Thursday 29 July 2010


Emotional Blackmail is one of the lowest traits that any human being can delve to, to inflict pain by almost blackmail based upon emotional divisive thoughts of the self, seeking gain at all costs, seeking to overlook the humanitarian aspects of others just to quench the inner selfishness of the self. Unfortunately once one embarks upon emotional blackmail and has a degree of success it never quite stops there, it just gets more daring and more deceitful and even moves over into telling lies and fabricated stories such is the hold it gets on people.

Women are more adept unfortunately in this area where they can cry more readily than a man and at times feign tears and upset to turn the attitudes of those around them just to get what they want, sad and untrustworthy aspects of such a person, and instability too. Although by no means is it an exclusive area for women alone.

There are areas in our society and cultures where emotional blackmail is not uncommon, such as in Asian communities where some parents will go to any lengths to get what they want from their children and go into it with the full drama of shouting, tears, wailing the real Bollywood Blockbuster stuff, and much of what they seek and do is verging on gross deceit. It not only is disingenuous but cause real upset and distress and it's not a 'love based' emotion whatsoever.

Of course emotional blackmail is not confined to families, even though it's prevalent in such areas, it can be inflicted by work managers, friends, those seeking to gain from extortion, it can be anyone anywhere. But where it lies shows the people or person you are dealing with. It's not that difficult to hit back with massive force and take control, but you have to want to do it and stop it not only for yourself but for others too.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Wednesday 28 July 2010


One of the biggest obstacles in our lives is ourselves, it's ourselves we have to convince that we need to do something then it's ourselves that needs to do it then it's ourselves that needs to either reap the rewards of having done it or make amends if it all goes wrong. Procrastination  isn't an option in life as time moves forward even if we don't. We don't want to offer or farm out our abilities to others as with time we become redundant humans who lose the ability to make plans of value on ourselves, life and all that's in it.

Many people seemingly come to am impasse in life, a place where "we just don't know what to do", and depending upon the problems and / or circumstances we can get into a terrible mental quagmire where we can't see the way forward or that it's impossible to ever get out of the current situation as it appears so enormous. The positive minded people see the obstacles as part of the solution so they eventually find a way out, gain further knowledge and become successful in their venture after that. The negatively minded people just stare at the height of the obstacle not realising that down the road there are steps, lifts, escalators that will take us to the top and beyond.

Nothing in life outside of death itself is an obstacle, perceptions and mind evaluations play a major part in  how we see life and how life treats us. Nothing resides in isolation unless we make it so, we are the sole instigators of whom we are, despite what happens around us. We either let circumstances dictate who we are or we say I'm in charge of my life not circumstances  as they are subject to change and are transcient and I'm not settling for this, and then move forward. Winning or losing in life is a perception based upon external factors, you can win and have nothing you can lose and have everything it's but just a name apportioned by others without credentials, it's almost an ego trophy nothing more. Where you reside in life and what you do is down to you, not missed opportunities nor anything else, it is how you are reside in your mind, nowhere else. Those that say "I've tried everything" are shallow and narrow, they have only tied what they know, preferring to close the doors on the unlimited options of what they don't know yet and overlook actions that would bring at least some of those yet to discover options into focus.

What do you do when you don't know what to do? Do anything, but doing nothing is a self driven move towards failure and unhappiness.

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  ©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Tuesday 27 July 2010


We all do it, we all say it, we all think it too, we have an event ahead of us that we not only look forward to but relish the thought of. It could be a holiday, an outing, a family function, Christmas, a child's graduation, a football match, whatever it is, it's on our "looking forward to" event schedule in our minds. There's nothing wrong with that, it's good that we have future events in our lives because it means we interact with life and others to allow such events to take place, it's part of living. Where it all goes wrong however is that many make these future events their sole craving and in between just live out a somewhat meagre existence.

There are even bigger events too that are time labelled such as retirement, significant birthdays, children eventually leaving home even if it's only to University, it's still significant and its emotional too. Offspring grown up where did the time go? We can also have the biggest letdowns and bouts of sadness and regret too by our lengthy forward planning because we might never ever get to that point or if we do circumstances may have changed just so drastically that it's even beyond a major re-think of what to do. The expression "there's no time like the present" is often just so apt. Our hopes, dreams, that world cruise on retirement can't now ever become a reality because of permanent ill health. The house extension so that on retirement we can sit in the conservatory and read and enjoy life has lost interest, and so it all goes on.

Some events are time related and there's no getting away from it, many are not, the significance of what we want to do at a certain time is more of a trophy to ourselves, so if we can afford to do it now then why not and enjoy the benefits now and also beyond. We should never ever postpone happiness nor confine it to a future event at the cost of not enjoying the present, as the future event will come and go and then all will be flat, living from peak to peak has its negative repercussions.  Life is to be enjoyed every day and there are many things to enjoy even if they are just friends and family, those that forever need something new which is different from a challenge in life have to search their minds for the reasons why or they will be permanently moody and low.

We have but one chance in life, that chance is interspersed with good events and some not so good and not of our own making or choosing. In order to enjoy what we have and who we are, we have to carry a positive disposition with us and that will enhance our life beyond measure. If we dwell in the doldrums we will bock out clarity and vision and all in front will seem deadly, dull and there will be no future because we can't even see the present will clear eyes. By making the best of life no matter what that is, we will increase our chances of attracting better things happening and that will have a knock on effect and so it will go on, it will be noticed by those around us too to a positive effect also.  

