GETTING CONNECTED

There's a lot written about networking, 6 degrees of separation, who you know, etc, it's the "in thing" today to give everyone instant success. Just read a book, go to a network meeting, join a Business site (and they are popping up like the plague), and the rest will happen naturally. We will meet whoever it is that we need and that "Knight in Shining Armour" will say "You are just the person I've been looking for" and from there onwards it's all history. It's really that simple isn't it, that proverbial person 'out there' just waiting to meet up with us, the answer to why we can't do it alone, that conduit to greatness just a meeting away. Anyway, I must stop dreaming and come back to reality and look coldly at the real people I seem to meet at 'networking events'. No matter who we are and what we do we need people in the chain of life for without them nothing much happens. However what we seek from others, others may seek from us, and that's where in many cases the whole theory of networking no matter what guise it goes under 6 Degrees or whatever comes tumbling down. It doesn't matter what targeted audience one has it's all down to the individual and who they are as people or a person, what their hidden agenda is or what their motives are and how as an individual their characters are.

From the many networking meetings I been to all over the world I've come across the same people, mean, selfish, greedy, insincere, 'wannabies', often quite nice to talk to, but wanting to take but not give, if you can't help me I'm not going to help you, insipid and dull people, those seeking clues about how you do what you do but don't give anything of themselves, those wanting your contacts for themselves but still offer nothing of themselves and so it goes on. And I have to say I have met some fantastic nay fabulous contacts, but like mining diamonds you need to shift hundreds of tons of earth miles below the surface to even get near to the possibility of getting one. I write about the "gatekeepers" in life and those that hold back and retard others but here I must be honest and say I fall fowl of that very same thing and act as a gatekeeper myself, and this is where the 6 Degrees falls short. I do pride myself that if I can help some one I will, no reciprocation necessary, I have been helped tremendously all over the planet by people who have asked nothing of me but just wanted to help me because they could, and I like to follow that line of thought too, and do so to the best of my ability. I like to think that I am cool and level headed and have been through some dire situations been kidnapped, shot at, been on my own in deserts and jungles and still been able to smile and come through each event. But for some reason there are certain types of people at networking events that really raise my blood pressure. And yes I realise it could just be me that finds such events the way they are but it's all very real and at times not only frustrating but a wasted event, coming home with dozens of business cards I never look through ever again.

The human being is such a simple yet complex creature and those seeking are often those who are the most needy and thus formulate an agenda that overtakes their humanitarian instincts and clouds their judgement and that camaraderie of mind, body and soul. The warmth they have is on elastic and whilst openly looks and feels sincere the moment you turn your head it flies back as you are of no use to them. It's not that you can always reciprocate help to those that give you saged advice or knowledge as they may not need what you have got, but it's a matter of instant trust and feel, and if you just don't like someone for whatever reason the chances are you are not going to help them or give them your contact to your best friend or long established business contact that they need because it doesn't rest well within. One thing for sure is that if we don't give we are not going to receive, it will all eventually peter out and we will become so used to being smug that we will live in a concocted world of our own making. To be successful we need others as they need us, we can't be successful just on our own it takes others to both implement what we do and eventually buy our products or services. Our attitude is everything it is our "shop window" to successful contacts and conduits and breaking barriers and getting past the "gatekeepers", but unfortunately for many it's tainted too much about the 'self' and at that point everyone loses interest.      

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SHARING - THAT FEELING

One of the greatest feelings you can ever have is that of sharing, sharing moments with strangers via a common understanding of whatever has happened or been seen, even without saying a word. Or most deeply heartwarming is that of the sharing of loved ones and friends a part of your life regardless of the incident or situation. Even sharing a moment together of great distress is a moment in reflection of the gratitude of that person being there at that time that helped so much and brought a real presence of what life and humanity is all about. There's nothing better than being able to share your partner, your children, your parents, your very close friends that at times are even closer than relatives. The feeling that you can say and do and confide and be silly (or worse) in their company and laugh it all off because they not only love you but respect you and deep down like to feel that when you share you share, it's not a conditional relationship it's "anything goes" and you both or all lap it all up for what it''s worth. That warm comforting feeling, that almost smug feeling on invincibility that life just can't get better that material values are at those moments just worthless as they are objects without heart or soul.

It's essential to us all that we can share with others for if we don't or can't then it makes us both hard within and forms a mental barrier that hinders our ability to communicate efficiently and with depth. Sharing with pertinent others also allows us to share with those we don't like or don't trust or those who are in effect down right rude to us too, and stops offence being taken as well as getting upset by others saying either deliberately or out of turn things we find distasteful or possibly hurtful. Sharing creates a brighter mind and elevates life shunning out loneliness and selfishness which can be crippling and debilitating for the self and life. Sharing on a humanitarian basis not the sharing which is "all about me" enables productivity, trust, respect, faith, creativity, opportunity, advancement, purpose and an overall feeling of well being regardless of any overall circumstances. People who share are more apt to "read situations" as they are lighter in their minds and can see troubles and others faults far more than those who keep to themselves everything for a whole range of fears about letting go and thus destroying themselves or worse.

But sharing isn't telling everyone everything about you, it's not being that proverbial "open book"  it's allowing others to 'meld' with you, to feel the real truth of life and whatever else transpires needs a high degree of respect and inner value to come forth, which separates those out who are only in life for what they can get themselves, which is usually nothing. Sharing is the bright outlook, a magnet for good things, that almost permanent smile, that look that everything will be OK if you let it and not drag whatever it is around with you seeking pity or worse sympathy (failure). Sharing is that feeling that life contains more than what we see there is a depth to it that fills us with greatness, humility and at times positive direction and uplifting thoughts, it challenges the morbid and opens the flood gates to aspects of life that we never knew existed. But like attracts like and so again the lesser souls of thought get attracted to the lesser souls of thought and continually then wonder why others have the smiles when they perpetually look glum or scornful.

Sharing is not imposing, it's not being a burden, it's not being taken advantage of, it's not being negative, real sharing is a homogeneous aspect of bonding with certain others in life and combining what's naturally inherent, it's that great "oneness" feeling that humans have built within that explodes and causes genuine concern and laughter in the same sentence. That one can speak without premeditated thought and just say it as it comes, it's a real freedom that very little else can qualify the same effect. And for those that make up endless excuses as to why they haven't any friends (and the list is endless) it says more about them than and that sharing is a step too far in their life or indeed vocabulary. If you can't share you can't live life to the full, everything is contrived and excuse ridden and situationally driven as to what value you place on what and if I do this maybe they'll do that, life accounts in life are people who are failures let loose. If it doesn't come from the heart and you have to justify everything or "I did this they did that" attitude then you will always live below what expectation you would wish to enjoy, and the very sad thing is that it's you who has devised that route.  Sharing denotes with a firm presence of love and warmth towards others that's sincere and generous unlike those that have little sharing ability because there is little else within that's of any value or worth.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)