FEELING EMOTIONALLY BEREFT

Life is what it is and there's no getting away from the fact that at times it all goes swimmingly well then all of a sudden Whoosh that proverbial spanner gets dropped in the works and all seemingly comes to a grinding halt. Our fun and excitement are suddenly reduced to a low ebb and our vision and fun for what's ahead gets put on hold. No matter how many sighs we make and no matter how many tut tuts or other noises we make it doesn't make the slightest difference as it alters nothing whatsoever. We are amazing people, we do so much that we take for granted that we assume we can do so many things and we have gone through so much that when something daunting hits us we at times wonder why and how are we going to manage. Yet deep down we know are going to get through it even if the task ahead plays on our mind. However, something a little more closer to home tends to hit us and that is that feeling in the pit of our stomach or that nagging feeling that we have in our mind that just won't go away. It's not that we are ill or indeed suffering from anything whatsoever, it's a whole culmination of events that are straggling or dragging on in our lives that we seem not to shrug off but deem that we will get around to but don't. Like the small stone in our shoes it's the size of nothing yet hurts so much.

At the end of a busy day many people feel the need to either "chill out" or meet up with friends, the same result is expected, to overcome the day's hustle and bustle and 'normalise' life so that we can rest and start off a fresh the next day, seeing life new and vibrant and wonderful. It works, but only so much as we let it, for over riding what's lurking beneath is like putting a plaster over an open wound without cleaning it, it just festers and festers until it gets worse. Our mental health is so vitally important because if we let that diminish then everything we do will be lacklustre and if that becomes the norm then we effectively live below par. Once we live below par life takes on a different perspective and mantle, we look at all around us with different eyes, it all means something different and we start to calculate life as opposed to living it. Whereas once we would do things and enjoy company now we have to "think" about it and see if we really want to or just be on our own, this is the "half way" house to loneliness and a selfishness brought on by ourselves. Ironically it's quite often that those who do least feel the most tired and start to cosset themselves and feel precious because they have entered that "downward spiral" that's controlled from within. 

Lethargy, tiredness, lowness of life, vacant thoughts, lack of spontaneity, lack of sparkle, lack of communicational abilities, lack of social conversation, irritability, lack of patience, making gruff noises to yourself when waiting for the elevator - it's taking too long, etc, are all pointers to a mind un-rested, as it's an exclamation to the self, for nothing else will speed up or change what is in motion already. Patience runs thin and we take exception about others making out that by default we are badly done to whereas what we are giving off is allowing others to take the lead because we certainly aren't, wrapped in our own mentality. Everyone has a life, so get out of the notion that "your problems" are of interest to others - they are not. It's not that others won't listen but they have problems too and only you can sort out what you have to sort out and only you think in your mind, no one else.

We have the power to start and stop a whole array of things and events in our lives, and not base it on what others think or do. It's not being selfish or self centred that's different it's us doing what's the best for us. It's here that the very selfish use that adage to do whatever they want based upon selfishness, but for most people they do what is expedient because that resides well within as opposed to having to fight within to effect change. Life is what it is we can't "dip in and dip out" to suite ourselves as that causes instability. Fun exists every day, friendship and love are there every day, happiness resides within every day and if you have to make any excuses as to why you can't be happy YOU are the problem, it rests nowhere else. Getting back to "square one" is essential and one should not have to put up and carry needless burdens, if stuff happens stop all the "Oh not again" or "why me" or "it doesn't happen to others" or "when will it all end" because that gets you nowhere it's allowing stupidity to enter into the affray, and when that happens you become stupid and you're not. Respect yourself, allow all that's good to enter into your life, don't be a bystander, don't makes excuses why life isn't as it should be, circumstances can change in an instant so don't rest on them be assured that whatever happens you are going to be fabulous, so be it - fabulous.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012



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THE WILL TO LET GO

There's a lot spoken about the "will to let go", books describe the cathartic properties of "walking away" or "letting go" or "moving on" and to some extent it's all true. In most cases "letting go" is in reality easier said than done, it's often very hard to "let go" even when somethings aren't doing us any good whatsoever. The saying "better the devil you know is better than the devil you don't" rings true with many people but that always pre-supposes that what they are about to leave and enter into won't be any better, it usually is or the thought of leaving in the first place or moving on wouldn't have emerged. We all need to move on, let go of certain areas of our life, we leave home, get a new job, find a partner, and so it goes on. Familiarity is to some a way of life if not a comfort, routines, traditions, etc, are all very well and good but without modification of time taking place they can turn about face and start to both repress your life and you can actually regress as you tend to be stationary whilst life overtakes you. For most people "letting go" or "moving on" is a momentos task it takes a big change of heart and often dexterity to effect what they need to do and in the process it can affect a number of people who lose their degree of importance and position in life with regards to friendship and 'best friend type' status. By the same token those that make such a forward move often need to cultivate a whole new base for their lives including friends, neighbours, colleagues, associates, attitudes, environment, thoughts, perceptions and ideologies as to a new future from a different base.

