Tuesday, 21 February 2012


We often look at life and try and foresee what may happen in the future, sometimes even not wanting to think of what may happen as it's too unpleasant. But "stuff" does happen and we have to make decisions sometimes very unpleasant ones in order to effect a solution even if it's by default, we still have to do it. If one listens to what people say, which many don't today, they prefer to speak rather than listen and give their point of view one can almost instantly get their opinion, their views, how they think, what they are planning to do, their temperament, their traits, their sensitivities, their stubborn points, their narrow views on certain subjects, their failure aspects, their desires, what excites them, their flippant tendencies, and their fears, plus a whole load of nuances that may arise. It's given away in what and how we say anything.We can at times be our own worst enemies, something we don't wont anyone to tell us anything, we can also at times mix fact and fantasy together and try and make some degree of sense out of it all only to get into a worse situation than before. Decisions at times have to be taken, we also have "ideals" as to what we want, how we want it / them, how it looks like, how it fits in with our desired pattern in life, and so on, so when a decision is made it's contrived to hopefully meld in to what we have to do. When that doesn't happen which is quite often and a compromise is not to be made then we have what we call a problem. But it isn't a problem, it's just us not liking what the solution is to be. If we are honest with ourselves we know that as a truth from day one, but often we go a long way down the road to see if at some point we can effect a change that brings it all into line with our thoughts and feelings, it rarely happens. In relationships this is a prime area of conflict rather than compromise and can be sorted easily but rarely is. Silly but there we are.

We see other people making drastic changes to their lives and apart from a few glum looks they seem to be handling it well as if it's all so easy and that they have come to grips or terms with what has had to be done. We then place ourselves into their position hypothetically and see how we would feel and it just doesn't work, we have too many obstacles and personal likes and dislikes in the way and it would mean altering our cosy relationship with the current status quo, which will definitely not do. And so it goes on, we keep looking at life from afar, assessing what we think and feel in relation to others and it rarely works out. Of course we are all different some people are gregarious and accept what's what and get on with it keeping a positive mind as to the future. Others completely the opposite and any opposition to what they think or feel is riddled with the "woe is me" attitude that prevails and almost at times makes them ill or full of ongoing consternation.

There is a solution to every problem although not always as we would like but never the less a solution exists, politicians have to make "overall" choices in what they do "for the best" as there usually isn't a "one size fits all" yet real statesmanship is sadly a thing of the past where PR and personal positioning overrules what is expedient and many such people are weak as are many company leaders today except where personal greed is an option and they'll then fight to the death. Life has to have a purpose, it has to be universal and if you have a partner it has to encompass both elements, although there usually is one element that is more ethereal and selfishly motivated (I like, I want, I don't like, I don't want but none of it having real substance) so some degree of pressurised compromise has to be made, but it usually is made and ultimately it turns out right.

Placing the word problem in your vocabulary or potential problem often creates what one is seeking to avoid, a solution as to seeing around or ways forward existing over and above the dullness of negativity which dwells on lowness and thus misses out of the availability of options. Often solutions will not please everyone who is a part of the solution, but that's alright as we have no contract with life to make others happy nor sort out their problems even if we are a part cause of them albeit by default. It's a degree of maturity that others the recipients of our effected decisions take control and steer their own life back into how they need it to be after all they steer their own ship not you. Provided your decisions are made with clear thought i.e. not malicious then one need not worry about the effects on others even if they selfishly moan and groan, which which many do today. You are number one, without being selfish or self centred, make a decision that suits you, do not compromise yourself in life as it will only compound problems further down the line, respect yourself and don't play the martyr, which is not to say that if minor compromises need to be made via your good will then so be it. But be logical not emotional or you will by your own hand default yourself into a position that you will most likely come to regret and in the long term not have any thanks from those you thought of well at the beginning in making your judgement.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

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