DANCING WITH GHOSTS

Does your past ever come back to haunt you? You ever have bouts of regret, remorse, guilt, apprehension of the past, etc? Does life at times seem like a course in aspects of deja vu or that you have feelings that it's recurring again like it's all the same but different? Do people remind you of the past or regurgitate stories of a not so nice nature that makes you feel somewhat low in spirits? Well fret not because it happens to many people every day at some juncture in their lives. Of course we can deliberately and almost consciously make decisions that repeat the past such as the "battered wife syndrome" and other areas where reality, stability and habit all roll themselves into one to try and fulfil an inner desire. It works but the result is always failure. One thing that people don't seem to bring to their guise of where they reside is the here and now and that the past is just that. No manner of conversation or saying sorry or crying or "making good" or appeasement or atonement or resolution or whatever is dreamt up today can alter, change or undo the past. What has happened has happened.

Guilt and memories of the past are manifested within the mind, nowhere else can they live, no one else can harbour your thoughts or feelings and no one else can ever change the thought process except yourself. Guilt is none productive and serves nothing more than a selfish whim of your own or worse still of others who wish to keep the past thoughts alive for their evilness of mind, it can't be said otherwise. Past loves, bereavement, financial greatness now no more, whatever it was has left its trail on life and is now confined to the echelons of history. We live in the present and our destiny lies in tomorrow which has nothing to do with the past even if decisions made yesterday affect what we do tomorrow, we can never live yesterdays decisions good or bad again. Trying to bring "closure" to the past is silly, because closure has already been effected, it's gone, so the only thing that people seek is something of a personal nature to try and bring form to it because they often can't bring together an understanding that "that's it" but it is, it's that simple. All this "we can rest now", "we can put it behind us", "we can do whatever" is unfortunately a selfish mind set often thrown up by the press or legally driven to try and add kudos but again the reality is you can't add kudos to the ghosts of time.

The problem with many people is that they are trying to find something tangible in life to give themselves meaning, importance, substance and an ability to proceed forwards with impunity and solidity, many fail. Grasping at intangible morsels of life as if that will help but sadly when they have tasted what they desire they find it is still not filling those voids within. When their desire to be emotionally quenched does not hit the mark they then set out on any other quest to see if that will effect a solution, sadly that doesn't help either. To feel really wholesome one must understand what life is all about and the past isn't something you can dance with in the present, memories are just that no matter how dear they are. If you for once delve into areas outside of substance then your whole ability will flounder and not only will life fragment it will be a job in itself to try and feel and see happiness other than for fleeting moments. Life is here, now, that is where you have to live, anywhere else and you are fooling yourself.

Ghosts don't have substance as we know it, they are the remnants of life past. If we choose to associate with anything that isn't here or to come then we are in for a rude awakening. Good mental health is our strongest essential asset if that goes we go with it. Love is the present foundation of humanity it's where everyone lives and moves and it's where we can interact. Our happiness is present time, our love is present time our life is present time and our future is partly present time. Making things up in our mind isn't smart, we need to see potential and not contrive responsibility of atonement because if it is atoned we are still left bereft of substance. For the deceased it's all too late and it means absolutely nothing. Doing things on behalf of the deceased and still say "I did it on their behalf" is a lie and not true and it smacks of selfishness all the way through. If you can't see life for what it is never expect to be happy.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012
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THE WILL TO LET GO

There's a lot spoken about the "will to let go", books describe the cathartic properties of "walking away" or "letting go" or "moving on" and to some extent it's all true. In most cases "letting go" is in reality easier said than done, it's often very hard to "let go" even when somethings aren't doing us any good whatsoever. The saying "better the devil you know is better than the devil you don't" rings true with many people but that always pre-supposes that what they are about to leave and enter into won't be any better, it usually is or the thought of leaving in the first place or moving on wouldn't have emerged. We all need to move on, let go of certain areas of our life, we leave home, get a new job, find a partner, and so it goes on. Familiarity is to some a way of life if not a comfort, routines, traditions, etc, are all very well and good but without modification of time taking place they can turn about face and start to both repress your life and you can actually regress as you tend to be stationary whilst life overtakes you. For most people "letting go" or "moving on" is a momentos task it takes a big change of heart and often dexterity to effect what they need to do and in the process it can affect a number of people who lose their degree of importance and position in life with regards to friendship and 'best friend type' status. By the same token those that make such a forward move often need to cultivate a whole new base for their lives including friends, neighbours, colleagues, associates, attitudes, environment, thoughts, perceptions and ideologies as to a new future from a different base.

There's a big difference between being selfish and doing something for yourself, being a martyr to yourself isn't smart, it's silly and will only bring on eternal regret and possibly hardship too. It's not that we can't or don't or won't give up something to help others especially those close to us but in the bigger picture what we do has a defined action and course that directs us forward. How we go forward is thus also defined by not only our actions but our attitude and our perceptions of life too. We are the only ones who can direct ourselves in life no matter what help we have or opportunities present themselves. Living with regret isn't an option if we do something we should do so with purpose even if it's not exactly what we would like, building up a store house of regrets and excuses is for the feeble minded and those that seek beyond whom they are. To move anywhere in life we must "let go" of where we are otherwise we just won't move, the circumstances of where we are and the parameters of where we live within and the conditions in which we allow ourselves to move alter quite significantly even for those who are predominantly sedentary. If we do nothing life takes us forward by default, so it's imperative that we do something no matter what to both effect a change to our betterment and place our own purpose firmly on the map. Anything less and we start to both lose the plot and become by default drones just wandering aimlessly and then the rot sets in.

