FEELING EMOTIONALLY BEREFT

Life is what it is and there's no getting away from the fact that at times it all goes swimmingly well then all of a sudden Whoosh that proverbial spanner gets dropped in the works and all seemingly comes to a grinding halt. Our fun and excitement are suddenly reduced to a low ebb and our vision and fun for what's ahead gets put on hold. No matter how many sighs we make and no matter how many tut tuts or other noises we make it doesn't make the slightest difference as it alters nothing whatsoever. We are amazing people, we do so much that we take for granted that we assume we can do so many things and we have gone through so much that when something daunting hits us we at times wonder why and how are we going to manage. Yet deep down we know are going to get through it even if the task ahead plays on our mind. However, something a little more closer to home tends to hit us and that is that feeling in the pit of our stomach or that nagging feeling that we have in our mind that just won't go away. It's not that we are ill or indeed suffering from anything whatsoever, it's a whole culmination of events that are straggling or dragging on in our lives that we seem not to shrug off but deem that we will get around to but don't. Like the small stone in our shoes it's the size of nothing yet hurts so much.

At the end of a busy day many people feel the need to either "chill out" or meet up with friends, the same result is expected, to overcome the day's hustle and bustle and 'normalise' life so that we can rest and start off a fresh the next day, seeing life new and vibrant and wonderful. It works, but only so much as we let it, for over riding what's lurking beneath is like putting a plaster over an open wound without cleaning it, it just festers and festers until it gets worse. Our mental health is so vitally important because if we let that diminish then everything we do will be lacklustre and if that becomes the norm then we effectively live below par. Once we live below par life takes on a different perspective and mantle, we look at all around us with different eyes, it all means something different and we start to calculate life as opposed to living it. Whereas once we would do things and enjoy company now we have to "think" about it and see if we really want to or just be on our own, this is the "half way" house to loneliness and a selfishness brought on by ourselves. Ironically it's quite often that those who do least feel the most tired and start to cosset themselves and feel precious because they have entered that "downward spiral" that's controlled from within. 

Lethargy, tiredness, lowness of life, vacant thoughts, lack of spontaneity, lack of sparkle, lack of communicational abilities, lack of social conversation, irritability, lack of patience, making gruff noises to yourself when waiting for the elevator - it's taking too long, etc, are all pointers to a mind un-rested, as it's an exclamation to the self, for nothing else will speed up or change what is in motion already. Patience runs thin and we take exception about others making out that by default we are badly done to whereas what we are giving off is allowing others to take the lead because we certainly aren't, wrapped in our own mentality. Everyone has a life, so get out of the notion that "your problems" are of interest to others - they are not. It's not that others won't listen but they have problems too and only you can sort out what you have to sort out and only you think in your mind, no one else.

We have the power to start and stop a whole array of things and events in our lives, and not base it on what others think or do. It's not being selfish or self centred that's different it's us doing what's the best for us. It's here that the very selfish use that adage to do whatever they want based upon selfishness, but for most people they do what is expedient because that resides well within as opposed to having to fight within to effect change. Life is what it is we can't "dip in and dip out" to suite ourselves as that causes instability. Fun exists every day, friendship and love are there every day, happiness resides within every day and if you have to make any excuses as to why you can't be happy YOU are the problem, it rests nowhere else. Getting back to "square one" is essential and one should not have to put up and carry needless burdens, if stuff happens stop all the "Oh not again" or "why me" or "it doesn't happen to others" or "when will it all end" because that gets you nowhere it's allowing stupidity to enter into the affray, and when that happens you become stupid and you're not. Respect yourself, allow all that's good to enter into your life, don't be a bystander, don't makes excuses why life isn't as it should be, circumstances can change in an instant so don't rest on them be assured that whatever happens you are going to be fabulous, so be it - fabulous.

