Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts

Saturday, 10 March 2012

LONELINESS, SOBRIETY AND INNER PEACE

There is almost in epidemic proportions today a degree of loneliness which is sweeping through the lives of many people and it's causing them a great deal of concern and consternation as they can't either fathom or understand why it is they are feeling the way they do. Similarly many people are feeling isolated or are having problems with regards meaningful personal relationships, they have possibly many friends or more accurately acquaintances but the depth of how they interact it tersely, usually at a distance like we interact with many on Facebook from afar. We can discuss quite deep and quite meaningful topics on both Facebook and Twitter yet it all means nothing as it's for many an outlet of hollow proportions and empty feelings, empathy is probably as far as we get to that proverbial 'hug', but it's seldom more as everyone has a life of their own and it's not something distance nor a public display of feelings renders itself as sincere even if it is possible meant as such.

Loneliness falls predominantly into three categories, those who are housebound or locationally isolated, although many aren't lonely as they have good people around them, those that self isolate themselves via selfish motives and excuses - which accounts for the majority, and those who have relatively good and busy lives and yet feel literally lonely - where those around them and life just doesn't quench that inner feeling. Loneliness from the outset may not seem as debilitating as many an illness or condition that some have, yet from loneliness can stem illness itself, paranoia, delusions, narrow thoughts, isolation, reclusiveness, lost love, lost hope, lost peace, lost humanitarian instincts, lost communicational skills, gross selfishness - which is a big problem, and getting into a rut so deep and entrenched that it's almost impossible to get out of.

Our inner peace is a great aspect of our life, it's nothing to do with our desire to get on or create or our ambition, it's all about us and how we feel, it's that personal. It has nothing to do with getting the latest gadget or designer clothes those desires actually fill us with a degree of inferiority as we feel we need them to enhance our 'self' whereas we don't, even if they prove useful or attractive. So many people let themselves down to their own emotions and then wonder why things aren't as they would really want. Not only does letting ourselves down eventually show, we become deceptive to others and ourselves as our desire consumes much of our thoughts and our will to do things often creates our failure as we then overlook aspect of work or life based upon our greed for an end result, which is often never as anticipated as it's negatively constructed.

Inner peace for the fickle and ignorant isn't worth much, why waste your time on inner peace when there are material things to do to take our mind off of life. Inner peace to the lonely doesn't happen they make sure of that, being precious, conceited and selfishness puts paid to ever finding what would really make them happy. Inner peace to those that one "would think" should be far from lacking in that department is an idealistic view of what you are as a person and where your real priorities lie and neither co-join. Our attitude very much determines who we are and how we walk through life, none of this stupid "self help" or pathetic "finding happiness" when it's not lost. Where failure really makes it's name a house hold entity is when everyone goes out looking for something that they carry around with them, thinking that solutions and answers are with other people. Of course other people don't possess what you have already within you so can't help even if the solitary experience is uplifting, it doesn't last. It's like having a glass or two of scotch and all seems well, but then tomorrow it's all worn off and nothing has changed.

Loneliness makes one precious and introverted in thinking, tiredness is also an aspect that lonely people get used to and forever feel they need their sleep, which is usually a cop out to being bored and a lack of stimulating thought, although it could in some manifest as insomnia. Communing with life is essential but like everything in life it's quality not quantity, and not going to mix with other lonely people to exchange the same views on the same subjects as if exchanging notes knowing that it will lead to nought in the end. Love is a big aspect with lonely people, they often feel the need for it yet are fearful of it taking a hold of them for some reason and that it might just change their solitary and calculated lifestyle where they lose control to an additional input, which would never do. The Catch-22 which often exists in their lives is one which they get used to and the option of not making a commitment is one which is usually taken in preference, even if invitations are accepted for events or holidays, it's still the lone wolf trying to acquiesce to the herding instinct and never quite comes off.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

Friday, 10 February 2012

FAILED RELATIONSHIPS

The incidence of mental unrest in relationships is at an all time high, it matters not what religion you subscribe to, what doctrine you wish to understand nor where you live, although that has other effects upon your thought patterns. In life there is one common denominator and that is yourself, so if you have failed at many things time and time again including relationships then you are the point of commonality in the whole thing. Don't blame circumstances, situations, conditions, or 'it just didn't work out', etc, you are the common denominator in the whole shebang. There's none of this "well you're lucky" or "I just don't seem to meet the right people" it doesn't exist. What you did, find, enacted upon, joined into, might have been wrong, flawed, incorrect, etc, but you went into it, and seemingly have done so time and time again. How, why, is another matter but taking the leap into doing what you did for it to fail yet again outlines to everyone else that somewhere down the line there isn't that intelligent connection that's seeing possibilities which come to light as if almost in a recurring manner. Not dissimilar to the "battered wife" syndrome.

Of course failure isn't as bad a situation in some areas as we seem to make out, scientists often fail for years trying to do something and it not working out until one day that 'eureka' moment hits them. Many people are alive today because of the constancy of pushing forward over and above failure in researching pharmaceuticals. Similarly with engineering and science life is often trial and error and even in accidents we learn what not to do or how better to modify the service or product for future betterment. Failure can make us stronger and wiser and give us a degree of personal wisdom over and above that which we could learn from just every day life.

Our relationships span a multitude of levels in life from one with ourselves, do we love ourself? To those with significant others, friends, family, work colleagues, to those who we meet in the shopping mall, services and other intermediaries. Some people walk around with an almost permanent smile and face life as it is whether or not they receive any reciprocation from others is immaterial. Others walk around with a glum dull face and if anyone smiles at them they get unnerved and even upset wondering what the catch is, such is their low debased and insular nature. How we view life is how we live it, the better we are at looking good the more help and encouragement we get from others and the more respect we tend to get too. No one likes to help grumpy gruff sloven people, it goes well against the grain both psychologically and morally, it doesn't feel good, and we need a degree of reciprocation in order for us to make additional moves in what we can or will do.

Loneliness for the main part is down to failed relationships with life and the amount of selfishness that's in that thought behind it all. There are those who are forced because of physical and mental conditions to live in an isolated situation, but the vast majority aren't. Selfishness, meanness, laziness, bad attitude are all contributors to loneliness. Failed life relationships are self created, and it matters not whether one is naturally gregarious or reticent, in between all of this is humanity, and if we don't embrace it or we have stilted views or prefer to be biased towards our family or race or creed or whatever then we will sadly and statistically be veering to a life as time goes by to be on our own. People who are on their own tend to have more problems mentally and physically than those with good and constant friends. Whatever you think, whatever excuses you put up, the ball is in your court, no one wants to hear the excuses anymore, if you can't give of yourself you are certainly not going to receive back what humanity has to offer.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012