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Monday 26 July 2010


There are some aspects of life that we enjoy, some we get along with and others that we either dread or try to put off, usually doing something about it at the last minute. Some people are good at paying bills others hold off until the final reminder then it takes them all their energy to pay, it's a mind set more than an ability. However the more we put off the bigger the mind burden we carry around. Think if we paid off all our bills straight away, bought the presents and cards way ahead of time for birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries, we would free up our thoughts and time for more enjoyable events. If we booked those journeys months in advance that we knew we were going to take we would probably be paying half the price even for premium seats, and so it goes on. The more we become dilatory towards ourselves the bigger the load we carry.

Our lives like our homes or cars need constant attention, they need at times renovating, our old ideas and thoughts need updating in light of new structures, ways of living and environment constraints. We need to keep ourselves clean, our clothes clean and maintain a relatively healthy lifestyle if we don't want to bring on illnesses that we know we can reduce the chances of getting just by sensible diet and lifestyle. We need to keep mental equilibrium in check too because if we let our minds go then everything around us collapses into a heap and the older you get the less likely it is to be able to put it all back together again.

Overlooking aspects of life, or ignoring it only leads to a day of eventuality, when like many things in life "it all happens at once", where the point of no return hits us hard and remedial action is not only expedient some aspects are forever irreversible and we have to make sacrifices in order to continue. Living stress free a much abused word, where many call being busy as being stressed out, what they mean is they are lazy and selfish, but that's another issue, is essential in maintaining our view of life and clarity in all we do, if we muddle though we will forever suffer.

It is a pain at times to do things especially when we have in our minds stuff which is far more interesting and emotionally fulfilling, but if we get into a habit of doing many of the tasks straight away we will feel far more on top of life and not be threatened when it all goes awry and suddenly hits the fan in one fell swoop. However, it's your life and only you can make it better or allow it to become worse, it's all down to choices and self respect.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Sunday 25 July 2010


We all have moments of panic or indecision even the most established and down to earth have at times to ponder as to what's best to do often going against what we would have really liked but circumstances dictate otherwise.Then there are those moments when we go to bed and as we relax our minds fill up with not only the thoughts of the day, but extraneous thoughts too, the thoughts of negativity, the thoughts that throw a spanner into the whole workings of our lives, they create scenarios of gross failure, nasty outcomes, unease and uncertainty and we end up having restless nights, hot sweats and feel like we've run a marathon by the time we get up in the morning.

We do have control of our minds and it's imperative that we keep this control too even when under stress or duress so that we remain calm, cool and collected. When we allow our minds to wander the "mind gremlins" come out to play, there's nothing better than for them to feed off our insecurity and degrees of turmoil and unknown thoughts about the future. But if we allow them to run riot and rock n' roll with our negative thoughts then we are in for a very bumpy ride. If need be get up, don't ever put up with your mind racing away and doing nothing about it. The mind gremlins feed on everything that's not love or harmony, so we need to change our thoughts and not dwell on stuff that we don't know will or will not happen.

The condition of our mind is down to us, if we feed it rubbish from stupid content in magazines and watch silly stuff that has no connection with us, and follow people who have no bearing upon our lives other than pathetic curiosity then life will be hollow as we will have little left for ourselves. There are times in our lives when things all go well, and then there are times when things don't, we do know the difference so we should be prepared for when they don't so that we can cope and don't hit the bottle or get sleeping tablets or tranquilisers which do nothing whatsoever to solve the problems that's causing it all.

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 ©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Saturday 24 July 2010


The consequence of not being able to forgive is to harbour negative emotions, and the consequence of harbouring negative emotions is that your life will never ever be fulfilled and the edge will be taken off everything you do. For those who sound out the knell "I forgive but don't forget" is tantamount to lying, OK you can't ever forget (except where you put the car keys) but to make a deliberate statement is saying one thing and meaning another, but that's alright it's your life that will suffer. Even President Obama's father wanted to convert from Islam to Christianity but couldn't get over the fact of forgiveness, he couldn't do it so he stayed an unforgiving Muslim, which says a lot about Islam.

It's difficult at times to forgive especially when someone deliberately does a dastardly deed against you or humanity for their apparent own gain or greater plan. But no matter how much that other person knows you dislike them or possibly doesn't know, it's not going to change one thing ever except make you the instigator of your own negative thoughts worse off, such is the nature of negative emotions. All the useless mind talk of "I hope this happens to them", or "I hope they die a painful death" or whatever is absolutely pointless, and if you don't desist then it speaks volumes about you too.

There are people who live having harboured negative emotions for 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, or more years, still clinging on to events decades ago, such is their narrow and insular mind. There are those that hide behind past un-forgiveness and blame everything in life on such events which makes them look like second class morons and are a pain to everyone around them including family. And then there are those whose own agendas include negative emotions and try to instill and inflict on others what has happened to them as if by magic the veil of the past will lift, it never does, such people become more selfish, bitter, twisted and useless eventually causing a demise in whom they are and altering their mind state to that of pure debased rubble.

Forgiveness is part of the "love walk", it's part of respecting yourself and not elevating others to hatred or via some other negative route. Forgiveness allows the past to weaken and fall away whilst at the same time allows the mind to grasp the present and future and see what's in store and the enjoyment that it can give. Being a self martyr isn't smart it's positively stupid and childish, but it's a choice, your choice, so don't expect others to listen or join you in your own personal selfish devises they have a life to lead and it doesn't include your pathetic and selfish thoughts.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Friday 23 July 2010


None of us really like to lose an event even if we aren't that competitive and many aren't, the old connotation that we haven't won or come first or in the first three isn't that exciting, but that's really just a perception. Many people who just take part in an event no matter what it is are already a success, they have mustered up the courage and determination to go along with whatever it is even if deep down they are thinking "I'll give it a go". That 'give it a go' mind set whilst not ringing many bells is still 100% better than doing nothing, for if we do nothing then we are sure that nothing is going to happen, other than just get older.

