SEARCHING FOR THE ELUSIVE

Most people have some sort of ideal that they would like to happen or stive for or place to visit or thing to do, even if it's just a whim, it's real in that we register it as something more significant than a passing thought, it resides within our minds and we can draw upon it anytime. Time plays a big part in our wants, when young we are full of them as time marches by we actually accomplish some or what was once prominent is no longer of interest as we've moved on and eventually what we would have wanted fades away into a past thought and more pressing and immediate thoughts overtake us that have more defined residing implications. One thing we don't  want to do is end up being in the "carrot and donkey" situation whereby everything is permanetly ahead of us and we never get to enjoy any of it, ever, in fact we never even get close to it as there is an almost permanent space between what we want and acheiving it. Of course there are reasons why this happens, sometimes our perceptions are out of kilter, sometimes our reality is not properly aligned, sometimes we delude ourselves and sometimes we just don't put enough into getting what we want as it's  etched onto our 'wish list' and never goes any further.

Where we live is the here and now, yesterday no matter what happened is history and whether it was the best day or our lives or we've just dicovered something terrible it was all still yesterday and tomorrow is where we are going to end up. The "now" in our lives is the present, now is very real because it's active and we can move and shake and do things that can alter our whole life ahead of us. We can also sit and so nothing and allow life to take over and drag us along to where it is that we end up, usually somewhere not so savoury. It's imperative that we enjoy life where we are no matter how small that enjoyment may be, for if we judge events in our lives and give them marks out of 10 as to whether they were good or not so good then we will lose the plot and suffer the consequencies. If we decide that life is going to be good to us, i.e. we don't become victims of circumstances we take control of life, then happiness is forever within our grasp even in moments of dire circumstances we will be able to see opportunity, lightness and ways out even if we can't fully engage or commune with that at that single moment in time. Others who just stagnate and dwell in negativity find life predominantly difficult and see few options to exit bad situations and when they do it's full of trepidation.

If we can enjoy the "now" then everything has a place ahead of us, if we can't enjoy the "now" then there isn't much left for us as we will see nothingness in abundance then the "poor old me" attitude will prevale at which point everyone else will leave you well alone. Life is what we make it, no one else can live our lives, they can't think, eat, walk, talk, do for us not matter how much help we get, we still have act it all out. If we outsource our lives to others to take control we are still responsible for all that goes wrong, we can't blame others as we have if effect said "I go with them" so you have agreed to whatever happens good, bad or indifferent, there's just no getting away from the self. However, small moves here and there and an attitude of "I take control of how I feel" works wonders and elevates the self to levels that perhaps many have not enjoyed before or at least a long time. Stop searching, it does mean you can't be inquistitive, but don't negate the present for what may happen tomorrow because by doing that one will be in a constant situation of lowness and then life will literally drag. You have everything within you to be happy, no excuses or muttering that's talk of failure, it's talk of no self respect and if you can't respect yourself no one else will as there aren't any positive parameters for them to go on. Decide on enjoying the "now" it doesn't have to be champagne and flowers and chocolates, but just enjoy what there is or that will be another wasted day in your life, and that wil be the foundation of things to come. 

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
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CORPORATE DISHONESTY

Corporate greed and dishonesty disguised under a number of whet and disingenuous areas is on the up and is almost reaching epidemic proportions. Where once you bought an airline ticket and arrived at the airport, checked in got on the flight and that was it. Today in many areas (depending upon your ticket and airline) you have a series of additional payments that it's akin to buying your ticket at a supermarket with dozens of add ons some almost at the last minute so that you have to purchase them otherwise the flight is invalid. (Unbundleling). It's almost extortion / daylight robbery or out and out blackmail. Similarly with websites that offer FREE DOWNLOAD but what's the big deal, Spam is free download too as are virus's. It's only when you have downloaded the information that endless pop up screens appear and that charges start to appear too or worse still those persistent screens that one can hardly shut down unless you have programmes that will effect such easily. Would you trust a company that has to rely on deceit to sell its products or put spy ware on to your hard drive in the process?