Families, friends, relationships, comfort factors, etc weigh heavily when it comes to having to move on for some, for others they see the bigger picture and know that whilst the current status quo may be good and relatively wholesome, the future won't be an extension on the "now" as fragmentation takes place either by design or default and then the "I should have done this ages ago" thoughts spring to mind. There is also that thing called "the love walk" and if life is that good where you are then the love element from both within yourself and others will allow you to move onwards unheeded because with "love" in evidence only the best is good enough and if that means moving on then so be it and no bitterness, jealousy, envy, etc, will be there to tarnish it all. We are all different and what some do to move forward is a step too far for others, there's no wrong nor right in this, it is what it is, but even the very staid get bored in life and that need not happen, although much of what becomes of them is effected by a narrow attitude that does little for anyone let alone themselves. Letting go provides a paving of the way for the future list of unknowns but from a higher more updated stance, it's here that we can excel or find ourselves and allow our various aptitudes to flourish or at least give them a chance to blossom to some degree. Letting go is not always that easy emotionally even though the aspect of going somewhere better resonates well. We have to do what we have to do, but the bottom line is whatever decision you take don't make it rest with an excuse beside it, make it a committment that way you'll feel more secure and useful within.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

HEALING THE MIND

As pressures grow and people seem to want more magic in their lives or pills to pop to stave off reality or try and deal with it from a distance or indulge in the "blame culture" mentality as if to admonish themselves from just about all eventualities in life and smugly continue on their dull way forward, there are side effects which won't go away. We all know deep in our hearts what is right and what is wrong, we all have deep within what is moral and what isn't, we all have deep rooted in ourselves happiness not only for ourselves but others too, we can lie, cheat, pretend, but it doesn't hide the fact that we know otherwise. There are books, DVD's, television documentaries and seminars about "healing the past" or words to that effect, but there is nothing new and what's more whatever you do now regardless is not ever, ever, ever, ever, going to change the past. Nothing you do now is ever, ever, ever, ever, going to erdacate the thought or situation or happening or how you feel now because how you feel now is directly under your control. Atrocities of the past augmented in a different time line, under different circumstances, under different conditions with a different mentality cannot be absolved or made "alright" nor "healed" nor anything else, they were and are as they are history, the statement of "healing the past" is man made as it cannot happen as it has already been healed anything more at a later time is no more than PR.

All this business "we need resolution" - "then we can move forward" is modern day twaddle as "resolution" doesn't have any power nor access nor denial to a better life, only you can do that. If you hold a fictitious point in life as a benchmark that you cannot go further until that has been resolved then so be it, but make no mistake YOU have created it as it doesn't exist whatsoever other than in your mind. It's not that saying "sorry" or finding the "answer" isn't good, but if you are waiting for that you have literally put your authority in someone else's hands, which is pathetic and totally stupid, and makes you look pathetic too. By all means remember the dead and what good they did or what they suffered but this has NOTHING to do with God nor respect nor anything else, it won't change a single thing even if you yourself feel that is does, that's just you conjuring up that thought in your mind as a 'feel good' factor, but that's all it is, you don't get "bonus points" in life for doing any such thing. (Although it makes good press and TV coverage as they can drag up the past and regurgitate it all again). Similarly not so savoury deeds that happen within families that are made a feature of a 'dark moment' in the family and passed around do nothing whatsoever as to assisting the future to grow and be positive, feature making of memories speaks volumes of smallmindedness.

On a more personal level we all need to "feel" that things are right in life, we all dislike injustice, we all dislike the "bad guys" we all dislike unfairness, we all dislike deceit, we all dislike abject rudeness and bad mouthing, and we all like to know or feel that those that go against the grain are justly dealt with, despite the politically correct morons who see life from a different angle and have excuses for everything, and are in themselves a bane on society. By and large all of that does happen and even the police have to adhere to the stupidity of protocols and "I have my rights" which if you commit a crime should be waved immediately. We don't live in a perfect world at all and it's becoming more litigious and meaningless, however our own lot we can totally control and should guard strenuously and uphold because if we don't no one else will. Interference from others no matter "how well meaning" should be avoided as outside help often shares little of the bond others have between themselves and relationships that equal 100% can be as stilted as 90/10 and work perfectly, this is where "onlookers" even those who love you go way above their station in the advice stakes. Healing of our mind isn't a step in life, it isn't a protocol, it's what we decide to make it as it doesn't exist, even if one deep down seeks a degree of fairness to have taken place but hasn't so far. It will NEVER hold you back whatsoever unless you decide it will, speaking on behalf of the dead is not smart it's smug and conceited, taking on a statement of which you have no authority other than what you have bestowed upon yourself.
  

If what you seek, whether it's an apology, or sorry or admission of responsibility etc, is received it still hasn't changed anything towards the aggreived or dead, they will not have a better "after life" or whatever. And if they believed in God and you do then you must know all earthly atrocities are null and void in Heaven where truth and understanding and pure love exists. So it's YOU who is dealing as almost the "Devil's advocate" in trying to play God on an earthly scenario. It may appease you mentally but what most people find is when their plight has been acknowledged and they say "it can all be put to rest now" they find that within themselves there is an enormous void which never ever gets filled or quenched, appeasement is one thing of the self is another. Of course it's who and how we are that makes us do what we do and for what purpose, often the purpose isn't quite as straight forward as it's made out to be with hidden agendas and selfish motives to try and uphold the self and give a purpose also to the self using the cause as a conduit for something missing in their own lives.

Some people - for many reasons - culture is one of them, can never 'let go' of hurt and whilst they say they believe in God they don't otherwise they wouldn't say what they have done. Retribution and saying "God will punish you" are two elements that these cultures just can't seem to eradicate from their vocabulary, which is their biggest downfall and explains why they are failures and wherever they are in numbers there is permanent unrest. If you respect yourself then life is predominantly good, if you harbour negativity then you will reap exactly what you have sown. Being two faced isn't an answer to anything and it doesn't even bode well as to any healing of any kind especially the mind where it plays havoc. Your life is yours, don't build upon the past its gone for good, tomorrow is where you are to end up, make sure it's a good tomorrow, and never ever follow anyone else's dream or crusade.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SEPARATING OURSELVES FROM CIRCUMSTANCES