Everyone who tries even the "gives it a go" stance makes an effort and gets 10/10 for just doing that. Those that do nothing still get nothing 0/10, so already we have a degree of success for just seeing what we can do. And many the time that someone wins a competition or whatever it's often those that are behind the No.1 slot that do very well indeed because they proven to others that they can do whatever they do well. Like in sports the difference between being No.1 and No.7 is sometimes thousandths of a second, so basically they are all great winners, it's just a minute technicality that produces a pecking order.

Forget the media shows making young bright aspiring people into moguls of great magnitude, it's for the most part hype, well it would be it's on television, but those judging have all been grand failures or even had very chequered backgrounds, and not everyone is an expert at everything, businesses and the ways forward are not linear at all, so there are permutations and ways and means of getting to number one, not just one route.
Other people's views which are predominantly subjective often have no bearing whatsoever on one's ability, we see that at football matches every week where there are millions of armchair experts many of them too fat and unhealthy themselves giving advice on the agility of others.

Success is with us every second of the day, even if we have experienced degrees of not being successful to date, our braking point or our tipping point may just be around the corner so let no one not even our mind talk say otherwise. We run our lives not others, we are successful as we are, we've made it this far and will continue to do so for time to come, so breathe in success, even on the dull wet cold days, success is still that sweet smell in the air, just take a deep breath and go for it.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Thursday 22 July 2010


Happiness is one of those emotive words that people seek to co-join to some event or aspect of life or a gift or material possession, yet it's non of these things at all. Yes we can be happy if we win the Lottery or get a new fancy car or clothes or fabulous multi-sound - experience television, or go out for dinner on our birthday with loves ones, all those things and more can give us great pleasure. But transient pleasure and happiness is just that as it may override the difficulties of the day or moment, but it won't white wash over life and what underlies it all.

Happiness is already within us, forget the books, guru's, and anything else, we all have happiness within so we need stop looking or seeking it out as it's not lost. Our minds control everything in life, from breathing to eating and what we wear, happiness is part of the automatic drop down menu in the mind that can be selected at any time should we so wish. If we link happiness to anything outside of our body, relationships, finances, health, material benefits etc, then we have temporarily suspend it from our  drop down menu and then we react with glum faces and deeds and speak with dull tones because our deed of negativity is now overriding any happiness that's available for us to latch on to.

It's true that some people have a better disposition on looking at life and make the best of what they have regardless of what's around them, whilst others concede to events and allow events and circumstances to dictate how they feel. It's sad and rather pathetic that this happens but it's often an educational level and helplessness of life as seen by them that makes them do it, it's also totally selfish too.

Happiness reflects how we think and feel overall about life, happy people get on better, are more healthy and allow opportunities to come their way, whilst less happy or indeed unhappy people are always seeing life from below the base line and looking for clues and conduits to try to elevate themselves or latch on to what they think others have got and they haven't, they rarely find such as their mentality shuts it all out.  Life is what we make it and if we compare we are always going to compare "upwards" i.e. what someone has got that we haven't, never the other way as we don't really care, we become judgmental about them.

Happy people attract happy people sad people attract what they deserve, when one makes a conscious decision to be happy regardless of circumstance it does something very positive to how we think and feel and we then see the "bigger picture" of life and we get an elevated feeling within that allows us to venture forward and elevate our thoughts to newer and higher levels without the need for others to lead, we feel the way forward.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Wednesday 21 July 2010


We all like to pop the little bubbles on the bubble wrap we get with our gifts or appliances, it serves a valuable purpose and protects what we have received from life's knocks and dents and rough handling and anything else that could damage the contents it holds within. The little pops and the popping sound is in many ways quite therapeutic and for some it's a "I just have to do it" when they see bubble wrap lying around, having just done its job of work.

But for many people life is a bit like bubble wrap, they cocoon themselves in a little bubbles of this thought, that deed, that action, those friends, those thoughts, my family, my possessions, my work, my ideas, and so it goes on, all little bubble spheres of all about me. And whilst there is nothing wrong with having our individual thoughts and feelings if we keep them all separated and living in isolated bubbles there will be no cohesion within our lives and indeed those we mingle with and especially at work where we need to shine in order to move forward and enjoy who we work with even those we don't particularly like.

But like many things, our bubble wrap world is strong only when it's all together and like us popping each individual bubble on our sheet of plastic our world can come toppling down by our own bubbles being popped or deflated just as easily. And once its all been popped that's it, there is no further use other than perhaps recycling. If we are to make anything of ourselves we need to be outgoing and allow all our compartmental areas free flow, make them work and show what's stored within, if we keep it to ourselves that's where it will stay and as most people are not psychic they will not have a clue as to what lies within.

Living in a bubble wrap world makes us judgmental like many religious people, it makes us cranky or fanatical, it makes us outcasts never being able to mix or mingle well as there will be always something about someone we will instantly dislike and move away from, but as no one is perfect it leads to almost instant isolation. We then end up between the devil and the deep blue sea, where do we go and what do we do? Well, the first thing we do is change our attitude, the second thing we do is to take people at face value no matter who they are or what they do, and the third thing is to "get a life" how on earth did you end up like this in the first place, are you so selfish that you think life owes you a living because if so you will die waiting if that's the case.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Tuesday 20 July 2010


In today's hurly burly world of marketed rubbish and hollow and debased form, where the outcome is scarcely worthy of the cost and everything is linked to a list of conditions and disclaimers, is there any wonder why the word "shallow" crops up all around us. Even politicians show their lack of statesmanship by their childish if not "bitchy" comments belying their own somewhat shoddy and suspect characters.It's interesting to note that people who allow their characters to run into areas of "statesmanship" that there is usually a link between their honesty and their tax returns and expenses.