It's not too far from the self same thing with financial products also, where the opt out clauses are often longer than the contract itself, the small or hidden print running into pages with asterisks or itemised sub areas even further reducing compliance. Food manufacturers are notorious for downsizing or reducing content or even eliminating some ingredients. Where "special offers" are just that very special reduced sized product, or that supermarkets sell "economy sized" packs which are more expensive than the two smaller sizes together, which is common. Or the "value pack" is anything but. Where creative development in the kitchens have produced a specially crispy bubbly batter to coat their reduced size fish so that it looks the same, place it in larger boxes with enhanced outer pictures to give the impression that what's inside is bigger than it is, and thus the public are fooled into something that is more rather than less than it originally was. This is happening all the time. It's only the fastidious purchasers - fortunately for the manufacturer - that spots such thing.

Where bills suddenly show an increased cost or additional cost that has miraculously been added that was not warranted or previously included in the package. Then the hassle with Customer Services who seem out of it and are going to try and make you feel like it's all OK and this is now what's happening, and so the story goes on. Government legislation on the above areas is weak, it does catch up from time to time but corporate greed and deceit is as such that it's always one step ahead, like crime. Legislation is needed to protect the vast majority who have a right to know and not have to look at the weight or size of everything they buy each time they make a purchase. Where corporate greed almost puts the onus on the purchaser rather than themselves for substantially altering the contents but not saying a word.

The amount of insurances that have been sold that are basically worthless or contain clauses that are so tight that the slightest little thing negates the entire package rendering it a worthless document. The value businesses put on their clients is so thin it's having to be reiterated via PR companies in order to state their concern for their clients, yet if they were honest to start with none of that would be necessary. Life evolves, and costs go up something that no one is immune from regardless of ones self wealth, however the moral aspect as to increasing income is an art form where corporate greed and underhand deceit is concerned where banks are forever crying about their resources and finding more ways to charge more for giving less in return. Such are the 'special offers' they announce only to rescind them shortly afterwards hoping you won't notice and accept the lower and reduced terms. It's playing on human nature such are the depths to which just about all companies are plummeting and feeding on the detritus of life as a current source of potential. Professionalism it seems is in many industries a dying trade, where value is a temporary calculation and the physical and moral aspects are entities are almost something of a bygone era.

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© John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

SECOND GUESSING LIFE

We all like to get on in life, to think we are the masters of what we want to do and where to go etc, yet how many people let themselves down by trying to foresee events and situations and read the thoughts of others only to thwart their own plans for no other reason. We have around us even in our own families grumpy people, opinionated people and we can even have friends who are like that, it all stems out of both narrow mindedness and again that area called selfishness. The area that's "all about me" and if it isn' then I'm not going to be happy and what's more I'm going to tell everyone as well. It even happens in companies too, you can't do this or that or it will upset so and so, well, let it, what divine presence are they bestowed with that others aren't? Nothing what so ever it's all been created by themselves for themselves and the only reason it's gotten this far is that everyone has allowed it to happen. Like political correctness, it doesn't exist in law it's only the pathetic that find it's a place to hide and try and gain some kudos, whereas it makes everyone look small and insular.

Schools should teach people to make their own way in life far better than they do, it's great to learn about writing, reading and maths, plus all the other life skills and knowledgeable areas, but if we are frightened to do anything it's all come to nothing in the end and produces a whole array of negative areas and psychological events that after a while subliminally affect us, sometimes to great detriment. It can affect our own self esteem and our ability to not do as well as we could do, especially at the impressionable ages. The classic scenario of this was the black migration from Chicago to New York and vice versa years ago where many black families prayed upon their own children for doing well, as if it made the children seem better and the families not as good, so the children had to leave to be free. And whilst it worked well, in as much as the children did well it's definitely not an ideal start in life having to leave home or your own town or city just to get on. Being able to fight back, metaphorically can be am amazing and liberating experience, and once and for all put those 'cloth heads' who impose a self status of grandeur (or inferiority with ego) back into the sorry state they deserve to dwell in or perhaps see the light themselves and become anew at their enlightened knowledge.

