Friday, 10 February 2012


The incidence of mental unrest in relationships is at an all time high, it matters not what religion you subscribe to, what doctrine you wish to understand nor where you live, although that has other effects upon your thought patterns. In life there is one common denominator and that is yourself, so if you have failed at many things time and time again including relationships then you are the point of commonality in the whole thing. Don't blame circumstances, situations, conditions, or 'it just didn't work out', etc, you are the common denominator in the whole shebang. There's none of this "well you're lucky" or "I just don't seem to meet the right people" it doesn't exist. What you did, find, enacted upon, joined into, might have been wrong, flawed, incorrect, etc, but you went into it, and seemingly have done so time and time again. How, why, is another matter but taking the leap into doing what you did for it to fail yet again outlines to everyone else that somewhere down the line there isn't that intelligent connection that's seeing possibilities which come to light as if almost in a recurring manner. Not dissimilar to the "battered wife" syndrome.

Of course failure isn't as bad a situation in some areas as we seem to make out, scientists often fail for years trying to do something and it not working out until one day that 'eureka' moment hits them. Many people are alive today because of the constancy of pushing forward over and above failure in researching pharmaceuticals. Similarly with engineering and science life is often trial and error and even in accidents we learn what not to do or how better to modify the service or product for future betterment. Failure can make us stronger and wiser and give us a degree of personal wisdom over and above that which we could learn from just every day life.

Our relationships span a multitude of levels in life from one with ourselves, do we love ourself? To those with significant others, friends, family, work colleagues, to those who we meet in the shopping mall, services and other intermediaries. Some people walk around with an almost permanent smile and face life as it is whether or not they receive any reciprocation from others is immaterial. Others walk around with a glum dull face and if anyone smiles at them they get unnerved and even upset wondering what the catch is, such is their low debased and insular nature. How we view life is how we live it, the better we are at looking good the more help and encouragement we get from others and the more respect we tend to get too. No one likes to help grumpy gruff sloven people, it goes well against the grain both psychologically and morally, it doesn't feel good, and we need a degree of reciprocation in order for us to make additional moves in what we can or will do.

Loneliness for the main part is down to failed relationships with life and the amount of selfishness that's in that thought behind it all. There are those who are forced because of physical and mental conditions to live in an isolated situation, but the vast majority aren't. Selfishness, meanness, laziness, bad attitude are all contributors to loneliness. Failed life relationships are self created, and it matters not whether one is naturally gregarious or reticent, in between all of this is humanity, and if we don't embrace it or we have stilted views or prefer to be biased towards our family or race or creed or whatever then we will sadly and statistically be veering to a life as time goes by to be on our own. People who are on their own tend to have more problems mentally and physically than those with good and constant friends. Whatever you think, whatever excuses you put up, the ball is in your court, no one wants to hear the excuses anymore, if you can't give of yourself you are certainly not going to receive back what humanity has to offer.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

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