We have today a manner of names designed, concocted, produced to mark certain aspects of life and pigeon hole people to make it all easier to understand, as if the general populous were becoming more ignorant, well, maybe they just are in certain aspects. Certainly companies, governmental forms and market research organisations are finding free flow a hard line to come to terms with, as they are all impotent without categories to fall behind.

With sexuality there is something happening which is changing the whole ethos of who we are, it may not be endemic to the masses but it's certainly changing unless your are a Muslim and then of course in Islam it's easier to deny change than to embrace it, just go to any Islamic country and find out yourself. There is of course the heterosexual then the homosexual and then the meterosexual (or bi-sexual) and a few more, but those are not relevant and one could go on ad infinitum. We have civil rights and civil liberties who demand that we need our freedom and our human rights (except Islamic countries and Africa hence they are always failing and falling behind in life and permanently bickering).

But to bring things to a head the human form is changing, it's evolving where many more are not only experimenting with their feelings but often changing sides half way through their lives, which gives the good old churches something to harp on about, be grossly judgmental and then say everyone is loved and it keeps psychiatrists busy too and stops them going off the rails themselves by looking at others lives, it take their mind off themselves. And again good old Islam no problems here homosexuality and metrosexual practises don't exist because they kill you off, result, no problems anymore. If only life were that simple if you don't like what we say kill them, problems solved. Women are stoned to death today in some Islamic countries but of course not the men, that's fair isn't it?

Our sexuality is a major part of our lives, it's us, it's going to be something we will have to live with every day and possibly too with our partner, so it's important that we feel just fine in our skin and that we are not harassed or put under duress by religious lunatics and stupid selfish parents that see life from their point of view only(limited love here). When it comes to life we must look purely at the facts and not at fantasy or ideals as for many such things do not exist. Reality is the best way forward because that stops us fantasizing about events that will almost probably never ever happen. The more real we are the better the chances are that life will be good towards us and that we will be comfortable with whom we are and that will come out in our character and gives us strength in all areas of life and within ourselves too.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010


There are books written on the subject, there are courses run on the subject, there are Guru's who proclaim to know the secret or answer yet none of them have taken the world by storm or become part of the national curriculum to provide better and stable students for the future. Life at times isn't easy and some seemingly cope better than others when under duress. Others goes to pieces at the mere thought that something might go wrong but that 's another story in itself.

We all have ideas, aspirations, dreams, thoughts etc, about how we would like life to pan out, we have our standards too and for many we like to try and better ourselves in many ways allowing us the ability to grasp a part of life that pleases us and tastes better than what we previously had. We also need to keep our feet firmly on the ground too for if we allow ourselves the luxury of wandering off mentally to another place we will then have unwittingly placed upon us an expectation that we may never ever be able to realise. If we have too many of these expectations in life we will probably have many areas in which we fall short, and when we do fall short we become disappointed and downtrodden and start to compare others and situations and that makes us feel even worse.

The general peace and quiet we need at times to allow ourselves to "chill out" gives us time to recharge our batteries which is vitally important. Other recreational activities may also be useful even going to the gym allows us to "let off steam' and feel better both physically and mentally. But where we are in our mind is where it all happens. Everything in life happens within our mind, our world lives in our mind, everything we do is in our mind and there is no getting away from it, so it's vitally important that we keep our mind in tip top condition so that we are in tip top condition too.

So many people let themselves down by internally bickering about trivia and what others do or say that they have little time for original thought about who they are and their lives and those of their significant others around them. It's all this extraneous thought that keeps us from having peace within, it's this external knowledge that the vast majority of us harbour that is useless or needless or about others who contribute nothing to whom we are. It's us who becomes fodder for the news media and press that blow out of proportion every single event as if the world is living day by day and surviving because of them.

To reside in that place of peace we need to know what's important to us, and what isn't. We need to know who we are and where we are in life even if it's not ideal at the moment, we need to accept that to move on as and when the time and circumstances allow. If we can't have degrees of inner peace now we will find that when we we move on we will drag the mayhem with us and then become dissatisfied that what we thought would elevate our lives has just run out of steam.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Monday 19 July 2010


Religion can be the bane of your life, it can foster ideas and ideologies not of your own making and definitely not of your own choosing too. But before delving into religion and currently there are some 35,000 registered religions on the planet and probably even more popping up as we speak, none of them are God ordained, despite what each one might tell you. No one created God but man created religion hence it's full of failures, let downs, bickering's, stuff that doesn't work or happen, empty promises, made up rituals and dogma, self created histories, divisively content altered and amended by those we seek to pick n' choose for their own version of truth, hatred, killings which Islam hits the number one spot currently, and so it goes on.

Where God in any definition is pure love, there is no evil, there are no self created conditions or strings, and definitely no killings and beatings and beheading and restrictions and condemnations and all the stuff which traditional man made religions are full of. Breed guilt and pay your money is the adage that keeps the followers following, that's what it's all about, announce love and mercy yet kill at the same time, it shows what kind of people run your religion and how they think. There is a big difference between reverential fear and emotional fear based on bad things supposedly going to happen, that's what the devil does, although some God purported religions are more evil that the Devil himself, so that speaks for itself.

