GETTING CONNECTED

There's a lot written about networking, 6 degrees of separation, who you know, etc, it's the "in thing" today to give everyone instant success. Just read a book, go to a network meeting, join a Business site (and they are popping up like the plague), and the rest will happen naturally. We will meet whoever it is that we need and that "Knight in Shining Armour" will say "You are just the person I've been looking for" and from there onwards it's all history. It's really that simple isn't it, that proverbial person 'out there' just waiting to meet up with us, the answer to why we can't do it alone, that conduit to greatness just a meeting away. Anyway, I must stop dreaming and come back to reality and look coldly at the real people I seem to meet at 'networking events'. No matter who we are and what we do we need people in the chain of life for without them nothing much happens. However what we seek from others, others may seek from us, and that's where in many cases the whole theory of networking no matter what guise it goes under 6 Degrees or whatever comes tumbling down. It doesn't matter what targeted audience one has it's all down to the individual and who they are as people or a person, what their hidden agenda is or what their motives are and how as an individual their characters are.

From the many networking meetings I been to all over the world I've come across the same people, mean, selfish, greedy, insincere, 'wannabies', often quite nice to talk to, but wanting to take but not give, if you can't help me I'm not going to help you, insipid and dull people, those seeking clues about how you do what you do but don't give anything of themselves, those wanting your contacts for themselves but still offer nothing of themselves and so it goes on. And I have to say I have met some fantastic nay fabulous contacts, but like mining diamonds you need to shift hundreds of tons of earth miles below the surface to even get near to the possibility of getting one. I write about the "gatekeepers" in life and those that hold back and retard others but here I must be honest and say I fall fowl of that very same thing and act as a gatekeeper myself, and this is where the 6 Degrees falls short. I do pride myself that if I can help some one I will, no reciprocation necessary, I have been helped tremendously all over the planet by people who have asked nothing of me but just wanted to help me because they could, and I like to follow that line of thought too, and do so to the best of my ability. I like to think that I am cool and level headed and have been through some dire situations been kidnapped, shot at, been on my own in deserts and jungles and still been able to smile and come through each event. But for some reason there are certain types of people at networking events that really raise my blood pressure. And yes I realise it could just be me that finds such events the way they are but it's all very real and at times not only frustrating but a wasted event, coming home with dozens of business cards I never look through ever again.

The human being is such a simple yet complex creature and those seeking are often those who are the most needy and thus formulate an agenda that overtakes their humanitarian instincts and clouds their judgement and that camaraderie of mind, body and soul. The warmth they have is on elastic and whilst openly looks and feels sincere the moment you turn your head it flies back as you are of no use to them. It's not that you can always reciprocate help to those that give you saged advice or knowledge as they may not need what you have got, but it's a matter of instant trust and feel, and if you just don't like someone for whatever reason the chances are you are not going to help them or give them your contact to your best friend or long established business contact that they need because it doesn't rest well within. One thing for sure is that if we don't give we are not going to receive, it will all eventually peter out and we will become so used to being smug that we will live in a concocted world of our own making. To be successful we need others as they need us, we can't be successful just on our own it takes others to both implement what we do and eventually buy our products or services. Our attitude is everything it is our "shop window" to successful contacts and conduits and breaking barriers and getting past the "gatekeepers", but unfortunately for many it's tainted too much about the 'self' and at that point everyone loses interest.      

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
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BALANCE & POLARITY

Every day we need some degree of focus in our lives otherwise we end up doing very little that assists us, just playing for time and not getting to grips with what we could do. In the same vein we need balance too for without balance we veer off into a tangent that's at times steeped in bias and we can then get bogged down and come to a stand still. Every day we have to take on its merit, some days we are full of inspiration and get up and go, others we just seem to be treading water even though there is perhaps lots to do or be getting on with. Life is like that, it's not plain sailing, and steering our ship means we have to accommodate and navigate what is ahead of us, from a calm sea a storm can brew in minutes and we need to be mindful of it. We also need to be mindful that our inner self wants to do something and we just don't have that motivation to do it, at least at a certain time, writers have "writers block" where they just can't think the story line anymore, but it comes and goes and all is well again. Getting upset or remorseful isn't an answer which needs to be entertained because if we dwell on these events we can severely damage our intent by thwarting our inner self to bounce back quicker than it could do.

Every action we make has a reflex action, sometimes it's barely recognisable other times it can have profound repercussions not only on the self but on others and situations around us. That's not to say that we should never make such actions that have wide ranging repercussions because progress is primarily held back by the 'stick in the muds' and those that can't stand change, so we need to state our case and go for it, if we can't do that for ourselves no one else can. We are not by and large responsible for others actions nor others getting upset or in today's parlance "offended", which seems all too easy. And that not everything we do is going to please everybody nor be conducive to their circumstances and that change may have to be effected, but then so be it, it's just others looking after themselves or the selfish making a noise which they always do every day they don't get their way.  Life is a series of options some have to be taken into account and a decision made others are optional and just give us a latitude in what is available for us. Whatever there is available there are consequences even if some seem of little or no value, but what is of no value to one person could be of great importance to another for their own reasons, keeping an open mind helps one along on their way in life without encompassing needless unrest from others.

Balance is a prime factor in everything, we know only too well that eating our favourite foods to excess causes us to get fat, drinking too much gives us a hangover, lounging around chilling out stops us getting essential exercise and we become sluggish both physically and mentally, and so on. Balance keeps things fresh in excess we get fed up after a while if not indeed go off whatever it was, so a healthy balance in our work and social life promotes a degree of alertness that's essential to us living a good and happier life. When life gets us down our ability to see clearly and correctly comes under pressure which does us no good at all we need a good and balanced view in order to see the pros and cons of each aspect of our thoughts and a degree of polarity so that we know why we are making the decisions we are. Without polarity we become aimless and that has negative aspects in itself which we ultimately will suffer from. Regardless of how something grabs you, whether it sounds fine or it's discordant, don't let your emotions step in before you've had chance to think about it otherwise on the spot reactions can turn out to be remorseful and one can easily say the wrong thing.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012