandard level.                    

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

WORLD SEGREGATION

Whatever your belief, your understanding, your knowledge, your grasp on life there's always more, there's always that bit extra that you don' know of or what doesn't rest comfortably within so you tend to skirt over it and peddle the other stuff that more easily flows off the tongue or the pen. Then of course there is the self bias too, and your religious leanings they have a lot to do with your stability and failure rate, and some of the biggest religions have the biggest predominance of instability and failure, no guesses here. It's important that one understands too where life is taking us otherwise like the vast majority they will just follow and fail then blame everyone else like happens in the Middle East and much of Africa where hysteria is a part of life. It's almost as if wholesale happiness has been eradicated by religion that supports no one and that their God never ever helped anyone ever and where they have less success than all others in the world, they don't deserve it yet bring it on themselves. Believing in something that never happens isn't a way of life it's a sad indictment to indoctrination and nothing more. It also has resolutely massive drawbacks as the world speeds up, and believe what you like things are going to get far worse for many, even if initially nothing will seem to dramatically happen. But like many an illness it's there for a long time until it all of a sudden strikes and then sadly it's all too late.

Even in Western countries there will be enormous changes and structural disruption especially with many migrant families for if integration isn't on their agenda and they seek the status of misplaced persons, i.e. foreigners of identity living in another country then doom will be their only reception in life and the option to do a U turn will not be available as no one will want to know. Chances need to be taken when expedient not when one feel they have the luxury to suite themselves. Life does not carry passengers, nor does it suffer fools, egotists, religious or political stupidity. Whilst our climate is going through a new metamorphosis as it has done many times before, what's happening now is nothing new even if it's outlined to be a man made event. Much of the bias towards global warming and carbon offsetting and the like is commercially and politically backed and will result in the usual corruptness that's self created and failure and mayhem will result. It's not that we shouldn't be better placed and cleaner it's like everything else it's usually left to the incompetent and narrow to do what others don't want to do.

The global political speak of integration is but a facade and rifts, segregation, splitting apart, isolation, multi-level partitions, etc are already taking place by those that can and do and those that don't and can't. There is a definite shift to enlightenment in life a feeling of greater understanding and a knowledge of what 'it's' all about even if it takes into account a degree of a lack of complex understanding also. Evolution isn't a pretty picture outlined by school teachers at primary school, nor New Age Evangelists, nor whet Religious freaks who say what they think they ought to say as apart to what is expedient. It's all about being yourself today more than ever before as that will by default separate you out and allow you to further your cause without the dross of others who want to stifle and control and the inept politically correct who have no purpose in life at all. Blame doesn't have a place in life, even if there is truth in what it purports to be, blame isn't an answer that has impetus to going forward, what's done has been done progress is either moving onwards or rectifying what has happened to a degree, the past cannot be reversed but it can be forward amended. 

Celebrating individuality in today's society is a way or reducing unity, and to celebrate for the sake of it is a profoundness of diminished responsibility by those who have very little vision, understanding and foresight. It produces isolated individuals and communities that are less likely to integrate, to hold on to old ways, to feel negatively different and not be able to communicate with everyone else efficiently, it will separate out to produce outcasts and 'looked down upon' people many of whom will never recover the psychological onslaught. Celebrating diversity is fine for the educated but for third world immigrants they will come from one third world environment to creating another in the west and that will result in a massive "us" and "them" which is in evidence now. Enlightenment is the only way forward, but as politicians are themselves unenlightened little hope of that exists and for the main it will all only get worse in the foreseeable future.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 137 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

PURSUING HAPPINESS or CREATING HAPPINESS

Which category do you fall into - a pursuer or a creator of happiness, or haven't you thought about it. Or are you a dabbler in all of them, do you perceive you are happy then at the same time try to see if you could be happier or want to read the odd article on happiness just in case you think you've missed something? Many people fall into the latter situation in that they are relatively happy yet still are interested in what others have to say as if walking around them are experts on the subject. And in fact many writers on the subject of happiness are far from it themselves, they are so conversed with the theoretical technicalities that their heart is stone cold and they look at everything strategically as opposed to humanely and tabulate rules as if they have found a formula, whereas they haven't at all, it's all mumbo jumbo in their minds. If you pursue happiness then you have not only lost the plot already there is something wrong with how you think, feel and perceive life which will definitely have a bearing upon your life and your interaction with every area within it. Similarly is you see others as enjoying life or even worse the sadness that's around as opposed to the happiness around then you've got a real mind shift that's verging on the negativity of life and again that will affect your judgement and thoughts and perceptions in every thing you do and every area of life in fact you are probably as exciting as dish water in your outlook.