For more : www.thelifealchemist.com
FREE “E” Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
www.liferadiointernational.com (24/7 emotional content) - App download too. iPhone/Android
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012



(If you like the blog please pass on it could be of interest to others)

ONE SCENE - THREE VIEWS

What truth there is today in what we read or hear varies enormously and how the facts are defined are usually more about who is saying what than the physicality of it as it is all so biased. There are predominantly three types of reporting or stating the facts all carefully designed to reflect the views of who is saying what and how they would like you to think of them. There is the political reporting from a politician, then there is the media reporting and then there is the personal reporting which can also vary enormously depending upon your degree of understanding or how hysterically defined you are yourself. The political view point say to the war in Afghanistan as a point in question is "We are going to overcome Al Queda restore Democracy and give power back to the people allow them to manage their own affairs" etc, which is rubbish as it won't happen in this century in Afghanistan, but that's political rhetoric (even if well meant) living in cookoo land. Then there is the media version on Afghanistan, "To date thousands have died people are without water and electricity is erratic in that the power supplies cannot cope with demand. Life is full of daily suicide bombers causing untold grief and anxiety etc", and so it goes on outlining all that's bad and inhuman which in an Islamic state is not difficult. Then there is the personal delivery and that you make up for yourselves as it can vary and you are a part of that variance and hold opinions yourself even if they are wrong from a total lack of defined knowledge. Most people think they are right based upon very little real understanding, but that's OK we all know that and as you have to live with your opinions that's OK too.

But where does it leave us all, getting so much confused information none of it totally inaccurate but all very biased and contrived. How do we assimilate it all and how far does it go to getting a decent picture of what is really happening, because political statements will veer well away from any negativity, media statements will highlight it, neither will meet in the middle, and the public will say what they want depending upon their pre-formed bias anyway. Life goes on and we have to do what we have to do but the very worst thing that can happen is that we become "armchair experts" like the political marionettes in the television debate programmes, all seemingly holding accredited positions and all constantly not daring to be totally honest for "fear of reprisals" and all getting it consistently wrong. It comes under entertainment so that's what it is. But as individuals we need to understand a degree of real truth, not a truth that harbours elements that is "not spoken about" but a truth that's less biased and covers a cross section of information not a heavily weighted section that is more likely to gain attention, even though like any news today it's all so hyped adding to the drama via their over stated failed Hollywood pros that it is all akin to a fashion of wallpaper rather than what it's meant to be. Where others suffer grief its fodder for the media, it's the basis of a news programme nothing more and one atrocity is moved on to another and then another, without them there wouldn't be any news at all, or it would be good news and that's the last thing stations want.

We can't help but pick up from the ambient wallpaper of the backdrop of life, we are observant to a degree and we have to meld that in with our own life and how if at all it affects us and where we are likely to go. After all we are the masters of our own ship and we have to steer it through a whole range of different tides, weathers and obstacles that are in our lives ahead of us, so it's only expedient that we want as much peace as possible in every area of our lives. And as war costs a load of money it makes the economy less vibrant and produces as a degree of melancholy too as death is almost an inevitable side effect. Our understanding in life is what makes a country what it is, hence Africa and the Middle East are incredibly biased towards a negative life that they bring on much of their own demise especially if it's religiously intertwined, almost the kiss of death itself. The happiness of a nation is reflected in the people, the people reflect their lives and what they know, if what they know is wrong they will in turn give out wrong signals and eventually the gap between right and wrong will cause a disruption that will bring on disharmony. When talking make sure what you say has truth in it an not just an opinion on it as the more you say something the more you will become attached to it and if the subject moves on you won't. Bias is a part of life, make sure that you are not taken in even with what resonates well within you or suites your way of thinking otherwise you'll end up out on a limb and the happiness factor will cease to flow.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

WHAT'S WRONG WITH LIFE

Most people seem to have a gripe at something or another, it's not that they are predominantly moaners and groaners it's just that there is something that slightly jars with them with regards certain topics or people or evil religions forever killing or governments being weak or whatever it is. We have an opinion in life even if we choose not to vent it we still have some thoughts and it's those thoughts that subliminally fuel a whole array of feelings regarding life. Over and above this there are various levels of thought sometimes just residing there and unchecked, for example if you say to someone would you like to be more happy in life the answer is predominantly a 'yes. Then if you say to them are you unhappy they predominantly say "no", so what is it that that could make you more happy other than the bog standard answers like "more money", "new car"  whatever it is. It's usually material things which can give a degree of happiness but it's only for a fleeting moment, once you get what you want your desires move on and so it goes, a bit like the "carrot and the donkey" situation.

