DANCING WITH GHOSTS

Does your past ever come back to haunt you? You ever have bouts of regret, remorse, guilt, apprehension of the past, etc? Does life at times seem like a course in aspects of deja vu or that you have feelings that it's recurring again like it's all the same but different? Do people remind you of the past or regurgitate stories of a not so nice nature that makes you feel somewhat low in spirits? Well fret not because it happens to many people every day at some juncture in their lives. Of course we can deliberately and almost consciously make decisions that repeat the past such as the "battered wife syndrome" and other areas where reality, stability and habit all roll themselves into one to try and fulfil an inner desire. It works but the result is always failure. One thing that people don't seem to bring to their guise of where they reside is the here and now and that the past is just that. No manner of conversation or saying sorry or crying or "making good" or appeasement or atonement or resolution or whatever is dreamt up today can alter, change or undo the past. What has happened has happened.

Guilt and memories of the past are manifested within the mind, nowhere else can they live, no one else can harbour your thoughts or feelings and no one else can ever change the thought process except yourself. Guilt is none productive and serves nothing more than a selfish whim of your own or worse still of others who wish to keep the past thoughts alive for their evilness of mind, it can't be said otherwise. Past loves, bereavement, financial greatness now no more, whatever it was has left its trail on life and is now confined to the echelons of history. We live in the present and our destiny lies in tomorrow which has nothing to do with the past even if decisions made yesterday affect what we do tomorrow, we can never live yesterdays decisions good or bad again. Trying to bring "closure" to the past is silly, because closure has already been effected, it's gone, so the only thing that people seek is something of a personal nature to try and bring form to it because they often can't bring together an understanding that "that's it" but it is, it's that simple. All this "we can rest now", "we can put it behind us", "we can do whatever" is unfortunately a selfish mind set often thrown up by the press or legally driven to try and add kudos but again the reality is you can't add kudos to the ghosts of time.

The problem with many people is that they are trying to find something tangible in life to give themselves meaning, importance, substance and an ability to proceed forwards with impunity and solidity, many fail. Grasping at intangible morsels of life as if that will help but sadly when they have tasted what they desire they find it is still not filling those voids within. When their desire to be emotionally quenched does not hit the mark they then set out on any other quest to see if that will effect a solution, sadly that doesn't help either. To feel really wholesome one must understand what life is all about and the past isn't something you can dance with in the present, memories are just that no matter how dear they are. If you for once delve into areas outside of substance then your whole ability will flounder and not only will life fragment it will be a job in itself to try and feel and see happiness other than for fleeting moments. Life is here, now, that is where you have to live, anywhere else and you are fooling yourself.

Ghosts don't have substance as we know it, they are the remnants of life past. If we choose to associate with anything that isn't here or to come then we are in for a rude awakening. Good mental health is our strongest essential asset if that goes we go with it. Love is the present foundation of humanity it's where everyone lives and moves and it's where we can interact. Our happiness is present time, our love is present time our life is present time and our future is partly present time. Making things up in our mind isn't smart, we need to see potential and not contrive responsibility of atonement because if it is atoned we are still left bereft of substance. For the deceased it's all too late and it means absolutely nothing. Doing things on behalf of the deceased and still say "I did it on their behalf" is a lie and not true and it smacks of selfishness all the way through. If you can't see life for what it is never expect to be happy.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012
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WHEN OUR ASPIRATIONS DON'T COME TRUE

We start off in life with few dreams other than what's on our mind in the immediate future, we know in reality very little so our minds aren't cluttered up with endless possibilities, options or the material values of life. We know what love is but we rarely know what it is called, we don't know what respect is to a large extent and similarly don't understand what disrespect is, but we know what we want or think we what and definitely don't want. In short we are immature, everything we think is a very limited knowledge of life and what our parents have taught us or we have picked up on, so that can explain a lot as to how we think and act. As we get older our minds develop and our aptitudes also likewise form a complex understanding of our abilities, thoughts, intelligence, common sense and ideas as to how we personally would like life to unfold. We often have at least a two pronged version of life ahead, an ideal version and a version that incorporates reality to a very basic degree, however for some the dividing line is very narrow.

