NEW TYPE DEPRESSION (NTD)

What many people are experiencing today is rejection in particular the young, it's not that they aren't any good or what they are doing is of no value or that indeed they haven't got any ability, it's just that they have been challenged by someone and they take personally to heart what has been said, and it's usually out of context. Strangely enough it's often "quite nice people" who tend to "suffer" from this feeling more than anyone else, although it's not exclusive. If you are an "all round" nice guy then you are basically accepted (as a person) wherever you go at whatever level and you tend to interact accordingly, make assessments of the situation at hand and predominantly get some form of feedback whether it's direct or indirect as to your judgement. When you start to get negative feedback or no feedback especially in a work environment even if it's not related to the quality of your work it starts to have a negative resonance and it either sparks an immediate anger or 'bithchy' retort followed by periods of silence (which is usually churning over and over the situation in your mind).  In what I do I seek information and views from others so as to build up views and opinions different to my own, that way I get a better and more informative balance on the subject in hand. It's also a case and I firmly believe one can never know it all and there's always something to learn no matter what even if it's just going though the process yourself.

Recently I was offered a series of sessions (initially one off's) with some "respected" business advisers in "respected" organisations, (which I get offered / becomes available from time to time) and prior to meeting up I had to fill in a questionnaire about a whole series of facts and figures about me, my work, and what I wish to achieve, all of which I can do with great ease now. Never the less I make sure what I put down is pertinent, accurate and with details to my websites / publications / and achievements to date, better too much than too little, you can always press the delete button but there isn't an "add/more" button. Bearing in mind these sessions are not cheap I was eager to learn and interchange ideas, views, and receive possibly new information or concepts about what I was wishing to do,etc.  And what a let down they were. The people concerned were very nice indeed, kind, hospitable, knowledgeable, fun, bright, sharp, and yet I felt so let down, they almost appeared like robots just going through one more client as if we were travelling together on a parallel road but in different cars. I left feeling somewhat "empty" within, and what a waste of time that was. And from the many years I've been in business all over the world there seems to be this type of cold advisory platform that I can well understand how many young people think and can now suffer from (NTD) New Type Depression. I wasn't depressed as in fact I leaned why many people don't respond the way they should and it's predominantly that they are treated "as another client" and there is NO personal inter-relationship, the advisers are not only incapable of it they don't even want to go there as it's too much trouble for them. Yet this is the spark that could kindle untold excitement, positivity and great success. Bog standard information is available all over the place most of it for free but much professional information seems to be governed by cost rather than quality and real client understanding.

 I get bombarded by companies offering conferences, seminars, workshops with supposedly well known names and what they impart, but most of it is disingenuous, subterfuge, and they like whores try to solicit as much as they can from you in return for solving your problems, making you successful, opening doors, raising your marketing game, telling you all about how they make it, and so on. They are so good in fact it's wonder they haven't been nationalised by the government and made compulsory in education so that everyone on planet earth can be as successful and wealthy too. And whilst some of these seminars after being offered at a high price, reduced price, special price, personal knock down price, etc, etc, do have good information it's all down to the 'solubility factor' and not flashy marketing to the endless stream of 'wannabies' attending wanting to up their game from basement to top floor in one go, or worse still looking for those elusive tips that will generate their protege from embryo to full gown in a flash. It never happens, except for real entrepreneurs who already have that in-built kudos to do it themselves. Indeed these marketing organisations are marketing themselves nothing more. Selling a hope like "anti-wrinkle" cream, it's bought to stave off age, but it only works as long as you use it, cures aren't yet developed. If after all your efforts, and your inner deep dream has not been delved into by a "business professional" (and there isn't such a thing as a "one size fits all") don't get alarmed as all the great successes like salmon swim against the tide, aircraft take off against the wind not going with it. If that "so called" master of knowledge hasn't touched all your buttons and you feel let down and cheated, it's because you probably have been. Don't let anyone ever tell you that your dream won't work, the greatest achievers in the world were told that including one President of the USA. Of course we have to be realistic too, but passion for what you want to do will pull you through, and if it turns out that it won't happen because of certain conditions / situations you will veer automatically into an area that will work. It's your story, don't let anyone else write it!!!!

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

THE FUN AND JOY IN LIFE

Everything in life is a matter of balance, it's also a culmination of our take on life too, which incorporates our thoughts, feelings, understanding and those horrible elements negative emotions that include, greed, jealousy, anger, envy, ego, arrogance, you know them all only too well. It's the latter that sets our threshold on how we enjoy life and are able we are to laugh. It's not logic unfortunately that sets the terms even though it should be to a large extent, coupled with a sprinkling of sheer and outright positivity, it's those negative thoughts that wade in and pull us down. We know when we are with friends that we can laugh at almost anything and do, the silliest thing or personal comments about others or whatever it is bodes well for lots of laughter we feel comfortable, ourselves and for a few moments life's stresses and strains fade into insignificance, where they should be. However time goes by and we are soon back on our own pathway and the laughter seems an age away even if only a matter of hours in reality. We come across, financial stresses, work related problems or loss of work, we see outside events that encompass our lives by default, they are not invited but enter anyway, and we see parameters change before our eyes which destabilises us no end.