Wanting more or better isn't at all wrong, it's actually quite natural, but happiness hasn't really much to do with your desires it's more to do with the state of your mind, and your literal mind not something that's hypothetical and conjured up because it sounds impressive or incorporates a list of 'likes'. Life will never ever be perfect because 'man' as a race isn't perfect so we in our judgement have to decide where we are and that we are going to enjoy what we have got even if at the same time we strive for better. That way we carry happiness with us and the joy of life and it makes everything far better and we communicate far more efficiently too and have the ability to understand more proficiently at events around us that happen. There are to many stock questions stock answers, people almost automatically say "yes" if it involves more of something good or tangible, even if they can't readily think of what to do with them immediately. Similarly if you asked someone to name three important things in their lives they initially struggle even if they are married with two children. It's not that those (their partner and two children) aren't the most important things in their lives and once pointed out state "yes they are" it's the initial thought that it has to be something material that's been acquisitioned or bought or a legacy or a winning of something.

For many life isn't that bad, they know many of the global circumstances and situations are beyond their control and that their lives are in their domain no one else's so even if it could be better the current enjoyment is still there and still very tangible. How we think and our reliance on negative emotions steers our course, we are the only drivers of our vehicle called "self" or "me" so if we go out of kilter then we wander aimlessly and start to veer all over the place which in turn causes further consternation and we sail at times too close to the rocks and without any safety boat should we collide. Collectively people can do many things, like topple governments and regimes etc, but individually we have only the authority to do what is expedient for us without alienating everyone else around us and causing further problems.

Life can be good and great, life can be whatever you want it to be. Your attitude is of prime importance for that is the culmination of all your thoughts and feelings and mind set rolled into one and projected for the public to see. So if your attitude stinks so do you and no one wants to know you or help you or even bother with you for why should they if you can't meet life even half way. Do you dwell on the negative aspects of life or the positive aspects of life, because whichever one you do dwell upon will decide your course of action and your degree of self esteem. It can get habitual to see negativity and if so it will pull you down, if you tend to see the positive aspects of life, which doesn't mean you don't see or understand the negative aspects, then life will be full of hope and upliftment. The bottom line is it's your life your choice - make sure you make the decisions that serve you well otherwise you'll end up with memories of emptiness which is not what life is all about.      

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

LIFE'S TRIBULATIONS

Everyday someone somewhere is going through an ordeal of a magnitude that they would never have dreamt of, it doesn't just happen to a few but encompasses millions of people across the planet. It matters not what it is, medical, financial, relationship, poverty, tsunamis, etc, it is what it is and it taxes the self to enormous lengths. How we cope differs from person to person and how we deal with life and look upon life, after all it's part of our personal evolution and it will have a place in our lives whether we like it or not. Whether we make a shrine to it and carry it around for time to come as a topic of conversation or whether we place it in our archives as something that just happened at a certain time is down to us. And what we may think is a personal tribulation for others is relatively nothing as compared to what they have been through, endured and come out of the other side to live life yet again. Everything in life is relative and how we see life is relative to our enjoyment, how we embrace life, commune with life and share life makes a difference to our personal presence and whom we choose to have around us or possibly who chooses to be around us, hereby lies a big difference. Most people are themselves the biggest problem they will ever face how we think things through or reason with life and all its foibles comes from one solitary place, the mind. Our thoughts are unique even if they at times concur with those of others. If we choose to imitate or copy others that's a choice we have made, if it's the wrong choice we are to blame not those we followed, taking ownership is paramount to a really full enjoyment of life at every level.

