FEELING EMOTIONALLY BEREFT

Life is what it is and there's no getting away from the fact that at times it all goes swimmingly well then all of a sudden Whoosh that proverbial spanner gets dropped in the works and all seemingly comes to a grinding halt. Our fun and excitement are suddenly reduced to a low ebb and our vision and fun for what's ahead gets put on hold. No matter how many sighs we make and no matter how many tut tuts or other noises we make it doesn't make the slightest difference as it alters nothing whatsoever. We are amazing people, we do so much that we take for granted that we assume we can do so many things and we have gone through so much that when something daunting hits us we at times wonder why and how are we going to manage. Yet deep down we know are going to get through it even if the task ahead plays on our mind. However, something a little more closer to home tends to hit us and that is that feeling in the pit of our stomach or that nagging feeling that we have in our mind that just won't go away. It's not that we are ill or indeed suffering from anything whatsoever, it's a whole culmination of events that are straggling or dragging on in our lives that we seem not to shrug off but deem that we will get around to but don't. Like the small stone in our shoes it's the size of nothing yet hurts so much.

At the end of a busy day many people feel the need to either "chill out" or meet up with friends, the same result is expected, to overcome the day's hustle and bustle and 'normalise' life so that we can rest and start off a fresh the next day, seeing life new and vibrant and wonderful. It works, but only so much as we let it, for over riding what's lurking beneath is like putting a plaster over an open wound without cleaning it, it just festers and festers until it gets worse. Our mental health is so vitally important because if we let that diminish then everything we do will be lacklustre and if that becomes the norm then we effectively live below par. Once we live below par life takes on a different perspective and mantle, we look at all around us with different eyes, it all means something different and we start to calculate life as opposed to living it. Whereas once we would do things and enjoy company now we have to "think" about it and see if we really want to or just be on our own, this is the "half way" house to loneliness and a selfishness brought on by ourselves. Ironically it's quite often that those who do least feel the most tired and start to cosset themselves and feel precious because they have entered that "downward spiral" that's controlled from within. 

Lethargy, tiredness, lowness of life, vacant thoughts, lack of spontaneity, lack of sparkle, lack of communicational abilities, lack of social conversation, irritability, lack of patience, making gruff noises to yourself when waiting for the elevator - it's taking too long, etc, are all pointers to a mind un-rested, as it's an exclamation to the self, for nothing else will speed up or change what is in motion already. Patience runs thin and we take exception about others making out that by default we are badly done to whereas what we are giving off is allowing others to take the lead because we certainly aren't, wrapped in our own mentality. Everyone has a life, so get out of the notion that "your problems" are of interest to others - they are not. It's not that others won't listen but they have problems too and only you can sort out what you have to sort out and only you think in your mind, no one else.

We have the power to start and stop a whole array of things and events in our lives, and not base it on what others think or do. It's not being selfish or self centred that's different it's us doing what's the best for us. It's here that the very selfish use that adage to do whatever they want based upon selfishness, but for most people they do what is expedient because that resides well within as opposed to having to fight within to effect change. Life is what it is we can't "dip in and dip out" to suite ourselves as that causes instability. Fun exists every day, friendship and love are there every day, happiness resides within every day and if you have to make any excuses as to why you can't be happy YOU are the problem, it rests nowhere else. Getting back to "square one" is essential and one should not have to put up and carry needless burdens, if stuff happens stop all the "Oh not again" or "why me" or "it doesn't happen to others" or "when will it all end" because that gets you nowhere it's allowing stupidity to enter into the affray, and when that happens you become stupid and you're not. Respect yourself, allow all that's good to enter into your life, don't be a bystander, don't makes excuses why life isn't as it should be, circumstances can change in an instant so don't rest on them be assured that whatever happens you are going to be fabulous, so be it - fabulous.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012



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BEING LATE

One of the scourges common to businesses and friendships is that of people being late. It's not only disrespectful it's bad in every way possible as it lets others down and stops the smooth flow of life itself. If a cog in a watch no matter how big or small stops then it all stops. Similarly if others place a responsibility upon you as an individual then you either uphold it or be forever viewed as one who can't / won't uphold their part of the bargain. And before those who are late perpetually start to wriggle with annoyance 'blame culture' doesn't hold water either. Yes, there are at times mitigating circumstances where even the most die hard and studious person who always arrives early arrives late one day, but the circumstances pertaining to their enforced late arrival can be counted on one hand and are usually very exceptional. We all know of people who just can't keep to time, perpetually late or last minute or whatever besets or befalls them they just have a list of ready made excuses as to why they "had to do this" or "cut it so fine" as not to allow any safe margin whatsoever so pro-occupied with themselves and their thoughts that what is around is either secondary or less important.


The crucial matter for lateness is not traffic, accidents, weather, invasions from Mars and Venues, it's not even the alarm clock not going off for those that deem they need to be there get there, those that have to be there for whatever reason place secondary importance again on the delivery of themselves as it's a chore more than responsibility.  If one is late for work phoning from the "cell phone / mobile phone" doesn't make it all right, it may show a degree of courtesy should one be able to advise of late arrival but it doesn't admonish the responsibility factor nor does it do anything else - you are late - full stop. There is always a cause for lateness over and above circumstances en-route that one cannot help, illness, bereavement, children, etc, but if children are an on-going common cause that's not acceptable as the world doesn't revolve around your problems and it needs resolution.


The causes of lateness are usually of a psychological nature even if it's perpetually cutting it all too fine and not allowing for delays en-route. Are you happy with your work, or are you happy with the destination that you have an appointment with, even if it's the dentist or a hospital appointment, or an interview or a court appearance or whatever it may be. As a member of the human race you have a responsibility not only to yourselves but those around you too, and that has nothing to do with self concocted ego, arrogance and the 'what's in it for me' attitude for if any of these latter aspects creep into your thoughts you have a problem looming large. You ARE the problem. If you don't like where you work or dread work or dislike those who are at your work it speaks volumes about you and not your work. Understandably it's not always that easy to change jobs especially at certain times where the financial climate is weak and jobs are scarce, but if you respect your income no matter what it is then you should uphold who you are otherwise by default you make yourself worthless and that has very bad connotations that will eventually ostracise you by your own volition from many aspects of life.