Life is a learning curve and sometimes that curve is vertical such is the lesson or lessons that we are confronting and trying our best to sort out. In fact at times so much is happening all at once that we often take a back seat and wonder what it's all about and that will things ever be the same or even just get better. But they do, we struggle or muddle onwards, we come through it all. Some seemingly come through the dark areas quicker than others, but there is usually a reason for this and there is usually something within the self that helps us along or hinders our pathway, attitude being one of the biggest pluses or minuses in our mental conditioning. Dwelling on the problem stop us seeing the solution, telling all and sundry about the state of our life can in effect give it gravitas in as much as it makes it into an even bigger episode and thus we now have to deal with a 'monster' we have created in our mind and try to give updates to those unfortunate ones that are silly enough to listen.

Disappointment shouldn't be an entity in our lives, it shouldn't be a weight that bears down upon us and stifles our creativity or zest to go forward. It shouldn't end up as a regret, nor should it be viewed as any kind of failure, in fact the reality is that all the really great people who have made a difference have failed endless times in their quest to reach whatever it is they were trying to attain. Very few indeed had help either, they were scorned by not only onlookers who were either sceptical or jealous but their own negative families who were in themselves dull, boring and uneventful in their own outlook. Many a person has set out in life to do one thing only to end up doing something completely different and a million miles away from their original thoughts.

As we travel life's high road we are exposed to many people, events and situations that offer opportunities that are way beyond our thoughts and feelings, these often stimulate areas within that laid dormant for many years and possible never ever been evaluated so we have never acted upon same. It doesn't matter what time of life we start something, it's immaterial we need to follow our pathway and not the bystanders pathways who are always full of negativity. We must never ever ask advice from anyone who has an aspiration less than our own, no matter who they are, their answers will be full of their own fears and insecurities. There is but one way in life and that is forward, regrets amount to nothing, wrong pathways account for experience and inner personal desire is ours and ours alone. We must always surround ourselves with positive people as they will want you to succeed even if they are not quite sure what it is you are doing, their sole energy however is love based, and that is enough for success. We must keep an open mind at all times even if we have a defined goal because if we are too rigid then opportunities that become available will float by to those who are more receptive and that enhance areas that we have never even thought about. It's good to be strong and persevere but at the same time expedient to be open to what we don't know which amounts to far more than we do know and there lies the success quotient.

When our original aspirations come to nought or don't materialise in the way we would have liked then it's time to review everything about us and around us. It's not to say downscaling or moving on or changing tack. Life is to be enjoyed come what may and the journey has to be enjoyed too, for if we put off enjoyment until our goal has been reached then it's all far too late and the moments en-route have been lost and if they are lost life is lost or at worst wasted. Not everything will become what we want it to be and we can't compare either, that doesn't hold water, neither does the thought of "it's not fair", etc. We are the masters of our ourselves whatever transpires, and thus we need to be at one with life as it has to be lived, enjoyed, laughed at at, kicked into shape. put into place and when we end up at the finish line all exhausted we can say "what a journey" with peace of mind and a restful heart. Many become successful (and that's subjective)  only to have had no life en-route and they tend to forget the bad times enjoying only what's left. Make sure that whatever happens you enjoy every moment you can as it can't ever be repeated.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

LIFE IN A DIFFERENT SHADE

Life is a variable commodity one moment it's fabulous another we are faced with anxiety, stress, upheavals and an unknown future, where once we had an idea as to where we were going or aiming for then next minute we are really not quite sure as to the feasibility of it or indeed anything else. Within the happy moments and the mayhem which live close by to each other we have a style and a standard of living that we enjoy relatively well even if it's not ideal. We have our favourites and our likes and then we have a routine and all of that produces a degree of stability and indeed harmony too. But overall taking into account the rough with the smooth is there something that would enhance our lives appreciably without stepping into realms of fantasy or drawing up a wish list which then produces a stress factor because they are desires which we rarely fulfil yet never the less exist once we mentally commit them. An example of such is a chap came into some money and bought a Ferrari which he loved, yet he constantly got speeding tickets so the element of his desire became a burden rather than a blessing as he just couldn't keep to speed limits and in a high performance car it's just so easy to speed up without realising it. What we sometimes desire can in effect unleash elements within us that changes our concept and exposes our weaknesses that we didn't before realise were there or had never had put to the test before. It's a case of "all things being equal" and of course that doesn't exist, which is not to say that certain things can definitely enhance or increase our pleasures in life over and above what we originally thought of.