Life takes no prisoners nor holds any ace cards nor warrants any favourites, whatever we do or encounter is exactly what it is. We are at the helm of our own ship and thus we have to steer it, if we don't we will end up floating randomly and where we end up is anyone's guess. We can't apportion blame nor fairness to anything as we must be in control of ourselves regardless of the circumstances which are always subject to change. Intellectual conjecture is stuff TV programmes are made of for entertainment not a key faculty for managing life. Within the pathway ahead are two crucial areas, love and associated happiness for if we are devoid of either our purpose and feeling of being wanted is lost, at which point everything loses its meaning. The God factor is significant in many lives even if the God they are worshipping doesn't exist because as it gives that "after life" understanding that makes paving the way here on earth a worthwhile cause, even if it's rough and unjust. The atheists will die and be confined to dust as forgotten and as a transient entity without any purpose and certainly no after life anyway.

Every individual is a success, failure is something that has been conjured up by the media and the narrow to apportion credentials that are not of their own volition and thus make a statement at something that is far beyond their own comprehension. Sadly many choose to see success as something tangible, yet for many getting through the life they have been delivered is more than a success it's a tribute to their own stamina and determination and strong will. Many so called successful people have gained an asset upon which they are judged but at the end of the day it all means nothing as life is an attitude which is a free spirit and definitely not linked to any religion nor commercial enterprise. Dealing with life no matter what is very personal even though some like to share it with everyone they come across, which in reality makes things worse as they then build a scenario with gravitas and that's then an entity in the mind whereas before it was just a problem to be solved.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
© John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

THE POSITIVE YOU....

With negativity being peddled all around by the media and the fickle in heart, why is it that some people are always buoyant and bubbly whilst others are always dull and seek to find excuses and failures in society. The bottom line is that what we say think and emanates from within our mind, nowhere else, it's something of our own creation, it's a product of our thought process and it's our copyright. Whether we choose to repeat or reiterate others statements, follow the crowd, swear and be angry, be violent, be deceitful, be moody, be dishonest, and a whole host of other things it's ourselves who chooses all these stances no one else. We have a veritable choice of ways and ideals that we can call upon to steer our ship in life, how we view life is the destination that we will choose to make the journey towards. The predominantly negative will forever have obstacles ahead of them, bouts of frequent lowness and perhaps mild depression. The negative will see life from a pure stance of "I don't know" and thus never see the ways out or the outlets or the opportunities that abound. The more one dwells on negativity the more one will flounder in life. The negative only see negativity and latch on to it, they view those that aren't negative as "fortunate" and thus absolve themselves of being lazy, thoughtless, selfish (and selfishness here plays a big part - most negative people by default are selfish).

The positively minded people see everything, the good, the bad and the indifferent and can see within all of those areas where people are in themselves, which is why they keep positive. They don't apportion blame nor do they seek to oust those who do well nor dwell in the company of the negatively minded, as there's no point, they have nothing to offer, in fact negative people are often emotional vampires sucking the energy of those that are positive. Positively minded people generally have better health, a better social life, a better outlook and acceptance in life, make less excuses as to why things are because they know there's a solution within as to rectifying that thought, and in all are always open to suggestions, ideas, new ways, and increasing their lot.  The negative on the other hand are full of excuses, full of "poor old me" and "it's not fair" and "I've tried everything" which is a mind that's stuck in a groove that forever rotates around itself.

Positive people make decisions, sometimes wrong ones but they make decisions, the negative people procrastinate and make up scenarios that only exist within their mind and become fearful. Negative people can't believe in God even if they purport to do so as God should give you the strength and purpose to be positive. In  all negativity is the evilness of your own creation as it doesn't come from anywhere else. And if one has to reiterate the words "how can you be positive when all around is bad" or something similar then you have stated your case and are acting upon a life of substandard thought and are almost useless to yourself, completely lacking in self esteem and self respect. There should be Government Health warnings saying "CAUTION- NEGATIVE PEOPLE CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR WELLBEING".  We don't have to accept what others say that doesn't resonate with us, and similarly if any of our family or work colleagues are negatively inclined we can opt out from as much contact as we can only interfacing as and when required. Fuelling negativity isn't smart as it does no one any good.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