Society for many appears to have lost what is basically inherent within, and when something isn't quite what it should believe that there is somewhere a "Help Line" or a potion at the Pharmacy which will quickly and effectively like a laxative get you going once again, and when they find that there isn't such a thing an almost inner panic sets up as to "now what". Fortunately most people are happy all around the world, something I've seen and experienced first hand, and whilst some cultures are a bit dull and subservient the overall effects of happiness are to be seen. Many single people today predominantly women over 30 but not exclusively seem to find happiness hard, it's not that men of similar circumstances don't it's just that their minds are more logical and thus tend to accept it more and just do what they have to do to get the best out of life, even if it isn't much in reality. (set in your ways syndrome).

Happiness is a state of being, you create it no one can create it for you nor enjoy it for you, your mind is where you live nowhere else so it's your outlook, perception, mind thoughts that produce the outward signs of happiness regardless of circumstances and situations. Everything is you, so blaming everything and anything isn't an answer. You have to live with yourself 24/7 no one else, not even your partner, so if you can't do it for yourself or you allow negative emotions, greed, anger, jealousy, moodiness, selfishness, envy, pride, etc, to take over, then they will, no one can do anything about it but you. If you compare your life or aspects of it to others the you'll always feel down, if you have permanent grand ideas and want then you'll always fail, if you have aspects of jealousy or the "it's not fair" mentality then it won't be fair ever. If you treat life as 'you' and 'everyone else' then that's how it will be, if you make yourself moody and selfish then you will lose everything, if you can't make an effort no one else will help you why should they you are worthless by your own actions. If you can't find "real" friends then it's you not because they don't exist, no excuses as to location of lifestyle it's you firmly and squarely. You are the interface with life no one else, you have happiness built in, like a new car with all the gadgets, if you don't use them so be it, but don't complain they don't work when you can't be bothered to click the buttons.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

EASTER - NEPHRESH, PSYCHEKOI & SHEKINAH

Easter, whatever it means to you, if anything at all these days, doesn't alter the fact that it still exists, and if you are one of the new breed of people who when asked about belief or what religion you are put down as "spiritual" then you have just rendered yourself as truly pathetic. Partly because there is no such thing and also the vast majority of people who categorise themselves as spiritual have no concept or ability to define it. Most people are more likely to be able to define the word "moron" than spirituality. But for those of you who want an explanation below is a dictionary definition:-

Spirituality refers to an ultimate or an alleged immaterial reality; an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of his/her being; or the “deepest values and meanings by which people live.” Spiritual practises, including meditation, prayer and contemplation, are intended to develop an individuals inner life; spiritual experience includes that of connectedness with a larger reality, yielding a more comprehensive self; with other individuals or the human community; with nature or the cosmos; or with the divine realm. Spirituality is often experienced as a source of inspiration or orientation in life. It can encompass belief in immaterial realities or experiences of the immanent or transcendent nature of the world.

It begs the question that if you now define yourself as above to anyone would they believe that that is you, overwhelmingly the vast majority would just stare back in total disbelief and suggest you stop taking the tablets or possibly increase the dosage whichever is appropriate, or even change your therapist and get your money back.

The Nephresh which is in everyone is there for a purpose although like many aspects of life we look for the tangible because we are basically a gullible society and what we deem as intangible we therefore dismiss. Like the gas helium which been there forever until it was discovered it remained just there, as we couldn't see it, smell it, taste it,detect it and thus it had no purpose until one day it was discovered and today it's used even in the balloons in children's parties. The lower life thinkers of planet earth will never know of the bigger picture and lower life thinkers have nothing to do with intelligence or lack of it. Our soul is but an aspect of our pathway, even agnostics, atheist and whatever other categories exist have it, although their death will be permanent.