Sometimes we just go on in life and as long as it doesn't jar on us we accept where we are and allow it to continue, a bit like the "if it's not broken don't fix it" adage. Yet life isn't that constant and it doesn't have to be broken to want to make it better from where we are and in reality do just little bits to enhance our state of play, which has the effect of literally elevating how we think and feel. We are products of our environment so it's only natural that we should keep it well honed and in pristine condition for it to allow us to respond to our own values in life and enjoy what's best within our abilities. We all reside at different levels some quite basic some palatial it matters not, enhancement or change at any level does the same trick, it raises our inner self and that is always a positive step. Whether we are single or have a house full of pattering tiny feet that's not of any significance or consequence it again is making small changes whether colourful or subdude or changing this n' that and deliberately doing so as opposed to waiting for something to break or become shabby then having to replace it. Our physical deed of being pro-active is what propels us forward and stops the rot or decay of time overtaking us and then feeling that there is always something to be done because life is dragging you forward as opposed to you steering your ship. This has a very big psychological effect on us, which route or stance we take.

Most people expect life to get better, they have hopes for a better future and happiness, and rightly so, our hearts are in the right place and our intentions are linked similarly to that forward point where we can enjoy life whatever it is for us at that future time. However if we don't do something now, or don't affect some degree of ongoing change what we end up with is our mind going one way full of hope and ideas and a life going another with little or nothing happening, a real dichotomy of thought and deed. Keeping on top and keeping pace is essential even in frugal times where we tend to procrastinate more about investing in our lives. What we don't want to do is end up at that future date just "having put up" with aspects of life all along  that we could have changed and enjoyed just from being ultra cautious or waiting until a default situation arises then the creativity of life is greatly reduced. Our lives vary enormously and what some accept as good others see otherwise, there's no race nor competition what there is however is "us" and are we worth it, and that demands a degree of respect and not personal complacency for it that starts to leach into your life it will manifest itself subliminally in your outward character, which is an obvious retrograde step. Life is not an endurance as to how long can we make things last, or put up with conditions until we are forced to change, enjoyment is at the top of our list whatever that is to us, make sure you are pro-active in the enjoyment stakes, even little changes can reap enormous rewards.
 
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

SEARCHING FOR THE ELUSIVE

Most people have some sort of ideal that they would like to happen or stive for or place to visit or thing to do, even if it's just a whim, it's real in that we register it as something more significant than a passing thought, it resides within our minds and we can draw upon it anytime. Time plays a big part in our wants, when young we are full of them as time marches by we actually accomplish some or what was once prominent is no longer of interest as we've moved on and eventually what we would have wanted fades away into a past thought and more pressing and immediate thoughts overtake us that have more defined residing implications. One thing we don't  want to do is end up being in the "carrot and donkey" situation whereby everything is permanetly ahead of us and we never get to enjoy any of it, ever, in fact we never even get close to it as there is an almost permanent space between what we want and acheiving it. Of course there are reasons why this happens, sometimes our perceptions are out of kilter, sometimes our reality is not properly aligned, sometimes we delude ourselves and sometimes we just don't put enough into getting what we want as it's  etched onto our 'wish list' and never goes any further.

Where we live is the here and now, yesterday no matter what happened is history and whether it was the best day or our lives or we've just dicovered something terrible it was all still yesterday and tomorrow is where we are going to end up. The "now" in our lives is the present, now is very real because it's active and we can move and shake and do things that can alter our whole life ahead of us. We can also sit and so nothing and allow life to take over and drag us along to where it is that we end up, usually somewhere not so savoury. It's imperative that we enjoy life where we are no matter how small that enjoyment may be, for if we judge events in our lives and give them marks out of 10 as to whether they were good or not so good then we will lose the plot and suffer the consequencies. If we decide that life is going to be good to us, i.e. we don't become victims of circumstances we take control of life, then happiness is forever within our grasp even in moments of dire circumstances we will be able to see opportunity, lightness and ways out even if we can't fully engage or commune with that at that single moment in time. Others who just stagnate and dwell in negativity find life predominantly difficult and see few options to exit bad situations and when they do it's full of trepidation.

