WHEN OUR ASPIRATIONS DON'T COME TRUE

We start off in life with few dreams other than what's on our mind in the immediate future, we know in reality very little so our minds aren't cluttered up with endless possibilities, options or the material values of life. We know what love is but we rarely know what it is called, we don't know what respect is to a large extent and similarly don't understand what disrespect is, but we know what we want or think we what and definitely don't want. In short we are immature, everything we think is a very limited knowledge of life and what our parents have taught us or we have picked up on, so that can explain a lot as to how we think and act. As we get older our minds develop and our aptitudes also likewise form a complex understanding of our abilities, thoughts, intelligence, common sense and ideas as to how we personally would like life to unfold. We often have at least a two pronged version of life ahead, an ideal version and a version that incorporates reality to a very basic degree, however for some the dividing line is very narrow.

Life is a learning curve and sometimes that curve is vertical such is the lesson or lessons that we are confronting and trying our best to sort out. In fact at times so much is happening all at once that we often take a back seat and wonder what it's all about and that will things ever be the same or even just get better. But they do, we struggle or muddle onwards, we come through it all. Some seemingly come through the dark areas quicker than others, but there is usually a reason for this and there is usually something within the self that helps us along or hinders our pathway, attitude being one of the biggest pluses or minuses in our mental conditioning. Dwelling on the problem stop us seeing the solution, telling all and sundry about the state of our life can in effect give it gravitas in as much as it makes it into an even bigger episode and thus we now have to deal with a 'monster' we have created in our mind and try to give updates to those unfortunate ones that are silly enough to listen.

Disappointment shouldn't be an entity in our lives, it shouldn't be a weight that bears down upon us and stifles our creativity or zest to go forward. It shouldn't end up as a regret, nor should it be viewed as any kind of failure, in fact the reality is that all the really great people who have made a difference have failed endless times in their quest to reach whatever it is they were trying to attain. Very few indeed had help either, they were scorned by not only onlookers who were either sceptical or jealous but their own negative families who were in themselves dull, boring and uneventful in their own outlook. Many a person has set out in life to do one thing only to end up doing something completely different and a million miles away from their original thoughts.

As we travel life's high road we are exposed to many people, events and situations that offer opportunities that are way beyond our thoughts and feelings, these often stimulate areas within that laid dormant for many years and possible never ever been evaluated so we have never acted upon same. It doesn't matter what time of life we start something, it's immaterial we need to follow our pathway and not the bystanders pathways who are always full of negativity. We must never ever ask advice from anyone who has an aspiration less than our own, no matter who they are, their answers will be full of their own fears and insecurities. There is but one way in life and that is forward, regrets amount to nothing, wrong pathways account for experience and inner personal desire is ours and ours alone. We must always surround ourselves with positive people as they will want you to succeed even if they are not quite sure what it is you are doing, their sole energy however is love based, and that is enough for success. We must keep an open mind at all times even if we have a defined goal because if we are too rigid then opportunities that become available will float by to those who are more receptive and that enhance areas that we have never even thought about. It's good to be strong and persevere but at the same time expedient to be open to what we don't know which amounts to far more than we do know and there lies the success quotient.

When our original aspirations come to nought or don't materialise in the way we would have liked then it's time to review everything about us and around us. It's not to say downscaling or moving on or changing tack. Life is to be enjoyed come what may and the journey has to be enjoyed too, for if we put off enjoyment until our goal has been reached then it's all far too late and the moments en-route have been lost and if they are lost life is lost or at worst wasted. Not everything will become what we want it to be and we can't compare either, that doesn't hold water, neither does the thought of "it's not fair", etc. We are the masters of our ourselves whatever transpires, and thus we need to be at one with life as it has to be lived, enjoyed, laughed at at, kicked into shape. put into place and when we end up at the finish line all exhausted we can say "what a journey" with peace of mind and a restful heart. Many become successful (and that's subjective)  only to have had no life en-route and they tend to forget the bad times enjoying only what's left. Make sure that whatever happens you enjoy every moment you can as it can't ever be repeated.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