Many thinkers are not bestowed with the fruits of wisdom lost as they are in 'conciousness zones' between intellect and sovereign soul, often because of this limited and biased thinking based purely upon self perception, nothing more, their thinking is often neutralised and they live a life of self irascibility not totally engaging in life but enough to keep them afloat. The Psychekoi encompasses this and further but grossly limited projections and perceptions of life, often such people perceive they know more than they do which is where it sadly all comes unstuck. And sadly is the operative part for their desire to know more is by default their self limiting factor and thus progress is but a series or concentric circles or at best a helix of slow gradient that never reaches it's potential or goal.

The Shekinah the inner universe of the Holy spirit or spirit for the atheist contingency, is for those who aspire eventually within themselves leaving the conjecture of the those who deploy commercialism or ego and arrogance to the self. The more in today's society we can get away from the materialistic power of greed (which doesn't mean we can't use the latest gadgets  or wear designer clothes, etc,) elevates our mind concept and free us from the elements of life which subliminally hold us back. The Shekinah is however on the molecular level but that should not deter the free thinkers who should be able to transcend staid concepts under the auspices of 'anything is possible' without reverting to fantasy.

The speeding up of life is exciting as we can see in our lifetime massive changes, it does however bring with it changes of a gruesome nature too, often it brings the mind to a place where 'why' is ponderable as answers aren't forthcoming, but this is the moment that atheist and the like die and the rest live on. Science at times is it's own worst enemy and too few are genuine forward thinkers allowing whatever is in front of them to materialise no matter how "zany" it may seem at the time. For everyday folk entrenched in media hype and sensationalised rhetoric it's 'business as usual' chasing their tail and then wondering why life never gets better. And like dogs that at times eventually catch their tail it all ends up as "now what"?  The broadening of  wisdom, understanding life itself is widening, as television and magazines play on 'reality slots' or the ZOO slots, making fun out of unfortunate people, similar to the times when the Romans threw prisoners into the arena with lions or gladiators for entertainment, we haven't come that far just added technology.    

Happy Easter everyone....

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others).

THE MULTIPLICITY EFFECT

Decisions, decisions, decisions, should I do this or that, should I go here or there, should I stay in or go out, oh the choices of a single person, the choices that at times they have to wrestle with just to try and keep themselves occupied and do something to try and alleviate that feeling of boredom or stagnation or even reverting to laziness. Of course age plays a very influential part in what one does in life and the experience one has attained to date so those that haven't done much see everything as a feat of dexterity and those that have done a lot see it as an option. Couples see life as something different as they "should" be considering their relationship as "we" or "us" and if you don't you aren't a serious couple or there is a convenience built into the relationship over and above than supposedly common denominator love. Loveless relationships are forever growing hence they never last and when the real thing pops us it just proves that what you were going through wasn't up to much, and in fact you weren't up to much for kidding yourself that what you had was of value, it wasn't.

The Multiplicity effect is more of a status of today where original and free thought is more intermingled with ego, the self and how we appear to others. It's all interlaced with separating our minds between work which keeps us occupied and that free time we covet yet at times lavishly waste on doing nothing but thinking a lot about or worse still want others to think we are busy, occupied, having a great time, enjoying life when it's all quite the opposite. A lot of this life reposting goes on and it's not necessary as over time it literally clouds our thoughts and causes bouts of insecurity and aggravation and even sad or unhappy moments when internal reflection can't think of a solution as to how to change it all. The worst thing we can do and this is common too is to think we are smart and know more about living and life than others do, because with that statement in our thoughts we miss out terribly on companionship, even events that engage us and we lose the ability to "feel" life we just experience it from an intellectual point of view which then leaves us feeling cold and awaiting something else ahead to give us the boost we want. Many people even feel torn between wanting to be with someone for company but be on their own at the same time, and even get really phased out by making arrangements themselves preferring forever impromptu happenings as they then feel free, but sadly still empty within even if a moment has been filled.