There's a big difference between being selfish and doing something for yourself, being a martyr to yourself isn't smart, it's silly and will only bring on eternal regret and possibly hardship too. It's not that we can't or don't or won't give up something to help others especially those close to us but in the bigger picture what we do has a defined action and course that directs us forward. How we go forward is thus also defined by not only our actions but our attitude and our perceptions of life too. We are the only ones who can direct ourselves in life no matter what help we have or opportunities present themselves. Living with regret isn't an option if we do something we should do so with purpose even if it's not exactly what we would like, building up a store house of regrets and excuses is for the feeble minded and those that seek beyond whom they are. To move anywhere in life we must "let go" of where we are otherwise we just won't move, the circumstances of where we are and the parameters of where we live within and the conditions in which we allow ourselves to move alter quite significantly even for those who are predominantly sedentary. If we do nothing life takes us forward by default, so it's imperative that we do something no matter what to both effect a change to our betterment and place our own purpose firmly on the map. Anything less and we start to both lose the plot and become by default drones just wandering aimlessly and then the rot sets in.

Families, friends, relationships, comfort factors, etc weigh heavily when it comes to having to move on for some, for others they see the bigger picture and know that whilst the current status quo may be good and relatively wholesome, the future won't be an extension on the "now" as fragmentation takes place either by design or default and then the "I should have done this ages ago" thoughts spring to mind. There is also that thing called "the love walk" and if life is that good where you are then the love element from both within yourself and others will allow you to move onwards unheeded because with "love" in evidence only the best is good enough and if that means moving on then so be it and no bitterness, jealousy, envy, etc, will be there to tarnish it all. We are all different and what some do to move forward is a step too far for others, there's no wrong nor right in this, it is what it is, but even the very staid get bored in life and that need not happen, although much of what becomes of them is effected by a narrow attitude that does little for anyone let alone themselves. Letting go provides a paving of the way for the future list of unknowns but from a higher more updated stance, it's here that we can excel or find ourselves and allow our various aptitudes to flourish or at least give them a chance to blossom to some degree. Letting go is not always that easy emotionally even though the aspect of going somewhere better resonates well. We have to do what we have to do, but the bottom line is whatever decision you take don't make it rest with an excuse beside it, make it a committment that way you'll feel more secure and useful within.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

MOVING ON

Our lives comprise of a series of defined areas where we ourselves strive or aim to get to, many of them we succeed, and some are areas where life does its own thing and we end up as recipients of circumstances and weird situations at times also. It happens to everyone and there are no favourites nor prisoners taken in the process. We are as individuals entities of our own making, that is our minds are ours from day one until the day we die, and once we reach our teens we are basically 'on our own' as far as how we think via our individuality and where our perceptions of life are concerned. We can be well educated and stupid or we can be far less educated and very wise, neither wisdom nor stupidity are linked to education we need a modicum of each to go forward. Many is the time that creativity is born out of little education but the wisdom has allowed others to take over and uphold what the originator lacks, everything in its place. You can also end up as very well educated and become a television expert that talks a load of rubbish and gets it all wrong as what they think or surmise is basically based upon here say. The fluidity of life today especially with social networking and viral growth has almost eliminated extrapolations and the unexpected is now the expected.

Whether we like it or not we move on, life evolves and we get taken with it lock stock and barrel it's only when we decide to do something of our own volition that we can define more succinctly a future for ourselves and where we would like to be placed, even if it's a constant striving of modifications en-route. There is but one guarantee in life and that's death and here lies a whole load of conjecture as to the after life or the 'that's your lot' theory, options are always open. But whilst we are alive we need to do the best we can and that takes a great deal of personal dexterity in order to at least respect whom we are as individuals and be selective who we allow into our lives on our journey. Our sentient capability gives us feelings and a a purpose to keep going even if some don't exactly know why or possibly care, but it takes all sorts to make a world. Our progress encompasses many hurdles and also many joys too which we must never ever overlook by dwelling upon what wasn't that exciting as it will quell our focus and stymie our ability to proficiently enjoy tomorrow and the day after.
 
