FEELING EMOTIONALLY BEREFT

Life is what it is and there's no getting away from the fact that at times it all goes swimmingly well then all of a sudden Whoosh that proverbial spanner gets dropped in the works and all seemingly comes to a grinding halt. Our fun and excitement are suddenly reduced to a low ebb and our vision and fun for what's ahead gets put on hold. No matter how many sighs we make and no matter how many tut tuts or other noises we make it doesn't make the slightest difference as it alters nothing whatsoever. We are amazing people, we do so much that we take for granted that we assume we can do so many things and we have gone through so much that when something daunting hits us we at times wonder why and how are we going to manage. Yet deep down we know are going to get through it even if the task ahead plays on our mind. However, something a little more closer to home tends to hit us and that is that feeling in the pit of our stomach or that nagging feeling that we have in our mind that just won't go away. It's not that we are ill or indeed suffering from anything whatsoever, it's a whole culmination of events that are straggling or dragging on in our lives that we seem not to shrug off but deem that we will get around to but don't. Like the small stone in our shoes it's the size of nothing yet hurts so much.

At the end of a busy day many people feel the need to either "chill out" or meet up with friends, the same result is expected, to overcome the day's hustle and bustle and 'normalise' life so that we can rest and start off a fresh the next day, seeing life new and vibrant and wonderful. It works, but only so much as we let it, for over riding what's lurking beneath is like putting a plaster over an open wound without cleaning it, it just festers and festers until it gets worse. Our mental health is so vitally important because if we let that diminish then everything we do will be lacklustre and if that becomes the norm then we effectively live below par. Once we live below par life takes on a different perspective and mantle, we look at all around us with different eyes, it all means something different and we start to calculate life as opposed to living it. Whereas once we would do things and enjoy company now we have to "think" about it and see if we really want to or just be on our own, this is the "half way" house to loneliness and a selfishness brought on by ourselves. Ironically it's quite often that those who do least feel the most tired and start to cosset themselves and feel precious because they have entered that "downward spiral" that's controlled from within. 

Lethargy, tiredness, lowness of life, vacant thoughts, lack of spontaneity, lack of sparkle, lack of communicational abilities, lack of social conversation, irritability, lack of patience, making gruff noises to yourself when waiting for the elevator - it's taking too long, etc, are all pointers to a mind un-rested, as it's an exclamation to the self, for nothing else will speed up or change what is in motion already. Patience runs thin and we take exception about others making out that by default we are badly done to whereas what we are giving off is allowing others to take the lead because we certainly aren't, wrapped in our own mentality. Everyone has a life, so get out of the notion that "your problems" are of interest to others - they are not. It's not that others won't listen but they have problems too and only you can sort out what you have to sort out and only you think in your mind, no one else.

We have the power to start and stop a whole array of things and events in our lives, and not base it on what others think or do. It's not being selfish or self centred that's different it's us doing what's the best for us. It's here that the very selfish use that adage to do whatever they want based upon selfishness, but for most people they do what is expedient because that resides well within as opposed to having to fight within to effect change. Life is what it is we can't "dip in and dip out" to suite ourselves as that causes instability. Fun exists every day, friendship and love are there every day, happiness resides within every day and if you have to make any excuses as to why you can't be happy YOU are the problem, it rests nowhere else. Getting back to "square one" is essential and one should not have to put up and carry needless burdens, if stuff happens stop all the "Oh not again" or "why me" or "it doesn't happen to others" or "when will it all end" because that gets you nowhere it's allowing stupidity to enter into the affray, and when that happens you become stupid and you're not. Respect yourself, allow all that's good to enter into your life, don't be a bystander, don't makes excuses why life isn't as it should be, circumstances can change in an instant so don't rest on them be assured that whatever happens you are going to be fabulous, so be it - fabulous.