We all fall victim at times to circumstances as they temporarily take over our own will and we thus become an alien to oureselves, this can happen when we have a death in the family, made redundant, diagnosed with a serious condition, have financial problems, etc, they affect directly our way of life and hit hard on our emotional stability. Of course we are not all the same and some people seem to worry about everything whereas others seemingly worry about very little and take whatever comes as it is and deal with it accordingly. There's no right or wrong we are who we are and administer areas of our lives the best we can. Sometimes things stagnate or get worse because we are ignorant and fail to seek help or assistance or advice which is what many do to their detriment. Ego, pride, self smugness etc, tends to creep in and we scorn knowledge that others may have built upon in similar circumatances of others and the possibilities that exist to ease the burden or relieve the mental stress that one has swimming around in their heads. Too many people walk around with the "I know best" attitude not knowing that the options thay have have just been negated because of the lack of clarity and forsight of the self. Carrying problems around in one's mind is not smart, it's not respectable, it's not a pennance for anything of the past, it's not necessary, it doesn't change anything, it doesn't promote anything, it doesn't justify anything, it doesn't preserve your identity and deeds, it doesn't help with the future, it doesn't contribute to your friends and family, it doesn't gain sympathy it grates on others as they look upon you as pityful, it's not a prelude to better things in the future, in short despite the severity of whatever it is you harbour it doesn't lead anywhere positive.
Our attitude towards life is paramount to how we live it, it's the base of all of our thoughts and feelings coming together to present whom we are to the world, our "Shop window", and whilst what lies behind that "Shop window" can vary enormously if the shop window looks and is shoddy, you know yourself you'll walk right on by. Whether it's raining, sunny, cold, snowy, etc, we can choose to be happy and bright, if we once start off the day with "Ohhhhh it's raining" then that's predominantly how the day will be and any other aspect related condition we have chosen will allow our feelings to match it. Those that look at the weather, see its raining and accordingly go forward determined to enjoy the day despite those obnoxious people they dislike at work, and missing the bus, and having to put up with the temporary office bercause of refurbishment, and things not being where they should be, and the party they are going to that evening that they are not too excited about, etc, the day is good and bright and yes they can smile and be civil to anyone regardless of how they are to them.

Failure, fear, loneliness, depression, etc, stem from taking hold of the circumstances around us and absorbing them like a sponge, we internalise them not seeing beyond the now and cogitating upon circumstantial aspects of life that could change or alter in a flash or offer solutuions and alternatives that because we don't know of we revert inwardly with a melancholic feeling. Habits and family traits are often a basic cause of this, the tendencies are if our families are negative then we have a chance to be negative too, and the opposite if our families are positive towards life in general then so are we. However, we all have choices and can directly change towards a positive mode should we really want to. Like "Soap TV" everything revolves around trivia or someone else's problems and smallmindedness, for without smallmindedness there wouldn't be a plot. It's one thing to watch such on television but many live in a smallminded arena in life and their lies their downfall and lack of real potential. It's almost failure in the making, with you feeding the ingredients towards it.    

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

ADVANCED LIVING

How we get on in life can at times be something of a lottery in that what we expected can suddenly just go out of the window and we are left standing pondering about what to do next and more to the point how do we go about what to do now as our mind goes blank. We like to think we have the potential to stave off "negativity" in our lives or that perhaps we are resourceful and should events arise of a not so nice nature we can cope. Sadly for many when the Tsunami of life really does hit then it's a real shock, whether it's health, relationship, financial, work related or whatever else it can be the  mind takes a hit and the aftershock can be devastating, knocking one's self esteem and self security into a frenzy of  nothingness. However we plan our future it's a bit like flying an aircraft, we need to make course corrections en-route otherwise we will not arrive at our destination. Many people get to where they are in life by default, sometimes where they end up is not quite that accessible and it renders life more of an existence of living as opposed to a place which is harmonious and joyful and brings with it that feeling of excitement every day they get up.

Wealth has very little to do with enjoying life even if it brings with it opportunities or the availability of more options. As hard as it may appear or seem or not wanted to be understood is that our happiness is within us, what we can't achieve or our ego or desire can't access causes us untold inner mayhem that plays on our mind as an almost subliminal programme that is constantly replaying itself thus taking the edge off of life. Our success is always relative, what others appear to have as success is but a culmination of circumstances which produce a result, and just because those circumstances of the self are not of a similar proportion does not mean anything less. Our own personal ideology and take on life plays a vital part too in how we both assess life and how we thus accordingly respond to it, so we can in effect be the cause of our own downfall of short comings in life. It's at this point that many people make an assessment of themselves one which is grossly unfair or even based on a fallacious substance but never the less causes them to feel out of kilter with life and what they think they should feel like and it then starts to bring them down to a level which is purely self induced.

Our personal stability is the vital link to happiness, contentment, fulfillment, purpose, definition and that fabulous feeling that we can get that life is good regardless of circumstances and what is displayed on the news. If we don't have this and many don't then life is forever a series of ups and downs and struggles and wishes and thwarted dreams and disappointments and let downs and then we live in a cloud of consternation which makes our journey a troublesome one. Once we reach this stage others around us start to appear on predefined levels based upon where we are and that has negative values that we find difficult to come to terms with and they too see that we are not fully connected with them and thus relationships start to wane a little if at times diminish into something of a valueless entity. No on should live for the sake of it, feeling wanted and needed is part of the human condition and if we can't accommodate others in our lives then we will render our own purpose on a substandard level.                    

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

CHERRY PICKING LIFE

We all like to have the best in life it's almost a natural instinct we are selective when we shop and selective about the people we have in our lives too. Within all of that most people have a degree of compassion, love and understanding which allows us to share with others aspects of themselves, the opposite of which is called "selfishness". Similarly in other aspects of our lives we almost veer on the side of "cherry picking" and his includes quite a number of areas within our lives that we take ownership of. One of those areas is religion, if one believes in God then the chances are you are a member of some religious belief as opposed to believing in God directly as all religions are man made and therefore have faults and added bits and pieces. Many like to cherry pick the nice and easy bits to fit in with their lifestyle and understanding and the rest well, tend to allow it to reside at the back of the mind. This tends to actually be the rule of thumb for many in their lives as they tailor aspects of themselves and thus hone more specifically to aspects that concern them or make life easier. 

The problem at times with "cherry picking" life is that it can be habitual and thus we can both live and work in an abridged version of it missing out on various aspects and not acknowledging much of what is needed to give life substance. We can also ride roughshod over others and gradually this will make us appear both aloof and not fully engaged, which will after a time be the case and life will end up as short bursts of 'what I want" at he expense of others values. Whilst here is nothing wrong with looking after No.1 in life (yourself) it can render  the self somewhat incomplete and not having the assistance nor help of others when needed, which at times is essential. No man is an island. Furthermore if "cherry picking" becomes almost second nature then it will have very adverse effects upon any type of relationship whether with a significant other or just friends and associates and possibly communicational skills in general. Like everything in life balance is the key point, we should always be wary of people who constantly "cherry pick" who are around us as you will be always way down the list on their priorities if at all at times and there's no reason that by default knowing this you should allow yourself to be put into such a position.

