UPPING YOUR GAME

Throughout our lives we have a series of ups and downs, sometimes what we experience is akin to free fall parachuting in that we soar to a dizzy height then drop uncontrollably somewhere that we hadn't bargained for. At times too life as we have been enjoying it comes to an abrupt end leaving us feeling somewhat empty inside and lacking in energy and mental charisma to go forward. Whatever it is we have to move on and move on under our own steam, not allowing others to take us forward by default into their world all of which is based upon their thoughts sometimes it's their thoughts that had cause the rift in the first place. Even if nothing in particular has happened to us, life never stays in the same groove so we need to progress from where we are otherwise we will again by default find that our 'cosy' environment has suddenly come to a big full stop. Our "full stop" however caused isn't fun, it not only turns our world upside down it causes many mind jolts that destabilise whom we are and our thoughts for the future. In the process of restating ourselves and placing our life back on track it can be for all of those around us to a time when they also assess themselves and their relationship with us, often having to make a concerted effort to alter it and the way in which they liaise with us.

It's always good to "up your game" to try better elevate your thoughts and feelings after all if we move on in life and take nothing of  what we have learned then it doesn't bode well for either the future or our stability or happiness. Life is "work in progress" and it's when we are "at one" with ourselves is when we can pick up on the nuances and the tell tale signs that should steer us around what is potentially looming large ahead of us. Following others isn't smart, what may seem like a good idea and worthwhile when others do something does not necessarily translate into us doing it. What emanates from within us is the only expedient step we can take. And whilst we see books on "success", rags to riches, step by step guide to becoming a billionaire, secrets of business, etc, all of which are a good read, the one thing they never ever state is that the difference between the author and the reader is "the time line".  Everything else is parallel and thus circumstances are never the same even if parameters seem identical. If all of these good reads were as they are purported to be we would have streams of wild successes whereas it's the opposite.

Upping our game at any stage is good even if it initially means cutting back or pruning what we have to secure a better base upon which to grow again. Life isn't linear and the "time line" always, always, always introduces aspects of 'now' which makes the theory of much of what we do, see, enact, read invalid even if the modus operandi is the same. It's like following a recipe, if you cook on a cold day or a hot day it can affect the cooking time, yet the recipe gives you the exact minutes. Variances in life can make a world of difference to the result and many people are successful because they hit a "right" moment which excels what they are doing, whilst others who do the very same thing hit a lull and the opposite happens.  Many a multi-national company launches a product which bombs out, only to re-launch it six months later and to takes off. Small businesses often don't have that latitude and the first failure leaves them with a massive debt that often they hardly recover from, but it doesn't mean that their product / service wasn't of excellent merit.

We can however "up our game" at our level, just what we do, say, our presentation, string of friends, etc, all makes a difference to the end result. We have to 'walk the walk' and not just theorise about it, which often happens when you read a book, you get excited and fired up by new ideas and thoughts, yet a week later you are still where you were before even if more knowledgeable. Translation and "time lines" often thwart most people leaving them a little despondent, it shouldn't as diligence has a way of overcoming the temporary set backs and negative periods when little seems to happen. We do control our own mind sets and as such should "bolster our thoughts ourself" by doing so we learn so much about what is around us as opposed to blending into what's around us which takes away our control and numbs our creativity. We evolve, so upping our game steers our course and stops us by default moving in a direction that we hadn't planned. In life there is much to have, over and above those areas of what we would like, but if we only adhere to "what we would like" we miss out on the possibilities and permutations that we hadn't even thought of or been privy to know. Allow the bigger picture to enter into your life and see what a vast difference it can make.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

THE WILL TO LET GO

There's a lot spoken about the "will to let go", books describe the cathartic properties of "walking away" or "letting go" or "moving on" and to some extent it's all true. In most cases "letting go" is in reality easier said than done, it's often very hard to "let go" even when somethings aren't doing us any good whatsoever. The saying "better the devil you know is better than the devil you don't" rings true with many people but that always pre-supposes that what they are about to leave and enter into won't be any better, it usually is or the thought of leaving in the first place or moving on wouldn't have emerged. We all need to move on, let go of certain areas of our life, we leave home, get a new job, find a partner, and so it goes on. Familiarity is to some a way of life if not a comfort, routines, traditions, etc, are all very well and good but without modification of time taking place they can turn about face and start to both repress your life and you can actually regress as you tend to be stationary whilst life overtakes you. For most people "letting go" or "moving on" is a momentos task it takes a big change of heart and often dexterity to effect what they need to do and in the process it can affect a number of people who lose their degree of importance and position in life with regards to friendship and 'best friend type' status. By the same token those that make such a forward move often need to cultivate a whole new base for their lives including friends, neighbours, colleagues, associates, attitudes, environment, thoughts, perceptions and ideologies as to a new future from a different base.

