GETTING CONNECTED

There's a lot written about networking, 6 degrees of separation, who you know, etc, it's the "in thing" today to give everyone instant success. Just read a book, go to a network meeting, join a Business site (and they are popping up like the plague), and the rest will happen naturally. We will meet whoever it is that we need and that "Knight in Shining Armour" will say "You are just the person I've been looking for" and from there onwards it's all history. It's really that simple isn't it, that proverbial person 'out there' just waiting to meet up with us, the answer to why we can't do it alone, that conduit to greatness just a meeting away. Anyway, I must stop dreaming and come back to reality and look coldly at the real people I seem to meet at 'networking events'. No matter who we are and what we do we need people in the chain of life for without them nothing much happens. However what we seek from others, others may seek from us, and that's where in many cases the whole theory of networking no matter what guise it goes under 6 Degrees or whatever comes tumbling down. It doesn't matter what targeted audience one has it's all down to the individual and who they are as people or a person, what their hidden agenda is or what their motives are and how as an individual their characters are.

From the many networking meetings I been to all over the world I've come across the same people, mean, selfish, greedy, insincere, 'wannabies', often quite nice to talk to, but wanting to take but not give, if you can't help me I'm not going to help you, insipid and dull people, those seeking clues about how you do what you do but don't give anything of themselves, those wanting your contacts for themselves but still offer nothing of themselves and so it goes on. And I have to say I have met some fantastic nay fabulous contacts, but like mining diamonds you need to shift hundreds of tons of earth miles below the surface to even get near to the possibility of getting one. I write about the "gatekeepers" in life and those that hold back and retard others but here I must be honest and say I fall fowl of that very same thing and act as a gatekeeper myself, and this is where the 6 Degrees falls short. I do pride myself that if I can help some one I will, no reciprocation necessary, I have been helped tremendously all over the planet by people who have asked nothing of me but just wanted to help me because they could, and I like to follow that line of thought too, and do so to the best of my ability. I like to think that I am cool and level headed and have been through some dire situations been kidnapped, shot at, been on my own in deserts and jungles and still been able to smile and come through each event. But for some reason there are certain types of people at networking events that really raise my blood pressure. And yes I realise it could just be me that finds such events the way they are but it's all very real and at times not only frustrating but a wasted event, coming home with dozens of business cards I never look through ever again.

The human being is such a simple yet complex creature and those seeking are often those who are the most needy and thus formulate an agenda that overtakes their humanitarian instincts and clouds their judgement and that camaraderie of mind, body and soul. The warmth they have is on elastic and whilst openly looks and feels sincere the moment you turn your head it flies back as you are of no use to them. It's not that you can always reciprocate help to those that give you saged advice or knowledge as they may not need what you have got, but it's a matter of instant trust and feel, and if you just don't like someone for whatever reason the chances are you are not going to help them or give them your contact to your best friend or long established business contact that they need because it doesn't rest well within. One thing for sure is that if we don't give we are not going to receive, it will all eventually peter out and we will become so used to being smug that we will live in a concocted world of our own making. To be successful we need others as they need us, we can't be successful just on our own it takes others to both implement what we do and eventually buy our products or services. Our attitude is everything it is our "shop window" to successful contacts and conduits and breaking barriers and getting past the "gatekeepers", but unfortunately for many it's tainted too much about the 'self' and at that point everyone loses interest.      

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

LOST IN THE CROWD

 In the very same world there is a dichotomy of individualism, there's the advanced world where you can be what or who you want, the only thing stopping you be that person is yourself and your inhibitions, so if that's the case you aren't really that serious. Then there's the backward world, Africa, the Middle East, some Eastern European countries and a few elsewhere dotted around the planet where their rancid outmoded cultures and ideologies almost forbid people to be different such is the narrowness of either their respective governments or the people, and it's usually a mixture of both. This narrowness shows up in the fact that such countries never contribute to society they are always takers and have excuses by the volume as to why they are like that, much of it historical. But when individualism is stifled then is there any wonder progress in real terms is never made. But nothing is at it appears, what is seen on the surface is rarely seen below, and what we perceive from afar is nothing as to how it is first hand.

Similarly one doesn't have to venture far today to find a plethora of people who are lost, isolated, confused, dejected and wandering aimlessly in their minds for some degree of solace and understanding as to what their lives mean. It's not that eternal question "the meaning of life" but just them at a stargate point and not really engaging with life even after reading a stream of books with answers on everything. So good are these books depicting aspects of life they are all best sellers and being taught in the curricula of schools world wide, one thinks not. The solution to the restful mind is more about oneself than what's around us. It's often down to the thought processes of the individual not conforming to the overall dullness of those who accept life as it is and have no desire to do anything other than what they do. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it's their choice to some degree, but it does ponder the question as to where at times one fits in and that can include family, friends and those who one works with. It's not self alienation but an internal frustration that's impervious to pep talks and light conversation, it needs quenching with substantiated information that has real substance and not that manufactured by the media  which is impotent in content and has nothing to do with ultimate progress.

Society talks on different levels and its meaning is not always what it says. There are the proverbial "out of the box" thinkers, then there are those a few rungs down the ladder and that followed by those towards the lower end. All have a place in life and society and all have their individual problems which surprisingly are very similar in context even if some are slightly more grand or less so. The feeling of isolation of life not melding with oneself is not uncommon and discord within is the result which then escalates the situation. Unless one is very much an individual and most people like to think they are, and they are to some extent, but not so different from the throng which doesn't isolate them, they isolate themselves not quite knowing what to do. Deep thinkers can find life lonely at times and at other times quite exhilarating, a significant partner helps many although it's also not ideal for a few as their self instability is something they eternally struggle with.

For every feeling we have there is not only a solution there is a cause istelf and often what makes the feeling is something that is not resonating well within us that has nothing or little to do with what we are perceiving. The outward effect has a bearing on how we are living and enjoying life, because if that's out of kilter or some areas are not harmoious then they will be magnified by those areas we want to flourish in but just don't. The homogenous aspects of life can't be emphasised enough and those feelings that 'if this' or 'that' were OK so would everything else, not so. We often place something on the back burner  because it doesn't appear at large to be the culprit, yet most likely it is, it's just us looking for some self technical terms to latch on to to try and satify what's going on within then feel smug that we know and then eventually hope it will all be OK. We do have however that great ability to break out of ourselves and join the 'party' without jeapodising our thoughts and feelings and future plans, for if we do 'join the party' we elevate ourselves out of the regurgitating doldrums and see a lighter aspect to our thoughts, something that we overlooked by incriminating ourselves and that we should never ever do.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others).