 Blame culture, lax attitudes, lack of self respect, negative emotions at the forefront of your mind, small mindedness, pre-occupation with yourself, lack of respect for others, lack of purpose, insularity of mind, lack of focus, lack of priorities, etc are all contributory factors as to lateness especially those who are perpetually late. Lazy environments, i.e.people you work or live within who share the same social banal culture and talk about lateness as a topic, which exists and share their lame excuses and think it's clever. Late arrival usually starts with an apology, think about it, starting anything with an apology isn't good it puts you under par before anything has started and it usually lowers concentration often resulting in a lower performance and hurried thoughts which causes mistakes and lack of concentration. In some areas the smallest of mistakes can cause death or mayhem, just because perhaps your position in life isn't so critical it gives you no leeway to take matters into your own hand. You are paid for what you do not what you don't do.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012
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SHADOWS OF LIFE

In everyone's life there is a silent programme running in the background. It's usually hidden within our "Life Files" and very personal to us, it contains all of our secret ideals, feelings, attitudes, desires, fears, phobias, failures, thoughts on others and often these files contain elements of somewhat 'not so savoury' areas of our thinking and 'secret arrogant thoughts'.  It doesn't matter who we are or where we are from we have these hidden files and they are with us 24/7. For some the files are crammed full of data others they contain very little. The bottom line is that how we make our way in life and how our stability pans out emanates from our perception and our responding attitude. Everything has a shadow a light side and a dark side, we have a sentient thought process and see life from our own particular stand point. It's this stand point that can make or break us and give us joy or sadness, it can give us by default happiness or sadness and most of it from not even moving from any particular point.  The "bigger picture" is where we really reside even at a personal level, if we decide to live within a cocoon of narrowness then life will eventually close in on us and we will lose the ability to think beyond our vision and when that happens a dullness will overtake and cause untold distress on many levels.

Within our whole civilisation lies a darkness the antithesis of all that's good and great, it's the result of a designer creativity for a purpose that has an effect of being disharmonious to our own lifestyle or way forward. Not everything is conducive to everyone, the 'one size fits all' scenario doesn't exist. Where some feel comfortable others stand almost shivering with apprehension such is the way we feel and interact with our comfort zone. Never the less we all have a purpose and we all have an opportunity to be what we want to be. The difference is that some regard their desire to  be appreciated by the many and that's the hard part. Some achieve greatness without seemingly too much trouble although from there on life is usually a quest of relationships and scenarios for which they need to conquer and achieve for themselves as they loose all moral stability. Their lives are usually too full of endless bouts of ups and down, but it can be a life that's privileged so one must take the rough with the smooth.

For the majority of people the shadow areas of life can be controlled because reality is a very stabilising force upon life and what we do. It puts most people back into a stage that they have to think quickly and thus they summarise all around them and where they are at and come to a conclusion that puts them into a position that they feel best comfortable with. It's when negative emotions creep into our lives for whatever reason that we veer from the "straight and narrow" (which varies from person to person) and we start then to collate extraneous thoughts about "why", "it's not fair", "I want", and all the rest and the mind then starts 'calculating' and that can be for the some their biggest downfall because their ideas go ahead of the reality of it all. We often see on talent programmes on television contestants talking about aspirations and before we even see them perform we have feelings that this is possibly the one and only time they will ever be on television.

Everything we do has a downside as well as a positive side, it's the application and deed of what's best that makes the positivity of it all come to life and overshadows the negative aspects no matter how minimal they may have been. At times we have to make far reaching decisions that encompass many aspects some of which no matter what we do will disadvantage others and there are no options that will preclude that. Whatever we do we must conduct it from a good heart that way we will minimise the negativity that will ensue thereafter even if some don't receive a benefit. Provided we make the best decision(s) we cannot take the negativity from others, they have to steer their course and you are not responsible for their thoughts. We all have to drive our own vehicle in life no matter what and can't apportion what others have done as that is out of our control. The key to success is to forge ahead, dwelling on the problem and get angry overtakes the solution and then nothing happens which is what happens to many. Some even believe that when their life is a mess it's because of others whereas in reality it's them not taking control. Life at times is not easy, but there again the success of striving to do your best is well worth waiting for as the reward is rich.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012
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LOVE VERSUS FEAR - A CHOICE

We all have a fear of something even if it doesn't anymore 'rattle our cage' like it used to, maturity has a way of softening the blows in life to a large extent. Fear can present itself in many ways sometimes one can just have a fear of living in a certain country which is oppressive or in a somewhat 'narrow' household or sect, it can in fact be anything that's too restrictive. No one has the right to control another an if you allow your religion to control you - you are finished as has already been born out in those religiously controlled countries of today where everything takes a backward step in life and progress is a dirty word. Of course when you control you have little if no love within you at all, and where there is a void of love deceit, corruption, greed, devastation, stagnation, poverty, unhappiness and ultimately failure is but the sum total of what their worth is. Fear can be psychological, spiders. open places, the darkness, and whatever it is that manifests itself within you. It can be the fear of failure or being inadequate, it can be the fear of something new that for many is a hell in the making, whilst others see it as an endless area of opportunity, fear is but a mind construct.

