GETTING CONNECTED

There's a lot written about networking, 6 degrees of separation, who you know, etc, it's the "in thing" today to give everyone instant success. Just read a book, go to a network meeting, join a Business site (and they are popping up like the plague), and the rest will happen naturally. We will meet whoever it is that we need and that "Knight in Shining Armour" will say "You are just the person I've been looking for" and from there onwards it's all history. It's really that simple isn't it, that proverbial person 'out there' just waiting to meet up with us, the answer to why we can't do it alone, that conduit to greatness just a meeting away. Anyway, I must stop dreaming and come back to reality and look coldly at the real people I seem to meet at 'networking events'. No matter who we are and what we do we need people in the chain of life for without them nothing much happens. However what we seek from others, others may seek from us, and that's where in many cases the whole theory of networking no matter what guise it goes under 6 Degrees or whatever comes tumbling down. It doesn't matter what targeted audience one has it's all down to the individual and who they are as people or a person, what their hidden agenda is or what their motives are and how as an individual their characters are.

From the many networking meetings I been to all over the world I've come across the same people, mean, selfish, greedy, insincere, 'wannabies', often quite nice to talk to, but wanting to take but not give, if you can't help me I'm not going to help you, insipid and dull people, those seeking clues about how you do what you do but don't give anything of themselves, those wanting your contacts for themselves but still offer nothing of themselves and so it goes on. And I have to say I have met some fantastic nay fabulous contacts, but like mining diamonds you need to shift hundreds of tons of earth miles below the surface to even get near to the possibility of getting one. I write about the "gatekeepers" in life and those that hold back and retard others but here I must be honest and say I fall fowl of that very same thing and act as a gatekeeper myself, and this is where the 6 Degrees falls short. I do pride myself that if I can help some one I will, no reciprocation necessary, I have been helped tremendously all over the planet by people who have asked nothing of me but just wanted to help me because they could, and I like to follow that line of thought too, and do so to the best of my ability. I like to think that I am cool and level headed and have been through some dire situations been kidnapped, shot at, been on my own in deserts and jungles and still been able to smile and come through each event. But for some reason there are certain types of people at networking events that really raise my blood pressure. And yes I realise it could just be me that finds such events the way they are but it's all very real and at times not only frustrating but a wasted event, coming home with dozens of business cards I never look through ever again.

The human being is such a simple yet complex creature and those seeking are often those who are the most needy and thus formulate an agenda that overtakes their humanitarian instincts and clouds their judgement and that camaraderie of mind, body and soul. The warmth they have is on elastic and whilst openly looks and feels sincere the moment you turn your head it flies back as you are of no use to them. It's not that you can always reciprocate help to those that give you saged advice or knowledge as they may not need what you have got, but it's a matter of instant trust and feel, and if you just don't like someone for whatever reason the chances are you are not going to help them or give them your contact to your best friend or long established business contact that they need because it doesn't rest well within. One thing for sure is that if we don't give we are not going to receive, it will all eventually peter out and we will become so used to being smug that we will live in a concocted world of our own making. To be successful we need others as they need us, we can't be successful just on our own it takes others to both implement what we do and eventually buy our products or services. Our attitude is everything it is our "shop window" to successful contacts and conduits and breaking barriers and getting past the "gatekeepers", but unfortunately for many it's tainted too much about the 'self' and at that point everyone loses interest.      

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
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EVERYONE IS A WINNER

Today it seems that everyone and everything is being forever judged by backseat drivers, those who are "critics" or pass judgement on others and situations. The television is littered with experts on a whole manner of subjects spouting off about what should have been done and what could be done and why it went wrong, as if none of us are experts of hindsight. Yet the vast majority of these so called experts do absolutely sod all in their lives to contribute to positive change, they just comment and nothing more. And whilst it is all supposed to give gravitas to the subject matter it is after a time like watching the same old wallpaper dry, it becomes a pure back drop for organised diatribe to fill a column, fill a few minutes on the news, fill in a documentary and for some supposedly 'intellectual' programmes it's almost a public display of mental masturbation, the same old people wheeled out of hibernation and given a 60 min life yet again.

Everyone today has a part to play even if it's just living your own life to the best ability you have. There are of course those that drop by the wayside and become fodder for those that have ideas and thoughts as to what to do with such people and there are those that actually roll their sleeves up and get down to the job of helping them whilst the intellectuals intellectualise and again do sod all about it, which seems to be becoming more and more prevalent today than ever before. Whilst we live in a big world life is getting smaller, our microcosm of an existence is the first and most important thing for us for if we can't make a go of it no one else can do so for us unless it's something not so savoury that we wish not to contemplate like a prison or such institution.

Everywhere we go someone casts aspersions as to what it is or what has been done as if they are the first and last word on the subject which if the truth be known, if they died overnight no one would miss them as their interjection of knowledge is tertiary and purely cosmetic and like all cosmetics they get washed off for a new application every day.  The media have a cosy relationship with critics but as the paper medium is dying is there no wonder why the acerbic bitchy hollow and shallow critics seem to make a life out of finding fault as if there is a prize for pulling down man's own efforts and those that try and those that invest their time and money in to what they do, whilst critics again do sod all, and in fact have little to offer the world other than perhaps at the end of their lives as bone meal. Do they get some perverse pleasure of covering up their own inabilities by knocking others, even if what others do doesn't come off, and it doesn't come off every time for everyone, but the delight and the brusqueness that they wallow in like pigs in shit outlines what weak people they really are.

Society gets along by degrees of communal acceptance, our dearth of variety is out there because people actually try and many go through almost nightmare situations just to get to the initial stages often wracked in problems that emerge as they do from no fault of their own, and of course insipid bureaucracy that springs up run by even more insipid and dull and lifeless people. It's time that there was a cull of the negatively arrogant little peasants who mascaraed as bastions of knowledge and all of understanding to know that in truth it's not them that are loved at all it's those that try and those that have real humanity and compassion within them.

Families too can be your biggest downfall as can your religion, being judged not for whom you are but from their point of view you don't do what they want? So where is the unconditional love? What happened to it? Your happiness is the prime and pole event in the hole of your life, if someone you know or love is happy what more could you want for them. Whether you agree or like what they do is YOUR take on life, to impose your views is cruel, selfish, evil and wicked and so many religions take this righteous mantle but are not even close to God in their motives. The Middle East is a living prime example.

Never ever let anyone put you down, whether you have made a mistake or life hasn't gone as well as you would have wished. You are entitled to be whom you are regardless and even if your professional presentation especially via the fickle and heartless media isn't on the day that bright, don't worry, life has a really way of bouncing back. Nearly all the greatest inventions people in life have failed and won the day and if you look back at what the critics said it's laughable as they are laughable. Stand your ground no one deliberately goes out of their way to be substandard especially when they have invested so much in what it is they do. Don't ever allow a five minute critic whose life will end up in hell to put you down. You are a winner and enjoy the kudos.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012