GETTING IT RIGHT

There's one thing that really does 'rattle our cage' and that's when stuff goes wrong. It's so gratifying when our plans or circumstances fall into place it not only makes us feel good we even have a different perspective on life and the world. It's a mixture of compassion, elevation and greater understanding of all that's around us, but boy does it vanish when it all collides and goes awry. In reality it's only our mind that makes us think that way because things are as they are whatever happens the good, the bad and the indifferent, it's all processed by the self same computer - our mind. When we try to get it right it's because we have taken care and hopefully paid attention to what we are doing, so if it goes wrong we should have some idea as to how best to rectify it or pull it all together even if that is not really a very palatable idea. Overcoming disappointment is what most people tend to fall down upon, allowing the negativity of the situation to swirl around in the mind and then feeling sorry and wanting a degree of self compassion makes it even worse. The feeling that one gets in the pit of the stomach adds to the drama of it all, the mind searching for those seemingly illusive elements that we hopefully can latch upon to bring it all around again and make us feel as if nothing has happened, but it has.

It's so important to live your life with a feeling of contentment within and a feeling that you can also 'let go' when necessary too. It doesn't mean that life has to be fabulous and full of the riches that one feels that one deserves, but whatever you have and wherever you are and whatever you are going through an acceptance makes the negative values disappear. Mentally struggling takes up thought volume and in turn that narrows the space needed to process creativity, which in turn retards our thoughts, values and perspectives on life which in turn lowers our awareness and that in turn stops us enjoying the best of what's out there. It's a negative vicious circle each element feeding upon each other going round and round at the expense of our happiness, well being, health, all of which is called 'life'. It's important that whatever we do we do our best at for even at times that doesn't even go according to plan, never the less we get full marks for trying, we get nothing for doing nothing and even little more for doing things half heartedly. It's how we process our thoughts that makes a world of difference and it has amazing change properties within us when we are in alignment with ourselves and follow a purpose and direction whatever that it.

Getting it right is the number one aspect of having a correct 'Attitude', for without a correct attitude we not only don't get on well with life but are often ostracised by those around because they see us as not quite responsive or interested in anything but ourselves and our personal / internal thoughts on life and that 'woe is me' attitude then prevails. We need to respect who we are and at the same time not disrespect others which often goes 'hand in hand' , it's this dichotomy that lowers many people's resistance to moving on as they hold on to it and that's needless baggage. A hot air balloon rises when the ballast (the weights) are dropped and thus allows it to move upwards. Similarly life is very much the same in that if we are full of ballast then we will not only not move up we will stagnate and that will cause problems of its own. Moving on is the only way forward as life evolves whether we move in harmony with it or not we will subliminally be dragged along, so e need to end up where approximately we want o be and not just dumped somewhere because we didn't take any ownership of our existence.   


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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012

These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

FORGIVENESS

Can you or do you forgive, or are you a selective forgiver? Or do you prefer to hold on to what has happened either a deed done by yourself or others done to you so that you have some sort of pathetic validation in your life and to keep it alive justifies a self created penance that holds no virtue. Some people hold on to the past as an excuse for where they are now and thus have well rehearsed speeches to suite all audiences who are gullable enough to listen to them.  But just so that you know what the dictionary definition is below is an explanation that sums it all up, or at least the theory of it:-

Forgiveness is the renunciation or cessation of resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offence, disagreement, or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offence or debt'. The concept and benefits of forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, the social sciences and medicine. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives including forgiving themselves, in terms of the person forgiven or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In most contexts, forgiveness is granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is incommunicado or dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgement, an apology, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe himself able to forgive.

Life is full of wrong doings and more recently a whole plethora of substandard humans who now make the phrase "taking offence" a way of life (usually politically correct nerds), whereas years ago people just got on with life and moved forward. Those who utilise the "I've been offended" scenario do so in the hope others will take notice of them as if it is a justification of some sort for how they think, well who cares. We even have those wanting restitution for things that have been done years ago by different generations in different ideological thought times as they seem to want some kind of kudos for living in the past and not seeing the future. No amount of forgiveness by anyone about the past is going to make any difference except for those who have ego problems, and if you are religious at all it definitely doesn't make any difference as the time lines take care of that. And of course if you are a Darwinian subscriber it matters not as you are a mistake anyway so what of it.

Forgiveness is at times subjective in that one person feels aggrieved about something yet those that have supposedly done whatever it is see nothing wrong. We all know right from wrong and just because masses do something like in the Middle East where forgiveness isn't in their dictionary and live in constant upheaval and oppression then we see the result of it all on a mass scale, something that's only going to get worse. Furthermore if you are one of those that likes to be seen to be open and forgiving and says "I can forgive but not forget" then you are two faced, as that is the backdoor way of saying I can't or won't forgive. Granted we can't forget either but linking those two areas together admonishes the self of any deed pertaining to forgiveness and the thoughts behind it. It has to come from the heart and not smart political rhetoric.

It's not always easy to forgive, especially if the deed was or is very personal, however in order to forgive you have to 'love yourself', and here lies the problem, many people don't especially those again in the Middle East and Asia where love is totally conditional, i.e. if you don't do as we like or we disown you or throw a tantrum or whatever disgracefully selfish act they devise. If you respect whatever God you subscribe to then you should find solace in the fact that 'forgiveness' is a key element in the scriptural doctrine, but usually people tend to omit that in favour of their own narrow selfish and egotistical emotional levels then wonder why the edge of life has been reduced to what it is.

There are a lot of sad and emotionally lonely people out there and one must steer clear of them as they will like a vampire drain you of your energy for their own devises and comfort. They are skilled and apt at doing it like mosquito's biting you, you rarely feel it just the bump afterwards. It's self devised and so you should respect yourself and others by never entertaining negativity nor dwell on the past hurt or keep emotional diaries or check lists that keep being brought up. Whether forgiveness is in order or not, forgive yourself, because holding a grudge hurts you - definitely not the other person or people ever. Don't put yourself into that situation, let go, even if it takes courage to do so, and move on, you will be lighter and free and perhaps for the first time see the bigger picture. Many are actually afraid of "letting go" as they feel if they 'let go' of the years of harbouring hurt and malice that there will be a void within and are frightened as to how that may be filled and what others may perceive of them, all a total lack of self esteem. Love is the answer to overcoming harbouring negativity no matter what is it, but it's an option in that the self can override it, but do so at your peril.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)