The love walk, that is a way of life that sees the good in everything whilst not negating the bad, it doesn't offend nor take offence, it isn't judgemental, although still free to form an opinion, it doesn't want to cause harm to score points, and it doesn't want to mentally belittle nor put people down to make the self feel good. It similarly doesn't follow celebrities nor others of a hollow disposition whilst it sees the possible qualities they have within them as human beings and the unfortunate failings which the press seem to revel in too. The love walk promotes health, happiness and a direction free from others ideas who may wish to impart on you for their good either by deed or in a financial way for their gain. It promotes a freedom that frightens dictators and unleashes the bonds that cause subservience and the ties that many self impose for lack of direction and personal respect. It's a strength that needs no others nor excuses nor lies or subterfuge which those in imperious positions need to survive. It cuts through corporate deceit, it shuns media lies, it breaks those who impart self importance as a false means of covering up their own failings, and it drives a hard bargain towards those that deploy unfairness to gain ground for self greed. The penalty for loss of love is by its own volition is death by and suffering for the many.

None of us are perfect, we have downfalls, we come into situations that hinder our way forward, we too come across as recipients of unfairness and greed by others, and we get temporarily thwarted by the 'gatekeepers' in life, those again who take it on themselves to select of which very few have any credentials as to seeing the bigger picture. Positive people have a love walk, genuine positive people that is, not the so called "happy people" who put on a facade like the New Age or many Coaches who talk the talk but have yet to find the walk and who are if you listen carefully still finding themselves. The strength we need to soldier on against at times a back drop of contrived negativity and a world created by evil religions and those that seek greed as a God of their following crumbles with love as a base. We too overcome the negativity that so many absorb like a sponge until they become actually saturated with "stuff" that is not of their making and that's the time they themselves become ill both physically and mentally. Mental health and a feeling of helplessness for many in the West is a recurring condition, for those in the Middle East it's an endless torment that will not be resolved for many years to come. You have a choice as to where your love walk goes, only you can make love an aspect of your life regardless of circumstances and conditions, it is a choice. 
 
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

FOR THE LOVE OF IT

What kind of a person are you? How do you look at life and how do you deal with all the ups and downs that one goes through? Are you a person that enjoys the good times but is a mess when it all goes 'belly up'? Are you a sociable and friendly type of person, someone who is approachable and leaves their own thoughts and feelings aside when others "grate on you" and start talking to you? Are you that affable soul that looks cheerful even when racing away with a hundred different things that need to be done? Can you see the 'bigger picture' predominantly in life as opposed to residing in a narrow microcosm of the narrow mindedness and stilted views? Are you an "all round" "Mr.Nice Guy" or are you touchy, snooty, stupid, selfish, picky, opinionated, not very knowledgeable about food or drink and selective to a high degree, stick to staid views, judgemental, etc, because if you are you will not be alone? Are you outgoing, gregarious, adventurous, or are you moody, insular, choosy, and not knowingly boring, even though you think you are the opposite - but if you are you are not alone? Do you have a good general knowledge of what's going on in the world or predominantly only know which celebrities are sleeping with whom and are in rehab because if that's your lot you are not alone? Do you just go through life or do you make a life, do you bring richness into your life or do you wait for richness whatever that is to enter via someone else- because if you do you are not alone? Do you walk your pathway in life or do you follow everyone else marvelling at what they have done but not  much to show of the self, because if you do you are not alone? Do you think you are loving and compassionate and warm and kind and generous and follow that through outside of the family to others - because if you think that then you are not alone? Do you think that you are intelligent, aware, knowledgeable, worldly, understanding, have social graces, etiquette, (whether you have or not or aspire to have) because if you do you are not alone.

What do you do for love in your life outside of your family, or does it just stop there? Do you even consider love to be an important or intricate part of your life or does it never cross your mind or just think that you are a loving sort of person and that's it? Do you feel that you are compassionate and because of that you are cool with that "smug" feeling that you have that trait so it's all all right? Are you open minded or like to think you are if asked yet deep down you are quite rigid in your thoughts and selective perceptions?  Do you think you should be better than you are or further on in life? Has your life a purpose or do you just live it and have private thoughts as to where  it should or might go? Are your aspirations wholesome or idealistically based upon what you would like to see as opposed to those based upon everyone not just your ideals or whims? What makes you happy, and where does your thought train reside when it comes to possession of material effects and acquisitions? Are you self confident yet not smug nor arrogant and do you ever get intimidated by those who seemingly have more than you or do you like to show off with the few bits that you have already to appease that inner self as to satisfaction and establishment of whom you are? Do you lead or follow, and if so are you happy with either or do you prefer to call yourself entrepreneurial as it sounds good, feels good and encompasses areas that you don't like to think about individually?

The love walk in life is all about us, no one else, the more love we have the lighter life is and the greater understanding we have for everything and the less emotionally involved we get with trivia or problems that are way beyond our control. We also more frequently see the "bigger picture" and don't take offence ever if we are called names or shouted at or whatever it may be, as it says more about the other person / others than ourselves. When things are not so hot knowing that it will get better enables us not to automatically take a ride on the "miserable" coach until it does, we are fine just now - regardless.The more we interact with elements, media, stories about what is not of our concern, the more we allow the "Sponge Effect" to take shape, i.e. we keep subliminally absorbing information that we don't or can't use until we become over full then start to weaken our resolve, we become saturated with trivia at the expense of real concern and love about the things we have authority and control over.   

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

THE DARK CLOUDS OVERHEAD

At times in life a darkness seems to overtake us to the extent it subliminally alters our views, perceptions , feelings, outlook and degrees of positivity that we once thought was a strength that we had within. It's only a feeling regardless of the reality of circumstances and not those of perceived circumstances, and although it all may appear very real our thoughts pertaining to our feelings are created within our minds. When we take off on a plane we often go through cloud, rain, snow, etc, only to find a few minutes into the flight all has changed and there is bright sun or if at night clear views of the stars and moon. Life is exactly like that, the clouds that tend to darken our lives are but temporary and we need to understand that troubles never last forever neither does the happiness that we enjoy although it doesn't mean that the happiness will not return to something much better.  It's just that everything in life has a "shelf life" and we need to work to that premise. Knowing that we have the impetus to work for those moments when it all changes which could be as short as a few days or as long as a few months, never the less in between awaiting these breaks in the cloud we have to enjoy life and not endure it. We are the masters of our own body and mind and thus we have to do the best to respect that and not concede nor acquiesce to circumstances that are subject to change at a minutes notice.