WHEN IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

 Much of life is based upon perspectives, ideology, circumstances and situations, and that as we all know can differ radically not only from country to country but from person to person. We often ponder and wonder why someone did this or that or what possessed the government to do this or that because the consequences of such have drastically backfired, etc. We listen to politicians on television and at times with amazement wondering if they are on drugs or perhaps need to be or even are they of this planet, it's often that groups of people change their opinions when engaged in different strata's of life. We hear architects waxing lyrically about buildings with sweeping lines and wooden facades that will age with time and blend in, yet all we see is a clinical cold object with unkempt  faded cladding that appears neglected cold isolated and without any warmth that is an ideal medium to cause repressive thoughts and a home to vandalism and graffiti. We hear local government talk of multi-culturism, yet all we see are swathes of foreigners in enclaves that are the new ghettos and where everyone else keeps away even commerce so it houses alien cultural abnormalities and inbred dysfunctionality and gross isolation and then becomes run down and violence, drugs, poverty, crime and social inability creeps in and then they wonder why it's all happened. A slum run by social services and then that's the beginning of the end if not the end already, designer built problems from lax attitudes, stupid and weak minds.

A lot of life is way beyond what we have any control over, not that we need to give up or admonish ourselves of any responsibility nor keep our opinions to ourselves. Never end up like some politically correct idiot that tries to stymie conversation as opposed to allowing free thought, if others get upset, so be it, it's for them to get over it. Often why people get upset is that the truth hurts so they never actually talk about it themselves or they are by nature inferior and seek compassion by taking sides, it never works, they all eventually die lonely. We don't have to make sense of a great deal in life for we do not have to engage with others ideals, morals, perceptions etc, as long as we keep ourselves in tow and others similarly then the sum of the greater usually wins the day, and fortunately most people adhere to a commonality of good. Logic is a good baseline in life, often people action deeds based on temporary emotions then realise afterwards how pathetic they were at the time but then it's too late. Great statesmen can "see" the difference and utilise appropriate rhetoric to put their points across most people don't have that ability, similarly many politicians don't either unfortunately. There is however a case for tempering logic with emotional tack, as logic often is cold and at times ruthless and whilst on paper it may all work well in reality the physicality of actions often flounder because the humanitarian traits are not taken into account.

We need to understand where our thoughts come from that they are accurate and not just something thrown together based upon biased news from the media or a viral video on YouTube. We need to focus aptly upon ourselves to make sure that we are OK not selfishly but accurately and that our lives are important and not the hub of some plan organised by the government or other heartless body. If it doesn't make sense then you have two options it either isn't accurate or you can't grasp what the bigger picture is all about, and it maybe that you don't understand either. The worst thing you can do however is to make an opinion up just for the sake of it because that will stick with you. If you don't know or prefer not to say then so be it, there's no one who can force you only yourself or your lack of self esteem that makes you feel a lesser person and that should never happen. You are totally entitled to be who you are, even if you are wrong, no one is right all the time ever. If you can't make sense of anything either seek "expert" help / opinion, or move on, but don't deliberate on ignorance as that will throw you into a scenario that clouds both your life and your whole integrity.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

WORLD SEGREGATION

Whatever your belief, your understanding, your knowledge, your grasp on life there's always more, there's always that bit extra that you don' know of or what doesn't rest comfortably within so you tend to skirt over it and peddle the other stuff that more easily flows off the tongue or the pen. Then of course there is the self bias too, and your religious leanings they have a lot to do with your stability and failure rate, and some of the biggest religions have the biggest predominance of instability and failure, no guesses here. It's important that one understands too where life is taking us otherwise like the vast majority they will just follow and fail then blame everyone else like happens in the Middle East and much of Africa where hysteria is a part of life. It's almost as if wholesale happiness has been eradicated by religion that supports no one and that their God never ever helped anyone ever and where they have less success than all others in the world, they don't deserve it yet bring it on themselves. Believing in something that never happens isn't a way of life it's a sad indictment to indoctrination and nothing more. It also has resolutely massive drawbacks as the world speeds up, and believe what you like things are going to get far worse for many, even if initially nothing will seem to dramatically happen. But like many an illness it's there for a long time until it all of a sudden strikes and then sadly it's all too late.

