SHARING - THAT FEELING

One of the greatest feelings you can ever have is that of sharing, sharing moments with strangers via a common understanding of whatever has happened or been seen, even without saying a word. Or most deeply heartwarming is that of the sharing of loved ones and friends a part of your life regardless of the incident or situation. Even sharing a moment together of great distress is a moment in reflection of the gratitude of that person being there at that time that helped so much and brought a real presence of what life and humanity is all about. There's nothing better than being able to share your partner, your children, your parents, your very close friends that at times are even closer than relatives. The feeling that you can say and do and confide and be silly (or worse) in their company and laugh it all off because they not only love you but respect you and deep down like to feel that when you share you share, it's not a conditional relationship it's "anything goes" and you both or all lap it all up for what it''s worth. That warm comforting feeling, that almost smug feeling on invincibility that life just can't get better that material values are at those moments just worthless as they are objects without heart or soul.

It's essential to us all that we can share with others for if we don't or can't then it makes us both hard within and forms a mental barrier that hinders our ability to communicate efficiently and with depth. Sharing with pertinent others also allows us to share with those we don't like or don't trust or those who are in effect down right rude to us too, and stops offence being taken as well as getting upset by others saying either deliberately or out of turn things we find distasteful or possibly hurtful. Sharing creates a brighter mind and elevates life shunning out loneliness and selfishness which can be crippling and debilitating for the self and life. Sharing on a humanitarian basis not the sharing which is "all about me" enables productivity, trust, respect, faith, creativity, opportunity, advancement, purpose and an overall feeling of well being regardless of any overall circumstances. People who share are more apt to "read situations" as they are lighter in their minds and can see troubles and others faults far more than those who keep to themselves everything for a whole range of fears about letting go and thus destroying themselves or worse.

But sharing isn't telling everyone everything about you, it's not being that proverbial "open book"  it's allowing others to 'meld' with you, to feel the real truth of life and whatever else transpires needs a high degree of respect and inner value to come forth, which separates those out who are only in life for what they can get themselves, which is usually nothing. Sharing is the bright outlook, a magnet for good things, that almost permanent smile, that look that everything will be OK if you let it and not drag whatever it is around with you seeking pity or worse sympathy (failure). Sharing is that feeling that life contains more than what we see there is a depth to it that fills us with greatness, humility and at times positive direction and uplifting thoughts, it challenges the morbid and opens the flood gates to aspects of life that we never knew existed. But like attracts like and so again the lesser souls of thought get attracted to the lesser souls of thought and continually then wonder why others have the smiles when they perpetually look glum or scornful.

Sharing is not imposing, it's not being a burden, it's not being taken advantage of, it's not being negative, real sharing is a homogeneous aspect of bonding with certain others in life and combining what's naturally inherent, it's that great "oneness" feeling that humans have built within that explodes and causes genuine concern and laughter in the same sentence. That one can speak without premeditated thought and just say it as it comes, it's a real freedom that very little else can qualify the same effect. And for those that make up endless excuses as to why they haven't any friends (and the list is endless) it says more about them than and that sharing is a step too far in their life or indeed vocabulary. If you can't share you can't live life to the full, everything is contrived and excuse ridden and situationally driven as to what value you place on what and if I do this maybe they'll do that, life accounts in life are people who are failures let loose. If it doesn't come from the heart and you have to justify everything or "I did this they did that" attitude then you will always live below what expectation you would wish to enjoy, and the very sad thing is that it's you who has devised that route.  Sharing denotes with a firm presence of love and warmth towards others that's sincere and generous unlike those that have little sharing ability because there is little else within that's of any value or worth.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

PURSUING HAPPINESS or CREATING HAPPINESS

Which category do you fall into - a pursuer or a creator of happiness, or haven't you thought about it. Or are you a dabbler in all of them, do you perceive you are happy then at the same time try to see if you could be happier or want to read the odd article on happiness just in case you think you've missed something? Many people fall into the latter situation in that they are relatively happy yet still are interested in what others have to say as if walking around them are experts on the subject. And in fact many writers on the subject of happiness are far from it themselves, they are so conversed with the theoretical technicalities that their heart is stone cold and they look at everything strategically as opposed to humanely and tabulate rules as if they have found a formula, whereas they haven't at all, it's all mumbo jumbo in their minds. If you pursue happiness then you have not only lost the plot already there is something wrong with how you think, feel and perceive life which will definitely have a bearing upon your life and your interaction with every area within it. Similarly is you see others as enjoying life or even worse the sadness that's around as opposed to the happiness around then you've got a real mind shift that's verging on the negativity of life and again that will affect your judgement and thoughts and perceptions in every thing you do and every area of life in fact you are probably as exciting as dish water in your outlook.

Society for many appears to have lost what is basically inherent within, and when something isn't quite what it should believe that there is somewhere a "Help Line" or a potion at the Pharmacy which will quickly and effectively like a laxative get you going once again, and when they find that there isn't such a thing an almost inner panic sets up as to "now what". Fortunately most people are happy all around the world, something I've seen and experienced first hand, and whilst some cultures are a bit dull and subservient the overall effects of happiness are to be seen. Many single people today predominantly women over 30 but not exclusively seem to find happiness hard, it's not that men of similar circumstances don't it's just that their minds are more logical and thus tend to accept it more and just do what they have to do to get the best out of life, even if it isn't much in reality. (set in your ways syndrome).