There's a big difference between being selfish and doing something for yourself, being a martyr to yourself isn't smart, it's silly and will only bring on eternal regret and possibly hardship too. It's not that we can't or don't or won't give up something to help others especially those close to us but in the bigger picture what we do has a defined action and course that directs us forward. How we go forward is thus also defined by not only our actions but our attitude and our perceptions of life too. We are the only ones who can direct ourselves in life no matter what help we have or opportunities present themselves. Living with regret isn't an option if we do something we should do so with purpose even if it's not exactly what we would like, building up a store house of regrets and excuses is for the feeble minded and those that seek beyond whom they are. To move anywhere in life we must "let go" of where we are otherwise we just won't move, the circumstances of where we are and the parameters of where we live within and the conditions in which we allow ourselves to move alter quite significantly even for those who are predominantly sedentary. If we do nothing life takes us forward by default, so it's imperative that we do something no matter what to both effect a change to our betterment and place our own purpose firmly on the map. Anything less and we start to both lose the plot and become by default drones just wandering aimlessly and then the rot sets in.

Families, friends, relationships, comfort factors, etc weigh heavily when it comes to having to move on for some, for others they see the bigger picture and know that whilst the current status quo may be good and relatively wholesome, the future won't be an extension on the "now" as fragmentation takes place either by design or default and then the "I should have done this ages ago" thoughts spring to mind. There is also that thing called "the love walk" and if life is that good where you are then the love element from both within yourself and others will allow you to move onwards unheeded because with "love" in evidence only the best is good enough and if that means moving on then so be it and no bitterness, jealousy, envy, etc, will be there to tarnish it all. We are all different and what some do to move forward is a step too far for others, there's no wrong nor right in this, it is what it is, but even the very staid get bored in life and that need not happen, although much of what becomes of them is effected by a narrow attitude that does little for anyone let alone themselves. Letting go provides a paving of the way for the future list of unknowns but from a higher more updated stance, it's here that we can excel or find ourselves and allow our various aptitudes to flourish or at least give them a chance to blossom to some degree. Letting go is not always that easy emotionally even though the aspect of going somewhere better resonates well. We have to do what we have to do, but the bottom line is whatever decision you take don't make it rest with an excuse beside it, make it a committment that way you'll feel more secure and useful within.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

HELP WHERE IT IS NEEDED

There's nothing wrong with real honest help when needed, it goes a long way to assisting us in our quest and journey in life. Whether it's financial, gardening, with our IT, knowledge, experience, it matters not, when we need help we need help. Of course help can be sub-divided into what is essential and expedient and what just lightens the load or makes things a bit easier, and the difference can be quite substantial. Help commercially costs and some companies actually make their money on help or support more than the product, a bit like printers where cartridges or at least the branded ones can almost cost the same as the printer itself, all carefully worked out - a sprat to catch a mackerel. Very little in the business world is genuinely free, not that it can be after all there are costs involved but the difference between offering a service and greed is getting far less, and often the service isn't as competent as it once was.

There is the type of help too that's benevolent, that we do to help others or give assistance or offer support because we think that whatever it is is worthwhile or the person / people we support are worthy of our kind deed. Giving is actually very cathartic, not to everyone as the mean see life differently, but the vast majority of the population have strong and endearing feelings about fellow man, even if they don't like some areas of it. Giving actually produces in most people a feeling of well being and it's not always of a financial nature it can be just listening to the plight of someone as well as offering your knowledge and experience in a matter. Those that have 'cold hearts' usually have few if not any friends, and if single end up very lonely. In life everything has repercussions and an action to it that either promotes one's life of demotes it, our choices and decisions do make a difference to the quality of life we enjoy, even if it's at times not that great.

The Western world has for years supported the "third world" much of the funds have made real progress in the lives of many people, but much has be syphoned off to the bureaucratic structures of the respective countries for their own needs, such is life in such places. Where help is often given freely the feeling that it has not been used for purpose makes people feel 'used' and 'abused' where their kindness and generosity has been misplaced. This thought again follows in a service of a product via a manufacturer it's all to do with a quality threshold and why some companies fair better than others. Help is a two way structure, we give help or assistance and in turn at times we need it ourselves even if it's just down to filling our tax forms out, if we are stuck and don't know - we need help, otherwise we could literally do ourselves a disservice in the process.