The opportunities that abound around us are infinitesimal so we rightly need to pick upon both those which suite our purpose and our character too, it's this fine honing that makes life what it is. At the same time we really do need others for if we don't have any significant people in our lives loneliness starts to creep in and that really can be a major problem, and indeed is for many. Psychologically we need to feel needed, loved, wanted and need to feel that we want others even if it's just a "best friend" if we negate all of this then we start to develop psychosomatic feelings which can be very varied and be our downfall with regards mental health  and stability. Having said all of that we can "cherry pick" on behalf of those we like or care for in that we wish them to have the best of what is on offer or available so our deeds of compassion and understanding not only come through but are rewarded by a heightened camaraderie rather than isolation. Everyone makes their own way in life regardless of others, we have to be the masters of our own course and manoeuvre our around whatever is head of us, make sure the journey is wholesome and then enjoy the ride.        

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

OUT OF SORTS WITH LIFE

How we feel about life varies from moment to moment, sometimes we just feel "out of it" for no apparent reason, other times there are a number of issues going through our minds and at other moments we just lose focus on whom we are where we are going and that possibly life isn't offering much in the area of stimulus or excitement. Our reality is what we live in, whatever life is or isn't it's our take on it that makes us think and feel the way we do. Our reality can make our lives or lead us down a road of hard work and toil, it can cloud our judgement, our thoughts, our feelings, our clarity and our overall happiness factor. Whatever we experience we process it via our minds and take whatever course of action we deem appropriate including becoming remorse, miserable and sullen, it's self pity taking over but the bottom line is it's you who has instigated it, no one else. There is no such thing as "well you'd be like this if you had ..... " or "life has made me this way" life has done no such thing, if you want to be selfish and small minded that's a choice you have made, it's not like a virus that you can pick up. Of course mild forms of depression are a different matter, often circumstances and solutions weight heavily and we can't process it all proficiently enough so we go into a dull state of regressive thought, yet here again many induce such a state on to themselves as they actually feel it's a worthy and plausible thing to do which gains a degree of respect, where did that notion ever come from?  Some even think it's smart to say "I'm depressed", "I'm stressed" and throw in the Hollywood drama of responses and toned voice as if it heightens their credibility factor.

There is only one way to deal with life being out of sorts and that is to literally deal with it yourself by not giving in and making yourself feel bad. Everything has a lifespan, both good and bad things come to an end and circumstances change but facing up to adversity is by far the best way to keep your mind, body and soul in pristine condition and enjoy the life ride as opposed to enduring it then harbouring the memories. For those who were seeking an easy option or an answer that's far easier and there are many who perpetually seek the easy way if foolishly, you reap what you sow. For those that "get on" in life and just "do it" the rewards are great as is self confidence, understanding, compassion, drive, happiness and fortitude. If we can't keep a good council then no one else can do it for us no matter how much they want to. What goes on in our heads is ours and only ours and no manner of help, advice or strategies given by others will change how you think unless you want that to happen.

Life is what it is, it doesn't have the ability to make a choice for you or want to make it extra nice because it likes you or wants to "get back" at you because it doesn't, it's not that fragile nor thoughtful. Life is exactly what it is and that's a culmination of endless options and permutations coming together all at once all the time, hence change happens sometimes suddenly other times gradually, but change never the less happens. Life can throw into our pathway a demagogue of  choices all of which are not so savoury, similarly even the good choices have repercussions and strings to them. Our own verve and tenacity pulls us through, bestows a degree of authority, success and knowledge and it goes officially under the banner of experience. Whether we take heed of that experience and decide regardless to enjoy life is down to us, it's not a point of discussion for friends nor anyone else. The more we decide to enjoy and not be a sponge to what's around us the better life will not only become but our whole attitude and the attitude of others around us will improve and before we know it there will be an uplift from where we were to a more positive and refreshing stance in life. If we challenge the good to find credibility with the option of reverting back to bad if it doesn't pan out then you are really pathetic and need to alter your complete ideology about yourself and life. Like attracts like and negativity attracts negativity, positivity attracts positivity, your option, your choice.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SHOWING YOUR EMOTIONS

We are by default sentient human beings although I think some will throw that in question, never the less it's a mark of a superior being. As a race we are marvellous people, it's only the trappings and conditions that tend to thwart our real ability to grow such as those in the third world and the dearth of religions that restrict life and cause repression as opposed to praising their God and allowing growth. They all suffer who believe in fear and restriction as can be seen by their backwardness in life and the way they have to rely on others to develop what they find incapable of doing themselves. Our emotions are one of the prominent aspects of our lives, we move throughout the whole of our life via an emotional wave, some days it's relatively calm others it's vibrant in every way. It's these which give us our feelings and in turn we feed off of these feelings and react according to how we deem it is expedient. We have within us free will and therefore we have negative emotions too such as envy, greed, jealousy, selfishness, anger, arrogance, etc, and these in turn are linked to how we feel as a person. If we are relatively secure in life then we get on quite well and cope where we have to. If we are not so secure then we readily pick up the negative emotions and feel moody, angry, jealous, etc, and start to use these emotions to our benefit - or so called benefit - to try and get our own way. It's called emotional blackmail and it's the lowest of levels one can almost stoop to. Where people feign tears in order to gain sympathy, be moody in order to try and get their own way and so on. Keep well away from such people and don't ever pamper to their debased thoughts

Many a young "thug" type of person has difficulty in showing emotion, it's almost a "sissy" thing to feel upset, angry yes, but upset or loving - forget it. This misplaced understanding results in a life of trials and tribulations and dares and a whole host of random stupidity, when deep down the onset of real love from anyone that cares is what is most needed. After all with real love - unconditional love - hurt and upset and anger don't come into the equations (back to why some religions are always killing and getting upset - evil doctrines). Governments are useless at such things as their agendas are power based and so when it comes down to emotional remedies they are also thuggish and impotent even if they pretend to understand. Of course societies and cultures play a big part in how we grow up and deal with life, some cultures are fiery and emotionally volatile whilst others are more controlled and think before they act. Some of the Eastern cultures are the worst in that they make a Hollywood drama out of anything as a means for others to help them, women there do this exceptionally well, it's all conditioning and religion and is a real far cry from living and life as it should be as it's always an Achilles heal for them. Then we get to the other extremes where manufactured effect is almost de regeur such as the real Hollywood awards where speeches almost turn your stomach over with the whet diatribe they come out with.  

