Saturday 10 March 2012


There is almost in epidemic proportions today a degree of loneliness which is sweeping through the lives of many people and it's causing them a great deal of concern and consternation as they can't either fathom or understand why it is they are feeling the way they do. Similarly many people are feeling isolated or are having problems with regards meaningful personal relationships, they have possibly many friends or more accurately acquaintances but the depth of how they interact it tersely, usually at a distance like we interact with many on Facebook from afar. We can discuss quite deep and quite meaningful topics on both Facebook and Twitter yet it all means nothing as it's for many an outlet of hollow proportions and empty feelings, empathy is probably as far as we get to that proverbial 'hug', but it's seldom more as everyone has a life of their own and it's not something distance nor a public display of feelings renders itself as sincere even if it is possible meant as such.

Loneliness falls predominantly into three categories, those who are housebound or locationally isolated, although many aren't lonely as they have good people around them, those that self isolate themselves via selfish motives and excuses - which accounts for the majority, and those who have relatively good and busy lives and yet feel literally lonely - where those around them and life just doesn't quench that inner feeling. Loneliness from the outset may not seem as debilitating as many an illness or condition that some have, yet from loneliness can stem illness itself, paranoia, delusions, narrow thoughts, isolation, reclusiveness, lost love, lost hope, lost peace, lost humanitarian instincts, lost communicational skills, gross selfishness - which is a big problem, and getting into a rut so deep and entrenched that it's almost impossible to get out of.

Our inner peace is a great aspect of our life, it's nothing to do with our desire to get on or create or our ambition, it's all about us and how we feel, it's that personal. It has nothing to do with getting the latest gadget or designer clothes those desires actually fill us with a degree of inferiority as we feel we need them to enhance our 'self' whereas we don't, even if they prove useful or attractive. So many people let themselves down to their own emotions and then wonder why things aren't as they would really want. Not only does letting ourselves down eventually show, we become deceptive to others and ourselves as our desire consumes much of our thoughts and our will to do things often creates our failure as we then overlook aspect of work or life based upon our greed for an end result, which is often never as anticipated as it's negatively constructed.

Inner peace for the fickle and ignorant isn't worth much, why waste your time on inner peace when there are material things to do to take our mind off of life. Inner peace to the lonely doesn't happen they make sure of that, being precious, conceited and selfishness puts paid to ever finding what would really make them happy. Inner peace to those that one "would think" should be far from lacking in that department is an idealistic view of what you are as a person and where your real priorities lie and neither co-join. Our attitude very much determines who we are and how we walk through life, none of this stupid "self help" or pathetic "finding happiness" when it's not lost. Where failure really makes it's name a house hold entity is when everyone goes out looking for something that they carry around with them, thinking that solutions and answers are with other people. Of course other people don't possess what you have already within you so can't help even if the solitary experience is uplifting, it doesn't last. It's like having a glass or two of scotch and all seems well, but then tomorrow it's all worn off and nothing has changed.

Loneliness makes one precious and introverted in thinking, tiredness is also an aspect that lonely people get used to and forever feel they need their sleep, which is usually a cop out to being bored and a lack of stimulating thought, although it could in some manifest as insomnia. Communing with life is essential but like everything in life it's quality not quantity, and not going to mix with other lonely people to exchange the same views on the same subjects as if exchanging notes knowing that it will lead to nought in the end. Love is a big aspect with lonely people, they often feel the need for it yet are fearful of it taking a hold of them for some reason and that it might just change their solitary and calculated lifestyle where they lose control to an additional input, which would never do. The Catch-22 which often exists in their lives is one which they get used to and the option of not making a commitment is one which is usually taken in preference, even if invitations are accepted for events or holidays, it's still the lone wolf trying to acquiesce to the herding instinct and never quite comes off.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

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