BEING ADULT ABOUT LIFE

So many arguments are caused by juvenile thoughts and pure selfish feelings. The majority of relationship breakdowns are because of selfishness more than anything else oh, and of course a real lack of true love. We talk about love quite a lot there are films and TV programmes splattered all around us about love stories usually those that go wrong as hysterical drama can be interjected in to it. Happy endings rarely move an audience even if a few tears are shed towards the end. Do we know what real love is all about once the initial infatuation calms down and life starts to wash away the clouds of bliss as the odd storm brews up in the distance? Do we look differently at our partner and think they could be better or do better or that we haven't after all that much in common for the long run?  Of course these are failings in us and our ego and our attitude and our self esteem and the self itself, it's usually about our own self that we let ourselves down terribly with, not someone else, although we don't usually like to admit it. Our temperament can be up and down like a yo-yo and thus we have mood swings that reflect that up and down feeling as we tend to let everyone know for that subliminal cry for attention to try and zest things up again. It rarely works as after a while everyone knows you for who and what you are, which doesn't mean you are a bad person nor anything else, just dull and predictive. We can also be forever analytical which then removes much of what life is all about as we tend then to miss the crux of what it really all means and the nuances that can't easily be categorised.

Alternatively we can can be one of those self created morons that is politically correct, and there is no legislation pertaining to such so it's a self made stance which means you are dancing on dangerous ground as it's all based upon your perception not the reality of others. If you harbour political correctness as a means of moving forward the chances are you won't, as you'll forever be frightened to speak your mind or allow others to do the same so nothing predominantly happens. It's often a failure mentality and depicts one of lesser strength, if others get upset then let them deal with it, it's not for to you offer yourself as some self proclaimed bastion of society that no one wants and in the process holding everyone back. Understanding the bigger picture is always a good thing yet few ever do they never rise to that thought process yet then wonder why they are forever in the doldrums seeing life as an obstacle in itself and not fair and wallowing in the detritus because they can never seem to float to the surface.

Selfishness is a pre-cursor to many problems in life, loneliness, lack of relationships and commitment, mental instability, distrust, unhappiness, warped thoughts, self denial, fear of spending too much time with others - no matter how close they may be. Zealously enhanced distance relationships via email, Facebook, Twitter or other social media platform, quirkiness, fragmented life, etc, it's all to do with an almost pivotless sense of me, me and of course me. We have options and choices so we take the route that we think is applicable to us, rightly or wrongly who knows. Nothing is without consequences good or not so good, and in the overall view it matters not to others as it's our own personal life and we migrate towards those that share our view and personality even if it is from afar and see only small chunks we empathise with. Actually living in close proximity with our distant contacts could lead to everything we like about someone come toppling down in an instant such is our cultivated relationship that even if deeply motivated and concurrent on many topics is never the less fragile in context.

Understanding ourselves and not trying to think another way over the reality of whom we are makes for a greater understanding and a degree of increased happiness as we know why things are as they are and not ponder upon such variables then wonder why, again brushing over on the reality side of events. Our "love walk" should see us through, for where our "love walk" is evident so is that little voice telling us what is right or not so, and yes we do have "override" we can latch on to, but override is just that and it's tantamount to to lying to ourselves, which is the last thing we should do. We can hypothesise until the day we die yet it won't change the truth even if we don't really want to believe there is one. We can try and be another Peter Pan and pretend that we are not getting older and that life in the main is for others, but it isn't, we are part of getting old and life does zoom by even if our Dorian Grey attitude temporarily makes us feel better. At some stage everything comes home to roost and at some stage we look upon life and not see what we have done but where are we now, for that is where we live and breath.

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John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

EVERYONE IS A WINNER

Today it seems that everyone and everything is being forever judged by backseat drivers, those who are "critics" or pass judgement on others and situations. The television is littered with experts on a whole manner of subjects spouting off about what should have been done and what could be done and why it went wrong, as if none of us are experts of hindsight. Yet the vast majority of these so called experts do absolutely sod all in their lives to contribute to positive change, they just comment and nothing more. And whilst it is all supposed to give gravitas to the subject matter it is after a time like watching the same old wallpaper dry, it becomes a pure back drop for organised diatribe to fill a column, fill a few minutes on the news, fill in a documentary and for some supposedly 'intellectual' programmes it's almost a public display of mental masturbation, the same old people wheeled out of hibernation and given a 60 min life yet again.

Everyone today has a part to play even if it's just living your own life to the best ability you have. There are of course those that drop by the wayside and become fodder for those that have ideas and thoughts as to what to do with such people and there are those that actually roll their sleeves up and get down to the job of helping them whilst the intellectuals intellectualise and again do sod all about it, which seems to be becoming more and more prevalent today than ever before. Whilst we live in a big world life is getting smaller, our microcosm of an existence is the first and most important thing for us for if we can't make a go of it no one else can do so for us unless it's something not so savoury that we wish not to contemplate like a prison or such institution.

Everywhere we go someone casts aspersions as to what it is or what has been done as if they are the first and last word on the subject which if the truth be known, if they died overnight no one would miss them as their interjection of knowledge is tertiary and purely cosmetic and like all cosmetics they get washed off for a new application every day.  The media have a cosy relationship with critics but as the paper medium is dying is there no wonder why the acerbic bitchy hollow and shallow critics seem to make a life out of finding fault as if there is a prize for pulling down man's own efforts and those that try and those that invest their time and money in to what they do, whilst critics again do sod all, and in fact have little to offer the world other than perhaps at the end of their lives as bone meal. Do they get some perverse pleasure of covering up their own inabilities by knocking others, even if what others do doesn't come off, and it doesn't come off every time for everyone, but the delight and the brusqueness that they wallow in like pigs in shit outlines what weak people they really are.

Society gets along by degrees of communal acceptance, our dearth of variety is out there because people actually try and many go through almost nightmare situations just to get to the initial stages often wracked in problems that emerge as they do from no fault of their own, and of course insipid bureaucracy that springs up run by even more insipid and dull and lifeless people. It's time that there was a cull of the negatively arrogant little peasants who mascaraed as bastions of knowledge and all of understanding to know that in truth it's not them that are loved at all it's those that try and those that have real humanity and compassion within them.

Families too can be your biggest downfall as can your religion, being judged not for whom you are but from their point of view you don't do what they want? So where is the unconditional love? What happened to it? Your happiness is the prime and pole event in the hole of your life, if someone you know or love is happy what more could you want for them. Whether you agree or like what they do is YOUR take on life, to impose your views is cruel, selfish, evil and wicked and so many religions take this righteous mantle but are not even close to God in their motives. The Middle East is a living prime example.

Never ever let anyone put you down, whether you have made a mistake or life hasn't gone as well as you would have wished. You are entitled to be whom you are regardless and even if your professional presentation especially via the fickle and heartless media isn't on the day that bright, don't worry, life has a really way of bouncing back. Nearly all the greatest inventions people in life have failed and won the day and if you look back at what the critics said it's laughable as they are laughable. Stand your ground no one deliberately goes out of their way to be substandard especially when they have invested so much in what it is they do. Don't ever allow a five minute critic whose life will end up in hell to put you down. You are a winner and enjoy the kudos.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012