STEERING YOUR OWN COURSE

It's amazing when you ask people whose life they are living, their retort is 'mine' and it's said with a degree of aplomb. Yes talk to them a little more and the conversation, regardless of it's content, starts to include others that by default play a role either by design or default that influence what they do and say. Of course we don't live in isolation and yes we do have significant others that we gladly take on board and meld our ways with to incorporate them as they do with us, it's called 'getting on with others''. Our focus on life at times goes astray in that we feel the need to both steer our own course and at the same time please others as that can give us a sense of achievement and acknowledgement, part of the 'feel good factor'. But the reality of all this is false because others then take you for what you give out whether it's done consciously or not, and if not careful it can get out of hand very quickly. It is at moments like this that when it gets out of hand we feel that we are taken advantage of or it all doesn't feel right or others get a wrong impression of how we are and we don't like that, even though it is us that has instigated it all ourselves.

Sometimes it is the little things in life that get to us, rather than the larger things that we tend to cope with and get to the bottom of without too much trouble. A self conscious attitude usually stops us making an issue out of the small things in life. If others do make an issue we even feel they are being picky or small minded and judge them differently. At times life is what it is, we have to make a compromise and do what we have to do even if it's not basically ideal, even within what we would like. Needs must and doing something is always better than doing nothing.  Life is full of conduits so we can make a leap forward to an amazing array of places just by meeting people in certain areas and be receptive to whatever it is they have to offer. We should be open to possibilities from the most unlikely sources and never pre-judge based upon outward views.

There are in life plenty of people who on the side lines will give you advice as to what to do and where to go. Whether it' is well meant or not it all comes from their perspective which is not yours.  One thing you must never do is ask or take advice from anyone who has aspirations less than your own, as it will always be below par and full of their own insecurities and fears. By all means listen, but if it doesn't resonate with you, move on. Unfortunately there are even those who may not even wish you to succeed as it would to their mind put themselves in a bad light. Even professional advisers can get it wrong, again everything comes from their perspective and that could ultimately produce something that one dreads doing and provides no upliftment and ultimately disappointment. There are no magic wands in life even though at times some have those proverbial 'lucky breaks. Either way you have to walk the walk and talk the talk.
  
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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012



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STABILITY

The major problems affecting people in the West are those associated with the self, that is not material problems but mental scenarios that are difficult for many to get to grips with or come to terms with.  Ironically within our own reality many material things exist on our 'want list' and that in itself creates further mental unrest as we deem materialism as almost essential to us either moving forward or becoming more 'established' or fulfilling our desire to be whatever it is we desire. It can be such a lonely and narrow pathway we create as we build up an image of how we wish to be and present ourselves to the outside world that we lose the reality of what it is that we do best and our own personality. So many people face the possibility of failure because they take the wrong trajectory or tack in life based upon what they think as opposed to what they know and an almost immediate struggle is self created and it need not be so. The dichotomy of life of how we see it and how others see us at the same time walking together to reach our goals is at times so different that if analysed we would not recognise what is taking place and who is doing what either. Such confusion is getting more common as people tend to relinquish ownership of themselves and base it upon a mixture of hypothetical ideals of others, perceptions, incorrect thoughts and following others who they have little idea as to how they made the grade and what they encountered en-route.

Everywhere one goes we are bombarded with sales, concocted ideals, perceived and created realities all drawn up by a collection of thoughts and sales pitches that are designed to pull those insecure heart strings, those excitable areas of potential and the hope of better things to come but very little chance of it ever reaching a glimmer of success as it's all hollow, shallow and grossly insincere. Time lines are the biggest failure areas that people seem to omit in their thinking, what someone did there, then, at that time, with those circumstances, with their parameters, etc, etc, doesn't exist anymore. And whilst their modus operandi is good and solid the detail surrounding it all doesn't exist anymore either, it was all in the past. Such books that purport to give one the clues or steps to success are really a biography of those that have made it and whilst logic prevails throughout the guarantee of it happening to you are minimal at best. Entrepreneurs just "do it", if you need endless motivational tools then your chances are already reduced and whilst motivation is always good it doesn't carry any backup so failure or gross disappointment or worse 'still can't work' with the new learn-ed knowledge because it doesn't quite compute in the mind leaves many frustrated and resigned to falling back on themselves.

Our stability is essential if we are to think clearly, sleep well and face the future no matter what happens. There are no magic wands out there so we have to be realistic as to where we want to go, what we have to accept (which is hard for many as they think they deserve more) and what is the potential again realistically for the future. Striving for a dream is wasting your time and boring those around you. It doesn't mean negating a goal but placing everything in a reality scenario because unless we actively embark upon something it's never ever going to happen. Stability is to do with US and no one else, we can't apportion him, her, this, that, because, they, or anything else, it's all down to us to sort out and not wait for others to change or circumstance to change to suite us, that's pathetic. Placing the onus on areas that we have no control over isn't smart, we have a lot of clout ourselves and ability to alter many things, laziness is the biggest obstacle and thus the "self" is the biggest problem we will ever have to face.
 
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John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012