Of course we are all different, but our feelings resonate just the same way, we have emotional needs some more than others but we still have them and if those are quashed or not fulfilled then we start to wander off course and hypothesise about everything around us which then we really start to "lose the plot". Often we have an "idea" of whom we are which is our version of whom we are and it could well be very near to that of how others perceive us, but from afar, and it's that "from afar" aspect that really makes a difference between us living with ourselves and our perception of life and us in it and those who like / love us for the bits they know, which is quite a different thing. Living a full life can be a myriad of different things to different people, just because one is exceptionally busy and gets around doesn't mean it's more fulfilling it just means one gets around and is exceptionally busy. The fulfilment aspect is very personal so everything needs to be viewed in perspective and it's all circumstantial too. Being honest with the self is paramount to one's enjoyment of life, even if at times it seems to be slow and dull, nothing is ebullient all the time, and our attitude and what's ahead of us makes a difference to our 'hope' factor as we can then plan or pre-plan where we are going to go as opposed to treading water and looking at a nothingness in front of us.

Life's harmony is all around, we choose to see what we want to see, and where some are oblivious of their surroundings and situations others are absorbing beauty and the vibes of what to them makes life worth living. Some cultures are "cultured" and educated into what is available whereas others are so wrapped up in themselves and taboos that they are predominantly insular and forever being subject to unhappiness and negative events that they attract. For every individual being yourself isn't a "smug statement", that is saying it and then worrying about not being able to carry it out, it's a harmony of the self that allows you to walk amongst the many and not be affected, few have this ability of oversight and feeling. Whatever it is many people can greatly improve their lives by letting go of the self constraints they at times wrestle with in order to try and keep their perceived status, sad because you lose yourself to conjecture and then nothing that remains is that good anymore.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others).

TRYING TO MAKE LIFE WORK

More than ever people are trying to carve a life out for themselves based upon what isn't going as well as they perceive. Better house / flat, clothes, car, spending money, entertainment, gadgets, tv-phone-Wii-Xbox, the list is endless. And of course that base thought about the 'self 'and their relationship or getting one, and not everyone is set out to be a couple despite that they think that would make life complete for them, no it wouldn't. Stick to a "best friend" that way you won't be able to fall out because of not getting your own way or reluctantly having to frequently compromise - which you wouldn't like. It is difficult for many people to gain a better access to a life standard which they deem that they are worthy of than they have at this present moment, but often the change is an internal adjustment rather than an external acquisition, even though that would prove a nice thing. There's absolutely nothing wrong with trying to get a better stance on life after all it's there awaiting so it's not always pie in the sky, it can be real. But often the striving negates the present and if that happens to be the case then real instability of personal understanding starts to take over and what could have been good in the present is reduced to mediocre. Our mental attitude also plays a vital part in life and as to our enjoyment of it every day and not just certain aspects of it with somewhat bland times in between.

Depression, anxiety, boredom, lack of fun, lack of real camaraderie, lack of heartfelt warmth from a significant other / friends. Lack of silliness, lack of personal conversations at all levels with those you can 'talk to' and empathise with, being told off by your best friend - because you really haven't got one, sharing, etc. All these things make a significant difference to the quality of life for the individual. No matter who we are and whether we have 100's of 'so called' friends all over the globe there are those few or one that makes life just so much more enjoyable because you love them. We are all different but our basic needs are very similar, and whether we are globetrotters or sedentary that 'anchor' makes a difference. Our perspective on life and our attitude defines who we are, and those struggling already find that the going can get to an intolerable level because their base understanding in life isn't there. If focus is predominantly on 'hardship' it's difficult to opt out of that mode when faced with it, but if the subtleties of humanity are not there then real desperation and irascibility of the mind becomes more than real and develops into a place where life becomes cruel and the 'way out' seems none existent.