Today we have a name for everything, like "None Eventful Progress" - you are bored, nothing more nothing less, yet all of a sudden because old fashioned boredom has been given a modern title someone somewhere will feel that they are suffering from it, and worse still some politically correct moron will take it seriously and now what has developed is a scenario that should never ever have existed. Mild depression is not uncommon but by no means a block or excuse  not to do anything unless you make it so. The more we pamper ourselves the worse life gets which is not the same as taking care of yourself. One finds all the successful people regardless of what they do etc, just get up and go for it, whereas those that don't get anywhere are just full of perpetual excuses as to why they can't or didn't or haven't or whatever it is they have conjured up. Most people who have experienced that "down" feeling and just received some good news snap out of it most immediately, such is the power of the mind. We must never underestimate ourselves, because if we feel down or low we lose the ability to see opportunity and that then is a very big negative aspect of life, not seeing potential, fun, happiness, laughter, etc.

We need every day of our lives to start it on a positive note regardless of the dexterity that we may need to just psych ourselves up for if we dwell on what's happening as opposed to ourselves and getting out of it then we will become the problem and not the solution. We are all different and react in different ways and even have different backgrounds and views on identical problems etc, but what is common to all are the self same feelings of lowness and that is the key problem itself, for where lowness exists so does the 'get out' solution too. We need to surround ourselves no matter who we are or where we are with positive people - no exceptions, they are the ones who are going to radiate the positive energy that you are going to fuel recovery upon and in turn reverse feed back energy to those around you too. Dark Clouds happen to anyone, sometimes they are very dark indeed and can render the self moribund and cast doubt as to any hope or indeed chance as to a way out, but clouds are but temporary and our efforts no matter what they are will force though that little glimmer of light that we all pick up on in an instant. The verve that the average human being possesses is astounding, however our mind which processes all of our body movements and thoughts needs to be updated like our computer software in order to maximise our potential and utilise full power not some sort of diluted strategy that leads nowhere.  
 
For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

FINDING THE SIGNAL IN THE NOISE

All around us is noise of some sort, whether it's the neighbours children, traffic, aircraft flying over, loud music, etc, whatever it is there whether we hear it or not. On the other side of the audible spectrum there resides another dimension in sound one that has defined purpose as well as other random sounds too, but for ourselves this organised noise is what makes life for us what it is today. It's the invisible signal noise of radio, television, internet, our mobile phones, our remote control units, sat nav, and the rest it's all there on designated frequencies doing what its supposed to do. In between that the ambient noise or white noise exists, it's the stuff that we can hear and something we either love or not, country dwellers experience different ambient noises from those living in the cities and by further definition those living near railways and airports experience variants within all of that, etc. The world in which we live we is bombarded by advertising all promising the thought of something better, success, keys to this n' that, instant point scoring, increase your rating, get your business more aware, nay for a small fee the secrets of the universe will uncovered by - whoever, it's all there if we choose to look, and if we don't choose to look they are there to tell us anyway. We are a brilliant and boastful and deceitful society mixing a little of this, a little of that and with a bit of strategic marketing until it all comes together as "today's flavour" an elixir that everyone just 'has' to buy, all very California. Which is not to say it doesn't work, but what it doesn't bring into its algorithms are the times lines and numerous coefficients that actually stop it being a run away success, as most products" have like pre-packed food a shelf life after which it doesn't go off as such but becomes superseded by an updated model, by another creator, definitely very California.

There is a purpose and a success trail for all of us, and whilst latching on to others formulas and strategies which may coincide or assist us with what we are doing we can if not careful get bogged down in areas which are not conducive nor creative to what we are doing, even if in themselves they are fabulous. There is a degree of uniqueness about each and every one of us whether we allow this to shine or keep it behind locked doors is down to us. Our uniqueness is very real, we can hear the voice of our partner or friend over and above all others if close by, and if we really try we can hear other information too that many just allow to pass by. Similarly if we seek a trajectory in life or a way forward it must be something that resonates well even if initially we are the only ones to see it, which is often the case. Within the "white noise" there is "our pathway" our own unique signal that no amount of promotion or advertising will help secure or bring around success, if what we are aiming for doesn't have that resounding feeling and resonance then it will just be something that's smart or good but goes no further, and how many times have we all seen that, and indeed perhaps with our own projects not proceeding as wished.

In the space arena stations are all over the world listening for those feint sounds that will indicate a potential, we can hear noises in our car when it goes wrong, and indeed surveillance systems listen for those extraordinary sounds over and above the backdrop of commonplace to decipher and deceminate tell tale areas that give knowledge and advantage. Out there waiting to help us all become rich and famous are those who for a fee will 'tell all' their systems, (or rather unlock a bit at a time costing each step of the way) unleashing designer understanding, knowledge, methodology, schemes, etc, which will enable us to reach  where we think we need to be or if greedy desire. For many their desire is possibly a step too far even if what they do is commendable, it's a bit like driving a normal car 'off road' whereas a 4x4 would have been the best option. It's these nuances and differences that sometimes just can't take in or accommodate differences that even experts don't see or want to see for fear themselves of losing a sale. If what we do is inherent then we would 'see' the little things that are likely to accelerate where we need to go, or have some catalytic action and within that 'white noise' we would both see and feel that pathway which others would completely miss out or be oblivious of.  

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

YOU AREN'T ALONE

There's a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely, the former is just that - you are alone, with few or no one around you, the latter is a feeling of isolation even in the midst of friends and loved ones where your inner thoughts are cocooned in a dialogue of their own usually linked to a mind condition or a feeling that things aren't going so well. It could however be that you have "moved on" in life and those around you whilst good people don't offer anymore the support you need and the type of camaraderie you require to enjoy life. It's very easy to be judgmental here but "Feeling Alone" is a very personal thing and it's purely down to the individual as to how they perceive life. Sometimes it's the little things in life that can trip us up the most, like the little stones in our shoes, as small as they are they produce great discomfort and we have to literally stop to remove same. Even when everything appears to be going well, we can feel totally "out of it" to the extent that we go through the motions of life and robotically laugh, join in make arrangements etc, whilst at the same time our minds are literally elsewhere, and our thoughts are churning around discussing life and how we best fit in with it all and that 'elusive' goal of satisfaction and completeness or lack of it.