Even in Western countries there will be enormous changes and structural disruption especially with many migrant families for if integration isn't on their agenda and they seek the status of misplaced persons, i.e. foreigners of identity living in another country then doom will be their only reception in life and the option to do a U turn will not be available as no one will want to know. Chances need to be taken when expedient not when one feel they have the luxury to suite themselves. Life does not carry passengers, nor does it suffer fools, egotists, religious or political stupidity. Whilst our climate is going through a new metamorphosis as it has done many times before, what's happening now is nothing new even if it's outlined to be a man made event. Much of the bias towards global warming and carbon offsetting and the like is commercially and politically backed and will result in the usual corruptness that's self created and failure and mayhem will result. It's not that we shouldn't be better placed and cleaner it's like everything else it's usually left to the incompetent and narrow to do what others don't want to do.

The global political speak of integration is but a facade and rifts, segregation, splitting apart, isolation, multi-level partitions, etc are already taking place by those that can and do and those that don't and can't. There is a definite shift to enlightenment in life a feeling of greater understanding and a knowledge of what 'it's' all about even if it takes into account a degree of a lack of complex understanding also. Evolution isn't a pretty picture outlined by school teachers at primary school, nor New Age Evangelists, nor whet Religious freaks who say what they think they ought to say as apart to what is expedient. It's all about being yourself today more than ever before as that will by default separate you out and allow you to further your cause without the dross of others who want to stifle and control and the inept politically correct who have no purpose in life at all. Blame doesn't have a place in life, even if there is truth in what it purports to be, blame isn't an answer that has impetus to going forward, what's done has been done progress is either moving onwards or rectifying what has happened to a degree, the past cannot be reversed but it can be forward amended. 

Celebrating individuality in today's society is a way or reducing unity, and to celebrate for the sake of it is a profoundness of diminished responsibility by those who have very little vision, understanding and foresight. It produces isolated individuals and communities that are less likely to integrate, to hold on to old ways, to feel negatively different and not be able to communicate with everyone else efficiently, it will separate out to produce outcasts and 'looked down upon' people many of whom will never recover the psychological onslaught. Celebrating diversity is fine for the educated but for third world immigrants they will come from one third world environment to creating another in the west and that will result in a massive "us" and "them" which is in evidence now. Enlightenment is the only way forward, but as politicians are themselves unenlightened little hope of that exists and for the main it will all only get worse in the foreseeable future.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 137 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

HAVING AN AFFAIR

The last time I wrote something on the topic "Affairs" I had the highest number of blog hits ever and still it's getting read and still I get correspondence from it. The many years I've been travelling around the world in my professional capacity I have been got at / approached / boldly faced / cornered / set up / asked out to dinner /enticed to pool parties / weekend homes / enticed into situations or just a corner where people have to tell me about the affair they have had or the "fling" that they have had. It weights so heavily that they go to great lengths to want to tell all and at times it's all on for them to stop them telling me the whole gory details, and yes some actually have DVD's of the whole thing too. It was almost a "Father Confessor" role by default which one shudders at. And with modern technology imagination is left uncompromised it's there in all its glory, although it's something I don't need to see to be conversant with what's just happened or indeed still going on. The trails on mobile devises are the foods Divorce Lawyers or newspapers feed upon.  Many people are quite reticent about discussing their story and details but feel that for their sake they just must tell someone otherwise it's too much to bear to live with for the rest of their lives. The bottom line is that over 90% of people who have had an affair have deeply regretted it, and still years after have within them guilt that they either can't shift or just frightened that they will blurt out something pertaining to it and ruin what they have got. I still have thoughts to this day from certain prominent people that "I wish they hadn't told me that", but they did such is their desire to 'cleanse' themselves of the endless thoughts about it all.