Too few people have the self ability to challenge and that applies to management in companies too to equalise the status quo and give respect back to everyone, and not allow some to reside with a self devised pomp and stature which is definitely not deserved nor has any credence or credential. It used to be that many Asian families has demarcation lines and endless duties and "things" that couldn't be said or done otherwise someone somewhere would get upset and start to perform an anger ritual of gross selfishness and endless winging, it still exists but less now. Of course if someone imposes whether it's within the family or work or even with strangers an autonomy of grandeur then it's a mixture of abject selfishness and a lack of self esteem, and it's very easy to eradicate it, because once such people are toppled they are but putty in your hand, worthless entities and shown up for what and who they are and have then absolutely nothing to substantiate themselves anymore.

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© John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

THE MIND GREMLINS 2

Isn’t it funny how fickle we are as human beings, our great strengths, courage, determination, our phlegm, our verve, our steadfastness, our resolve and all the other superlatives that we can think of, yet the moment something goes wrong, down it all comes crashing like a pack of cards. The endurance of the human being is legendary amongst the species of life forms that roam the earth, we’ve conquered, created, built, devised, produced and still behind that robust and elegant facade is ‘us’, the real ‘us’ the bit that thinks and feels and laughs and cries.

Our minds are what we fill them with but our minds are also filled with the thoughts of others most of which has nothing to do with us what so ever. We can even take on the mantle of sayings and feelings that our parents repeated to us when growing up, and some parents were not only negative but literally cruel in their ignorant delivery of what they said, or still say. These subliminal thoughts which lie within us can greatly affect who we are and how we get on in life. If we come from a strong positive family background then we tend to be that type of person, if we come from a weak and pathetic parental background then that’s how we will also tend to be, although we always have the option of breaking free, never make that an excuse, unless you are a parrot.

But regardless of whom we are and where we emanate from we are still whom we are in terms of how we are “hard wired” and the way we think and feel is always peculiar to ourselves. Our little foibles, idiosyncrasies, likes, dislikes, fears, phobias, aspirations, feelings, and all the little bits and pieces that makes us individuals in the grand order of life and humanity. Many people have a very “switchable” attitude in life in that when everything is going well they feel fabulous and that the world is a wonderful place and if you believe in God, that God is good and great, like when winning a race you thank God for that deed. Yet just as quickly when life takes a tumble and a turn for the worst everything becomes unfair, miserable, and unjust and God’s nowhere to be seen or worst case scenario thoughts reign in the “he wants us to go through” these things scenario, which is stupid. We can fool ourselves as long as we like but the bottom line in life is life is as it is and it’s full of contradictions and twists and turns and there are no guarantees or equalities nor fairness clauses other than what man has put into place himself, and that varies enormously all over the world, and is not that fair anyway.

The default side of living in a technological age is that we are recipients of the technology we create for ourselves become ‘hooked’ upon what’s available and the things we can do or utilise for our own enjoyment, so we lose often the ability to create our own stability. We lap up “hype” from emotionally and creatively driven stories and copy designed by the fickle themselves who seek to turn what is in reality mundane and has little purpose into something of hollow value with a glitter facade. Our positive mental health is paramount to living a good, fun packed, emotionally stable, loving and caring life, so the moment that is compromised then everything starts to falter within, it’s that simple. How we deal or come to terms or adjust to the changes in our life is paramount to how quickly we can get back on course and enter ‘life’ once again free from the doldrums and self created emotional gloom and the feelings of lowness which often prevails.

Whatever happens to us in life it is processed within our minds, tablets, booze, weirdo stuff, etc won’t change how we think or feel, although keeping healthy and active tends to revitalise sluggish thoughts and feelings and keeps our bodies in prime condition, all has a positive effect in more ways than just agility.  Our body is holistic in nature it needs all the parts to work to optimum performance so if any don’t and we don’t do anything about it, our own self abuse isn’t going to help us on our way to a better state in life.