People react to others emotions, we are judged by them, but it doesn't mean that someone who goes ape like has more feeling than someone who remains calm and stands their ground, it's often the latter that has more compassion and less theatrical selfishness. There is a time and a place and what the outward signs are don't always reflect the inner state. We tend to veer towards those that share our emotional position in life, it makes us feel more secure and in control and enables a more stable stance in life regardless of whatever happens. We can all cry with tears of joy or sadness a development of extreme emotion in both cases, some are more susceptible than others, and there's no detriment to ANYONE who sheds a tear, it's a natural part of yourself and something that one should never be ashamed of. However back to the "thug" scenario, the personal shame of being emotional or selectively emotional, whereas if they were real stable solid humans they would just be themselves and not live behind a facade that's unreal and designed to repress, a state of human failure. We can more often than not even with someone we don't know see through feigned emotions or those who enhance their joy or grief to effect self notice, selfishness has no limits and we can feel within those who are genuine and those who 'put it on', the emotional vampires always seeking others energy. It's good to show emotions as it's good to look good, it reflects who you are and the sincerity of who you are too. Never emulate others, don't cry at a funeral if you can't, don't laugh if you don't think it's funny, but do either if appropriate as and when it affects you, you're not on trial nor do you need approval or acceptance from anyone. Be yourself and allow the inner you to blossom.  

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

GRIEF

Grief can be so debilitating that it takes a hold of life and steers you into a corner and holds you there to the extent that at times one feels that nothing will ever be the same ever again, and the truth is it won't. It's not that life won't be fun and exciting anymore nor the will to proceed won't return and life will be as it is from there onwards worthy of living and worthy of participating and communing with those around you. It's ironic however that when grief strikes and it can and does happen to almost all of us at some time in our lives those that we feel can or could offer support like family and our religion offer nothing but coldness and a wall of stone, especially where bereavement is concerned. It can be like vampires coming out of the woodwork all seeing what they can get and finding every legal excuse to get more. Where at one stage of life "love" was a supposedly unspoken entity it's now a cold war and each to his own, where the smiles reveal the fangs and frosty sliver. And whilst to some this may seem gruesome it is unfortunately for many a very real reality. That at times many fear for their own sanity and purpose and most of all "love" for themselves, that someone "out there" knows and understands and will share their real tears and not some emotional outburst like that of little children "on and off" at the flick of a selfish thought. The relations that never liked you or you were the wrong religion, but now your partner has died it all comes to roost their evilness starts to ooze out.  

How we deal with real grief is down to us, and we are all different those that cry the most are often the insipid selfish ones that want everyone to join them in what they are going through whilst those that tend to stave off such are harbouring the love of the deceased that helps even through the trauma of the aftermath. Of course and "here we go again" religions mount on the grief trip after all it gives them something to do, wearing dull dark clothes, moping around with long faces, it's as if the deceased didn't actually love you after all and you've just found out. If whoever it is that has died loved you then THE LAST thing they would wish is that you be unhappy, otherwise what's the point of it all. And sympathy is the shallow side of offering real help to the extent many offer sympathy but no help and actually get a "high" of trying to buck the other person up whereas they are acting as vampires themselves draining their captive of energy for themselves. Sympathy has an effect of boosting others up, then when you leave them they have an almighty low afterwards. Not very nice.

Age has a related value on our perceptions in life, everything revolves around what we have done, are doing and will be doing, although the variances and boundaries can be very muted and glide into each other. What age doesn't have is a monopoly on pain, especially the mental type of pain, that is possibly the most debilitating as it literally messes up your whole control system. It's so easy to become introverted when grief strikes that it can form a situation where you rarely come out of it, this happens in the Middle East as they go to town on morbidity it's a way of life as is complaining and moaning yet doing nothing to rectify it, however they don't have any exclusivity or monopoly on it. One thing that grief often brings home is the reality of who you are in life and what others mean to you, your 'family' may be those you have chosen to be around you as opposed to the biological ones who are judgemental and shallow. It brings home too where you stand in life and what all around you means with regards happiness, freedom, duties, life itself and what and how you choose to think about things in general. Grief is but a stepping stone and depending upon your belief you either move on - not forgetting the past as you can't - or dwell forever where you are and carry it as a burden. Never forget if love is involved then there is a real freedom, but a genuine freedom not a selfish freedom that you keep to yourself as if it's something exclusive because it's not.  

In times of trouble don't scorn those that you think could offer some support as for them it could also be difficult to muster up the ability to offer it, and beware of those who seemingly offer everything because they can, it's at times those that do little that think deeply and the effusive ones that are shallow. One must always feel the depth of love and the need from others which is over and above sheer words and never allow the feeling of self sorrow to overtake who you are despite the pain that one may be reliving for a while. An understanding of those that now scorn, pour oil on troubled waters, who reject, who reprimand and turn face, who show their true colours be at one with yourself, because the love that YOU had with that significant other was priceless and above their deceitful facade. Life is for living, for loving and that is the only golden rule for grief, and the only golden rule for your own self is that of love at any cost, it's never left, and what was there is still there even if slightly but temporarily tarnished, it's still there in all its glory. Don't ever turn your back on it no matter what.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
  (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others

SHARING - THAT FEELING

One of the greatest feelings you can ever have is that of sharing, sharing moments with strangers via a common understanding of whatever has happened or been seen, even without saying a word. Or most deeply heartwarming is that of the sharing of loved ones and friends a part of your life regardless of the incident or situation. Even sharing a moment together of great distress is a moment in reflection of the gratitude of that person being there at that time that helped so much and brought a real presence of what life and humanity is all about. There's nothing better than being able to share your partner, your children, your parents, your very close friends that at times are even closer than relatives. The feeling that you can say and do and confide and be silly (or worse) in their company and laugh it all off because they not only love you but respect you and deep down like to feel that when you share you share, it's not a conditional relationship it's "anything goes" and you both or all lap it all up for what it''s worth. That warm comforting feeling, that almost smug feeling on invincibility that life just can't get better that material values are at those moments just worthless as they are objects without heart or soul.

