WHEN IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

 Much of life is based upon perspectives, ideology, circumstances and situations, and that as we all know can differ radically not only from country to country but from person to person. We often ponder and wonder why someone did this or that or what possessed the government to do this or that because the consequences of such have drastically backfired, etc. We listen to politicians on television and at times with amazement wondering if they are on drugs or perhaps need to be or even are they of this planet, it's often that groups of people change their opinions when engaged in different strata's of life. We hear architects waxing lyrically about buildings with sweeping lines and wooden facades that will age with time and blend in, yet all we see is a clinical cold object with unkempt  faded cladding that appears neglected cold isolated and without any warmth that is an ideal medium to cause repressive thoughts and a home to vandalism and graffiti. We hear local government talk of multi-culturism, yet all we see are swathes of foreigners in enclaves that are the new ghettos and where everyone else keeps away even commerce so it houses alien cultural abnormalities and inbred dysfunctionality and gross isolation and then becomes run down and violence, drugs, poverty, crime and social inability creeps in and then they wonder why it's all happened. A slum run by social services and then that's the beginning of the end if not the end already, designer built problems from lax attitudes, stupid and weak minds.

A lot of life is way beyond what we have any control over, not that we need to give up or admonish ourselves of any responsibility nor keep our opinions to ourselves. Never end up like some politically correct idiot that tries to stymie conversation as opposed to allowing free thought, if others get upset, so be it, it's for them to get over it. Often why people get upset is that the truth hurts so they never actually talk about it themselves or they are by nature inferior and seek compassion by taking sides, it never works, they all eventually die lonely. We don't have to make sense of a great deal in life for we do not have to engage with others ideals, morals, perceptions etc, as long as we keep ourselves in tow and others similarly then the sum of the greater usually wins the day, and fortunately most people adhere to a commonality of good. Logic is a good baseline in life, often people action deeds based on temporary emotions then realise afterwards how pathetic they were at the time but then it's too late. Great statesmen can "see" the difference and utilise appropriate rhetoric to put their points across most people don't have that ability, similarly many politicians don't either unfortunately. There is however a case for tempering logic with emotional tack, as logic often is cold and at times ruthless and whilst on paper it may all work well in reality the physicality of actions often flounder because the humanitarian traits are not taken into account.

We need to understand where our thoughts come from that they are accurate and not just something thrown together based upon biased news from the media or a viral video on YouTube. We need to focus aptly upon ourselves to make sure that we are OK not selfishly but accurately and that our lives are important and not the hub of some plan organised by the government or other heartless body. If it doesn't make sense then you have two options it either isn't accurate or you can't grasp what the bigger picture is all about, and it maybe that you don't understand either. The worst thing you can do however is to make an opinion up just for the sake of it because that will stick with you. If you don't know or prefer not to say then so be it, there's no one who can force you only yourself or your lack of self esteem that makes you feel a lesser person and that should never happen. You are totally entitled to be who you are, even if you are wrong, no one is right all the time ever. If you can't make sense of anything either seek "expert" help / opinion, or move on, but don't deliberate on ignorance as that will throw you into a scenario that clouds both your life and your whole integrity.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

VACANT AWARENESS

Have you noticed more and more that many people are seemingly living in a parallel world of their own, they just seem not be "with it" or aware of their immediate surroundings. Sometimes there are genuine reasons for this such as the personal stereo players that automatically reduce ones ability to be fully knowledgeable of their immediate presence, it even stops people walking in straight lines if you notice such. Ones guidance systems are reduced and the listener tends to wander around more randomly than the average person who is not hooked up to piped distractions. The mobile phone is another where people either stop dead or just lose their ability to comprehend others around them and thus become objects in a crowd where their senses and reactions are almost all linked to the calls they are making or receiving. It's even worse when people are taking calls in their car as their ability to function using indicators or even gears if manually geared are substantially reduced as is their situational understanding in relation to other cars, pedestrians and the environment too.

Many people develop the "glance syndrome" whereby they perpetually keep looking at their mobile phone to see if they have received a text or a missed call or some news update. This also substantially reduces ones ability to concentrate and thus impedes both work and personal thought, it can in some situations regarding work reduce the high level of concentration that one needs to adequately fulfil what is required of them.  Years ago people were restricted in using company phones, after all your time is paid for for your work and with the exception of the odd call for dentist / doctor that was it. Today the mobile phone can be intrusive and for some they get withdrawal symptoms so used are they to being welded to their phone for fear of missing out on events that never happen. (Just in case syndrome). It's not even uncommon today for the very young especially to text their friends with messages even if they are sat next to each other. There is nothing wrong with this as such until the phone is withdrawn then they feel stressed that their level of conversational activity is reduced, it isn't but it's a feeling that overcomes them.

There is of course another vacant form (one of many) but a common form of seeing people around you looking dazed and in fact being vacant, withdrawn into themselves, not quite 'out of it' yet verging on the edge of not quite being fully conversant with life and living on the periphery so as not to fully entering into it. It's a world of grossly cultivated self thought, almost like an "old record" that's stuck in a groove and perpetually going around and around. Many people especially the single and over thirty live perpetually in this world as they find life isn't from their perspective what it should be and thus hypothesise and concoct a life within. For others they actually get used to "flipping in" and "flipping out" of this world, some with great ease that one moment they are conversing on a mutual topic next moment they are in their own little world of endless conjecture that constantly swirls around, and at times goes to war with itself. It can be both comforting and unsettling at the same time, but one thing is for sure it's not conducive to a happy life ahead.

