SEARCHING FOR THE ELUSIVE

Most people have some sort of ideal that they would like to happen or stive for or place to visit or thing to do, even if it's just a whim, it's real in that we register it as something more significant than a passing thought, it resides within our minds and we can draw upon it anytime. Time plays a big part in our wants, when young we are full of them as time marches by we actually accomplish some or what was once prominent is no longer of interest as we've moved on and eventually what we would have wanted fades away into a past thought and more pressing and immediate thoughts overtake us that have more defined residing implications. One thing we don't  want to do is end up being in the "carrot and donkey" situation whereby everything is permanetly ahead of us and we never get to enjoy any of it, ever, in fact we never even get close to it as there is an almost permanent space between what we want and acheiving it. Of course there are reasons why this happens, sometimes our perceptions are out of kilter, sometimes our reality is not properly aligned, sometimes we delude ourselves and sometimes we just don't put enough into getting what we want as it's  etched onto our 'wish list' and never goes any further.

Where we live is the here and now, yesterday no matter what happened is history and whether it was the best day or our lives or we've just dicovered something terrible it was all still yesterday and tomorrow is where we are going to end up. The "now" in our lives is the present, now is very real because it's active and we can move and shake and do things that can alter our whole life ahead of us. We can also sit and so nothing and allow life to take over and drag us along to where it is that we end up, usually somewhere not so savoury. It's imperative that we enjoy life where we are no matter how small that enjoyment may be, for if we judge events in our lives and give them marks out of 10 as to whether they were good or not so good then we will lose the plot and suffer the consequencies. If we decide that life is going to be good to us, i.e. we don't become victims of circumstances we take control of life, then happiness is forever within our grasp even in moments of dire circumstances we will be able to see opportunity, lightness and ways out even if we can't fully engage or commune with that at that single moment in time. Others who just stagnate and dwell in negativity find life predominantly difficult and see few options to exit bad situations and when they do it's full of trepidation.

If we can enjoy the "now" then everything has a place ahead of us, if we can't enjoy the "now" then there isn't much left for us as we will see nothingness in abundance then the "poor old me" attitude will prevale at which point everyone else will leave you well alone. Life is what we make it, no one else can live our lives, they can't think, eat, walk, talk, do for us not matter how much help we get, we still have act it all out. If we outsource our lives to others to take control we are still responsible for all that goes wrong, we can't blame others as we have if effect said "I go with them" so you have agreed to whatever happens good, bad or indifferent, there's just no getting away from the self. However, small moves here and there and an attitude of "I take control of how I feel" works wonders and elevates the self to levels that perhaps many have not enjoyed before or at least a long time. Stop searching, it does mean you can't be inquistitive, but don't negate the present for what may happen tomorrow because by doing that one will be in a constant situation of lowness and then life will literally drag. You have everything within you to be happy, no excuses or muttering that's talk of failure, it's talk of no self respect and if you can't respect yourself no one else will as there aren't any positive parameters for them to go on. Decide on enjoying the "now" it doesn't have to be champagne and flowers and chocolates, but just enjoy what there is or that will be another wasted day in your life, and that wil be the foundation of things to come. 

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

DEALING WITH THE LIFE YOU'VE GOT

Many people live two lives, the one that they are living currently and an imaginary one that they hypothesise about, the one that's full of "when" and "if" and "at some point" all of which never happens in the way one allows their internal conjecture to materialise. It's full of areas which permits one to be taken out of the 'now' and just temporarily be drawn into a semi-fantasy that consists of an almost "now-plus" scenario with the nice bits added to the present to make it far more enjoyable and perhaps meld with ones ego or degree of arrogance, security in life or even vanity. Whatever it is it is very real to many people especially those striving to make something of their lives, for those that aren't in that situation such thoughts are more possibly residing in the "daydream" scenario. The worse thing that anyone can ever do is to "wish for the future" that something will materialise and then they will catch up and all will be well, well it won't. The only thing that's certain for the future is that it will be there awaiting you, how and what is a totally different matter. The thought process pertaining to this situation is called "Postponing Happiness", in that we strive today for tomorrow.

Dealing with today encompasses every facet of today not just pre-selected areas and thoughts, we live as a totality and as such that brings along with it everything that makes today - today, including happiness, thought, sincerity, fun, warmth, humility, potential and all the rest. Planning ahead doesn't in any shape or form "mothball" the present as if this were the runway for our aircraft to take off for the future. Visionaries are very grounded people they can see from the very place they are possibilities that are literally possibilities or what could be available in the future and the pathway from here to there is part of their ultimate gift, they are not 'cloud heads'. Even if to some their verbiage is a bit "off the planet" that's OK, we don't understand everyone and that's our failing not that of others. If we struggle with the life we have now then we are not magically going to be able to cope with what we wish to happen, if we can't cook, clean, be pleasant now then it's not going to suddenly bestow these abilities tomorrow, even if we employ a cook and a cleaner, we are still redundant souls in those areas. Self "kiddology" is a big let down in life, we don't have to be good at all things and in fact many successful people aren't good at a lot of things other than what they do, but understanding this raises their bar and rounds them up as a competent person hence they make the grade. That's not to say either that many successful people don't have "growing pain" at being able to afford a better lifestyle but don't feel totally comfortable in it.

At times circumstances and situations thrust a degree of weight upon us that we find is almost overbearing and burdensome. Yet that is life and we are all capable of tolerating this weight and dealing with it, as that brings the spring back into our step and makes us far more proficient and ebullient. Dwelling on anything always makes it worse as our minds then turn it into a scenario as it has nothing else to do, no fresh input or additional information so it churns it over and over and by default often allows it to stagnate then it really does become an almost "etched in" problem.  As dull and as boring and as tiresome as the odd daily negative scenario brings to us our positive attitude, if we take away the sighs and moans it makes our task far easier and mentally uplifting in that we then see what we are doing is an accomplishment as opposed to a chore that's got high sides that we have to get over. Life trundles on with or without us, it's what we make of it that makes it enjoyable, and if you have to revert to negative statements as a credential of right now you have almost by default written failure into your future plans.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others).