But over and above all of these things we can laugh, we can enjoy life, we can commune and we can go forward. We are still the masters of our own destiny and if we controlled our thoughts as opposed to letting them control us we would with immediate effect elevate ourselves to a level where life would take on a new meaning and we would see elements and routes and pathways that before eluded us. It's not that all our problems would suddenly vanish but we would be in pole position to life and not a default follower that looks forlorn and withdrawn seeking only highlights to make the bits in between worthwhile. Fun and joy exist every day no matter where you are but if one is to enjoy it all there has to be that conduit to enjoyment that's common to all parties. If someone is not going to laugh at something because they think that the situation that they are in doesn't warrant it then they are forcing unhappiness on themselves. Many people have this pathetic and misplaced thought and ideology that if something is wrong or not going well they can't laugh, or at a funeral they can't smile or indeed laugh even if it's sharing good moments of the past of the deceased, this is a stupid fallacy and self created situation that has neither merit nor logic. And as to the thought "what will others think" whose life are you living yours or theirs? Never bring yourself down or make yourself drab for the sake of others there's no respect or disrespect in that at all it's third world twaddle for low minded people and failures.

The lightness of life the bit that gives us meaning and purpose is akin to being able to see more than one side of anything and that includes any humorous elements or those element within those that work with us. People who can generally laugh are more honest and trustworthy than those that can't or don't, they are more creative and strangely enough more Godly too as they see compassion, love and understanding whereas the morbid zealots see evil and malice as the first point of call. Apart from the devised advertisements where people are made to laugh to try and give credibility, smiling and laughing does give one a better opportunity to connect and be open to connection via others especially strangers who know nothing of or about you. Our "shop window" speaks volumes about us if it's bright and warm then it's attractive to most if it's dull then it attracts the few who are predominantly dull too as the rest take one glance and move onwards. Enjoying the moment is the key to life, if we seek enjoyment via something materialistic which would give us fleeting joy or a situation or happening in the future then we 'postpone happiness' confining ourselves to what we are daily living through as just 'ordinary' and as humans we are anything but, or at least most aren't. Choices abound in life and happiness is a choice (yes it is no muttering here) as is to laugh and smile, it comes from within you and nowhere else, so decide where you want to go and and what you want to be and do it. The way you do it will define where you end up. Now make your choice.    

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

THE FEELING OF BEING NEEDED

Our whole stability revolves around who we are as a person and what our value is, that is what keeps us going in a relatively stable way. Loneliness accounts today for much grief, consternation and personal upset in the form that it can make us somewhat disjointed from life, which has psychological implications. Whether we have a significant other or just very good personal friends (real friends not acquaintances) matters not it's how we communicate with them and on what level. Social interaction between others is essential even for those who like to keep themselves to themselves, for being alone is not conducive to a good and rewarding life. As a sentient society we need to commune to share to enjoy and to feel as well as exchange with others aspects of life. In doing so we re-affirm important aspects even if others opinions differs it's the fact that an exchange of conversations that touch us deep down and mean something and that we respect "that" or "those" significant others makes a world of difference. Faced with just ourselves in a world that cares not is akin to an isolation that will eventually cause the mind to be introverted and implode as far as sanity and creativeness is concerned. Ironically many people of a staid and overly religious nature tend to follow in similar pathways harbouring fear, becoming judgemental, rebuking aspects of society with a purposeful and self created venom, start lacking perception, becoming introverted, and all in all become vacuous.

Whatever one's age, the need to be needed to be cared for in as much as someone significant who has an interest in you and your well being even if they can't do anything directly themselves has a massive psychological effect in the way we live. Take this facility away and an almost automatic 'longing' starts to whell up. It varies from person to person but the people who shut themselves off have defined negative points and are often cranky, moodily, intolerable, narrow, spiteful, insular, judgemental,mean, greedy, self defined, etc, to varying degrees. Many people even take on a pet to find solace in life as that pet will give 'unconditional love' something that humans won't do and religious people definitely can't do such is their outlook via their version of God, ironically God being that of unconditional love, strange why that happens. Of course there are ideals in life, get a partner and live blissfully happily ever after, unfortunately that doesn't happen, especially in today's society that when the slightest thing goes wrong it all comes crumbling down as opposed to getting it fixed and enjoying the benefits of a heightened experience in the process. Selfishness and "me" are more of the mark of society today and that puts paid to the base lines in starting something that has longevity written in to it. Many a relationship starts with soiled goods and multiple failures and a wealth of back-up excuses as to why it's never your fault and I did this and they did that and their iPad crammed with help lines on standby to console the selfish soul.