For more : www.thelifealchemist.com
FREE “E” Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012



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BEING LATE

One of the scourges common to businesses and friendships is that of people being late. It's not only disrespectful it's bad in every way possible as it lets others down and stops the smooth flow of life itself. If a cog in a watch no matter how big or small stops then it all stops. Similarly if others place a responsibility upon you as an individual then you either uphold it or be forever viewed as one who can't / won't uphold their part of the bargain. And before those who are late perpetually start to wriggle with annoyance 'blame culture' doesn't hold water either. Yes, there are at times mitigating circumstances where even the most die hard and studious person who always arrives early arrives late one day, but the circumstances pertaining to their enforced late arrival can be counted on one hand and are usually very exceptional. We all know of people who just can't keep to time, perpetually late or last minute or whatever besets or befalls them they just have a list of ready made excuses as to why they "had to do this" or "cut it so fine" as not to allow any safe margin whatsoever so pro-occupied with themselves and their thoughts that what is around is either secondary or less important.


The crucial matter for lateness is not traffic, accidents, weather, invasions from Mars and Venues, it's not even the alarm clock not going off for those that deem they need to be there get there, those that have to be there for whatever reason place secondary importance again on the delivery of themselves as it's a chore more than responsibility.  If one is late for work phoning from the "cell phone / mobile phone" doesn't make it all right, it may show a degree of courtesy should one be able to advise of late arrival but it doesn't admonish the responsibility factor nor does it do anything else - you are late - full stop. There is always a cause for lateness over and above circumstances en-route that one cannot help, illness, bereavement, children, etc, but if children are an on-going common cause that's not acceptable as the world doesn't revolve around your problems and it needs resolution.


The causes of lateness are usually of a psychological nature even if it's perpetually cutting it all too fine and not allowing for delays en-route. Are you happy with your work, or are you happy with the destination that you have an appointment with, even if it's the dentist or a hospital appointment, or an interview or a court appearance or whatever it may be. As a member of the human race you have a responsibility not only to yourselves but those around you too, and that has nothing to do with self concocted ego, arrogance and the 'what's in it for me' attitude for if any of these latter aspects creep into your thoughts you have a problem looming large. You ARE the problem. If you don't like where you work or dread work or dislike those who are at your work it speaks volumes about you and not your work. Understandably it's not always that easy to change jobs especially at certain times where the financial climate is weak and jobs are scarce, but if you respect your income no matter what it is then you should uphold who you are otherwise by default you make yourself worthless and that has very bad connotations that will eventually ostracise you by your own volition from many aspects of life.


 Blame culture, lax attitudes, lack of self respect, negative emotions at the forefront of your mind, small mindedness, pre-occupation with yourself, lack of respect for others, lack of purpose, insularity of mind, lack of focus, lack of priorities, etc are all contributory factors as to lateness especially those who are perpetually late. Lazy environments, i.e.people you work or live within who share the same social banal culture and talk about lateness as a topic, which exists and share their lame excuses and think it's clever. Late arrival usually starts with an apology, think about it, starting anything with an apology isn't good it puts you under par before anything has started and it usually lowers concentration often resulting in a lower performance and hurried thoughts which causes mistakes and lack of concentration. In some areas the smallest of mistakes can cause death or mayhem, just because perhaps your position in life isn't so critical it gives you no leeway to take matters into your own hand. You are paid for what you do not what you don't do.

For more : www.thelifealchemist.org
FREE “E” Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
www.liferadiointernational.com (24/7 emotional content) - App download too. iPhone/Android
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012
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STEERING YOUR OWN COURSE

It's amazing when you ask people whose life they are living, their retort is 'mine' and it's said with a degree of aplomb. Yes talk to them a little more and the conversation, regardless of it's content, starts to include others that by default play a role either by design or default that influence what they do and say. Of course we don't live in isolation and yes we do have significant others that we gladly take on board and meld our ways with to incorporate them as they do with us, it's called 'getting on with others''. Our focus on life at times goes astray in that we feel the need to both steer our own course and at the same time please others as that can give us a sense of achievement and acknowledgement, part of the 'feel good factor'. But the reality of all this is false because others then take you for what you give out whether it's done consciously or not, and if not careful it can get out of hand very quickly. It is at moments like this that when it gets out of hand we feel that we are taken advantage of or it all doesn't feel right or others get a wrong impression of how we are and we don't like that, even though it is us that has instigated it all ourselves.