Belief in whoever you choose to believe in requires faith, and the vast majority if not the overwhelming majority of the population including priests and imams and rabbi's etc don't have such faith, and it shows through on their outward appearance. When people have a special ability it radiates, most religious leaders are pot bellied and smell of mothballs. Their respective congregations and followers just pay lip service to what they have been taught or picked up upon from their families who in turn did likewise, so generations of failures are in evidence worshiping the Devil in disguise, in fact many don't or can't even read the language that their religious books are printed in, so they have to rely on the watered down and distorted versions of scripture which is half the problem today. You can't believe in something you don't understand nor 'potted' versions that only put the 'good' bits in and leave the 'not so good' bits out. There isn't a religion on the planet that isn't guilty of that.

Of course belief and the power of the mind is amazingly powerful stuff, it can do more than the average pedestrian can or wants to think of. The power of the mind and scientifically proved can have a dramatic effect upon whom we are, and even remote healing by others from different countries praying for the sick can produce remarkable results. Even just having negative thoughts automatically reduces our immune system and similarly positive thoughts and feelings enhance it. Where God is concerned if we need to commune with him we need the conduit called "love" nothing more, with real love in our hearts and our intentions are pure we can have that access 24/7, something that our spiritual leads definitely don't have, including the Pope.

Wise they may be with regards knowledge, but they never come out with statements that show real leadership and strength, and despite the amount of prayer they may have given to seeking guidance they can pray until the sun burns out and they will never receive it as they are not of the quality to access God. Yet accessing God is really just so simple, strip away all the pomp and "Alice In Wonderland" fabrication and dressing up and bowing and curtsying and kissing rings that many have latched on to which in the process they have all lost the plot. Religions today put themselves first and God is almost a second chance product which gives religion something to do and a means of self preservation. But times are a changing, and real "spiritual" growth (whatever that means) is needed to try and fill the void that many feel within their lives and something that's beyond the financial aspects of who they are. The limust test is you are stranded on a dessert islans, hardly any clothes, food, no religious books, etc, where is God now and what do you do next?

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Saturday 17 July 2010


Loneliness is becoming almost an epidemic in our Western society, the amount of people who are craving the company of others is ever increasing, yet friendships and relationships failing are at an all time high. The human condition is as such that humans need humans in order to survive, forget the odd recluse here and there, en-mass humans needs humans and they need a deep and significant bond between significant people in order to feel their true worth.  The underlying root of any relationship is love for without love all that remains are two or more people existing and surviving for no apparent cause other than to live.

Love is a white ball of pure energy, it's round and has no strings nor conditions, if you believe in God then this is God in a pure form. No man made religious tripe, this is pure love and as such it's unconditional. Where many people go wrong and some times mega-time, is that they themselves place conditions on others as to how their version of love or friendship should be, and when their expectations are not met they become upset and disillusioned. However it's those people that place conditions on relationships that construct their own unhappiness through the act of pure selfishness. This is where all the man made religions fall down because conditions are placed upon love and thus it never ever words.

Loneliness doesn't have to be being on your own, you can be with people who love you and care for you yet one feels isolated and at times an alien in your own skin. Loneliness can be self induced it's very often a selfish motive even though many would shy away from that explanation but it is true, and one only has to hear and see what others do to see why they are lonely or don't have many friends, the excuses come out faster than ticker tape.

There are different types of loneliness, but the main one is that of a lack of a significant other or indeed others that one can share and inwardly feel close to and have a bond with that transcends the mere acquaintance stance, it's something that resonates deep within and contains that glitter dust called love. Our significant other can be a partner or just a very close friend it matters not, what does matter is that we are loved and can love outside of our family by someone who chooses to love us and be our friend warts n' all, and that's what many don't have. A lot of people kid themselves that they have friends but on the real time swingometer in life they just have acquaintances that fit them in on their terms. And another factor is that relationships are not the proverbial 50/50 split, even in today's world, relationships work on the level they work, and that's it.

The anxiety, mental unrest, life unease, psychosomatic illnesses, absent thoughts, daydreaming, not concentrating, easily distracted, laziness, looking distant, lack of desire, dull thoughts, endless tiredness, cosseting oneself, selfishness, etc, all stems from loneliness and neither tablets nor booze nor anything else will alleviate it as it's an holistic condition of the human form, nothing more. Finding friends is not always that easy, but a negative mind will ensure that it never happens, and the thought that "you are seeking the one" to come along is beyond being pathetic it's cretinous.

Despite what barriers we come up against in life, what troubles befall and beset us, we are still in charge of our lives, and it's still us that has to make the moves and get over whatever it is, unless of course we want to spend a life reciting excuses as to why we are failures, stupid, inept, pathetic, useless, ignorant, etc, etc, and many do just that turning into cranky old individuals who end up being incapable of having any kind of relationship even with themselves.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Friday 16 July 2010


It's important that we keep our self esteem in tip top condition regardless of events or others around us and we don't cower down to ideas that others are better than us or that others are superior. There's much to do with our way of thinking and our upbringing that makes us think the way we do, but no one is better than ourselves, even if some have abilities or aptitudes or degrees of cleverness over and above our own, it's doesn't make them better as people or anything else. The airs and graces that people put on to try and elevate themselves and in the process make themselves feel better outlines that deep down they aren't as good as they make out. Which has little to do with bettering onesself.

Self Esteem is a component that's within us all, it definitely doesn't comprise of negative emotions or ego or arrogance and it's nothing to do with some people's ability to appear to be self confident as that's more of a trait than anything else. Many people who can intermingle with others with consummate ease often fall down badly when it comes to many personal problems or situations, so we should not be judgemental from afar or be biased based upon our perceptions and gross ignorance.