There are cultures and ethnic groups that are known for having affairs but then it tells on their culture that it never actually gets very far because of it. Society has "moral values" and regardless of what ones personal opinions are on that subject, it generally makes a great deal of difference when it comes to family life, trust, respect, education, perception by other people and the future generations that have little self esteem as there was none or little in the home life. When that breaks down crime rises in all areas. The biggest trust bond that people ever make as a rule is that when they have a committed relationship, not the one where you just shack up together because you like each other, the sex is great and it's convenient - for a while. It's the committed relationship whereby you love your partner so much you want to spend the rest of your life with him / her regardless of your job or current circumstances. Anything less always leads to less hence many people in the media are born failures where relationships are concerned.

Most affairs start because they can, we are always going to meet someone somewhere at some point in some situation in our lives that's going to raise a sparkle and renew who we were or bring out what was either dormant or possibly thought lost. The heart starts to beat like no tomorrow and the adrenalin and everything else just elevates the whole sensual system in the body including the mind that ones outlook is taken beyond the present to something more palatable even if it's all transient and ends up quite the opposite. Affairs are not just the confines of sluts, lonely people of a certain age or loose morals, they can happen to anyone anytime, even the most sedate person has feelings and at times our whole mind structure is in need of 'something' to enhance from what is to what should be as the self seems almost oblivious of how to affect such a change. Affairs are deceitful there's no getting away from it, it's often not pre-meditated nor is it engineered other than locating a base for the liaison and at times it's not even the sexual conclusion that's the bit that causes the excitement it's actually meeting someone in an almost clandestine way and being able to communicate and importantly laugh which is just so therapeutic. Most affairs start when laughter is no longer an aspect of life, it doesn't mean that love has flown out of the window but real laughter and a sharing of each other has become robotic and that's when those inner stirrings start to rise often subliminally. However you may be the actual cause yourself of your own affair and as to why this situation has arisen so don't jump to conclusions and immediately blame your partner.

We all know the consequences of what an affair can do even if we have never entertained that aspect of life ourselves. Some get over it, some never get over it and some just go on endlessly like headless chickens wandering aimlessly thinking about that 'other' person out there who is better than the current one. Completely selfishly orientated and never able to give of them selves, always holding back for something better which never materialises. But in our world of "all about me" there is no such thing as "they / he / she made me do it", you did it via your own thought process, and there is no back up to justify it whatsoever (if you don't like the relationship get out of it). There are no counsellors, coaches, shrinks or whatever that will properly justify your action to make you feel better. Whatever you have done you have done on your own, the first touch, the first kiss the first moment of sex it was you who did it no one else did it on your behalf. Unless you make a habit of gross infidelity - and some do - then if you don't face up to it you will forever reap the rearing of unsavoury after effects by always being on your guard and it will show when you are nervous or with other people. Your life is in your hands, your partner failures are your judgement not theirs, if you have endless failures YOU are the common denominator in every one no one else. Always looking for something better will guarantee that you'll always be on the edge in life and as soon as the shine starts to dull, that will be your Achilles heal.
(Part 2 to follow - soon)....

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)

VACANT AWARENESS

Have you noticed more and more that many people are seemingly living in a parallel world of their own, they just seem not be "with it" or aware of their immediate surroundings. Sometimes there are genuine reasons for this such as the personal stereo players that automatically reduce ones ability to be fully knowledgeable of their immediate presence, it even stops people walking in straight lines if you notice such. Ones guidance systems are reduced and the listener tends to wander around more randomly than the average person who is not hooked up to piped distractions. The mobile phone is another where people either stop dead or just lose their ability to comprehend others around them and thus become objects in a crowd where their senses and reactions are almost all linked to the calls they are making or receiving. It's even worse when people are taking calls in their car as their ability to function using indicators or even gears if manually geared are substantially reduced as is their situational understanding in relation to other cars, pedestrians and the environment too.