Despite the physicality's of what each person may or may not have life is relative and happiness isn't subject to comparisons nor is it a product of what is to come or may come along. Families can find life at times a struggle if not financially more mentally seeing their young grow into young adults and all the aggressive social problems that they face at increasingly younger ages than they did years ago. Manufacturers and advertising agencies are merciless at recruiting new recruits hoping to wean the impressionable and immature on to their products. They deny this but they are liers. Your children are to an extent a product of your parentage as indeed you are, failure often starts at home in a whole manner of areas, selfishness is almost borne in the home and is not a redeemable asset to have as it stultifies goodness and communicational skills. Whether we are going through a recession or good times it makes no difference to the happiness factor if it does it shows what a chameleon you are and your own susceptibilities to life. There are more "millionaires" made in times of recession than actually in the 'good times', and more creativity is in evidence too. If we need better there has to be a reason other than "just wanting it", if better is an accessory or an adjunct to life it will lose its ability to support our emotional needs, if it's deemed as an essential then we have to enjoy what we have now otherwise our emotional contact with it will forever thwart where we are currently living.

We create our own reality, thus we can either live and like life, even if not perfect or we can forever create an ambient struggle that we have devised and rarely try to accomplish as it's on a wish list more than a physical desire. Sadly today few people actually live their own lives according to what they want to do, it tends to be a homogeneous structure of bits from everywhere else which doesn't totally rest well within and causes an on-going instability and a feeling or unrest without cause.Trying to make like work doesn't work, you literally have to make it work then it works, trying is the journey which for most is a smart theory, making it work is a deed of sheer progress and determination, winners and losers.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012 

SECOND GUESSING LIFE

We all like to get on in life, to think we are the masters of what we want to do and where to go etc, yet how many people let themselves down by trying to foresee events and situations and read the thoughts of others only to thwart their own plans for no other reason. We have around us even in our own families grumpy people, opinionated people and we can even have friends who are like that, it all stems out of both narrow mindedness and again that area called selfishness. The area that's "all about me" and if it isn' then I'm not going to be happy and what's more I'm going to tell everyone as well. It even happens in companies too, you can't do this or that or it will upset so and so, well, let it, what divine presence are they bestowed with that others aren't? Nothing what so ever it's all been created by themselves for themselves and the only reason it's gotten this far is that everyone has allowed it to happen. Like political correctness, it doesn't exist in law it's only the pathetic that find it's a place to hide and try and gain some kudos, whereas it makes everyone look small and insular.

Schools should teach people to make their own way in life far better than they do, it's great to learn about writing, reading and maths, plus all the other life skills and knowledgeable areas, but if we are frightened to do anything it's all come to nothing in the end and produces a whole array of negative areas and psychological events that after a while subliminally affect us, sometimes to great detriment. It can affect our own self esteem and our ability to not do as well as we could do, especially at the impressionable ages. The classic scenario of this was the black migration from Chicago to New York and vice versa years ago where many black families prayed upon their own children for doing well, as if it made the children seem better and the families not as good, so the children had to leave to be free. And whilst it worked well, in as much as the children did well it's definitely not an ideal start in life having to leave home or your own town or city just to get on. Being able to fight back, metaphorically can be am amazing and liberating experience, and once and for all put those 'cloth heads' who impose a self status of grandeur (or inferiority with ego) back into the sorry state they deserve to dwell in or perhaps see the light themselves and become anew at their enlightened knowledge.

Too few people have the self ability to challenge and that applies to management in companies too to equalise the status quo and give respect back to everyone, and not allow some to reside with a self devised pomp and stature which is definitely not deserved nor has any credence or credential. It used to be that many Asian families has demarcation lines and endless duties and "things" that couldn't be said or done otherwise someone somewhere would get upset and start to perform an anger ritual of gross selfishness and endless winging, it still exists but less now. Of course if someone imposes whether it's within the family or work or even with strangers an autonomy of grandeur then it's a mixture of abject selfishness and a lack of self esteem, and it's very easy to eradicate it, because once such people are toppled they are but putty in your hand, worthless entities and shown up for what and who they are and have then absolutely nothing to substantiate themselves anymore.

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© John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

SPIRITUALITY - IN A NUTSHELL

It's strange what people say about "spirituality" they have their own potted views and thoughts on it yet very few indeed know what it's all about. If you ask someone straight off, "What's Spirituality"? 99% of replies would start with "errrr" instantly trawling their minds for an explanation or something smart to say. And even after some time don't come up with a succinct answer it's usually some kind of waffle even if they get the gist of it right. It's really not however that important that one knows what "spirituality" is all about as it's not going to further your cause in life, but at the same time if one is going to use the word to describe some aspect of life you feel has a degree of importance then one should at least know what it really does infer and that one is on the right lines. The following is a relatively comprehensive dictionary explanation of "Spirituality".