How we perceive life is down to us, this stays with us throughout the whole of our lives so it's vitally important that we get some semblance of understanding as to who we are, where we are and all that surrounds us. If we have a belief then we already know that God is at hand, for those that don't believe or believe in some weird evil religion then you just winge and moan and still nothing happens. The fact that when we go through an ordeal we do feel alone even if at times we come across others who have or are going through the same thing, there's always a 'let out' clause for them but never yourself, it's this 'self' that holds us back. Very few if any at all are experiencing something unique, even if it's unique to ourselves, it's our 'mind-set' and that mind set can be pivotal as to how we pull through, come through or deal with life and enjoy it all at the other end. Nothing lasts for ever be it good or bad, having said that the median in between can give a rewarding life that's fun and productive and sharing amongst fellow man. Even if we go to the doctors and receive some tablets etc, we receive tablets because somewhere there are 1000's of others needing the same remedial drug for the same problem.

There are various "chat lines" and "blogs" and suchlike that are user friendly and directed towards specific topics where people can openly under a pseudonym pour out their problems to like minded souls and receive correspondence of encouragement and help and advice, and at times this can be the best help around. Often knowing that you are not alone can be so elevating that the severity of the problem can be almost halved in a split second. Whether we have a secret fetish, secret desires or feelings which to us are "all out of the ordinary" finding that "other" person or persons can make a world of difference and if we seek we will find, although those others we seek will be hiding in the background so diligence is par for the course. We can be our biggest problem, and we are experts at making up excuses for ourselves and why it's always easier for someone else but in "my" case, it's just not possible or too difficult, and so the pathetic trail of excuses goes on and on and on, and nothing gets resolved. One main element of freeing up the self is to detach oneself literally from the public gaze in as much as you neither want nor need comments or opinions of others who know nothing of your plight even if they know you personally, there's always that little something they don't know and everyone should understand that about everyone else.  

Liberating the self is essential, it doesn't mean making public your feelings nor anything else it just means taking charge of whom you are and walking with it, without explanation to others, which at times others who can actually semi-demand to know what you have been up to and if you don't let on they get upset, so let them, boundaries always need to be respected and if their assessment of you changes then so be it, for at times if you acquiesce to their demand you not only lower your own self esteem they may just not understand and walk away anyway, you have to judge this yourself. On the other side of the fence you may be in a precarious position whereby you need friends just for emotional support but it's essential that you have the right friends and the right quantity and quality of support for if it's too much either way it can become burdensome and topple all you seek as support. Even in times of dire need when the world looms large and you feel so inconsequential you are not by yourself, there are solutions, ways out and as difficult as it is in such a state making a move is a 100% better than doing nothing. The journey of a hundred miles takes one first step, take that step for yourself in nothing else.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

HEALING THE MIND

As pressures grow and people seem to want more magic in their lives or pills to pop to stave off reality or try and deal with it from a distance or indulge in the "blame culture" mentality as if to admonish themselves from just about all eventualities in life and smugly continue on their dull way forward, there are side effects which won't go away. We all know deep in our hearts what is right and what is wrong, we all have deep within what is moral and what isn't, we all have deep rooted in ourselves happiness not only for ourselves but others too, we can lie, cheat, pretend, but it doesn't hide the fact that we know otherwise. There are books, DVD's, television documentaries and seminars about "healing the past" or words to that effect, but there is nothing new and what's more whatever you do now regardless is not ever, ever, ever, ever, going to change the past. Nothing you do now is ever, ever, ever, ever, going to erdacate the thought or situation or happening or how you feel now because how you feel now is directly under your control. Atrocities of the past augmented in a different time line, under different circumstances, under different conditions with a different mentality cannot be absolved or made "alright" nor "healed" nor anything else, they were and are as they are history, the statement of "healing the past" is man made as it cannot happen as it has already been healed anything more at a later time is no more than PR.

All this business "we need resolution" - "then we can move forward" is modern day twaddle as "resolution" doesn't have any power nor access nor denial to a better life, only you can do that. If you hold a fictitious point in life as a benchmark that you cannot go further until that has been resolved then so be it, but make no mistake YOU have created it as it doesn't exist whatsoever other than in your mind. It's not that saying "sorry" or finding the "answer" isn't good, but if you are waiting for that you have literally put your authority in someone else's hands, which is pathetic and totally stupid, and makes you look pathetic too. By all means remember the dead and what good they did or what they suffered but this has NOTHING to do with God nor respect nor anything else, it won't change a single thing even if you yourself feel that is does, that's just you conjuring up that thought in your mind as a 'feel good' factor, but that's all it is, you don't get "bonus points" in life for doing any such thing. (Although it makes good press and TV coverage as they can drag up the past and regurgitate it all again). Similarly not so savoury deeds that happen within families that are made a feature of a 'dark moment' in the family and passed around do nothing whatsoever as to assisting the future to grow and be positive, feature making of memories speaks volumes of smallmindedness.