Many people develop the "glance syndrome" whereby they perpetually keep looking at their mobile phone to see if they have received a text or a missed call or some news update. This also substantially reduces ones ability to concentrate and thus impedes both work and personal thought, it can in some situations regarding work reduce the high level of concentration that one needs to adequately fulfil what is required of them.  Years ago people were restricted in using company phones, after all your time is paid for for your work and with the exception of the odd call for dentist / doctor that was it. Today the mobile phone can be intrusive and for some they get withdrawal symptoms so used are they to being welded to their phone for fear of missing out on events that never happen. (Just in case syndrome). It's not even uncommon today for the very young especially to text their friends with messages even if they are sat next to each other. There is nothing wrong with this as such until the phone is withdrawn then they feel stressed that their level of conversational activity is reduced, it isn't but it's a feeling that overcomes them.

There is of course another vacant form (one of many) but a common form of seeing people around you looking dazed and in fact being vacant, withdrawn into themselves, not quite 'out of it' yet verging on the edge of not quite being fully conversant with life and living on the periphery so as not to fully entering into it. It's a world of grossly cultivated self thought, almost like an "old record" that's stuck in a groove and perpetually going around and around. Many people especially the single and over thirty live perpetually in this world as they find life isn't from their perspective what it should be and thus hypothesise and concoct a life within. For others they actually get used to "flipping in" and "flipping out" of this world, some with great ease that one moment they are conversing on a mutual topic next moment they are in their own little world of endless conjecture that constantly swirls around, and at times goes to war with itself. It can be both comforting and unsettling at the same time, but one thing is for sure it's not conducive to a happy life ahead.

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© John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

LIFE'S TRIBULATIONS

Everyday someone somewhere is going through an ordeal of a magnitude that they would never have dreamt of, it doesn't just happen to a few but encompasses millions of people across the planet. It matters not what it is, medical, financial, relationship, poverty, tsunamis, etc, it is what it is and it taxes the self to enormous lengths. How we cope differs from person to person and how we deal with life and look upon life, after all it's part of our personal evolution and it will have a place in our lives whether we like it or not. Whether we make a shrine to it and carry it around for time to come as a topic of conversation or whether we place it in our archives as something that just happened at a certain time is down to us. And what we may think is a personal tribulation for others is relatively nothing as compared to what they have been through, endured and come out of the other side to live life yet again. Everything in life is relative and how we see life is relative to our enjoyment, how we embrace life, commune with life and share life makes a difference to our personal presence and whom we choose to have around us or possibly who chooses to be around us, hereby lies a big difference. Most people are themselves the biggest problem they will ever face how we think things through or reason with life and all its foibles comes from one solitary place, the mind. Our thoughts are unique even if they at times concur with those of others. If we choose to imitate or copy others that's a choice we have made, if it's the wrong choice we are to blame not those we followed, taking ownership is paramount to a really full enjoyment of life at every level.

Life takes no prisoners nor holds any ace cards nor warrants any favourites, whatever we do or encounter is exactly what it is. We are at the helm of our own ship and thus we have to steer it, if we don't we will end up floating randomly and where we end up is anyone's guess. We can't apportion blame nor fairness to anything as we must be in control of ourselves regardless of the circumstances which are always subject to change. Intellectual conjecture is stuff TV programmes are made of for entertainment not a key faculty for managing life. Within the pathway ahead are two crucial areas, love and associated happiness for if we are devoid of either our purpose and feeling of being wanted is lost, at which point everything loses its meaning. The God factor is significant in many lives even if the God they are worshipping doesn't exist because as it gives that "after life" understanding that makes paving the way here on earth a worthwhile cause, even if it's rough and unjust. The atheists will die and be confined to dust as forgotten and as a transient entity without any purpose and certainly no after life anyway.

