WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE

It may seem strange to say what do you look like, after all we are experts in what we know and feel about ourselves. We know all the little bumps and bits and pieces and which is our best side or maybe we don't even have one. But more than just looking in the mirror and seeing ourselves via a critical eye, others see us as something totally different. With the exception of friends, relatives and possibly those we work with everyone else sees just what they see a person in their own right. Not someone who is slightly overweight or skinny or tall or short, they see a person that they have no other comparison with and one that they have to make an assessment upon. We know who we are but others see a picture that they try and assimilate into a character. Do they look mean, happy, friendly, moodily, surly, quiet, extrovert, approachable, would you trust them, are they dressed nicely or according to the setting of where they are? Do they look presentable, would you like to know them or be associated with them. And would you want to be seen with them with your friends or family etc. Our eyes are the fastest scanners on the planet women have an extraordinary sense of what someone is like, even though they can let themselves down emotionally despite that inner self saying something else.

The thing is do we actually "see" us as others do and the answer is NO we don't. We might come a close second at times but by and large others see a different us, an "us" without explanation or excuses, if we are fat they see a fat person, if we are skinny likewise, if we are badly dressed or unkempt that's how they see us. It doesn't matter whether it's a work picture or a work in the back yard picture, it still tells a story about you and quite an accurate one at that. We exude a status about ourselves that we don't realise, following fashion doesn't denote style, it denotes you "follow" and not develop your own, if you are scruffy it tells a lot about how you prioritise your looks with regards what you do, and in some cases it doesn't matter but then there's the social side to you too and if that looks like it stinks then it probably does. Nothing goes without notice even subliminally we pick up on the nuances and the statements and assess the credentials which are filled in later on - perhaps if one gets any further. Rightly or wrongly this happens many times a day and most people would be surprised to learn if they had to give an account of someone close by or in their office or others give an account of them just what things they would pick up upon.

It doesn't matter if our characters are avant guard, eccentric, dull, conservative, traditional, docile, etc, it will probably suite our overall look as it is an exclamation of us within, although some could well be helped to upgrade as they haven't a clue as to colours or styles etc, however it won't detract from any observation. Our speech, body language further punctuates whom we are as does our eye contact which the is doorway into our world and those talking to us. Of course one could go further but the essence of whom we are resides on that initial glance, and yes we can get it wrong, so if we do we are either reading the wrong messages, seeing something out of kilter or not following up with a general and overall picture, that's why it's so important to get it right from a personal perspective straight away if we are to be judged. Often second chances don't exist and personal excuses running around within your mind are futile as the opportunity to make that first grab contact pales into insignificance of what might have been but wasn't.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
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OVERCOME - IT'S ALL POSSIBLE

There is many an obstacle that comes our way in life, even when things are going swimmingly well, sometimes out of the blue we get caught up in something that jarrs or is discordant. Whether it's financial, medical, plans getting thwarted or others not complying with what we want it happens and no one is immune from it. How we view life is the difference between success and failure, how we deal with it all and internally digest it makes the difference between struggling and having a negative view point and overcoming it all and enjoying life regardless. There are two camps of thought, those that make excuses as a point of conjecture and stand by negativity as if it's a statement and thus get drawn into it and react accordingly making a meal out of it. And then there are those that accept what has happened even if reluctantly but get on with what is important in their life, placing it and what they do above the problems and not letting the problem take over, which makes a drastic difference to everything around them including their attitude to life and their perception.

It's not rocket science to realise that the positive mined souls see life for what it is and therefore see the good and great even if the dull and not so good creeps in, they also see opportunities which lie there awaiting discovery. Whilst the negative only see what they have created and thus perpetually miss out and get most of the time shunted into a siding in life from where they moan and groan and gloat at others seemingly doing better and start to concoct the "it's not fair" attitude which of course they have also created. Creating your own reality is what we do, there are facts and figures that surround us that we have either no or little control over, especially global circumstances in all areas, but what we have full control over is ourselves at all times. If we abdicate this responsibility of taking ownership of life then we are at the mercy of 'anything goes' and life will literally drag us where it's going which may not be where we want to go - and usually isn't.  

Being idealistic in life has its consequencies as it's usually mixed up with how we would like life to be and if the two are not concordent we can see life as a bit of a failure, which it isn't or we could see life as something that we have to wrestle with and that can be a mental feat of dexterity and can get us down big time. Being realistic is the better option, it's not being blunt and a matter of fact, what it does do is to allow us to move more freely and creativily and positively and have less upsets as there are no false pararameters nor areas that are hollow and full of void making scenarios. We are all "overcomers", as a race we have endured centuries over and above everything else and triumphed, created, devised, discovered, etc, and made mostly a life better than its ever been, even though we tend to grumble some endlessly and others when they feel the need to express what they feel helpless about.

Good things do come in more abundance to good people, good people like helping good people, nobody likes helping the helpless (by choice - not the unfortunate) and nobody likes helping the bad and unruley and badmouthed people as they see nothing in their future so prefer to help those that will excell with just a little help, no matter what it is. Everyone has the ability to overcome, to make the grade, the raise their bar, to elevate their life, in fact to higher whatever it is for themselves. Comparing isn't a wise move, to each his or her own, whatever your level of proficiency and comfort zone, provided you stretch and break free then life will accept the fact that you have overcome elements of life and the more you push the more it will return the rewards of your endeavours.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012