On a more personal level we all need to "feel" that things are right in life, we all dislike injustice, we all dislike the "bad guys" we all dislike unfairness, we all dislike deceit, we all dislike abject rudeness and bad mouthing, and we all like to know or feel that those that go against the grain are justly dealt with, despite the politically correct morons who see life from a different angle and have excuses for everything, and are in themselves a bane on society. By and large all of that does happen and even the police have to adhere to the stupidity of protocols and "I have my rights" which if you commit a crime should be waved immediately. We don't live in a perfect world at all and it's becoming more litigious and meaningless, however our own lot we can totally control and should guard strenuously and uphold because if we don't no one else will. Interference from others no matter "how well meaning" should be avoided as outside help often shares little of the bond others have between themselves and relationships that equal 100% can be as stilted as 90/10 and work perfectly, this is where "onlookers" even those who love you go way above their station in the advice stakes. Healing of our mind isn't a step in life, it isn't a protocol, it's what we decide to make it as it doesn't exist, even if one deep down seeks a degree of fairness to have taken place but hasn't so far. It will NEVER hold you back whatsoever unless you decide it will, speaking on behalf of the dead is not smart it's smug and conceited, taking on a statement of which you have no authority other than what you have bestowed upon yourself.
  

If what you seek, whether it's an apology, or sorry or admission of responsibility etc, is received it still hasn't changed anything towards the aggreived or dead, they will not have a better "after life" or whatever. And if they believed in God and you do then you must know all earthly atrocities are null and void in Heaven where truth and understanding and pure love exists. So it's YOU who is dealing as almost the "Devil's advocate" in trying to play God on an earthly scenario. It may appease you mentally but what most people find is when their plight has been acknowledged and they say "it can all be put to rest now" they find that within themselves there is an enormous void which never ever gets filled or quenched, appeasement is one thing of the self is another. Of course it's who and how we are that makes us do what we do and for what purpose, often the purpose isn't quite as straight forward as it's made out to be with hidden agendas and selfish motives to try and uphold the self and give a purpose also to the self using the cause as a conduit for something missing in their own lives.

Some people - for many reasons - culture is one of them, can never 'let go' of hurt and whilst they say they believe in God they don't otherwise they wouldn't say what they have done. Retribution and saying "God will punish you" are two elements that these cultures just can't seem to eradicate from their vocabulary, which is their biggest downfall and explains why they are failures and wherever they are in numbers there is permanent unrest. If you respect yourself then life is predominantly good, if you harbour negativity then you will reap exactly what you have sown. Being two faced isn't an answer to anything and it doesn't even bode well as to any healing of any kind especially the mind where it plays havoc. Your life is yours, don't build upon the past its gone for good, tomorrow is where you are to end up, make sure it's a good tomorrow, and never ever follow anyone else's dream or crusade.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SEPARATING OURSELVES FROM CIRCUMSTANCES

We all fall victim at times to circumstances as they temporarily take over our own will and we thus become an alien to oureselves, this can happen when we have a death in the family, made redundant, diagnosed with a serious condition, have financial problems, etc, they affect directly our way of life and hit hard on our emotional stability. Of course we are not all the same and some people seem to worry about everything whereas others seemingly worry about very little and take whatever comes as it is and deal with it accordingly. There's no right or wrong we are who we are and administer areas of our lives the best we can. Sometimes things stagnate or get worse because we are ignorant and fail to seek help or assistance or advice which is what many do to their detriment. Ego, pride, self smugness etc, tends to creep in and we scorn knowledge that others may have built upon in similar circumatances of others and the possibilities that exist to ease the burden or relieve the mental stress that one has swimming around in their heads. Too many people walk around with the "I know best" attitude not knowing that the options thay have have just been negated because of the lack of clarity and forsight of the self. Carrying problems around in one's mind is not smart, it's not respectable, it's not a pennance for anything of the past, it's not necessary, it doesn't change anything, it doesn't promote anything, it doesn't justify anything, it doesn't preserve your identity and deeds, it doesn't help with the future, it doesn't contribute to your friends and family, it doesn't gain sympathy it grates on others as they look upon you as pityful, it's not a prelude to better things in the future, in short despite the severity of whatever it is you harbour it doesn't lead anywhere positive.
Our attitude towards life is paramount to how we live it, it's the base of all of our thoughts and feelings coming together to present whom we are to the world, our "Shop window", and whilst what lies behind that "Shop window" can vary enormously if the shop window looks and is shoddy, you know yourself you'll walk right on by. Whether it's raining, sunny, cold, snowy, etc, we can choose to be happy and bright, if we once start off the day with "Ohhhhh it's raining" then that's predominantly how the day will be and any other aspect related condition we have chosen will allow our feelings to match it. Those that look at the weather, see its raining and accordingly go forward determined to enjoy the day despite those obnoxious people they dislike at work, and missing the bus, and having to put up with the temporary office bercause of refurbishment, and things not being where they should be, and the party they are going to that evening that they are not too excited about, etc, the day is good and bright and yes they can smile and be civil to anyone regardless of how they are to them.

Failure, fear, loneliness, depression, etc, stem from taking hold of the circumstances around us and absorbing them like a sponge, we internalise them not seeing beyond the now and cogitating upon circumstantial aspects of life that could change or alter in a flash or offer solutuions and alternatives that because we don't know of we revert inwardly with a melancholic feeling. Habits and family traits are often a basic cause of this, the tendencies are if our families are negative then we have a chance to be negative too, and the opposite if our families are positive towards life in general then so are we. However, we all have choices and can directly change towards a positive mode should we really want to. Like "Soap TV" everything revolves around trivia or someone else's problems and smallmindedness, for without smallmindedness there wouldn't be a plot. It's one thing to watch such on television but many live in a smallminded arena in life and their lies their downfall and lack of real potential. It's almost failure in the making, with you feeding the ingredients towards it.    

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

ADVANCED LIVING

How we get on in life can at times be something of a lottery in that what we expected can suddenly just go out of the window and we are left standing pondering about what to do next and more to the point how do we go about what to do now as our mind goes blank. We like to think we have the potential to stave off "negativity" in our lives or that perhaps we are resourceful and should events arise of a not so nice nature we can cope. Sadly for many when the Tsunami of life really does hit then it's a real shock, whether it's health, relationship, financial, work related or whatever else it can be the  mind takes a hit and the aftershock can be devastating, knocking one's self esteem and self security into a frenzy of  nothingness. However we plan our future it's a bit like flying an aircraft, we need to make course corrections en-route otherwise we will not arrive at our destination. Many people get to where they are in life by default, sometimes where they end up is not quite that accessible and it renders life more of an existence of living as opposed to a place which is harmonious and joyful and brings with it that feeling of excitement every day they get up.