Some people are generous to a fault, it's a natural trait, others are more discerning, some are even gullible and don't really help because by assisting those that are asking for help it stops them actually getting something really tangible for themselves, such as the lazy and those who just want to take seeing no other option. Then of course there are those who do nothing, their motto is 'I don't ask or take so I don't give', but then that never lasts for long for the moment they require help of great need to them they see another world out there and one which they have been sadly missing out on for so long. The base line for everyone in life is you only get out what you put in, and it may seem from the side lines that that is disproportionate, but at the end of the day you haven't seen what has been nor what is about to happen.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

HELP ME - PLEASE....

It's of no surprise that right now somewhere someone is desperate for help of some kind, it doesn't matter what it is, desperation is the same for everyone regardless of the nature or the severity of the situation. But further down the line there is a degree of desperation that just doesn't quite hit the 'critial list' yet constantly burns away deep inside of us awaiting a solution that's affecting our life. It's the constant gnawing that 'toothache' that's at the back of our mind that's throbbing away and taking the edge of our every day life, making our small choices and decisions seem larger than they should be and bringing our world into a narrower focus that eliminates or excludes what we could really be enjoying. Whether at work or at home, the feeling that there is just something that's preventing life moving to the 'fast lane' weighs heavily and many people are caught up in this scenario, many that on the outside one wouldn't realise nor see nor even anticipate that such problems exist within them as they smile and get along their daily life as if trouble free. Yet deep within the seas of rage battle against the odds and the inner vision of life is anything but that what appears on the outside.

Help is something that many people steer well clear of and even more so bottle up what they have churning around within for fear that others may judge them on what it is that's bothering them.  It's this mixed emotion of being "thought of" by others that also exacerbates the situation greatly as they then feel locked into a scenario that they don't want to discuss their predicament and feel it's either not that great as to get professional help and again that they will be judged by the professional as being weak or stupid or that they should be able to deal with whatever they are going through but still can't. It's such dilemmas that many face daily and at times problems or mind situations come thick and fast that it can at a certain moment be almost inwardly overwhelming and then sleeplessness sets in and irascibility and one gets on a short fuse and the humour levels diminish and so it all gets worse.

Mental health is one of the biggest problem areas in the West, although it's increasing in the developing world and intermediary worlds too such as those religiously controlled areas that have extremely high mental health issues because of it. If the mental health of a nation flounders then everything goes with it, the Arab Spring which will come to very little in the end will be a curse of those that didn't have the courage and strength of conviction to make a clean sweep, resulting in everyone even the victors whoever they may be suffering at their archaic deeds. It's essential that we like our computers get rid of both the unwanted files and the accumulated redundant information otherwise everything slows up and possibly crashes, as humans we can act in that very same mode, although crashing is something we must strive not to do at all costs.

Help is available in many places even if initially we assume that it isn't or we think it isn't because that way it's easier to absolve ourselves from doing anything, yet at the same time we are only putting off the day of eventuality and a high degree of happiness which we are admonishing whilst keeping our problems at the forefront of our minds. Different things effect different people and it's up to us being experts of ourselves to do something about it. It matters not what others think, if they think bad thoughts you don't need them, otherwise they should be compassionate and sympathetic. Help from whatever source one will find that you are not alone and that feeling of embarrassment and
failure and letting yourself down will immediately be eliminated and a feeling of joy, upliftment, strength and new ability will flow immediately within. Often to the effect of "why didn't I do this before" and to know that you are not alone is also so just so emancipating that ones problems are sent into check straight away and a renewed feeling of ability flows through your whole body.