If we can enjoy the "now" then everything has a place ahead of us, if we can't enjoy the "now" then there isn't much left for us as we will see nothingness in abundance then the "poor old me" attitude will prevale at which point everyone else will leave you well alone. Life is what we make it, no one else can live our lives, they can't think, eat, walk, talk, do for us not matter how much help we get, we still have act it all out. If we outsource our lives to others to take control we are still responsible for all that goes wrong, we can't blame others as we have if effect said "I go with them" so you have agreed to whatever happens good, bad or indifferent, there's just no getting away from the self. However, small moves here and there and an attitude of "I take control of how I feel" works wonders and elevates the self to levels that perhaps many have not enjoyed before or at least a long time. Stop searching, it does mean you can't be inquistitive, but don't negate the present for what may happen tomorrow because by doing that one will be in a constant situation of lowness and then life will literally drag. You have everything within you to be happy, no excuses or muttering that's talk of failure, it's talk of no self respect and if you can't respect yourself no one else will as there aren't any positive parameters for them to go on. Decide on enjoying the "now" it doesn't have to be champagne and flowers and chocolates, but just enjoy what there is or that will be another wasted day in your life, and that wil be the foundation of things to come. 

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

WHAT IS YOUR REALITY?

Everyone has a view on life, how we view life depends upon a number of things and a number of internal parameters, some seemingly have already been pre-set whilst others we have acquired or foster acordingly as they resonate with our overall thought mode. Even asking the same question to a number of people on the same topic can produced a myriad of differing responses such is the variety of options that are available to us and thus it's this difference that produces our own reality. The horizon for instance for some is engaging, fascinatingly haunting and produces an inner excitement for further possibilities and potential, whereas for others it's a distance too far, frightening, fearful, unknown, yet these two views can sit side by side and view the same horizon and come up with two totally different perspectives. It's this dichotomy of perspectives that produces all what we think and how we react to life and why some generate their happiness within, for that's where it resides for everyone, and those that perpetually seek happiness because they are negatively dispositioned. However it's our emotions that display how we take life on board such as ego, arrogance, jealousy, greed, envy, it's always the negative emotions for the positive emotions spring from love where nothing can go wrong, negative emotions suspend reason hence there is so much upset and anger between what we think and others possibly think. Politically correct people are also negatively charged via their own make of selfishness hiding under the auspices of 'doing good' for others or society, but in reality they have appointed themselves into a position where they are not wanted and become gatekeepers holding back truth and hiding their own failings and pathetic inabilities.

We subliminally have an idea of what we would like in life or like life to be like, but that is just that an idea, we live solely in the present and that is where we must enjoy life because if we don't we then end up with historical gaps of the past of not being happy and having wasted our time seeking a future that has come and gone and not materialised into anything we have wanted. Even if our ideals come to pass in a respectable time frame they are never the same as we would have envisaged even if they happen to be better. Of course paving the way for a better tomorrow is good and expedient for most people so the journey should be enjoyed not endured for if it isn't resentment starts to creep in and that then clouds our whole thought process which ultimately leads to a negative perspective of life. The media and following rubbish on the TV and in the press have a lot to do with many subliminally absorbing it like a sponge and not processing it accordingly (squeezing it out) but that's more to do with intelligence and personal thought than the media itself who will stop at nothing to peddle their wares, we do have an option however to discern an option that for many is sadly impotent.

No one knows what lies in store for our future but being positive in mind always lightens the load with regards upsets and attracts positive solutions as to getting the best out of what there is and the vast array of options that are 'out there'. We think we have a 'good idea' but in reality that's only what we know of or more accurately 'think of' and not what is out there as we haven't a clue what really exists. This is where narrow mindedness and arrogance and stupidity take a part in our own created downfall, pretending that we know whereas if we had an open mind a whole manner of opportunities would avail themselves to us. One reason why entrepreneurs do well and the so called "open minded" who are anything but fall by the wayside and then wonder why and feel disgruntled in the process too. Our real reality is what it is, who we are where we are and what we have, it doesn't matter what that consists of as there are no rules levels or parameters, they differ enormously from every person on the planet even if some are almost parallel. But perception is something to be understood by everyone and allowing others to have their perceived ideas and allowing our own to change as we become enlightened is a way forward that can enhance our whole being and give us a peace, understanding, love walk, happiness, stability, improved mental health and physical health that we might otherwise have jeopardised because of stilted thoughts.