Wealth has very little to do with enjoying life even if it brings with it opportunities or the availability of more options. As hard as it may appear or seem or not wanted to be understood is that our happiness is within us, what we can't achieve or our ego or desire can't access causes us untold inner mayhem that plays on our mind as an almost subliminal programme that is constantly replaying itself thus taking the edge off of life. Our success is always relative, what others appear to have as success is but a culmination of circumstances which produce a result, and just because those circumstances of the self are not of a similar proportion does not mean anything less. Our own personal ideology and take on life plays a vital part too in how we both assess life and how we thus accordingly respond to it, so we can in effect be the cause of our own downfall of short comings in life. It's at this point that many people make an assessment of themselves one which is grossly unfair or even based on a fallacious substance but never the less causes them to feel out of kilter with life and what they think they should feel like and it then starts to bring them down to a level which is purely self induced.

Our personal stability is the vital link to happiness, contentment, fulfillment, purpose, definition and that fabulous feeling that we can get that life is good regardless of circumstances and what is displayed on the news. If we don't have this and many don't then life is forever a series of ups and downs and struggles and wishes and thwarted dreams and disappointments and let downs and then we live in a cloud of consternation which makes our journey a troublesome one. Once we reach this stage others around us start to appear on predefined levels based upon where we are and that has negative values that we find difficult to come to terms with and they too see that we are not fully connected with them and thus relationships start to wane a little if at times diminish into something of a valueless entity. No on should live for the sake of it, feeling wanted and needed is part of the human condition and if we can't accommodate others in our lives then we will render our own purpose on a substandard level.                    

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

CHERRY PICKING LIFE

We all like to have the best in life it's almost a natural instinct we are selective when we shop and selective about the people we have in our lives too. Within all of that most people have a degree of compassion, love and understanding which allows us to share with others aspects of themselves, the opposite of which is called "selfishness". Similarly in other aspects of our lives we almost veer on the side of "cherry picking" and his includes quite a number of areas within our lives that we take ownership of. One of those areas is religion, if one believes in God then the chances are you are a member of some religious belief as opposed to believing in God directly as all religions are man made and therefore have faults and added bits and pieces. Many like to cherry pick the nice and easy bits to fit in with their lifestyle and understanding and the rest well, tend to allow it to reside at the back of the mind. This tends to actually be the rule of thumb for many in their lives as they tailor aspects of themselves and thus hone more specifically to aspects that concern them or make life easier. 

The problem at times with "cherry picking" life is that it can be habitual and thus we can both live and work in an abridged version of it missing out on various aspects and not acknowledging much of what is needed to give life substance. We can also ride roughshod over others and gradually this will make us appear both aloof and not fully engaged, which will after a time be the case and life will end up as short bursts of 'what I want" at he expense of others values. Whilst here is nothing wrong with looking after No.1 in life (yourself) it can render  the self somewhat incomplete and not having the assistance nor help of others when needed, which at times is essential. No man is an island. Furthermore if "cherry picking" becomes almost second nature then it will have very adverse effects upon any type of relationship whether with a significant other or just friends and associates and possibly communicational skills in general. Like everything in life balance is the key point, we should always be wary of people who constantly "cherry pick" who are around us as you will be always way down the list on their priorities if at all at times and there's no reason that by default knowing this you should allow yourself to be put into such a position.

The opportunities that abound around us are infinitesimal so we rightly need to pick upon both those which suite our purpose and our character too, it's this fine honing that makes life what it is. At the same time we really do need others for if we don't have any significant people in our lives loneliness starts to creep in and that really can be a major problem, and indeed is for many. Psychologically we need to feel needed, loved, wanted and need to feel that we want others even if it's just a "best friend" if we negate all of this then we start to develop psychosomatic feelings which can be very varied and be our downfall with regards mental health  and stability. Having said all of that we can "cherry pick" on behalf of those we like or care for in that we wish them to have the best of what is on offer or available so our deeds of compassion and understanding not only come through but are rewarded by a heightened camaraderie rather than isolation. Everyone makes their own way in life regardless of others, we have to be the masters of our own course and manoeuvre our around whatever is head of us, make sure the journey is wholesome and then enjoy the ride.        

 For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

NEW TYPE DEPRESSION (NTD)

What many people are experiencing today is rejection in particular the young, it's not that they aren't any good or what they are doing is of no value or that indeed they haven't got any ability, it's just that they have been challenged by someone and they take personally to heart what has been said, and it's usually out of context. Strangely enough it's often "quite nice people" who tend to "suffer" from this feeling more than anyone else, although it's not exclusive. If you are an "all round" nice guy then you are basically accepted (as a person) wherever you go at whatever level and you tend to interact accordingly, make assessments of the situation at hand and predominantly get some form of feedback whether it's direct or indirect as to your judgement. When you start to get negative feedback or no feedback especially in a work environment even if it's not related to the quality of your work it starts to have a negative resonance and it either sparks an immediate anger or 'bithchy' retort followed by periods of silence (which is usually churning over and over the situation in your mind).  In what I do I seek information and views from others so as to build up views and opinions different to my own, that way I get a better and more informative balance on the subject in hand. It's also a case and I firmly believe one can never know it all and there's always something to learn no matter what even if it's just going though the process yourself.