There's nothing wrong with not knowing even if at times it makes us feel embarrassed or somewhat less informed or even uncomfortable, we can't be masters at everything and at times we all find we are like "ducks out of water", it's just that some people have been exposed to life more than others and thus seem to know more, but they too at one time have had to go through the learning curve of life and that curve at times may have been almost vertical. If we have a true and real character then we understand that some in our company will not know what we know and for "decent" people allowances are made, for the supercilious they show who they are by their their own devised ignorance.

There isn't one person on the planet better than us, regardless of status or stature, and for some to take on the mantle of being of a "higher order" is tantamount to living in a world of self delusion, we don't need to know then nor respect them. We need to keep our own council and live within our own abilities for if we strive too hard and don't have the facilities to back up where we are going it will all come tumbling down, and often to a degree that we will not be able to have a second go at the event. Self  Esteem is being honest with whom we are and what we are, it's not putting on a facade nor anything else, which doesn't mean at times we can't try to "up our game" such as in an interview etc, but generally being who we are gives us a strength of not being taken advantage of and people not thinking we are something other than what we are, which can have dire consequences.

Living within our own skin is where we are best accomplished at doing what we need to do, it doesn't negate the daydreams and aspirations we may have, but it does firmly put in full control who we are and we are thus best able to access our feelings and emotions and cope better to keep ourselves on an even keel. No matter how bombastic others may appear, or how intimidation others are, we must keep our own resolve and never ever be afraid of saying NO. Let others get over being upset or let down, that's their business you are not a sponge or a scape goat for others ideas or deviuses or plans, you have your own to get to grips with.

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Thursday 15 July 2010


The word failure can for many send a shiver down the spine as if it's something like Armageddon approaching, yet failure has been given a rather bad name and is not all its purported to be. We all like to succeed, we like to win, we like to come out on top, we like to be at the forefront even if we are somewhat timid in our disposition, we don't really want to be lagging behind at the back straggling on. But success is a really good bed mate with failure, it's the antithesis of of it yet at the same time it more often than not relies on failure to allow success to succeed. Strength comes with knowledge, knowledge comes with learning and learning comes from experience and experience comes from literally "having a go" or "trying something out" and seeing how it all pans out.

The route to success in our world is full of unpredictables, it's full of Topsy turvy scenarios that at time give us great elation and at others almost throw us into despair. Whatever life throws at us we do come through it all, sometimes eventually, sometimes thinking "only just" but we do, and that's success on it's own merits. It's the little pitfalls and hiccups that gives us the strength and ability to continue and know what to do when "stuff" goes wrong.

Some people have failure built into their job specifications, scientists and engineers often spend years developing, researching, trying, stopping and starting again, and eventually they come up with advanced solutions often comprising of the most weird concepts and connections in how they all came about success. Sometimes success eventually comes about through an accident in doing something wrong and seeing a startling result, but nothing happens in isolation, and nothing happens without someone doing something to make it all happen, regardless of how it does.

Our greatest inventions, pharmaceutical discoveries etc, have come about through dedicated and diligent work spanning many years and endless failures, but success breaks through eventually. Those that can't stand failure aren't much good themselves and show little compassion towards others and life, it's just a trait they carry. Most of today's  companies have been through many a disaster fuelled by the avaricious and two faced media and sometimes politicians trying to gain kudos only for the companies to emerge stronger and better.

Our own lives no matter what level they reside are not immune from failure, whether it's financial, relationship, health, friends, work, but we muster through and whilst it may not be ideal, we as humans succeed, we overcome, we survive. The whole human race has survived for thousands of years some areas better than others, never the less survival equates to success and overcoming the obstacles that at times appear to enslave us. We must never let ego and pride overtake us when we have to face any degree of failure, by looking at the positive aspects of life we will gain ground like never before, it's only the pathetic and stupid that dwell on problems and not the solutions.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Wednesday 14 July 2010


There comes a time in the lives of most people when no matter what's going on around them, internally they feel lost, confused and somewhat alien as to who they are. What's going to happen, what does everything mean, life's purpose, and anything else that comes to mind, it can be somewhat different for each and everyone of us. For some a downturn in their lives proves an obstacle of great magnitude and one which even transcends imagination in how to get out of that situation. For others where wealth, health, family life etc all appear to be on a positive level a feeling of a void in the pit of the stomach turns life somewhat sour and even makes one's feelings towards those that one loves and respects turn cool and somewhat unresponsive that in itself causes consternation.

In times of mental turmoil one looks for both guidance and answers or solutions which have both meaning and clarity and are not composed of smart talk or verbiage which is shallow and offers nothing but ponderances and further mental anguish. The idea that "out there" there are people of a 'saged' disposition that can at one fell swoop offer solutions and resolution is almost farcical, and negates those who proffer psycho-babble conversations and coaches who are only as good as the last book they have read. The "saged" people who do have foresight do not offer themselves to the needy as their conversations are not absorbed by the selfish and narrow minded.

The bottom line is the 'self' it's not situations outside of our control that we for some reason can't get to grips with, it's not the lack which we see looming large or in some cases has already arrived, it's how we deal with it all and how our mind assimilates everything around us in a holistic way and manner. The viewpoint that if outside circumstances are changed "then I'll be OK" is pedestrian and whilst it may initially solve a dilemma in the long term the outlook is still fragile and subject to an even greater upset within both physically and mentally. As our mind controls our physical status it goes without saying that we need to nurture how we think in order to survive and enjoy life to the full.

