SHOWING YOUR EMOTIONS

We are by default sentient human beings although I think some will throw that in question, never the less it's a mark of a superior being. As a race we are marvellous people, it's only the trappings and conditions that tend to thwart our real ability to grow such as those in the third world and the dearth of religions that restrict life and cause repression as opposed to praising their God and allowing growth. They all suffer who believe in fear and restriction as can be seen by their backwardness in life and the way they have to rely on others to develop what they find incapable of doing themselves. Our emotions are one of the prominent aspects of our lives, we move throughout the whole of our life via an emotional wave, some days it's relatively calm others it's vibrant in every way. It's these which give us our feelings and in turn we feed off of these feelings and react according to how we deem it is expedient. We have within us free will and therefore we have negative emotions too such as envy, greed, jealousy, selfishness, anger, arrogance, etc, and these in turn are linked to how we feel as a person. If we are relatively secure in life then we get on quite well and cope where we have to. If we are not so secure then we readily pick up the negative emotions and feel moody, angry, jealous, etc, and start to use these emotions to our benefit - or so called benefit - to try and get our own way. It's called emotional blackmail and it's the lowest of levels one can almost stoop to. Where people feign tears in order to gain sympathy, be moody in order to try and get their own way and so on. Keep well away from such people and don't ever pamper to their debased thoughts

Many a young "thug" type of person has difficulty in showing emotion, it's almost a "sissy" thing to feel upset, angry yes, but upset or loving - forget it. This misplaced understanding results in a life of trials and tribulations and dares and a whole host of random stupidity, when deep down the onset of real love from anyone that cares is what is most needed. After all with real love - unconditional love - hurt and upset and anger don't come into the equations (back to why some religions are always killing and getting upset - evil doctrines). Governments are useless at such things as their agendas are power based and so when it comes down to emotional remedies they are also thuggish and impotent even if they pretend to understand. Of course societies and cultures play a big part in how we grow up and deal with life, some cultures are fiery and emotionally volatile whilst others are more controlled and think before they act. Some of the Eastern cultures are the worst in that they make a Hollywood drama out of anything as a means for others to help them, women there do this exceptionally well, it's all conditioning and religion and is a real far cry from living and life as it should be as it's always an Achilles heal for them. Then we get to the other extremes where manufactured effect is almost de regeur such as the real Hollywood awards where speeches almost turn your stomach over with the whet diatribe they come out with.  

People react to others emotions, we are judged by them, but it doesn't mean that someone who goes ape like has more feeling than someone who remains calm and stands their ground, it's often the latter that has more compassion and less theatrical selfishness. There is a time and a place and what the outward signs are don't always reflect the inner state. We tend to veer towards those that share our emotional position in life, it makes us feel more secure and in control and enables a more stable stance in life regardless of whatever happens. We can all cry with tears of joy or sadness a development of extreme emotion in both cases, some are more susceptible than others, and there's no detriment to ANYONE who sheds a tear, it's a natural part of yourself and something that one should never be ashamed of. However back to the "thug" scenario, the personal shame of being emotional or selectively emotional, whereas if they were real stable solid humans they would just be themselves and not live behind a facade that's unreal and designed to repress, a state of human failure. We can more often than not even with someone we don't know see through feigned emotions or those who enhance their joy or grief to effect self notice, selfishness has no limits and we can feel within those who are genuine and those who 'put it on', the emotional vampires always seeking others energy. It's good to show emotions as it's good to look good, it reflects who you are and the sincerity of who you are too. Never emulate others, don't cry at a funeral if you can't, don't laugh if you don't think it's funny, but do either if appropriate as and when it affects you, you're not on trial nor do you need approval or acceptance from anyone. Be yourself and allow the inner you to blossom.  

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

PASSING PHASES

For everyone life is full of ups and downs, we don't need to be reminded of that, at times life goes swimmingly well and then it changes to something else, not necessarily bad or worse but like you've just been grounded and almost treading water as nothing seems to materialise or move forward in the way or ways you would like or have indeed anticipated. However if you just accept and feel low when the good times appear to stop then you will have succumbed to a nothingness of our own creation. Everything has a shelf life or best before date including ourselves so it stands to reason that aspects in life have the same, just because we don't want good or nice things to come to an end is immaterial and a bit stupid also. The fear of things going wrong isn't a valid fear as if fear is valid at all, but it's not even worthy of contemplation as it leaves room for instability to take hold. It's funny that at times when things are going well people become complacent as it all seems nice and bubbly, then when it stops they become remorseful and take on that "woe is me" attitude to varying degrees. Whereas we should be vigilant at all times so that the ups and downs are evened out somewhat and we can then best enjoy the good times and not have to endure the not so good times.