Every individual is a success, failure is something that has been conjured up by the media and the narrow to apportion credentials that are not of their own volition and thus make a statement at something that is far beyond their own comprehension. Sadly many choose to see success as something tangible, yet for many getting through the life they have been delivered is more than a success it's a tribute to their own stamina and determination and strong will. Many so called successful people have gained an asset upon which they are judged but at the end of the day it all means nothing as life is an attitude which is a free spirit and definitely not linked to any religion nor commercial enterprise. Dealing with life no matter what is very personal even though some like to share it with everyone they come across, which in reality makes things worse as they then build a scenario with gravitas and that's then an entity in the mind whereas before it was just a problem to be solved.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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© John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

THE ENERGY WITHIN

Life comes in cycles, however each cycle is quite different in that the substance of life in between the last cycle has changed considerably more so now as technology is coming on leaps and bounds even in just the space of a year. We look back and laugh at the 60's and what people wore and the technology, similarly the 70's and 80's and now it's all of a melding of retro and futuristic mixed with nostalgia and tradition all stirred together in a pot of life to produce items and experiences to hopefully elevate our lives. It's this surge of advancement that has left so many people bereft of love, understanding and potential for the future. It's this homogenising of society and within it a breakdown never experienced before of terrorism, which is predominantly Islamic, cultural breakdown, politically correct stupidity, and an unease with young people as to what life is all about causing unrest and for the less intelligent street gangs.

One can see especially on the Internet that there are springing up a whole plethora of groups / individuals / organisations / societies that are keen to put us in touch with our 'higher selves', whatever that is, maybe it's something a bit kinky like a mirror on your bedroom ceiling so you can see yourself at a higher position, who knows? Whatever it is these people have no more connection with life or any other entity or energy than yourselves, even if they have a more calmer outlook, that's self control more than any divine power or knowledge, and there's nothing new here. There is a market however for relaxation and some companies actively engage in this, most are understandably city based as it costs money but never the less it's out there. The companies that indulge in office massage techniques by outside firms are very few and far between and overall it solves nothing, it's just putting a plaster on the problem. Whilst massage can be very beneficial it doesn't solve the root cause as to why everyone has gotten so hyper in the first place. But when finance and ignorance and PR come together, ineptitude is often the resultant and shows considerably as such.

There is without a doubt considerable energy around us both natural and man made. We all know of static electricity when we get a shock from touching something or our sweaters crackle at times when we take them off. Our mobile devices receive energy in the form of radio signals to make and receive our calls as does our sat nav, tv and a whole host of other things like our auto car lock, and TV controls, we just can't get away from it. And from recent disasters we know of high levels of radiation too that whilst we can't see it have devastating consequences especially over time with regards mutating our genes etc. So we need to be selective as to what we call up and try to access with all this "higher self" and "consciousness" and "spirituality", as there are many quacks and charlatans and weirdo's out there who have lost the plot before they have even started. Many on the weird scale from 1 - 10 have already hit the 8 mark if not some beyond 10.

There is also a satanic energy out there and that is very real and many have succumbed to it inadvertently in the search for "higher things" whatever that is to the individual. There are also many religions that are evil based and although they talk of love and goodness do no such thing when it comes to 'walking the walk', the followers never have good things from their God but endless misery and it shows mega-time. Everyone who believes is precious about their faith not wishing to understand that if it isn't real what's left, that's only something that they can come to terms with themselves or feel that what's currently on offer doesn't work but daren't change, it's back to fear again. Fear is the antithesis of love, but believing that is something else as so many are used to thinking fear.

It's not to say that many who go on courses to find their "higher self" don't get some benefit, we can all learn at any age, although many of the people who attend these courses are 30+ and single and predominantly female, but not exclusively. Loneliness and isolation and sadness and mild depression often get confused with the thought that life holds more but it just can't be accessed so therefore it must be of a "high energy" etc, which is rubbish. It's also that elusive feeling that there are 'secrets' out there that have the answers and accessing your "higher self" or whatever it is you want to access will bring one much closer to the reality of happiness. It won't ever, even if one enjoys the experience of learning and meeting like minded fellow lost souls to exchange views and aspects of getting older more cranky and still lonely, if nothing else it passes the time. Our own energy levels are directly related to whom we are as a person, so our physical and mental health are what we make them by and large. Going "overboard" is almost as bad as doing nothing in that we get out of one encumbrance and shift to another, so in the end we end up with a slightly different but contrite perspective that gets us no further or at least see that what we have done still hasn't quelled the inner pang for that illusive 'higher self' which you have already, but if you could actually access it - then what? You haven't a clue?

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012