When we get pushed into a corner and see little way out or circumstances of a negative nature loom large we often retort to self withdrawal, wanting “space” and “time to think” which is fine for a short spell, but once it overflows into days and possibly weeks and even longer then withdrawal symptoms start to manifest themselves as the mind isn’t getting the stimuli and mental nourishment it needs to work efficiently. Cocooning oneself isn’t an answer nor is it a solution it’s more like opting out with excuses than anything else. Our level of happiness and composure in life comes from within, being dramatic and telling all about your problems makes it worse as it gives it gravitas and fuels feelings of sympathy which in themselves have no value or strength.

The mind gremlins come out to play the moment we are feeling low, they just love the negative vibe they get from our own self created morose feelings and gross indecisive thoughts. The more we feel sorry for ourselves, the more we feel pitiful the more they love it, they jive to unrest, they boogie to indecision, they funk to panic, they waltz to hysteria, and they rave to restlessness,  and if self sorrow comes into play and feelings of “why me” (why not?), then they have an almighty ball. Those negative thoughts and words that flit and fly around your mind, the inner mental pep talks about how it will get worse and there’s no way out, and regurgitating all of the past and spreading it out, reliving it again and again, wallowing in your little faults, making mountains out of molehills, what a time they have feeding on what you are giving them yourself, a veritable banquet of dark mental detritus.

Our capacity to overcome and regain our composure is great and it’s within all of us to forge ahead to better things no matter what has beset or befallen us, we are the masters of who we are and our own destiny as well as keepers of our own happiness. The moment we admonish any of these on to conditions outside of our control then we have literally lost the plot as well as the ability too. Whilst others may be able to assist us, where outside circumstances may aid us, our life is still within us and it’s there until we die, how we utilise it for the better is solely down to our own creativity within. Honesty rather than fantasy or just plain “wishing and hoping” is a grounding experience because what we literally have we can use, what we wish for is forever illusive. There is no kudos in negativity encompassing emotions and feelings of self pity, it only tends after a while to whittle our self resolve down to a moment when we lose the desire and ability at which point untold mental conditions start to manifest themselves within the body.       

Of course the mind gremlins have friends, anger, frustration, lack of humour, a short temper, irritability, irascibility, grumpy, touchy, greed, envy, fear, selfishness, etc and whole host of other like minded acquaintances that you probably know only too well. Unfortunately whilst you’re concentrating on these life starts to pass you  by then you wonder why things are getting worse, even though you are the instigator of it all, it’s short sighted and selfish but it’s all been chosen by yourself so no one really wants to hear about it. There’s nothing like turning the chemical imbalance within your body to something other than it should be then wonder why you don’t feel well or you manifest lots of minor ailments that never develop but never the less reside at the initial stages such as sniffing and flu symptoms, rashes, mild hyperventilation, indigestion, itching, mood swings, irregular sleeping disorders, sweaty palms, headaches with sore spots, and lots of other self generated goodies. Yes this is all your doing, your mind is so fantastically great you’ve chosen to unleash it’s power of self destruction and given up your ability to enjoy life.

We must at all times be in charge of who we are and that literally means when we don’t feel like it too, we still must be in charge and not let loose the mind gremlins that say nasty things to us and try and bring us down with feelings of insecurity and failure and loss and lack and all the other stuff that they feed upon. They are the failures not ourselves, they are the ones that need help not us, they are the ones who we have given permission to roam freely within our minds, and we know how to stop it too.  If you believe in God you have a way out, if you don’t just be positive and fight the infiltrators with stuff they don’t like, love, happiness, positivity, greatness, laughter, not giving in, success ahead, those are our friends we have who are our soldiers and fight for us, the ones who bring us success and a life that we need to enjoy. We all have "Mind Gremlins"  and when at times they come out to play, just rest in the knowledge that you have already won the race, despite outside circumstances, feel secure that life will be good and great and just because you possibly can't see it, it's there, just like electricity and air. Now concentrate on sleeping in the knowledge that positive change is always there.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

An excerpt from “THE MIND GREMLINS?”, part of a series on Emotions…   (CD available)