It's essential to us all that we can share with others for if we don't or can't then it makes us both hard within and forms a mental barrier that hinders our ability to communicate efficiently and with depth. Sharing with pertinent others also allows us to share with those we don't like or don't trust or those who are in effect down right rude to us too, and stops offence being taken as well as getting upset by others saying either deliberately or out of turn things we find distasteful or possibly hurtful. Sharing creates a brighter mind and elevates life shunning out loneliness and selfishness which can be crippling and debilitating for the self and life. Sharing on a humanitarian basis not the sharing which is "all about me" enables productivity, trust, respect, faith, creativity, opportunity, advancement, purpose and an overall feeling of well being regardless of any overall circumstances. People who share are more apt to "read situations" as they are lighter in their minds and can see troubles and others faults far more than those who keep to themselves everything for a whole range of fears about letting go and thus destroying themselves or worse.

But sharing isn't telling everyone everything about you, it's not being that proverbial "open book"  it's allowing others to 'meld' with you, to feel the real truth of life and whatever else transpires needs a high degree of respect and inner value to come forth, which separates those out who are only in life for what they can get themselves, which is usually nothing. Sharing is the bright outlook, a magnet for good things, that almost permanent smile, that look that everything will be OK if you let it and not drag whatever it is around with you seeking pity or worse sympathy (failure). Sharing is that feeling that life contains more than what we see there is a depth to it that fills us with greatness, humility and at times positive direction and uplifting thoughts, it challenges the morbid and opens the flood gates to aspects of life that we never knew existed. But like attracts like and so again the lesser souls of thought get attracted to the lesser souls of thought and continually then wonder why others have the smiles when they perpetually look glum or scornful.

Sharing is not imposing, it's not being a burden, it's not being taken advantage of, it's not being negative, real sharing is a homogeneous aspect of bonding with certain others in life and combining what's naturally inherent, it's that great "oneness" feeling that humans have built within that explodes and causes genuine concern and laughter in the same sentence. That one can speak without premeditated thought and just say it as it comes, it's a real freedom that very little else can qualify the same effect. And for those that make up endless excuses as to why they haven't any friends (and the list is endless) it says more about them than and that sharing is a step too far in their life or indeed vocabulary. If you can't share you can't live life to the full, everything is contrived and excuse ridden and situationally driven as to what value you place on what and if I do this maybe they'll do that, life accounts in life are people who are failures let loose. If it doesn't come from the heart and you have to justify everything or "I did this they did that" attitude then you will always live below what expectation you would wish to enjoy, and the very sad thing is that it's you who has devised that route.  Sharing denotes with a firm presence of love and warmth towards others that's sincere and generous unlike those that have little sharing ability because there is little else within that's of any value or worth.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

HELP ME - PLEASE....

It's of no surprise that right now somewhere someone is desperate for help of some kind, it doesn't matter what it is, desperation is the same for everyone regardless of the nature or the severity of the situation. But further down the line there is a degree of desperation that just doesn't quite hit the 'critial list' yet constantly burns away deep inside of us awaiting a solution that's affecting our life. It's the constant gnawing that 'toothache' that's at the back of our mind that's throbbing away and taking the edge of our every day life, making our small choices and decisions seem larger than they should be and bringing our world into a narrower focus that eliminates or excludes what we could really be enjoying. Whether at work or at home, the feeling that there is just something that's preventing life moving to the 'fast lane' weighs heavily and many people are caught up in this scenario, many that on the outside one wouldn't realise nor see nor even anticipate that such problems exist within them as they smile and get along their daily life as if trouble free. Yet deep within the seas of rage battle against the odds and the inner vision of life is anything but that what appears on the outside.

Help is something that many people steer well clear of and even more so bottle up what they have churning around within for fear that others may judge them on what it is that's bothering them.  It's this mixed emotion of being "thought of" by others that also exacerbates the situation greatly as they then feel locked into a scenario that they don't want to discuss their predicament and feel it's either not that great as to get professional help and again that they will be judged by the professional as being weak or stupid or that they should be able to deal with whatever they are going through but still can't. It's such dilemmas that many face daily and at times problems or mind situations come thick and fast that it can at a certain moment be almost inwardly overwhelming and then sleeplessness sets in and irascibility and one gets on a short fuse and the humour levels diminish and so it all gets worse.

Mental health is one of the biggest problem areas in the West, although it's increasing in the developing world and intermediary worlds too such as those religiously controlled areas that have extremely high mental health issues because of it. If the mental health of a nation flounders then everything goes with it, the Arab Spring which will come to very little in the end will be a curse of those that didn't have the courage and strength of conviction to make a clean sweep, resulting in everyone even the victors whoever they may be suffering at their archaic deeds. It's essential that we like our computers get rid of both the unwanted files and the accumulated redundant information otherwise everything slows up and possibly crashes, as humans we can act in that very same mode, although crashing is something we must strive not to do at all costs.

Help is available in many places even if initially we assume that it isn't or we think it isn't because that way it's easier to absolve ourselves from doing anything, yet at the same time we are only putting off the day of eventuality and a high degree of happiness which we are admonishing whilst keeping our problems at the forefront of our minds. Different things effect different people and it's up to us being experts of ourselves to do something about it. It matters not what others think, if they think bad thoughts you don't need them, otherwise they should be compassionate and sympathetic. Help from whatever source one will find that you are not alone and that feeling of embarrassment and
failure and letting yourself down will immediately be eliminated and a feeling of joy, upliftment, strength and new ability will flow immediately within. Often to the effect of "why didn't I do this before" and to know that you are not alone is also so just so emancipating that ones problems are sent into check straight away and a renewed feeling of ability flows through your whole body.