There are solutions, there are resolutions, there are directives, there are answers and there is wisdom too, all of which are based upon the positivity of life and not down to internal negativity which is drummed up with shallow gaols of the self and based upon negative emotions taking the lead in one's mind. Life takes no prisoners, it holds no captives, it has no favourites, it gives no favours, life was here before we were and it will most certainly be here after us including all the enviromentalists who prescribe doom from impending actions of man himself.

Life is for living, it's here now, if we don't make the best of it, then it's our choice, but making the best of it isn't about talking everything in front of you because if you don't someone else will, it's about you being at one with yourself and still getting the best of what you and life can offer, big difference.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Tuesday 13 July 2010


So many people today are seeking that "key" or "Spiritual guidance" or "that something" to try and appease their inner thoughts as to what life is all about, or supposedly all about, and to date no one has found it. Granted there are those who have found inner peace but that's not the same thing and it doesn't rest with all that many people either as they need to have some kind of goal or purpose for peace to fit nicely in to. A bit like drinking vintage champagne from a plastic cup, it's just not quite right.

Much of the self which is in trouble or not residing well with life is due not to circumstances although that may be a contributing factor, it's about what we take in from all around us and then process it accordingly. It's this processing that gets all awry as we put in the pot "what we think, what we want, what others have got, I need this, I want that", and so it all goes on, lists and lists of all about me. And whilst there's nothing wrong about wanting something we often end up in a "carrot and donkey" scenario where everything is always just that bit beyond us and thus we never really become happy. 

The right mentality and attitude, love, compassion, etc all have positive effects on us as to going forward with hope and ability directly linked to one another. Those who are selfish and self centred and think only for themselves reap their rewards but on a different level, even if they eventually get what they seek, more often than not it's all hollow and burdens the soul to intolerably proportions.

Daydreaming is fine but reality is better, we are solely responsible for our lives no matter what breaks we get or help, we are the only ones to live our lives and there the 'buck' rests with us. Happiness is never illusive unless you forever seek it out. But as it's already within you seeking it our as if one is about to discover the language of life always makes the self neurotic, insular, withdrawn and more often than not cranky,  and then lean on spiritual things or religion as a way out, it never is. Communing with fellow man, offering the goodness from within helps the equilibrium of life, it helps transcend the ruffled edges and provides a stability that many pay for from seeing pseudo-psycho coaches and counsellors who are far from stable themselves.

Keeping an even keel, not listening to every bit of gossip and hyped news, not lapping up the debauched prose in magazines is one way to be stable too and put yourself before those who have no bearing upon your life. We have many choices in life, more than we think, and we must not foster the idea that "out there" is someone who knows the answer, because it's not true, we are both the question and the answer and fooling ourselves only brings further misery and disappointment to life.

Make sure that you enjoy life without questioning or being judgmental, you can still have an opinion, but make sure it's not going to alter your character to such an extent that life will never be on your terms and thus you will end up a failure and a misery. Smile as often as you can, expect nothing back and reap the bonus rewards that will come towards you.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

Thursday 8 July 2010


Love is the corner stone of our society and indeed life, for without love we have nothing to live for. Without love life is but a drudgery surviving from one day to the next, and for some that is their reality.

Religions are supposedly based upon LOVE, well serious ones anyway, however there are some that kill in the name of God but they are part of the darkness that's enveloping much of our world at present and will self annihilate themselves in the fullness of time.

Diagrammatically here's an aspect that defines love:-
Love is a white cylindrical object, it's pure white and supports itself where it stands. It has no strings, no conditions, it has no shadows nor anything untoward, love is the ultimate in what we can have in life.

Of course then comes mankind, and as soon as man hits the scene we have conditions and as soon as we have "religions" enter the affray we have complete failure. There isn't a stable Islamic country on the planet, go see for yourself to anyone??? Where pure love is in evidence hurt and hardship do not exist, killings are not even on the vocabulary, and anguish and depression and anxiety, and hatred, and jealousy and envy and greed don't exist either. Conversation with phrases like "If you love me" etc, well, don't even go there, if your partner says that other than in fun, pack your bags and go now.

Love gives us that fantastic feeling within that makes us want to continue in life regardless of what or who is around us, loves quenches those inner pangs of nothingness that so many suffer from, it fill that inner void that so many also have in the pit of their stomach, love transcends the mundanity of life by making what seemingly seems little very special.

Love doesn't hold hands with emotional blackmail that many families try to exert upon their siblings,  a trait not uncommon in Asia or Asian families but not exclusively. Love has a freedom all of its own that provides a base in life of great stability even in times of stress and anxiety or upheaval. Love is something that makes humans human, for those without it are almost like androids just doing what they have to do for the sake of it. Love breeds contentment and separates the good from the bad, the good find favour whereas the bad find what they deserve. Love doesn't exist in most religions as they have tacit edicts that serve more forbidden aspects of life that repress rather than create. All religiously run countries are failures and take from the world as oppose to contribute to it, and their human rights are bottom of the list, should they know what human rights are.

Love is what has made man evolve today where he is now on the planet regardless of the despots who come and go. It separates the third world from the first world, where loves is spoken about in religious contexts and global contexts it's just lip service by the chameleons who say what they have to say for effect rather than purpose and the reality behind it all.

Taking control of who we are gives us life and it gives us love, even if at times we feel helpless, we must hold on to that love quotient as it will not only pull us through it will give us the guidance needed to come out the other end smelling of roses when all the dross reap their unbegotten rewards.