Sometimes it is the little things in life that get to us, rather than the larger things that we tend to cope with and get to the bottom of without too much trouble. A self conscious attitude usually stops us making an issue out of the small things in life. If others do make an issue we even feel they are being picky or small minded and judge them differently. At times life is what it is, we have to make a compromise and do what we have to do even if it's not basically ideal, even within what we would like. Needs must and doing something is always better than doing nothing.  Life is full of conduits so we can make a leap forward to an amazing array of places just by meeting people in certain areas and be receptive to whatever it is they have to offer. We should be open to possibilities from the most unlikely sources and never pre-judge based upon outward views.

There are in life plenty of people who on the side lines will give you advice as to what to do and where to go. Whether it' is well meant or not it all comes from their perspective which is not yours.  One thing you must never do is ask or take advice from anyone who has aspirations less than your own, as it will always be below par and full of their own insecurities and fears. By all means listen, but if it doesn't resonate with you, move on. Unfortunately there are even those who may not even wish you to succeed as it would to their mind put themselves in a bad light. Even professional advisers can get it wrong, again everything comes from their perspective and that could ultimately produce something that one dreads doing and provides no upliftment and ultimately disappointment. There are no magic wands in life even though at times some have those proverbial 'lucky breaks. Either way you have to walk the walk and talk the talk.
  
For more : www.thelifealchemist.com
FREE “E” Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
www.liferadiointernational.com (24/7 emotional content) - App download too. iPhone/Android
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012



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DEALING WITH THE LIFE YOU'VE GOT

Many people live two lives, the one that they are living currently and an imaginary one that they hypothesise about, the one that's full of "when" and "if" and "at some point" all of which never happens in the way one allows their internal conjecture to materialise. It's full of areas which permits one to be taken out of the 'now' and just temporarily be drawn into a semi-fantasy that consists of an almost "now-plus" scenario with the nice bits added to the present to make it far more enjoyable and perhaps meld with ones ego or degree of arrogance, security in life or even vanity. Whatever it is it is very real to many people especially those striving to make something of their lives, for those that aren't in that situation such thoughts are more possibly residing in the "daydream" scenario. The worse thing that anyone can ever do is to "wish for the future" that something will materialise and then they will catch up and all will be well, well it won't. The only thing that's certain for the future is that it will be there awaiting you, how and what is a totally different matter. The thought process pertaining to this situation is called "Postponing Happiness", in that we strive today for tomorrow.

Dealing with today encompasses every facet of today not just pre-selected areas and thoughts, we live as a totality and as such that brings along with it everything that makes today - today, including happiness, thought, sincerity, fun, warmth, humility, potential and all the rest. Planning ahead doesn't in any shape or form "mothball" the present as if this were the runway for our aircraft to take off for the future. Visionaries are very grounded people they can see from the very place they are possibilities that are literally possibilities or what could be available in the future and the pathway from here to there is part of their ultimate gift, they are not 'cloud heads'. Even if to some their verbiage is a bit "off the planet" that's OK, we don't understand everyone and that's our failing not that of others. If we struggle with the life we have now then we are not magically going to be able to cope with what we wish to happen, if we can't cook, clean, be pleasant now then it's not going to suddenly bestow these abilities tomorrow, even if we employ a cook and a cleaner, we are still redundant souls in those areas. Self "kiddology" is a big let down in life, we don't have to be good at all things and in fact many successful people aren't good at a lot of things other than what they do, but understanding this raises their bar and rounds them up as a competent person hence they make the grade. That's not to say either that many successful people don't have "growing pain" at being able to afford a better lifestyle but don't feel totally comfortable in it.

At times circumstances and situations thrust a degree of weight upon us that we find is almost overbearing and burdensome. Yet that is life and we are all capable of tolerating this weight and dealing with it, as that brings the spring back into our step and makes us far more proficient and ebullient. Dwelling on anything always makes it worse as our minds then turn it into a scenario as it has nothing else to do, no fresh input or additional information so it churns it over and over and by default often allows it to stagnate then it really does become an almost "etched in" problem.  As dull and as boring and as tiresome as the odd daily negative scenario brings to us our positive attitude, if we take away the sighs and moans it makes our task far easier and mentally uplifting in that we then see what we are doing is an accomplishment as opposed to a chore that's got high sides that we have to get over. Life trundles on with or without us, it's what we make of it that makes it enjoyable, and if you have to revert to negative statements as a credential of right now you have almost by default written failure into your future plans.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
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