Whatever your situation respect YOURSELF, forget what others whoever they are think, forget about self created stigma, forget about your own embarrassment - as if you are the only one with a problem, forget about what will the professionals think - they have problems too, forget about anything but getting your problems solved whatever they are it matters not, medical, mental, physical, financial, relationship, situational, family, work, bullying, children, stalking, the list is endless if it's causing concern then it needs to be dealt with and you to get back on track as soon as possible. Getting back into the driving seat is far preferable than to be a passenger in your own life, think hard, fast and quickly make a decision that whatever is troubling you long term, not just temporary events, isn't going to be there any longer and make a move to free yourself up to a better and more rewarding life. One thing to beware is that of selfish concern by family members or friends, who are definitely not experts in your problems and will always give stilted, biased, weighted answers towards what they think and have little regard for yourself. Independent advice is on the whole by far the best solution and one where you can be neutral in what you say and think and feel and without reciprocal emotion which is self generated. It's your life, if you can't do it for you  no one can and if you falter then those around you are of no value either as respect and communication just flies out the window.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

SECOND GUESSING LIFE

We all like to get on in life, to think we are the masters of what we want to do and where to go etc, yet how many people let themselves down by trying to foresee events and situations and read the thoughts of others only to thwart their own plans for no other reason. We have around us even in our own families grumpy people, opinionated people and we can even have friends who are like that, it all stems out of both narrow mindedness and again that area called selfishness. The area that's "all about me" and if it isn' then I'm not going to be happy and what's more I'm going to tell everyone as well. It even happens in companies too, you can't do this or that or it will upset so and so, well, let it, what divine presence are they bestowed with that others aren't? Nothing what so ever it's all been created by themselves for themselves and the only reason it's gotten this far is that everyone has allowed it to happen. Like political correctness, it doesn't exist in law it's only the pathetic that find it's a place to hide and try and gain some kudos, whereas it makes everyone look small and insular.

Schools should teach people to make their own way in life far better than they do, it's great to learn about writing, reading and maths, plus all the other life skills and knowledgeable areas, but if we are frightened to do anything it's all come to nothing in the end and produces a whole array of negative areas and psychological events that after a while subliminally affect us, sometimes to great detriment. It can affect our own self esteem and our ability to not do as well as we could do, especially at the impressionable ages. The classic scenario of this was the black migration from Chicago to New York and vice versa years ago where many black families prayed upon their own children for doing well, as if it made the children seem better and the families not as good, so the children had to leave to be free. And whilst it worked well, in as much as the children did well it's definitely not an ideal start in life having to leave home or your own town or city just to get on. Being able to fight back, metaphorically can be am amazing and liberating experience, and once and for all put those 'cloth heads' who impose a self status of grandeur (or inferiority with ego) back into the sorry state they deserve to dwell in or perhaps see the light themselves and become anew at their enlightened knowledge.

Too few people have the self ability to challenge and that applies to management in companies too to equalise the status quo and give respect back to everyone, and not allow some to reside with a self devised pomp and stature which is definitely not deserved nor has any credence or credential. It used to be that many Asian families has demarcation lines and endless duties and "things" that couldn't be said or done otherwise someone somewhere would get upset and start to perform an anger ritual of gross selfishness and endless winging, it still exists but less now. Of course if someone imposes whether it's within the family or work or even with strangers an autonomy of grandeur then it's a mixture of abject selfishness and a lack of self esteem, and it's very easy to eradicate it, because once such people are toppled they are but putty in your hand, worthless entities and shown up for what and who they are and have then absolutely nothing to substantiate themselves anymore.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
© John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

BEING ADULT ABOUT LIFE

So many arguments are caused by juvenile thoughts and pure selfish feelings. The majority of relationship breakdowns are because of selfishness more than anything else oh, and of course a real lack of true love. We talk about love quite a lot there are films and TV programmes splattered all around us about love stories usually those that go wrong as hysterical drama can be interjected in to it. Happy endings rarely move an audience even if a few tears are shed towards the end. Do we know what real love is all about once the initial infatuation calms down and life starts to wash away the clouds of bliss as the odd storm brews up in the distance? Do we look differently at our partner and think they could be better or do better or that we haven't after all that much in common for the long run?  Of course these are failings in us and our ego and our attitude and our self esteem and the self itself, it's usually about our own self that we let ourselves down terribly with, not someone else, although we don't usually like to admit it. Our temperament can be up and down like a yo-yo and thus we have mood swings that reflect that up and down feeling as we tend to let everyone know for that subliminal cry for attention to try and zest things up again. It rarely works as after a while everyone knows you for who and what you are, which doesn't mean you are a bad person nor anything else, just dull and predictive. We can also be forever analytical which then removes much of what life is all about as we tend then to miss the crux of what it really all means and the nuances that can't easily be categorised.

Alternatively we can can be one of those self created morons that is politically correct, and there is no legislation pertaining to such so it's a self made stance which means you are dancing on dangerous ground as it's all based upon your perception not the reality of others. If you harbour political correctness as a means of moving forward the chances are you won't, as you'll forever be frightened to speak your mind or allow others to do the same so nothing predominantly happens. It's often a failure mentality and depicts one of lesser strength, if others get upset then let them deal with it, it's not for to you offer yourself as some self proclaimed bastion of society that no one wants and in the process holding everyone back. Understanding the bigger picture is always a good thing yet few ever do they never rise to that thought process yet then wonder why they are forever in the doldrums seeing life as an obstacle in itself and not fair and wallowing in the detritus because they can never seem to float to the surface.

Selfishness is a pre-cursor to many problems in life, loneliness, lack of relationships and commitment, mental instability, distrust, unhappiness, warped thoughts, self denial, fear of spending too much time with others - no matter how close they may be. Zealously enhanced distance relationships via email, Facebook, Twitter or other social media platform, quirkiness, fragmented life, etc, it's all to do with an almost pivotless sense of me, me and of course me. We have options and choices so we take the route that we think is applicable to us, rightly or wrongly who knows. Nothing is without consequences good or not so good, and in the overall view it matters not to others as it's our own personal life and we migrate towards those that share our view and personality even if it is from afar and see only small chunks we empathise with. Actually living in close proximity with our distant contacts could lead to everything we like about someone come toppling down in an instant such is our cultivated relationship that even if deeply motivated and concurrent on many topics is never the less fragile in context.

Understanding ourselves and not trying to think another way over the reality of whom we are makes for a greater understanding and a degree of increased happiness as we know why things are as they are and not ponder upon such variables then wonder why, again brushing over on the reality side of events. Our "love walk" should see us through, for where our "love walk" is evident so is that little voice telling us what is right or not so, and yes we do have "override" we can latch on to, but override is just that and it's tantamount to to lying to ourselves, which is the last thing we should do. We can hypothesise until the day we die yet it won't change the truth even if we don't really want to believe there is one. We can try and be another Peter Pan and pretend that we are not getting older and that life in the main is for others, but it isn't, we are part of getting old and life does zoom by even if our Dorian Grey attitude temporarily makes us feel better. At some stage everything comes home to roost and at some stage we look upon life and not see what we have done but where are we now, for that is where we live and breath.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

THE POSITIVE YOU....