Whatever your situation respect YOURSELF, forget what others whoever they are think, forget about self created stigma, forget about your own embarrassment - as if you are the only one with a problem, forget about what will the professionals think - they have problems too, forget about anything but getting your problems solved whatever they are it matters not, medical, mental, physical, financial, relationship, situational, family, work, bullying, children, stalking, the list is endless if it's causing concern then it needs to be dealt with and you to get back on track as soon as possible. Getting back into the driving seat is far preferable than to be a passenger in your own life, think hard, fast and quickly make a decision that whatever is troubling you long term, not just temporary events, isn't going to be there any longer and make a move to free yourself up to a better and more rewarding life. One thing to beware is that of selfish concern by family members or friends, who are definitely not experts in your problems and will always give stilted, biased, weighted answers towards what they think and have little regard for yourself. Independent advice is on the whole by far the best solution and one where you can be neutral in what you say and think and feel and without reciprocal emotion which is self generated. It's your life, if you can't do it for you  no one can and if you falter then those around you are of no value either as respect and communication just flies out the window.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

ARE YOU PART OF THE PROBLEM

Endlessly chewing over the past, ruminating over the present and regurgitating the failures, staring at the closed doors, reminiscing at all the endless cul de sac's that you've come across guarantees just one thing, you're never ever going to get a break because you're looking at the past. The future whatever it is is there for you, but if your mind is focused upon other negative things then you are sadly going to miss out on the opportunities, the openings, the entrances, the open doors, the conduits, the fast tracks, the quantum leaps and all the rest. Life is looking forward as that's the direction you are travelling. So many people view life and what's in it as a series of insurmountable events based always on the past or even hereditary conditions or self created visions of fear that stymies all before them. Problems as we perceive them are events that we identify as not being conducive to our need or cause, so that in itself is debatable as to whether it's a problem or not or how we are mentally placed to take remedial or appropriate action to move forward making our perceived problem a thing of the past. Problems vary in magnitude and proportion and thus they happen in our lives and those of others daily, sometimes with devastating consequences others with consequences of little merit that we bolster up and cause to be out of all proportion, this is how we take on board our own thought process and value, selfishness has a great deal to play in how we deal with anything in life.

 

 

Today's increasing "blame culture" is an option that many take to both absolve themselves of any connection to the problem other than to seek the "victim mentality" and at the same time try to solicit the sympathy vote so hopefully someone will try and tackle their problem for them. It seldom works as this route implies deeply within that your own value is of little worth and that your future is not going to be of any worthwhile substance, i.e. life is going to be a struggle hopping from event to event to try and get by. It's got to be said that problems aren't the best thing to happen to us as they nearly always take a bite out of our plans and fill our minds with thoughts of immediate change or even re-routing what we had planned to take in the extra work needed to get back on track again. Having said that the adage "every cloud has a silver lining" can in many instances work to our long term benefit if we have an open mind as to what's happened and not make everything that doesn't go our way as a drama, which some do and some cultures definitely do. The more of an even keel we can keep our thoughts on the better life always is as we can then enjoy the highs and not get bogged down in artificial lows which has a tendency to permanently make us sceptical about life in general, and then we lose out by default.

Whatever besets and befalls us integrates us into the situation, whether it's a car accident, a bereavement, our washing machine spewing water all over the floor, or our TV breaking down just before the favourite late night movie we have been waiting to see. Or that a strike with the airlines has curtailed our long awaited and saved up for holidays, or just before we embark on our house extension we are made redundant, or our beloved partner is diagnosed with a terminal illness, problems exist in all shapes and sizes and are as real to the individual regardless of their magnitude, comparisons are a useless linkage. How we deal with our lives is how we enjoy them or get by ourselves, if we forever tell all and sundry about our problems or indeed anyone who will listen we quickly lose our ability to cope as we give our problem gravitas and thus it starts in our mind to becoming a living reality which takes on a mantle of its own as opposed to a passing incident.

 

 

Whatever involves us needs to be remedied, procrastination only increases the stress factor and aggravates the final act of rectification. We are always part of the problem otherwise there wouldn't be a problem, it's how like everything to do with us we deal with it and mentally place it in a pecking order that makes it workable and effective in its execution or long term understanding. If we don't find mental solace it becomes a nightmare of Hollywood proportions which we then have created a scenario that we have to live by and that in itself will have consequences that will ultimately implode and bring us down even further. We must however never ever lose sight of the good things in life, and the conversations that many put out such as "how can I see good things in life when I'm going through this" etc, or words to that effect just goes to show how narrow mindedness of the self can effectively bring one down and form a platform of unhappiness that may be there for ever. Ingrained thoughts are at times the most difficult to shift and people who create them tend to hold on to them as a crux for their entire future life. We are an entity of our own making, like it or not the smile we have on our face may cover up a whole multitude of unsavoury incidents, but those that make the effort to smile regardless do enjoy the best of what life can bring as opposed to the worst others create themselves.

 

 

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others).