THE FUN AND JOY IN LIFE

Everything in life is a matter of balance, it's also a culmination of our take on life too, which incorporates our thoughts, feelings, understanding and those horrible elements negative emotions that include, greed, jealousy, anger, envy, ego, arrogance, you know them all only too well. It's the latter that sets our threshold on how we enjoy life and are able we are to laugh. It's not logic unfortunately that sets the terms even though it should be to a large extent, coupled with a sprinkling of sheer and outright positivity, it's those negative thoughts that wade in and pull us down. We know when we are with friends that we can laugh at almost anything and do, the silliest thing or personal comments about others or whatever it is bodes well for lots of laughter we feel comfortable, ourselves and for a few moments life's stresses and strains fade into insignificance, where they should be. However time goes by and we are soon back on our own pathway and the laughter seems an age away even if only a matter of hours in reality. We come across, financial stresses, work related problems or loss of work, we see outside events that encompass our lives by default, they are not invited but enter anyway, and we see parameters change before our eyes which destabilises us no end.

But over and above all of these things we can laugh, we can enjoy life, we can commune and we can go forward. We are still the masters of our own destiny and if we controlled our thoughts as opposed to letting them control us we would with immediate effect elevate ourselves to a level where life would take on a new meaning and we would see elements and routes and pathways that before eluded us. It's not that all our problems would suddenly vanish but we would be in pole position to life and not a default follower that looks forlorn and withdrawn seeking only highlights to make the bits in between worthwhile. Fun and joy exist every day no matter where you are but if one is to enjoy it all there has to be that conduit to enjoyment that's common to all parties. If someone is not going to laugh at something because they think that the situation that they are in doesn't warrant it then they are forcing unhappiness on themselves. Many people have this pathetic and misplaced thought and ideology that if something is wrong or not going well they can't laugh, or at a funeral they can't smile or indeed laugh even if it's sharing good moments of the past of the deceased, this is a stupid fallacy and self created situation that has neither merit nor logic. And as to the thought "what will others think" whose life are you living yours or theirs? Never bring yourself down or make yourself drab for the sake of others there's no respect or disrespect in that at all it's third world twaddle for low minded people and failures.

The lightness of life the bit that gives us meaning and purpose is akin to being able to see more than one side of anything and that includes any humorous elements or those element within those that work with us. People who can generally laugh are more honest and trustworthy than those that can't or don't, they are more creative and strangely enough more Godly too as they see compassion, love and understanding whereas the morbid zealots see evil and malice as the first point of call. Apart from the devised advertisements where people are made to laugh to try and give credibility, smiling and laughing does give one a better opportunity to connect and be open to connection via others especially strangers who know nothing of or about you. Our "shop window" speaks volumes about us if it's bright and warm then it's attractive to most if it's dull then it attracts the few who are predominantly dull too as the rest take one glance and move onwards. Enjoying the moment is the key to life, if we seek enjoyment via something materialistic which would give us fleeting joy or a situation or happening in the future then we 'postpone happiness' confining ourselves to what we are daily living through as just 'ordinary' and as humans we are anything but, or at least most aren't. Choices abound in life and happiness is a choice (yes it is no muttering here) as is to laugh and smile, it comes from within you and nowhere else, so decide where you want to go and and what you want to be and do it. The way you do it will define where you end up. Now make your choice.    

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

THE FEELING OF BEING NEEDED

Our whole stability revolves around who we are as a person and what our value is, that is what keeps us going in a relatively stable way. Loneliness accounts today for much grief, consternation and personal upset in the form that it can make us somewhat disjointed from life, which has psychological implications. Whether we have a significant other or just very good personal friends (real friends not acquaintances) matters not it's how we communicate with them and on what level. Social interaction between others is essential even for those who like to keep themselves to themselves, for being alone is not conducive to a good and rewarding life. As a sentient society we need to commune to share to enjoy and to feel as well as exchange with others aspects of life. In doing so we re-affirm important aspects even if others opinions differs it's the fact that an exchange of conversations that touch us deep down and mean something and that we respect "that" or "those" significant others makes a world of difference. Faced with just ourselves in a world that cares not is akin to an isolation that will eventually cause the mind to be introverted and implode as far as sanity and creativeness is concerned. Ironically many people of a staid and overly religious nature tend to follow in similar pathways harbouring fear, becoming judgemental, rebuking aspects of society with a purposeful and self created venom, start lacking perception, becoming introverted, and all in all become vacuous.

Whatever one's age, the need to be needed to be cared for in as much as someone significant who has an interest in you and your well being even if they can't do anything directly themselves has a massive psychological effect in the way we live. Take this facility away and an almost automatic 'longing' starts to whell up. It varies from person to person but the people who shut themselves off have defined negative points and are often cranky, moodily, intolerable, narrow, spiteful, insular, judgemental,mean, greedy, self defined, etc, to varying degrees. Many people even take on a pet to find solace in life as that pet will give 'unconditional love' something that humans won't do and religious people definitely can't do such is their outlook via their version of God, ironically God being that of unconditional love, strange why that happens. Of course there are ideals in life, get a partner and live blissfully happily ever after, unfortunately that doesn't happen, especially in today's society that when the slightest thing goes wrong it all comes crumbling down as opposed to getting it fixed and enjoying the benefits of a heightened experience in the process. Selfishness and "me" are more of the mark of society today and that puts paid to the base lines in starting something that has longevity written in to it. Many a relationship starts with soiled goods and multiple failures and a wealth of back-up excuses as to why it's never your fault and I did this and they did that and their iPad crammed with help lines on standby to console the selfish soul.