"Spirituality can refer to an ultimate or immaterial reality an inner path enabling a person to discover
the essence of their being; or the “deepest values and meanings by which people live Spiritual practices, including meditation, prayer and contemplation, are intended to develop an individuals inner life; such practices often lead to an experience of connectedness with a larger reality, yielding a more comprehensive self; with other individuals or the human community; with nature or the cosmos; or with the divine realm. Spirituality is often experienced as a source of inspiration or orientation in life. It can encompass belief in immaterial realities or experiences of the immanent or transcendent nature of the world".

Whilst the above may resonate with many people the bottom line with it all is that they "think" spirituality but literally do nothing whatsoever to be spiritual, it just sounds good to mention and an applaudable state to be in. People even talk in soft "spiritual tones" talking about the Universe and Mother Earth and psychic enchantments, they wax lyrical about incantations and a whole load of stuff of past mystical cultures which were so good they've all vanished, and yet these self same so called 'spiritual' people always seem ill and lost in life, never really connecting with anything and are often lonely. It's almost as if many have turned to a "spiritual" route (whatever that is) as a last resort to find a missing piece or fill that eternal void within the pit of their stomach. Whilst there are endless books written on religion, the only books written on "spirituality" and "laws of spirituality" and anything else in the genre are written by current day authors and delving into their past doesn't really bring up the true goods of credibility. And if being on a "spiritual" pathway was that good why aren't millions flocking in sincerity to join and make the world a better place because they aren't. The trouble with "spirituality" is that it's anything you want it to be, it's a great cop out for most people to have the "best of both worlds" do as you want yet when needed spout the rhetoric of the next best thing to God. It's all sad and debased and pathetic really, in fact the irony is that most so called "spiritual" people need more help with their own life stability than those that don't go anywhere near it. People who tend to wax lyrical about "spiritual" stuff are often not the most stable, creative nor fun to be with and many lack any degree of humour, all the stuff than one needs to commune ably with others and life.

Mental health is the biggest problem within the Western World, fortunately it's not the clinical variety but that which has been brought about by the self, it's self inflicted, and the plethora of coaches and psycho-babblers apart from enjoying a good living are really not much better themselves, in fact many are seeking therapy also which is evident from the way they talk and their facial or tonal expressions - (is nothing scared)! We get fat if we over eat, (no one gets fat on fresh air - no excuses), if we feed our minds detritus we get the residual rubbish that's subliminally left, and then we start to be part of the rubbish we have had as a constant diet. Like cholesterol if not treated or dietary controlled it builds up on our arteries, similarly mental rubbish also builds up until at some point we tend to lose the plot, often it's almost too late when that realisation takes place. But back to "spirituality" (it's all linked) if we feign being spiritual because we think it's good, we fool ourselves and indeed let ourselves down. The biggest value we can ever have that keeps us under the best control against everything is "love" for that's the largest common bond on planet earth - and I've been around this planet dozens of times and seen dozens and dozens of cultures and it works in every one. Without love we become drones, with love we become humans, there is a big difference and that's life itself, be a part of it and not dwell on being an alien in your own world (even if you think it sounds good and gives you an instant self created credential).

There are "spiritual" groups all over the place and predominantly filled by single people (usually 30+) or "older couples" all with time on their hands and all seeking "words of wisdom" as if there are "gurus" who hold the key to life and will impart such to them and then "all will be well". There are gurus but not at these meetings, and "no" all will not be well, you have to put something into the equation too, which you are not at the moment hence your own plight. Even more ironic is the "spiritual cloud" which people almost always hide behind and that's the fact that they are unhappy, unfulfilled and need purpose, and their erroneous belief that in wading down the spiritual route it will give them all that is missing in an instant, again it just goes to show how wrong one can be or misinformed. One "becomes" spiritual in the way of thought and conduct, then by default one is automatically enrolled in to the "spiritual pathway". Like everything in life there is an "entrance fee" whatever that is, it's not financial at all it's a deep inner credential and honest and sincere thought with dedication, not the fastidious dedication that leads to dull boring people and fanatics but an overall concept of understanding. Communing with others and life is a good start, if some others don't get on with you fine, just do your bit and it will take shape.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