Regardless of what others do or say, keep your own love walk close to yourself at all times, and if something doesn't feel wholesome it probably isn't, that little voice inside is rarely wrong, don't follow like lemmings. Love is something that you have at all times, it never runs out and the more you give out the greater it fills up within. Don't hold back even if things are not reciprocated the way you would have liked. You will always get your reward from love although it may come from a source that you had not anticipated from.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010


Whether we believe in God or not we are all going to die one day. If we believe in God then we will have our views which will have been well and truly indoctrinated into us by our religious leaders who in turn are just lap dogs to religion itself. No one created God but Man created religion and there lies the great distinction and there lies the untruths and the myths and all the nonsense and rubbish that each religion boasts that their God is the real one, well it's all rubbish. God is based upon "Love" religions, despite what they say harbour hatred and killings and discrimination and everything else that they don't like.

Some religions read out the last rights, others bury their dead whilst almost still warm, but it's really rubbish at the end of the day. If someone dies at sea, gets burned in a fire, gets frozen to death climbing a mountain, eaten by a lion etc, what happens then? Does God forsake them, won't you now go to heaven, have you jumped out of the queue for all the fees the undertakers would have taken and the church taken too? Have you short changed all the greedy people in between life and death?

The truth is if you believe in God then that's more than enough to secure your place in heaven or wherever you think you are going to go. Unless of course you are an Islamic terrorist and they will have vestal virgins awaiting them for having killed on earth. (Where do these mental Muslims people come from and what religion subscribes to this)?

Paying one's respects is hypocrisy as it does no good whatsoever except for the ego of the family and showmanship. Visiting a funeral for someone one hasn't seen for years is pathetic, why didn't you go when they were alive, it's just guilt and self induced pomp. Unless it's a celebrity funeral, and you can shed your crocodile tears in front of the press for more publicity such is the cheap nature of celebrities, that's if they aren't in rehab at the time.

Of course you may be one of those that subscribes to the Darwinian theory and be an agnostic or atheist or even an alien, and then it matters not what happens to you. After all you started out millions of years ago as a mistake and have ended up now as a mistake too so who cares. Enjoy your short spell here because the next place where others deem to go you won't be there.

The pomp and solemnity is a facile experience, and being unhappy for the bereaved is a useless place to end up in. Life is for the living, and if the bereaved really loved you, then they would definitely not want you to be unhappy because of their demise, in fact it's a bloody insult. Of course it's all initially upsetting and there is a void within, and it's strange to feel feelings of what one would like to have said and didn't and all the other stuff. But the bottom line is that the love of the bereaved still lives on within your mind forever. Going around dressed in black looking like you are a zombie isn't Godly, it isn't respectful and it certainly isn't human and whats more it makes you look creepy too.

If you believe in God then your loved ones whether they died at sea presumed lost or they were buried whilst still warm are now with God, despite the pot bellied pathetic priests and clergy prancing around like something from a sanctimonious soap opera and going through robotic rituals. For those that don't believe, sod it, you've come to the end of the road, bye bye.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010


Our attitude is everything, it represent who we are, how we think, what we feel, our opinions, our negative traits, our positivity, it is in fact our "Shop Window" to life itself. People rightly or wrongly judge us by our attitude as they initially have nothing else to go on as to how we are. And until we fill in the pieces to elaborate further then our "Attitude" is the hook by which others latch on to.

We all know people who are bad tempered, who have ego problems, who have indeed attitude problems, and like a bad smell we keep well away from them. Negativity is evil in disguise, and a bad attitude houses plenty of negativity and its something we pick up upon very quickly as we don't like it at all, it makes us feel insecure.

A good attitude can open doors, give us help, allow us entry into areas that others are shut out of, it can give us a camaraderie with life that's uplifting, predominantly peaceful and above all it sustains our verve and drive in the realms of hope and success and achievement. A bad attitude always faces an uphill struggle, resentment, depression, tensions, and like many a religion it harbours degrees of hatred, although it's never seen that way it's always put about that it's everyone else and never the self, but who's fooling whom?

Personal feelings, circumstances, events should never ever hamper our uplifting attitude from within, as it serves no purpose whatsoever. By looking at the positive side of life we bounce back far quicker than those who wallow in their own misery and try and drag others in to it too to appease their own selfishness.

Life is good, don't listen to others or the media nor anyone else that says otherwise. Even the greatest catastrophes have a silver cloud, moping about what's happened will not change the event it will only distract you finding a better place that exists right now.

Good comes to the good, bad finds its own level, don't step over the line ever as you will by default be inviting what may permanently damage not only your thoughts but your whole life ahead. Life is for living, make sure you live it well...

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010


It's imperative that our minds are as proficient as they can be, that we know who we are, where we are and that life holds immense possibilities ahead of us. Where we are right now is a culmination of events and situations, whether they are good or not so good should not affect our happiness trail. The moment we apportion aspects of life as to why we can't be happy we have given over our power of reason to circumstances and once that happens we lose the plot.

Life is not fair, we are born into a life that isn't fair, there are no laws pertaining to fairness, fairness is something that man has created himself under a "moral" code that sees goodness in areas where others suffer. However, there are those the selfish and the mean who always want something for nothing, taking from life and never give such is their narrow nature. But for the majority of us, striving to live a happy life at all costs is a paramount consideration.

Regardless of what one might be going through, we are in charge of our feelings and emotions, and as long as we realise that we can overcome and make ourselves resilient to the negativity that's around us and allow ourselves to see the good which is there is we only but look.

If we take our eyes of positivity and allow the "woe is me" attitude to prevail we will automatically lose sight of the endless possibilities and ways out from where we are to something far better. Positive people get more help than negative people.

Our attitude is just so important, if our attitude - which is our shop window to the world, one which others see us by stinks, then we stink too, and who wants someone like that? However, we all have free choice, so it's up to you... Enjoy...

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010