Recently I was offered a series of sessions (initially one off's) with some "respected" business advisers in "respected" organisations, (which I get offered / becomes available from time to time) and prior to meeting up I had to fill in a questionnaire about a whole series of facts and figures about me, my work, and what I wish to achieve, all of which I can do with great ease now. Never the less I make sure what I put down is pertinent, accurate and with details to my websites / publications / and achievements to date, better too much than too little, you can always press the delete button but there isn't an "add/more" button. Bearing in mind these sessions are not cheap I was eager to learn and interchange ideas, views, and receive possibly new information or concepts about what I was wishing to do,etc.  And what a let down they were. The people concerned were very nice indeed, kind, hospitable, knowledgeable, fun, bright, sharp, and yet I felt so let down, they almost appeared like robots just going through one more client as if we were travelling together on a parallel road but in different cars. I left feeling somewhat "empty" within, and what a waste of time that was. And from the many years I've been in business all over the world there seems to be this type of cold advisory platform that I can well understand how many young people think and can now suffer from (NTD) New Type Depression. I wasn't depressed as in fact I leaned why many people don't respond the way they should and it's predominantly that they are treated "as another client" and there is NO personal inter-relationship, the advisers are not only incapable of it they don't even want to go there as it's too much trouble for them. Yet this is the spark that could kindle untold excitement, positivity and great success. Bog standard information is available all over the place most of it for free but much professional information seems to be governed by cost rather than quality and real client understanding.

 I get bombarded by companies offering conferences, seminars, workshops with supposedly well known names and what they impart, but most of it is disingenuous, subterfuge, and they like whores try to solicit as much as they can from you in return for solving your problems, making you successful, opening doors, raising your marketing game, telling you all about how they make it, and so on. They are so good in fact it's wonder they haven't been nationalised by the government and made compulsory in education so that everyone on planet earth can be as successful and wealthy too. And whilst some of these seminars after being offered at a high price, reduced price, special price, personal knock down price, etc, etc, do have good information it's all down to the 'solubility factor' and not flashy marketing to the endless stream of 'wannabies' attending wanting to up their game from basement to top floor in one go, or worse still looking for those elusive tips that will generate their protege from embryo to full gown in a flash. It never happens, except for real entrepreneurs who already have that in-built kudos to do it themselves. Indeed these marketing organisations are marketing themselves nothing more. Selling a hope like "anti-wrinkle" cream, it's bought to stave off age, but it only works as long as you use it, cures aren't yet developed. If after all your efforts, and your inner deep dream has not been delved into by a "business professional" (and there isn't such a thing as a "one size fits all") don't get alarmed as all the great successes like salmon swim against the tide, aircraft take off against the wind not going with it. If that "so called" master of knowledge hasn't touched all your buttons and you feel let down and cheated, it's because you probably have been. Don't let anyone ever tell you that your dream won't work, the greatest achievers in the world were told that including one President of the USA. Of course we have to be realistic too, but passion for what you want to do will pull you through, and if it turns out that it won't happen because of certain conditions / situations you will veer automatically into an area that will work. It's your story, don't let anyone else write it!!!!

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

GETTING CONNECTED

There's a lot written about networking, 6 degrees of separation, who you know, etc, it's the "in thing" today to give everyone instant success. Just read a book, go to a network meeting, join a Business site (and they are popping up like the plague), and the rest will happen naturally. We will meet whoever it is that we need and that "Knight in Shining Armour" will say "You are just the person I've been looking for" and from there onwards it's all history. It's really that simple isn't it, that proverbial person 'out there' just waiting to meet up with us, the answer to why we can't do it alone, that conduit to greatness just a meeting away. Anyway, I must stop dreaming and come back to reality and look coldly at the real people I seem to meet at 'networking events'. No matter who we are and what we do we need people in the chain of life for without them nothing much happens. However what we seek from others, others may seek from us, and that's where in many cases the whole theory of networking no matter what guise it goes under 6 Degrees or whatever comes tumbling down. It doesn't matter what targeted audience one has it's all down to the individual and who they are as people or a person, what their hidden agenda is or what their motives are and how as an individual their characters are.

From the many networking meetings I been to all over the world I've come across the same people, mean, selfish, greedy, insincere, 'wannabies', often quite nice to talk to, but wanting to take but not give, if you can't help me I'm not going to help you, insipid and dull people, those seeking clues about how you do what you do but don't give anything of themselves, those wanting your contacts for themselves but still offer nothing of themselves and so it goes on. And I have to say I have met some fantastic nay fabulous contacts, but like mining diamonds you need to shift hundreds of tons of earth miles below the surface to even get near to the possibility of getting one. I write about the "gatekeepers" in life and those that hold back and retard others but here I must be honest and say I fall fowl of that very same thing and act as a gatekeeper myself, and this is where the 6 Degrees falls short. I do pride myself that if I can help some one I will, no reciprocation necessary, I have been helped tremendously all over the planet by people who have asked nothing of me but just wanted to help me because they could, and I like to follow that line of thought too, and do so to the best of my ability. I like to think that I am cool and level headed and have been through some dire situations been kidnapped, shot at, been on my own in deserts and jungles and still been able to smile and come through each event. But for some reason there are certain types of people at networking events that really raise my blood pressure. And yes I realise it could just be me that finds such events the way they are but it's all very real and at times not only frustrating but a wasted event, coming home with dozens of business cards I never look through ever again.

The human being is such a simple yet complex creature and those seeking are often those who are the most needy and thus formulate an agenda that overtakes their humanitarian instincts and clouds their judgement and that camaraderie of mind, body and soul. The warmth they have is on elastic and whilst openly looks and feels sincere the moment you turn your head it flies back as you are of no use to them. It's not that you can always reciprocate help to those that give you saged advice or knowledge as they may not need what you have got, but it's a matter of instant trust and feel, and if you just don't like someone for whatever reason the chances are you are not going to help them or give them your contact to your best friend or long established business contact that they need because it doesn't rest well within. One thing for sure is that if we don't give we are not going to receive, it will all eventually peter out and we will become so used to being smug that we will live in a concocted world of our own making. To be successful we need others as they need us, we can't be successful just on our own it takes others to both implement what we do and eventually buy our products or services. Our attitude is everything it is our "shop window" to successful contacts and conduits and breaking barriers and getting past the "gatekeepers", but unfortunately for many it's tainted too much about the 'self' and at that point everyone loses interest.      

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),