MIND GAMES

Mind games are not nice, it has to be said, games are fun, but mind games literally destabilise us, cause us to think weird thoughts, do weird things and worst of all start to scheme ourselves about things we shouldn't be even thinking about. The broad spectrum of mind games is far reaching in that it encompasses just about everything around us and inter-reacts with how we view life and those we care about and those we don't much care about in life too. It's not as if we are deceitful, although some are, it's we like to play safe with as much of life as we can because we can steer our own ship but we can't stop what's around us, the bits out of our control from happening and causing potential problems, and they do. We tell many a little white lie from a genuine concern for the truth as at times it would spoil a whole host of decisions and open up a can of worms which would or could have far reaching implications that would not be worth the end result. We can even feign that we have forgotten our partners birthday only to reveal that we have laid on a fabulous dinner with the chocolates, champagne, flowers and whatever else there is to follow, so it's all done with the very best intentions and like many a white lie there is no ulterior motive for personal gain or subterfuge of any description. Although having said this it's not an advert to go around telling white lies as if it's an OK thing to do, as like any habit, it doesn't stop there.

We play mind games with our young children to coax them into doing things or usually stop doing things as they are often quite mindful and wilful in what they do or perceive has an end result, even if they can't quite fathom out what it is. We play mind games with our friends often playfully mentioning certain "buzz words" that we know will "get them going" but as it's done playfully we both get away with it and to some extent they allow it to be a part of the "knowing" friendship that has evolved and has no malice of forethought nor anything else. We are all different and there isn't a base standard as what one sees and does and thinks it's "cool" others almost shudder at the thought of it all. The very worst mind games however have to be those of emotional blackmail, and here women have the edge at times as some can at the drop of a hat feign tears and upset to try and not only get noticed but to solicit sympathy and get their own way. Moodiness can affect everyone should they allow it and it's a manifestation of nothing more than pure unadulterated selfishness. In fact as e get a high from being happy the same self same effect can be achieved but from a negative stance from being unhappy especially if its self induced. The body secretes hormones that gives us a feeling that many wallow in and thus pout and become sullen and irascible and introverted with outward developed signs as if to attract attention for pity and solace, whereas it's nothing more than a manifestation of real selfishness and deceit and should not be entertained in any way.

Relationships falter because of mind games as do businesses too. There comes a point in both where the recipient starts to see the bigger picture and reverts from being the victim to the victor and starts to move on. You can only give someone the power to overcome you or influence you if you allow it otherwise it's 'water off a ducks back' an no matter how many unpleasant things are thrown at you if you don't catch them you've already won the game. Unfortunately many people allow ego to interject and just can't keep their mouths closed and reply so now it's like a tennis game, ping poning too and from whereas if you'd caught the ball and walked away - game over. Life is what it is, so it's imperative that we make it as easy for ourselves knowing than ANY negative emotions is going to cause a raised feeling of lowness somewhere down the line. As Gandhi put it well "The weak can never forgive, Forgiveness an attribute of the strong", and this can be seen throughout the world especially with some religiously based cultures. Playing games with life is just that, it's manipulation that always has consequences, if those around you are prone to such things, stay clear, no excuses, you deserve better so achieve it for yourself and allow others to enjoy a better quality of life via their relationships.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others),

VICTORY IN SIGHT

From the moment we are born to the day we die we have something in mind, it doesn't matter what it is but we have something that we would either like to do, happen, have more or less of or see at some juncture. Whatever it is it can vary as time, age, situations and circumstances change as they play a vital part in how we think and vary our perceptions. What we once thought was cool and on our wish list when young leaves us absolutely cold later in life and on recollection we at times wonder how we could even want whatever it was to have happened. During our life we have many an obstacle jump in front of us that throws us into a tangential situation in that we have to change tack or course in order to accommodate our pathway forward and not be browbeaten by the events which have taken place and not stagnate. But being a human being we have already that ability to move forward and stake our claim to both success and a better life ahead, especially in the West even if it's not immediately visible we are aiming for that goal. Our individuality makes life interesting and what one person may want to achieve is of little value to the aspirations of another, there are no wrongs nor rights it's just the way it is and how it is. The common denominator in all of this is achieving and the journey towards the end result, which ironically sometimes keeps on moving and thus our cause is endless, never the less the journey can be in itself just so rewarding and rich as that is where the majority of people spend their time.

Comparisons in life are useless things unless judging a competition as the criteria we all have is different and our threshold levels and aspirations are also different too. Within our remit we have our own individualism and that has a significant part to play in our life and how we live it and how we ultimately enjoy it. The mere fact that we live every day is a success to ourselves in that we do what we have to do to keep ourselves in a relatively stable framework, even if there are those around us who abuse themselves and have no respect for their lives or those of others the important think is we do. Our goals are often subliminal in that we want to build for the future, which is not a goal we set it's an inevitable situation, how we accomplish the bit in between is based on our perceptions, aspirations and a series of fluctuating goals that sometime consume our thoughts and at other times we drop them like a ton of bricks. It's good to have goals or long term aspirations as it gives us a platform upon which to present our case and make decisions. But goals can also get in the way of free thought and opportunities and some people actually get bogged down in forever making goals which causes stress, anxiety and above all many failures as they never attain or reach their goals in the time they allotted for themselves, so we need to be understanding towards ourselves and kind too and not be robots trying to achieve the almost impossible because some book or lecturer says it's the think to do. There are NO "one size fits all" aspects of life no matter where you go.

Victory is in part an attitude of mind, it's not being decorated or to receive public admiration for what you do, that's just a version of public grandeur which means nothing whatsoever, even though some people are worthy of such decorations. The personal understanding of life and that "Victim or Victor" mentality is what makes those who silently fight and stand not giving in to circumstances rather than be the pathetic politically correct nerds who are waste of space and a bane on  society. Everything is relative where some people in Africa walk miles every day just to get water and if those in the West had to do the same thing they would be probably dead by now. Having said that one cannot equate directly such societies as the cause and result of why they are like they are differs so greatly as does the overall humanitarian thoughts behind it all. But success and victory is common to both, it's succeeding beyond the odds, not giving in, overcoming, preparing to respect yourself and not being a statistic of circumstances, it's everything to do with "I've a right to be good and great" whatever that means to yourself. It's not arrogance as it's often just quietly placed in ones mind and thus ones overall attitude is one of understanding, love, strength, compassion, humility, laughter and smiles, and not accepting from anyone what they think you should do or be because it's none of their business.

The difference between success and failure is not determined by others, it's your journey, and whilst everyone may know your name the vast majority have no idea what your journey has been and what you have had to deal with, overcome and do to be just where you are today. It's all too easy for the media to brandish what they think, but the media are cold, impersonal, divisive, greedy and always on the look out for an 'angle' to hone in themselves for what they can get out of it using you as a dispensable pawn. You are not dispensable, success is already a part of your life, the sacrifices that you have made and friendships you have helped and the efforts you have put in over and above what is required already makes you a 'saint' of modern times but without the pomp and public fanfare. Life doesn't get easier, but it can be very livable if we accept that we are successful and it's not down to someone else to tell their version to make it all right, we need to pat ourselves on our own back, smile gently at ourselves in the mirror and whisper -'you've done well', because you have and because you are worth it.

For more : www.thelifedoctor.info
FREE "E" Book : www.the-alchemy-of-life.com
RADIO : www.liferadiointernational.com
©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
(These blogs are read in over 120 countries, if you like what you read please re-send them to others)