There isn't an equation in life as to what you need or see as compared to anything else that means it's all OK. Nor are perceptions of what some have or others don't have mean anything except via  materialistic thoughts and self concocted or conjured up ideals which have no bearing upon the life you are living at the moment, even if you are sadly lacking in resources this makes no difference at all. The moment you place ethereal aspects of life upon material aspects of life you have lost the plot, and yes it's nice to have nice things but that's it nothing more. Perceptions are often based upon security and when one becomes more secure attitudes change whatever is security for yourself, financial, job, health, relationship, etc. However once we attain a modicum of what we think is essential to our life we then seek something else, it's bit like the carrot and the donkey scenario, it's always one step ahead of us. But reality is exactly what it is, the comments about "the real world" are rubbish, if you are living and breathing then you are in the real world, regardless of your standing. It's up to you to make the best of it and not place idealistic thoughts and negativities ahead of you or you will never ever be happy or fulfilled or stable.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

DEALING WITH THE LIFE YOU'VE GOT

Many people live two lives, the one that they are living currently and an imaginary one that they hypothesise about, the one that's full of "when" and "if" and "at some point" all of which never happens in the way one allows their internal conjecture to materialise. It's full of areas which permits one to be taken out of the 'now' and just temporarily be drawn into a semi-fantasy that consists of an almost "now-plus" scenario with the nice bits added to the present to make it far more enjoyable and perhaps meld with ones ego or degree of arrogance, security in life or even vanity. Whatever it is it is very real to many people especially those striving to make something of their lives, for those that aren't in that situation such thoughts are more possibly residing in the "daydream" scenario. The worse thing that anyone can ever do is to "wish for the future" that something will materialise and then they will catch up and all will be well, well it won't. The only thing that's certain for the future is that it will be there awaiting you, how and what is a totally different matter. The thought process pertaining to this situation is called "Postponing Happiness", in that we strive today for tomorrow.

Dealing with today encompasses every facet of today not just pre-selected areas and thoughts, we live as a totality and as such that brings along with it everything that makes today - today, including happiness, thought, sincerity, fun, warmth, humility, potential and all the rest. Planning ahead doesn't in any shape or form "mothball" the present as if this were the runway for our aircraft to take off for the future. Visionaries are very grounded people they can see from the very place they are possibilities that are literally possibilities or what could be available in the future and the pathway from here to there is part of their ultimate gift, they are not 'cloud heads'. Even if to some their verbiage is a bit "off the planet" that's OK, we don't understand everyone and that's our failing not that of others. If we struggle with the life we have now then we are not magically going to be able to cope with what we wish to happen, if we can't cook, clean, be pleasant now then it's not going to suddenly bestow these abilities tomorrow, even if we employ a cook and a cleaner, we are still redundant souls in those areas. Self "kiddology" is a big let down in life, we don't have to be good at all things and in fact many successful people aren't good at a lot of things other than what they do, but understanding this raises their bar and rounds them up as a competent person hence they make the grade. That's not to say either that many successful people don't have "growing pain" at being able to afford a better lifestyle but don't feel totally comfortable in it.

At times circumstances and situations thrust a degree of weight upon us that we find is almost overbearing and burdensome. Yet that is life and we are all capable of tolerating this weight and dealing with it, as that brings the spring back into our step and makes us far more proficient and ebullient. Dwelling on anything always makes it worse as our minds then turn it into a scenario as it has nothing else to do, no fresh input or additional information so it churns it over and over and by default often allows it to stagnate then it really does become an almost "etched in" problem.  As dull and as boring and as tiresome as the odd daily negative scenario brings to us our positive attitude, if we take away the sighs and moans it makes our task far easier and mentally uplifting in that we then see what we are doing is an accomplishment as opposed to a chore that's got high sides that we have to get over. Life trundles on with or without us, it's what we make of it that makes it enjoyable, and if you have to revert to negative statements as a credential of right now you have almost by default written failure into your future plans.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others).