SOLUTIONS TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

We often look at life and try and foresee what may happen in the future, sometimes even not wanting to think of what may happen as it's too unpleasant. But "stuff" does happen and we have to make decisions sometimes very unpleasant ones in order to effect a solution even if it's by default, we still have to do it. If one listens to what people say, which many don't today, they prefer to speak rather than listen and give their point of view one can almost instantly get their opinion, their views, how they think, what they are planning to do, their temperament, their traits, their sensitivities, their stubborn points, their narrow views on certain subjects, their failure aspects, their desires, what excites them, their flippant tendencies, and their fears, plus a whole load of nuances that may arise. It's given away in what and how we say anything.We can at times be our own worst enemies, something we don't wont anyone to tell us anything, we can also at times mix fact and fantasy together and try and make some degree of sense out of it all only to get into a worse situation than before. Decisions at times have to be taken, we also have "ideals" as to what we want, how we want it / them, how it looks like, how it fits in with our desired pattern in life, and so on, so when a decision is made it's contrived to hopefully meld in to what we have to do. When that doesn't happen which is quite often and a compromise is not to be made then we have what we call a problem. But it isn't a problem, it's just us not liking what the solution is to be. If we are honest with ourselves we know that as a truth from day one, but often we go a long way down the road to see if at some point we can effect a change that brings it all into line with our thoughts and feelings, it rarely happens. In relationships this is a prime area of conflict rather than compromise and can be sorted easily but rarely is. Silly but there we are.

We see other people making drastic changes to their lives and apart from a few glum looks they seem to be handling it well as if it's all so easy and that they have come to grips or terms with what has had to be done. We then place ourselves into their position hypothetically and see how we would feel and it just doesn't work, we have too many obstacles and personal likes and dislikes in the way and it would mean altering our cosy relationship with the current status quo, which will definitely not do. And so it goes on, we keep looking at life from afar, assessing what we think and feel in relation to others and it rarely works out. Of course we are all different some people are gregarious and accept what's what and get on with it keeping a positive mind as to the future. Others completely the opposite and any opposition to what they think or feel is riddled with the "woe is me" attitude that prevails and almost at times makes them ill or full of ongoing consternation.

There is a solution to every problem although not always as we would like but never the less a solution exists, politicians have to make "overall" choices in what they do "for the best" as there usually isn't a "one size fits all" yet real statesmanship is sadly a thing of the past where PR and personal positioning overrules what is expedient and many such people are weak as are many company leaders today except where personal greed is an option and they'll then fight to the death. Life has to have a purpose, it has to be universal and if you have a partner it has to encompass both elements, although there usually is one element that is more ethereal and selfishly motivated (I like, I want, I don't like, I don't want but none of it having real substance) so some degree of pressurised compromise has to be made, but it usually is made and ultimately it turns out right.

Placing the word problem in your vocabulary or potential problem often creates what one is seeking to avoid, a solution as to seeing around or ways forward existing over and above the dullness of negativity which dwells on lowness and thus misses out of the availability of options. Often solutions will not please everyone who is a part of the solution, but that's alright as we have no contract with life to make others happy nor sort out their problems even if we are a part cause of them albeit by default. It's a degree of maturity that others the recipients of our effected decisions take control and steer their own life back into how they need it to be after all they steer their own ship not you. Provided your decisions are made with clear thought i.e. not malicious then one need not worry about the effects on others even if they selfishly moan and groan, which which many do today. You are number one, without being selfish or self centred, make a decision that suits you, do not compromise yourself in life as it will only compound problems further down the line, respect yourself and don't play the martyr, which is not to say that if minor compromises need to be made via your good will then so be it. But be logical not emotional or you will by your own hand default yourself into a position that you will most likely come to regret and in the long term not have any thanks from those you thought of well at the beginning in making your judgement.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com

©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012