TRANSFORMATION OF THE SELF

There are so many books written today about Self Help, written by those on therapy (all about life and failure), Transcendental Meditation, (lazy and lost people), Guru’s rambling on about life and yet haven’t done a day’s work in their lives, about Spiritual Consciousness, (massive hangover), Finding God (he was never lost), Getting in Touch With Your Inner Self, (what have you been doing up until now), acknowledging your “feminine side” or “masculine side” (latent drag queens), and so it goes on. Psychologists and psychiatrists have over the years had a field day of looking up their own rectums and seeing if at the end of it life still exists, and in the process gotten used to the dank environment of negativity that they predominantly dwell in and within themselves have an overwhelming problem concerning the word “why” and resolution to it. There’s a market for it all however, and there are those who for some reason seem to feel that life could be better than what it is if they could just find what it is that they are missing. Such people are either already screwed up or have lost the plot or they are predominantly single and lonely and just can’t seem to make a connection with life or those around them or indeed make any tangible relationship with anything or anyone. Their all too frequent stares and glazed expressions and peculiar responses to what others would just take for granted sets them way out above the - dare I say it - yes I dare, the ‘norm’, whatever the ‘norm’ is, and already there will be those getting hot and flustered as to what the ‘norm’ really is, well, it’s probably doesn’t include them to start with. But for those who have a life, i.e. they are not glued to the media news, they don’t follow the fickle aspects of celebrities and how stupid they can really get, one doesn’t take everything as ‘gospel’ that anyone says about whatever it is they have to speak about, and one doesn’t believe the rhetoric of politicians in their eternal task of trying to convince ‘everyone’ that they are right.

The transformation of the self is almost a ‘coming of age’ in that it’s that sudden understanding and inner peace to do with a feeling of ‘knowing’ even if you really can’t translate it and put it into words. It’s an overall or homogeneous feeling that you can ’see’ for what its all worth the good, the bad and the indifferent and it no longer bothers you even if you intrinsically know deep down that some aspects are totally wrong. Being able to ’see’ life and what bothers so many and why some do what they do, allows you to stand back and feel the real breeze of life, that almost silent freshness that’s all around us that we are apt to ignore preferring to cloud our mind with minutiae of worthless detail and illusions of self importance over and above what is really important. People are making inordinate amounts of money running courses about the “inner self” and “happiness” and all the rest, and of course there are those who are so pathetic they believe it’s all “out there” for them to access when if the idiots only realised it’s already within them, but they are entitled to be stupid and at least going to the courses gets them out of the house even if it does mean mixing with other “oddballs” when they get there. Oddballs always attract oddballs and they tend to do the rounds as if it’s a ritual or “rite of passage” for them to do and very often takes the place of what a real relationship would be. Of course they’ll rarely ever get a relationship of any worth as they just can’t “let go” and give, hence there is this “single” phenomenon of people doing the circuit with other single people, nothing wrong with it, it’s just the way it is, but they often self isolate themselves and rarely know they are doing it, backing it all up with excuses, but everyone else notices why.

If one feels that they are out of sync with life or life is out of sync with them then it’s purely and simply down to your attitude, life won’t change and it’s viewed by billions every day all from their own perspectives and from vastly different circumstances. If the “resonance” or “vibe” isn’t good then it’s you that is not in harmony with life definitely not the other way around. You have to make the effort and not the excuses which is an all too easy cop out. It matters not what effort you make but effort is paramount in breaking through the invisible barrier that makes you feel like you do, mistakes are par for the course and only help to provide roughage with the grist in eventually dismantling that segmented wall that stops one feeling that life is good in all its glory despite the conditions. You can have your own theories on life, you can believe what others ramble on about but at the lest resort it’s you who has to come to terms with who you are and life and no one else nor anyone else’s theories or take on life. A positive mind can change the values, feelings, thoughts, circumstantial effects on the self in an instant, our mind has that ability without any pain or consternation. All the barriers we ’see’ for ourselves are self created even if there are hurdles in front of us, the magnitude and our ability to climb over them or transcend them rests with us, no one else, no matter what we have to do. In short life is all about us and how we engage with it and not about the problems or environment or anything else that we can’t always change. We can always change ourselves, which is often the biggest stumbling point for many as they have this illusion that there are those “out there” that have answers, they may have some, but it’s still YOU that has to effect the change.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010