LONELINESS, SOBRIETY AND INNER PEACE

There is almost in epidemic proportions today a degree of loneliness which is sweeping through the lives of many people and it's causing them a great deal of concern and consternation as they can't either fathom or understand why it is they are feeling the way they do. Similarly many people are feeling isolated or are having problems with regards meaningful personal relationships, they have possibly many friends or more accurately acquaintances but the depth of how they interact it tersely, usually at a distance like we interact with many on Facebook from afar. We can discuss quite deep and quite meaningful topics on both Facebook and Twitter yet it all means nothing as it's for many an outlet of hollow proportions and empty feelings, empathy is probably as far as we get to that proverbial 'hug', but it's seldom more as everyone has a life of their own and it's not something distance nor a public display of feelings renders itself as sincere even if it is possible meant as such.

Loneliness falls predominantly into three categories, those who are housebound or locationally isolated, although many aren't lonely as they have good people around them, those that self isolate themselves via selfish motives and excuses - which accounts for the majority, and those who have relatively good and busy lives and yet feel literally lonely - where those around them and life just doesn't quench that inner feeling. Loneliness from the outset may not seem as debilitating as many an illness or condition that some have, yet from loneliness can stem illness itself, paranoia, delusions, narrow thoughts, isolation, reclusiveness, lost love, lost hope, lost peace, lost humanitarian instincts, lost communicational skills, gross selfishness - which is a big problem, and getting into a rut so deep and entrenched that it's almost impossible to get out of.

Our inner peace is a great aspect of our life, it's nothing to do with our desire to get on or create or our ambition, it's all about us and how we feel, it's that personal. It has nothing to do with getting the latest gadget or designer clothes those desires actually fill us with a degree of inferiority as we feel we need them to enhance our 'self' whereas we don't, even if they prove useful or attractive. So many people let themselves down to their own emotions and then wonder why things aren't as they would really want. Not only does letting ourselves down eventually show, we become deceptive to others and ourselves as our desire consumes much of our thoughts and our will to do things often creates our failure as we then overlook aspect of work or life based upon our greed for an end result, which is often never as anticipated as it's negatively constructed.

Inner peace for the fickle and ignorant isn't worth much, why waste your time on inner peace when there are material things to do to take our mind off of life. Inner peace to the lonely doesn't happen they make sure of that, being precious, conceited and selfishness puts paid to ever finding what would really make them happy. Inner peace to those that one "would think" should be far from lacking in that department is an idealistic view of what you are as a person and where your real priorities lie and neither co-join. Our attitude very much determines who we are and how we walk through life, none of this stupid "self help" or pathetic "finding happiness" when it's not lost. Where failure really makes it's name a house hold entity is when everyone goes out looking for something that they carry around with them, thinking that solutions and answers are with other people. Of course other people don't possess what you have already within you so can't help even if the solitary experience is uplifting, it doesn't last. It's like having a glass or two of scotch and all seems well, but then tomorrow it's all worn off and nothing has changed.

Loneliness makes one precious and introverted in thinking, tiredness is also an aspect that lonely people get used to and forever feel they need their sleep, which is usually a cop out to being bored and a lack of stimulating thought, although it could in some manifest as insomnia. Communing with life is essential but like everything in life it's quality not quantity, and not going to mix with other lonely people to exchange the same views on the same subjects as if exchanging notes knowing that it will lead to nought in the end. Love is a big aspect with lonely people, they often feel the need for it yet are fearful of it taking a hold of them for some reason and that it might just change their solitary and calculated lifestyle where they lose control to an additional input, which would never do. The Catch-22 which often exists in their lives is one which they get used to and the option of not making a commitment is one which is usually taken in preference, even if invitations are accepted for events or holidays, it's still the lone wolf trying to acquiesce to the herding instinct and never quite comes off.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012