The worst thing we can do is forever compare ourselves or circumstances or situations to others, none of it is relevant, and if the opportunity to do what others do or did comes along it would never manifest itself the same way, in fact you would be surprised at the reaction you have should you ever be faced with such choices and availability. Our assumptions in some area  of life are so crass that we deem we "know" ourselves but often perceptions and the reality of affordable or doable choice takes the potential excitement out of literally doing it as we can then see beyond simple areas or mere acquisitions that were once on our "wish list" and move to more tangible areas that can provide more substance both physically and mentally. Many people let themselves down badly and protract a dullness in life through the sheer desire to want or do something which once gotten is placed in the "OK" box in the mind and then they wander on to something else and whilst it may be nice to have it doesn't further their inner self to satisfaction or happiness.

Every area of our life is a phase, it's either work, relationship, financial, age related and it's never ever the same. Maturity quells for most people desires that were strong when young but mean little later on. As life progresses one also notes that the 'self' is more important than following others who if died wouldn't make the slightest difference to life except those around them but not you. It's not that degrees of selfishness take a hold it's the importance and trivia that separates out what is indeed pertinent to your life after all you are the only one to steer your ship no one else. It also doesn't mean you can't follow your favourite sports person or whatever, it's just a perspective that puts you more firmly in charge and allows you to balance your emotions accordingly which has an elevatory effect. If we can't do things for ourselves no one can, even if they assist us greatly it's still us that has to walk the walk and talk the talk.

If you feel that life has becalmed you worry not as that is the worst thing you can do, worry has the effect of neutralising creativity and acting as a magnet for a whole array of negativity which is the last thing you need. Being positive even in the face of adversity is the answer to shaking off both the blues and what is ahead of you that's of no consequence. Positive attitudes attract positive people so if you are on a sympathy trip you've lost, and don't take to heart what others are perceivably doing and you are not, you don't know what they have gone through or are indeed going through either, which could be ten times worse than yourself. If you want to succeed at anything you have to exude it otherwise people will not trust you respect you nor think you are worthy either. So much is in your own hands that thinking everything is at the mercy of others will eliminate any opportunity that's there, people need people, the good and successful need people to keep good and successful it just doesn't happen in isolation. You too can be good and successful there's no reason why not, unless you think there is then it's all back down to you.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others

BEING BITCHY & SCEPTICAL

It seems almost de regeur today to post some bitchy remark or be super sceptical about a situation or an emotional event, it attracts people like bees to a honey pot, it attracts more bitchy and sceptical people in greater proportion than just about anything else. Each person almost racing to add their ten cents worth of personal comment to bolster what has already gone before them and with an air of personal smugness as if to say "it happened to me" - which it may well have done. But what it goes to show is that whatever happened to the person who has commented is still alive and kicking and despite their phraseology and false smiles they are a part of their own problem and want to keep it alive to see if they can get some recompense in doing so. They won't and in fact the fact that they have just commented goes to show that all is not well in their overall ideology of life nor have they gotten over past incidents (never their fault always someone else's). It's often not what we say but how we say something that outlines whom we are, if it still has twinges of acerbic thought it will very often smack of still hurting relationship problems, loneliness and life not quite the way it should be. Even if the "I've gotten over it now and I'm a better person" image is one that's put forward, plastering over cracks doesn't cure what's underneath, not that there is often anything to go over it's just a prevailing attitude.

Those that are perpetually sceptical about life and all that's in it we need to keep well away from as they are usually "emotional vampires" draining us of our energy for their own pleasure, those that are perpetually bitchy we should do likewise as that denotes someone who is untrustworthy and not quite as stable as they should be and also has a high degree of selfishness too. It doesn't denote that they are bad people and there is a vast difference between those who are naturally 'quick witted' and those that have to turn others comments and situations on their head as a statement of their own view point, which we can always do without because it's negative and negativity leads to negativity when even worse things beset and befall us. Being bitchy can be fun to listen to initially then it starts to pall as it then cross cuts through all that is good and wonderful and negates the happiness trail that everyone strives towards. The bitchy and sceptical try their best to tell you that their pathetic past is over, but reality is it still lives on, and they tell you that you have to be careful at all times and that you will find what they say will come true and all that diatribe. It's an excuse to see others hurt to make themselves feel better otherwise why would anyone suggest gloom and doom as a way of life, is there something so wrong with themselves that they actually have a degree of "hatred" within them? And who knows they could have been the instigators of their own downfall and you really don't need advice from anyone like that.