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© John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

SECOND GUESSING LIFE

We all like to get on in life, to think we are the masters of what we want to do and where to go etc, yet how many people let themselves down by trying to foresee events and situations and read the thoughts of others only to thwart their own plans for no other reason. We have around us even in our own families grumpy people, opinionated people and we can even have friends who are like that, it all stems out of both narrow mindedness and again that area called selfishness. The area that's "all about me" and if it isn' then I'm not going to be happy and what's more I'm going to tell everyone as well. It even happens in companies too, you can't do this or that or it will upset so and so, well, let it, what divine presence are they bestowed with that others aren't? Nothing what so ever it's all been created by themselves for themselves and the only reason it's gotten this far is that everyone has allowed it to happen. Like political correctness, it doesn't exist in law it's only the pathetic that find it's a place to hide and try and gain some kudos, whereas it makes everyone look small and insular.

Schools should teach people to make their own way in life far better than they do, it's great to learn about writing, reading and maths, plus all the other life skills and knowledgeable areas, but if we are frightened to do anything it's all come to nothing in the end and produces a whole array of negative areas and psychological events that after a while subliminally affect us, sometimes to great detriment. It can affect our own self esteem and our ability to not do as well as we could do, especially at the impressionable ages. The classic scenario of this was the black migration from Chicago to New York and vice versa years ago where many black families prayed upon their own children for doing well, as if it made the children seem better and the families not as good, so the children had to leave to be free. And whilst it worked well, in as much as the children did well it's definitely not an ideal start in life having to leave home or your own town or city just to get on. Being able to fight back, metaphorically can be am amazing and liberating experience, and once and for all put those 'cloth heads' who impose a self status of grandeur (or inferiority with ego) back into the sorry state they deserve to dwell in or perhaps see the light themselves and become anew at their enlightened knowledge.

Too few people have the self ability to challenge and that applies to management in companies too to equalise the status quo and give respect back to everyone, and not allow some to reside with a self devised pomp and stature which is definitely not deserved nor has any credence or credential. It used to be that many Asian families has demarcation lines and endless duties and "things" that couldn't be said or done otherwise someone somewhere would get upset and start to perform an anger ritual of gross selfishness and endless winging, it still exists but less now. Of course if someone imposes whether it's within the family or work or even with strangers an autonomy of grandeur then it's a mixture of abject selfishness and a lack of self esteem, and it's very easy to eradicate it, because once such people are toppled they are but putty in your hand, worthless entities and shown up for what and who they are and have then absolutely nothing to substantiate themselves anymore.

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© John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

FAILED RELATIONSHIPS

The incidence of mental unrest in relationships is at an all time high, it matters not what religion you subscribe to, what doctrine you wish to understand nor where you live, although that has other effects upon your thought patterns. In life there is one common denominator and that is yourself, so if you have failed at many things time and time again including relationships then you are the point of commonality in the whole thing. Don't blame circumstances, situations, conditions, or 'it just didn't work out', etc, you are the common denominator in the whole shebang. There's none of this "well you're lucky" or "I just don't seem to meet the right people" it doesn't exist. What you did, find, enacted upon, joined into, might have been wrong, flawed, incorrect, etc, but you went into it, and seemingly have done so time and time again. How, why, is another matter but taking the leap into doing what you did for it to fail yet again outlines to everyone else that somewhere down the line there isn't that intelligent connection that's seeing possibilities which come to light as if almost in a recurring manner. Not dissimilar to the "battered wife" syndrome.

Of course failure isn't as bad a situation in some areas as we seem to make out, scientists often fail for years trying to do something and it not working out until one day that 'eureka' moment hits them. Many people are alive today because of the constancy of pushing forward over and above failure in researching pharmaceuticals. Similarly with engineering and science life is often trial and error and even in accidents we learn what not to do or how better to modify the service or product for future betterment. Failure can make us stronger and wiser and give us a degree of personal wisdom over and above that which we could learn from just every day life.

Our relationships span a multitude of levels in life from one with ourselves, do we love ourself? To those with significant others, friends, family, work colleagues, to those who we meet in the shopping mall, services and other intermediaries. Some people walk around with an almost permanent smile and face life as it is whether or not they receive any reciprocation from others is immaterial. Others walk around with a glum dull face and if anyone smiles at them they get unnerved and even upset wondering what the catch is, such is their low debased and insular nature. How we view life is how we live it, the better we are at looking good the more help and encouragement we get from others and the more respect we tend to get too. No one likes to help grumpy gruff sloven people, it goes well against the grain both psychologically and morally, it doesn't feel good, and we need a degree of reciprocation in order for us to make additional moves in what we can or will do.

Loneliness for the main part is down to failed relationships with life and the amount of selfishness that's in that thought behind it all. There are those who are forced because of physical and mental conditions to live in an isolated situation, but the vast majority aren't. Selfishness, meanness, laziness, bad attitude are all contributors to loneliness. Failed life relationships are self created, and it matters not whether one is naturally gregarious or reticent, in between all of this is humanity, and if we don't embrace it or we have stilted views or prefer to be biased towards our family or race or creed or whatever then we will sadly and statistically be veering to a life as time goes by to be on our own. People who are on their own tend to have more problems mentally and physically than those with good and constant friends. Whatever you think, whatever excuses you put up, the ball is in your court, no one wants to hear the excuses anymore, if you can't give of yourself you are certainly not going to receive back what humanity has to offer.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012