With negativity being peddled all around by the media and the fickle in heart, why is it that some people are always buoyant and bubbly whilst others are always dull and seek to find excuses and failures in society. The bottom line is that what we say think and emanates from within our mind, nowhere else, it's something of our own creation, it's a product of our thought process and it's our copyright. Whether we choose to repeat or reiterate others statements, follow the crowd, swear and be angry, be violent, be deceitful, be moody, be dishonest, and a whole host of other things it's ourselves who chooses all these stances no one else. We have a veritable choice of ways and ideals that we can call upon to steer our ship in life, how we view life is the destination that we will choose to make the journey towards. The predominantly negative will forever have obstacles ahead of them, bouts of frequent lowness and perhaps mild depression. The negative will see life from a pure stance of "I don't know" and thus never see the ways out or the outlets or the opportunities that abound. The more one dwells on negativity the more one will flounder in life. The negative only see negativity and latch on to it, they view those that aren't negative as "fortunate" and thus absolve themselves of being lazy, thoughtless, selfish (and selfishness here plays a big part - most negative people by default are selfish).

The positively minded people see everything, the good, the bad and the indifferent and can see within all of those areas where people are in themselves, which is why they keep positive. They don't apportion blame nor do they seek to oust those who do well nor dwell in the company of the negatively minded, as there's no point, they have nothing to offer, in fact negative people are often emotional vampires sucking the energy of those that are positive. Positively minded people generally have better health, a better social life, a better outlook and acceptance in life, make less excuses as to why things are because they know there's a solution within as to rectifying that thought, and in all are always open to suggestions, ideas, new ways, and increasing their lot.  The negative on the other hand are full of excuses, full of "poor old me" and "it's not fair" and "I've tried everything" which is a mind that's stuck in a groove that forever rotates around itself.

Positive people make decisions, sometimes wrong ones but they make decisions, the negative people procrastinate and make up scenarios that only exist within their mind and become fearful. Negative people can't believe in God even if they purport to do so as God should give you the strength and purpose to be positive. In  all negativity is the evilness of your own creation as it doesn't come from anywhere else. And if one has to reiterate the words "how can you be positive when all around is bad" or something similar then you have stated your case and are acting upon a life of substandard thought and are almost useless to yourself, completely lacking in self esteem and self respect. There should be Government Health warnings saying "CAUTION- NEGATIVE PEOPLE CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR WELLBEING".  We don't have to accept what others say that doesn't resonate with us, and similarly if any of our family or work colleagues are negatively inclined we can opt out from as much contact as we can only interfacing as and when required. Fuelling negativity isn't smart as it does no one any good.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

LOST THAT LOVING FEELING

Love is an intrinsic part of us as individuals, even for the bad guys it's still a part of them too. It's also true all over the globe including the modern day despots and ever growing religious fanatics who seem to have more of a mental condition than anything else. Love is what makes life bearable and what has sustained mankind throughout time. Man has looked after himself and has grown to where he is today even though there are still primitive tribes thriving in both African, South American and Far Eastern forests. On the whole people like doing things for other people, helping them if lost, caring for them in specialised units, in fact for many helping is a vocation, unlike the finance industry which is heartless and cold. Of course there are exceptions there are those whose mental stance on life has overruled love for the self, gain at all cost, burglary, muggings, sexual offences, greed, selfishness, isolation of humanity and living without thought for others, and so it goes on, and other than mental conditions it's all self contrived. Unsocial behaviour is seen daily in all walks of life including public transport, shopping malls and even on Facebook and other social media sites. It's an act of the self over and above others brought about by unhappiness - and unhappiness manifests itself via many forms.
          
Life affects everyone differently and we go through various stages as time goes by, we encounter problems, situations, events, and our perception of it based upon how we are faring and feeling at any one time. It's good to be loved, it's good to be wanted, to be needed, it's good to love and it's good to care for others that significantly mean something to you other than your partner, such as best friends and very close people who resonate well deep inside of you. Without any of these feelings one is almost alone, and indeed it's often how loneliness is caused by the self, rather than by circumstances. In order to love one has to give, if you can't give you can't receive as it's the same conduit, so if you block it up with self created thoughts then you will by default alienate yourself from love. You'll see and know it's there but you won't be able to either access it or to allow it to touch you and give you that warm feeling which keeps that void deep within at arms length.

There are those who are desperate for love and those that almost have a vocation spending time on "Love and Dating Sites" much of which results in zilch and verges on correspondence between the deceitful and and the fanciful, all matching false identities and building hopes on clouds that pass and are never seen again.  The con artists, the frivolous, the game chasers, those that use the site for pure entertainment, and those who use it to pass the time way. Love is something that never runs out, so the more you give the more it's replenished and thus the more you are a contented bunny, feeling elevated rather than deflated even when life takes a slight tumble. Those that forever extol love as something special that they are saving for the "right" person are to be avoided at all costs as they harbour a high degree of self created selfishness. Love is special but it's also universal and if we adhere to television, the press and other negative outlets then we can generate a degree of paranoia which will eradicate our ability to love.

If life feels low for no real reason or that circumstances are not as they should be or you have isolated yourself and ponder endlessly about it but do nothing then it's a mind stance. It's not that you haven't love within or that love isn't evident it's more to do with accessing situations over and above your love walk, where the mind is set to identifying life bit by bit and love is an adjunct that holds little value in it all. Loneliness is where communing with others has left the individual bereft of that exchange hence many people have pets as they give unconditional love something that few humans can do. There is a definite increase in people feeling lost and almost in a vacuum of nothingness which they can't pin point or put their finger on, yet at the same time one only has to listen to just a few lines of their conversation to understand this mental stand off position. Don't allow the emotions of negativity ever to get the better of you or you will unfortunately suffer by default a degree of lowness and feel that that "Loving Feeling" has left, it hasn't it's just that you've inadvertently side stepped it.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012