Life is a one-way stream, it goes forward, and dragging the past with you only hinders any progress which subliminally others pick up on it to feel that 'all is not that well' despite often outward signs of smiles, but it is really the 'wolf in sheep's clothing' that one sees as the vocality doesn't match the inner self. Comments on Facebook abound with 'predominantly' women voicing off past deeds which for most they would rather keep where they are in the past and enjoy the potential of both the present and hopefully better promise of the future. Reflections of ourselves manifest in ways which if we are not careful outline who we really are, and that the facade we try to put on is but that a facade of deceit which has undercurrents of a not so savoury thought process and one which is subject to constant change and fluctuation. If one feels that relationships, loneliness, life not so hot is because of circumstances then think again, it's not. We are part of life, which part is up to you. Situations and circumstances can change in an instant but we all have full control over ourselves 24/7 and our emotions. If we choose to be bitchy and sceptical as a base then don't ever expect things to change for the better, as those you seek which yet you have to find will steer a wide berth around you. If your friends aren't so good then it's because you've chosen like minded people who also reflect your self and again like you cannot be trusted 100% as selfishness will be a number one issue in their heart.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

THE POSITIVE YOU....

With negativity being peddled all around by the media and the fickle in heart, why is it that some people are always buoyant and bubbly whilst others are always dull and seek to find excuses and failures in society. The bottom line is that what we say think and emanates from within our mind, nowhere else, it's something of our own creation, it's a product of our thought process and it's our copyright. Whether we choose to repeat or reiterate others statements, follow the crowd, swear and be angry, be violent, be deceitful, be moody, be dishonest, and a whole host of other things it's ourselves who chooses all these stances no one else. We have a veritable choice of ways and ideals that we can call upon to steer our ship in life, how we view life is the destination that we will choose to make the journey towards. The predominantly negative will forever have obstacles ahead of them, bouts of frequent lowness and perhaps mild depression. The negative will see life from a pure stance of "I don't know" and thus never see the ways out or the outlets or the opportunities that abound. The more one dwells on negativity the more one will flounder in life. The negative only see negativity and latch on to it, they view those that aren't negative as "fortunate" and thus absolve themselves of being lazy, thoughtless, selfish (and selfishness here plays a big part - most negative people by default are selfish).

The positively minded people see everything, the good, the bad and the indifferent and can see within all of those areas where people are in themselves, which is why they keep positive. They don't apportion blame nor do they seek to oust those who do well nor dwell in the company of the negatively minded, as there's no point, they have nothing to offer, in fact negative people are often emotional vampires sucking the energy of those that are positive. Positively minded people generally have better health, a better social life, a better outlook and acceptance in life, make less excuses as to why things are because they know there's a solution within as to rectifying that thought, and in all are always open to suggestions, ideas, new ways, and increasing their lot.  The negative on the other hand are full of excuses, full of "poor old me" and "it's not fair" and "I've tried everything" which is a mind that's stuck in a groove that forever rotates around itself.

Positive people make decisions, sometimes wrong ones but they make decisions, the negative people procrastinate and make up scenarios that only exist within their mind and become fearful. Negative people can't believe in God even if they purport to do so as God should give you the strength and purpose to be positive. In  all negativity is the evilness of your own creation as it doesn't come from anywhere else. And if one has to reiterate the words "how can you be positive when all around is bad" or something similar then you have stated your case and are acting upon a life of substandard thought and are almost useless to yourself, completely lacking in self esteem and self respect. There should be Government Health warnings saying "CAUTION- NEGATIVE PEOPLE CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR WELLBEING".  We don't have to accept what others say that doesn't resonate with us, and similarly if any of our family or work colleagues are negatively inclined we can opt out from as much contact as we can only interfacing as and when required. Fuelling negativity isn't smart as it does no one any good.

For more www.thelifedoctor.info
Free "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012