Happiness is a state of being, you create it no one can create it for you nor enjoy it for you, your mind is where you live nowhere else so it's your outlook, perception, mind thoughts that produce the outward signs of happiness regardless of circumstances and situations. Everything is you, so blaming everything and anything isn't an answer. You have to live with yourself 24/7 no one else, not even your partner, so if you can't do it for yourself or you allow negative emotions, greed, anger, jealousy, moodiness, selfishness, envy, pride, etc, to take over, then they will, no one can do anything about it but you. If you compare your life or aspects of it to others the you'll always feel down, if you have permanent grand ideas and want then you'll always fail, if you have aspects of jealousy or the "it's not fair" mentality then it won't be fair ever. If you treat life as 'you' and 'everyone else' then that's how it will be, if you make yourself moody and selfish then you will lose everything, if you can't make an effort no one else will help you why should they you are worthless by your own actions. If you can't find "real" friends then it's you not because they don't exist, no excuses as to location of lifestyle it's you firmly and squarely. You are the interface with life no one else, you have happiness built in, like a new car with all the gadgets, if you don't use them so be it, but don't complain they don't work when you can't be bothered to click the buttons.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

FORGIVENESS

Can you or do you forgive, or are you a selective forgiver? Or do you prefer to hold on to what has happened either a deed done by yourself or others done to you so that you have some sort of pathetic validation in your life and to keep it alive justifies a self created penance that holds no virtue. Some people hold on to the past as an excuse for where they are now and thus have well rehearsed speeches to suite all audiences who are gullable enough to listen to them.  But just so that you know what the dictionary definition is below is an explanation that sums it all up, or at least the theory of it:-

Forgiveness is the renunciation or cessation of resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offence, disagreement, or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offence or debt'. The concept and benefits of forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, the social sciences and medicine. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives including forgiving themselves, in terms of the person forgiven or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In most contexts, forgiveness is granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is incommunicado or dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgement, an apology, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe himself able to forgive.

Life is full of wrong doings and more recently a whole plethora of substandard humans who now make the phrase "taking offence" a way of life (usually politically correct nerds), whereas years ago people just got on with life and moved forward. Those who utilise the "I've been offended" scenario do so in the hope others will take notice of them as if it is a justification of some sort for how they think, well who cares. We even have those wanting restitution for things that have been done years ago by different generations in different ideological thought times as they seem to want some kind of kudos for living in the past and not seeing the future. No amount of forgiveness by anyone about the past is going to make any difference except for those who have ego problems, and if you are religious at all it definitely doesn't make any difference as the time lines take care of that. And of course if you are a Darwinian subscriber it matters not as you are a mistake anyway so what of it.

Forgiveness is at times subjective in that one person feels aggrieved about something yet those that have supposedly done whatever it is see nothing wrong. We all know right from wrong and just because masses do something like in the Middle East where forgiveness isn't in their dictionary and live in constant upheaval and oppression then we see the result of it all on a mass scale, something that's only going to get worse. Furthermore if you are one of those that likes to be seen to be open and forgiving and says "I can forgive but not forget" then you are two faced, as that is the backdoor way of saying I can't or won't forgive. Granted we can't forget either but linking those two areas together admonishes the self of any deed pertaining to forgiveness and the thoughts behind it. It has to come from the heart and not smart political rhetoric.

It's not always easy to forgive, especially if the deed was or is very personal, however in order to forgive you have to 'love yourself', and here lies the problem, many people don't especially those again in the Middle East and Asia where love is totally conditional, i.e. if you don't do as we like or we disown you or throw a tantrum or whatever disgracefully selfish act they devise. If you respect whatever God you subscribe to then you should find solace in the fact that 'forgiveness' is a key element in the scriptural doctrine, but usually people tend to omit that in favour of their own narrow selfish and egotistical emotional levels then wonder why the edge of life has been reduced to what it is.

There are a lot of sad and emotionally lonely people out there and one must steer clear of them as they will like a vampire drain you of your energy for their own devises and comfort. They are skilled and apt at doing it like mosquito's biting you, you rarely feel it just the bump afterwards. It's self devised and so you should respect yourself and others by never entertaining negativity nor dwell on the past hurt or keep emotional diaries or check lists that keep being brought up. Whether forgiveness is in order or not, forgive yourself, because holding a grudge hurts you - definitely not the other person or people ever. Don't put yourself into that situation, let go, even if it takes courage to do so, and move on, you will be lighter and free and perhaps for the first time see the bigger picture. Many are actually afraid of "letting go" as they feel if they 'let go' of the years of harbouring hurt and malice that there will be a void within and are frightened as to how that may be filled and what others may perceive of them, all a total lack of self esteem. Love is the answer to overcoming harbouring negativity no matter what is it, but it's an option in that the self can override it, but do so at your peril.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)