Countries move onwards but not neccessarily to better things, business move on and close down, areas move on and get demolished, and moving on doesn't automatically denote better, although in most cases the striving force is for better even if the end product is the opposite. Moving on at times is more of a metamorphasis in that what one moves on to bears no resemblance to the past or what was originally envisaged, it's therefor impertaive that one has an open mind to allow drastic yet far better changes take place than to hold on to the past and wollow in the detritus of redundant life being regurgitated for the sake of it. It's sometimers leaving our comfort zone that is the achiles heal and we dare not make those needed moves so life literally grates as it fights with potential and throws up an unstable present that has little if nothing to offer. Life can be good or it can be resilient and keep us firmly placed to where we are, we have the ability to change even if a little, and don't forget it takes a small pin to burst a big balloon. Similarly any small changes we make can have positive changes that we can enjoy ahead of us.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others

LEAVING OLD WAYS BEHIND

Does the past ever come back to haunt you or do you frequently recall events or incidents of the past, or indeed have you got a story of the past that you use frequently to bolster your excuses about life and bore people silly with. Are past and possibly present failures haunting you and causing you to believe that things won't ever get better for you or that what you went through could happen again or for some is still going on? Does at times the future look like the present but just projected towards tomorrow almost a deja vu scenario living today in tomorrows space with nothing more happening other than thoughts, wishes and dreams, because this is common to many, in all areas of life. How we view and perceive life is how life will be, even if deep down our wishes and aspirations and possibly desperate thoughts lean towards a greatness that gets us out of where we are now to somewhere better, but still seems to be spring loaded to keep us firmly entrenched into now. Life is not linear and it's not something confined to paper or text books or anything else, what you are living is not only unique but it will not be repeated ever again by anyone else no matter how  similar it may appear. Your destiny is what it is and you are pivotal to how that unfolds. You are the actor, producer and director of your whole life production and also your worst critic too. You are the chief earner (no matter where your stipend comes from), your own accountant, adviser, social observer and you are your own host, whoever you meet befriend, marry, shack up with you are the one and only one to make those decisions. Even if you choose to follow someone else and it all goes terribly wrong, you did it, you must accept the blame or that responsibility, no answering back you did it! (and no mumbling to yourself either)....

Good things in life come to us all, some know it only too well, and others seemingly feel that they are left out of the loop and when things of a goodly nature do surface as they are so overwhelmed by the 'not so good things' that a feeling of exasperation ensues as opposed to gratitude. But the real crux of all of this is if you want good things to happen you have to create them they just don't arrive on their own. You have to be in it to win it, winning the lottery maybe at great odds against but never buying a ticket ensures one thing - you'll never never win not even the smallest prize. Successful people create an environment to succeed against the odds in many cases many a "nice" person just sits back and complains that they tried a few things and they didn't work and give in at that, big difference in both mentality and ability, and also in forward perceptions too. But what has this got to do with leaving old ways behind, everything, because the old thoughts and ways are rarely updated and not in sufficient quantities to make life different and more optimistic. Resting on your laurels is the worst mistake most people make and thus almost subliminally resign themselves to where they are and although they think they make the odd move forward they don't do anything in the real stakes that's going to make any difference unless by pure chance.

The actuality of life the positive or negative moves are controlled from within, "stuff happens" situations and circumstances change purely because everything has a shelf life and whilst some are short some can be lengthy. In the middle of this we are placed and have available to us a whole wealth of things we can do that will elevate ourselves and almost advertise who we are and where we are for without any degree of self elevation there is no platform to work upon. When there is no platform to work upon the default situation is looking back at the past as it's tangible even though it died a death in the annals of our history. What didn't work then can now, what never transpired then might now, it's what we push for that makes the tumblers turn and the countdown get closer to what we either want or find something even better available that was out of our scope of knowledge or understanding.

Cultures and old traditions may seem cute and colourful and edifying, but many are so out of touch with today's age that they cause real harm and damage and can be even evil in intent as such things were outlawed when time moved on and they didn't. Reminiscing about the past, recalling memories, admiring those that did their best for us in the past to give us what we have now is all admirable stuff. But memories don't build futures, and both should be kept separately in their respective places. Trying to use tradition as a way forward is like regurgitating the past and has not only dire consequences but smacks of narrow minds and real problems ahead, often making them insurmountable because today is where you live not yesterday. It's hard for some to leave the past as it can give comfort yet it's a pure false and hollow scenario as it offers nothing in return and often alienates one from not only their surroundings but the reality of life itself.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)