Many put a brave face on their own relationship and well being, often talking of  their 'so called' many friends and acquaintances and those in between too. It's true some people make friends easily others just don't and actually never try, just complain that they are not lucky and it doesn't happen to them, but again they are the cause of that, people still don't come knocking on your door asking if you want a relationship, you have to open it and go out. Even Internet dating sites aren't successful in that a 5% success rate if you are lucky and have to sift through the scammes, liers, cheats, lustful, desperately lonely, weirdos, and those who treat it as an 'on-line sport'. Most successful people have someone behind them who is instrumental be it their partner / friend supporting them getting on and becoming successful. A busy life can help one get on alone, but then when at some point the parameters change there is that 'elasticated effect' when one comes flying back to a nothingness of where yesterday comprised of lots of people all around and today none of them no matter how nice they are don't ring those significant bells within. Our emotional feelings are just so that little things that happen in our life can trigger off thoughts about certain people that we never thought existed or were that deep and can affect us so much.  

One should never spurn the need of another regarding companionship whatever it is for them, even if it's not your idea of such that's not important, it's to each his / her own. The love from one human being to the next is a priceless commodity even if it's your best friend that will do, that's humanity at its best also. Never be afraid of telling someone or people how much they mean to you or how nice they are or whatever complimentary thing you can say. And although some find it incredibly difficult say something just do it and don't fear the worst either. The more you compliment others the better you will feel and the easier it will become and the lighter life will be, even just smiling on a regular basis ups your game in life. There will however be the odd person and they will be odd who can't understand what a good comment is all about or a smile for no apparent reason other than that of a smile from one human being to another. Or those that view kindness or pleasantries as a case of "what do they want from me", but let not others insecurities and patheticness rub off on to you, go your way and smile, be nice and then the hurts which come with the territory will just melt away as the vast majority although they many not say it, will be warmed by your actions. You only have one chance in life, may it pleasant at least.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
 (These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others

KINDNESS

We all like to think that we are kind at least to some extent and quickly judge others who we see as "not so kind" but not necessarily mean either. Meanness falls into a category all of its own as it has both deep inner meanings and thoughts as well as exterior repercussions.

The dictionary definition of kindness is :-
"Kindness is the act or the state of being kind, being marked by good and charitable behaviour, pleasant disposition, and concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and recognised as a value in many cultures and religions."
And it further states as an addendum :-
Analysts warn that 'real kindness changes people in the doing of it, often in unpredictable ways. Real kindness is an exchange with essentially unpredictable consequences'.

Kindness is good in every area even if it's not received as such that's not important and if we get upset because what we thought was an act of kindness on our part and it was almost thrown back in our face, then it's still an act of kindness and we should be uplifted accordingly. If we expect a fanfare of gratitude than it says even more about us than the ungrateful who didn't acknowledge the deed of kindness, even though it's nice and the humanitarian aspects of receipt of acknowledgement are always nice to receive. At times we can do kind deeds that have far reaching positive consequences yet know nothing about what our deed has done to many people in their plight of one sort or another.

Most people who are kind have certain traits within, it's not being philanthropic as that's something that is done because it can be done but on a different scale and has different values even if the deed of philanthropy is awesome, as it can be. Many elderly people with wealth often find that they need to "at last" do something meaningful with their accumulated finances and thankfully it is usually put to very good use. But there is a difference as philanthropists can also be mean and not very kind as their inner ideal has been to both view and account for their deeds and often feel the need to see in others in such a light of worthiness based upon their perceptions and feelings. People tend to be predominantly "kind" as people although there are those who just have the odd kind thought or deed now and again but it's usually based on something contrived with them being in the loop or that they know they are going to get very positive and effusive feedback which ups their ego and self esteem etc.

Kind people are usually less judgemental, less abrasive, more understanding, have a better global vision about the bigger picture, are more humble, creative, less stressed and far more stable than those who are not kind, they tend to have more friends - real friends, have more opportunities avail themselves, see more potential and can actually have better health too. Whereas less kind people even business moguls are more dedicated to themselves at whatever cost, and forever put themselves in the "me, me, me," seat in life, even when it comes to giving it has to have a self kudos in their worthiness stakes. Of course kindness isn't financial in many cases it's a giving of your time, knowledge, experience, ability, just listening to those in distress, doing a deed, being thoughtful, helping someone, etc etc, it's the deed of thought and ability over and above self value, which at times goes against cold logic. It's putting yourself out without the "why should I" which many harbour and perpetually find themselves unhappy. There are consequences for the selfless things we do in life and the selfish things we do in life.

Kindness forms an easier pathway in life, people help kind people more than those who show no personal give or movement. And contrary to general thinking kindness is a strength as to not being taken advantage of whereas those staunch bastions of the self get caught out by greed and possibilities of getting something for nothing or free, which is usually a con. Companies are judged upon kindness what is perceived that they do as a value for clients as opposed to pay, pay, pay, service where greed is God and eventually the service is overtaken by competitors because of the absence of the value / kindness factor leaves clients feeling used. We attract around us people who reflect ourselves, so if the majority of our 'real' friends are greedy or mean then we are of that make up too, there are always exceptions but by and large our comfort factors are what makes us decide what's what often over logic unless vast amounts of finance are involved then circumstances play a part, but it still doesn't rest easy with us. Kindness is a choice, like everything we do and say, so it says a lot about us that kindness is inherent or it isn't. Kindness has positve benefits selfishness has negative attributes, you will know yourself which ones you mostly attract.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)