Many put a brave face on their own relationship and well being, often talking of  their 'so called' many friends and acquaintances and those in between too. It's true some people make friends easily others just don't and actually never try, just complain that they are not lucky and it doesn't happen to them, but again they are the cause of that, people still don't come knocking on your door asking if you want a relationship, you have to open it and go out. Even Internet dating sites aren't successful in that a 5% success rate if you are lucky and have to sift through the scammes, liers, cheats, lustful, desperately lonely, weirdos, and those who treat it as an 'on-line sport'. Most successful people have someone behind them who is instrumental be it their partner / friend supporting them getting on and becoming successful. A busy life can help one get on alone, but then when at some point the parameters change there is that 'elasticated effect' when one comes flying back to a nothingness of where yesterday comprised of lots of people all around and today none of them no matter how nice they are don't ring those significant bells within. Our emotional feelings are just so that little things that happen in our life can trigger off thoughts about certain people that we never thought existed or were that deep and can affect us so much.  

One should never spurn the need of another regarding companionship whatever it is for them, even if it's not your idea of such that's not important, it's to each his / her own. The love from one human being to the next is a priceless commodity even if it's your best friend that will do, that's humanity at its best also. Never be afraid of telling someone or people how much they mean to you or how nice they are or whatever complimentary thing you can say. And although some find it incredibly difficult say something just do it and don't fear the worst either. The more you compliment others the better you will feel and the easier it will become and the lighter life will be, even just smiling on a regular basis ups your game in life. There will however be the odd person and they will be odd who can't understand what a good comment is all about or a smile for no apparent reason other than that of a smile from one human being to another. Or those that view kindness or pleasantries as a case of "what do they want from me", but let not others insecurities and patheticness rub off on to you, go your way and smile, be nice and then the hurts which come with the territory will just melt away as the vast majority although they many not say it, will be warmed by your actions. You only have one chance in life, may it pleasant at least.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others

SHARING - THAT FEELING

One of the greatest feelings you can ever have is that of sharing, sharing moments with strangers via a common understanding of whatever has happened or been seen, even without saying a word. Or most deeply heartwarming is that of the sharing of loved ones and friends a part of your life regardless of the incident or situation. Even sharing a moment together of great distress is a moment in reflection of the gratitude of that person being there at that time that helped so much and brought a real presence of what life and humanity is all about. There's nothing better than being able to share your partner, your children, your parents, your very close friends that at times are even closer than relatives. The feeling that you can say and do and confide and be silly (or worse) in their company and laugh it all off because they not only love you but respect you and deep down like to feel that when you share you share, it's not a conditional relationship it's "anything goes" and you both or all lap it all up for what it''s worth. That warm comforting feeling, that almost smug feeling on invincibility that life just can't get better that material values are at those moments just worthless as they are objects without heart or soul.

It's essential to us all that we can share with others for if we don't or can't then it makes us both hard within and forms a mental barrier that hinders our ability to communicate efficiently and with depth. Sharing with pertinent others also allows us to share with those we don't like or don't trust or those who are in effect down right rude to us too, and stops offence being taken as well as getting upset by others saying either deliberately or out of turn things we find distasteful or possibly hurtful. Sharing creates a brighter mind and elevates life shunning out loneliness and selfishness which can be crippling and debilitating for the self and life. Sharing on a humanitarian basis not the sharing which is "all about me" enables productivity, trust, respect, faith, creativity, opportunity, advancement, purpose and an overall feeling of well being regardless of any overall circumstances. People who share are more apt to "read situations" as they are lighter in their minds and can see troubles and others faults far more than those who keep to themselves everything for a whole range of fears about letting go and thus destroying themselves or worse.

But sharing isn't telling everyone everything about you, it's not being that proverbial "open book"  it's allowing others to 'meld' with you, to feel the real truth of life and whatever else transpires needs a high degree of respect and inner value to come forth, which separates those out who are only in life for what they can get themselves, which is usually nothing. Sharing is the bright outlook, a magnet for good things, that almost permanent smile, that look that everything will be OK if you let it and not drag whatever it is around with you seeking pity or worse sympathy (failure). Sharing is that feeling that life contains more than what we see there is a depth to it that fills us with greatness, humility and at times positive direction and uplifting thoughts, it challenges the morbid and opens the flood gates to aspects of life that we never knew existed. But like attracts like and so again the lesser souls of thought get attracted to the lesser souls of thought and continually then wonder why others have the smiles when they perpetually look glum or scornful.

Sharing is not imposing, it's not being a burden, it's not being taken advantage of, it's not being negative, real sharing is a homogeneous aspect of bonding with certain others in life and combining what's naturally inherent, it's that great "oneness" feeling that humans have built within that explodes and causes genuine concern and laughter in the same sentence. That one can speak without premeditated thought and just say it as it comes, it's a real freedom that very little else can qualify the same effect. And for those that make up endless excuses as to why they haven't any friends (and the list is endless) it says more about them than and that sharing is a step too far in their life or indeed vocabulary. If you can't share you can't live life to the full, everything is contrived and excuse ridden and situationally driven as to what value you place on what and if I do this maybe they'll do that, life accounts in life are people who are failures let loose. If it doesn't come from the heart and you have to justify everything or "I did this they did that" attitude then you will always live below what expectation you would wish to enjoy, and the very sad thing is that it's you who has devised that route.  Sharing denotes with a firm presence of love and warmth towards others that's sincere and generous unlike those that have little sharing ability because there is little else within that's of any value or worth.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)