MIND GAMES

Mind games are not nice, it has to be said, games are fun, but mind games literally destabilise us, cause us to think weird thoughts, do weird things and worst of all start to scheme ourselves about things we shouldn't be even thinking about. The broad spectrum of mind games is far reaching in that it encompasses just about everything around us and inter-reacts with how we view life and those we care about and those we don't much care about in life too. It's not as if we are deceitful, although some are, it's we like to play safe with as much of life as we can because we can steer our own ship but we can't stop what's around us, the bits out of our control from happening and causing potential problems, and they do. We tell many a little white lie from a genuine concern for the truth as at times it would spoil a whole host of decisions and open up a can of worms which would or could have far reaching implications that would not be worth the end result. We can even feign that we have forgotten our partners birthday only to reveal that we have laid on a fabulous dinner with the chocolates, champagne, flowers and whatever else there is to follow, so it's all done with the very best intentions and like many a white lie there is no ulterior motive for personal gain or subterfuge of any description. Although having said this it's not an advert to go around telling white lies as if it's an OK thing to do, as like any habit, it doesn't stop there.

We play mind games with our young children to coax them into doing things or usually stop doing things as they are often quite mindful and wilful in what they do or perceive has an end result, even if they can't quite fathom out what it is. We play mind games with our friends often playfully mentioning certain "buzz words" that we know will "get them going" but as it's done playfully we both get away with it and to some extent they allow it to be a part of the "knowing" friendship that has evolved and has no malice of forethought nor anything else. We are all different and there isn't a base standard as what one sees and does and thinks it's "cool" others almost shudder at the thought of it all. The very worst mind games however have to be those of emotional blackmail, and here women have the edge at times as some can at the drop of a hat feign tears and upset to try and not only get noticed but to solicit sympathy and get their own way. Moodiness can affect everyone should they allow it and it's a manifestation of nothing more than pure unadulterated selfishness. In fact as e get a high from being happy the same self same effect can be achieved but from a negative stance from being unhappy especially if its self induced. The body secretes hormones that gives us a feeling that many wallow in and thus pout and become sullen and irascible and introverted with outward developed signs as if to attract attention for pity and solace, whereas it's nothing more than a manifestation of real selfishness and deceit and should not be entertained in any way.

Relationships falter because of mind games as do businesses too. There comes a point in both where the recipient starts to see the bigger picture and reverts from being the victim to the victor and starts to move on. You can only give someone the power to overcome you or influence you if you allow it otherwise it's 'water off a ducks back' an no matter how many unpleasant things are thrown at you if you don't catch them you've already won the game. Unfortunately many people allow ego to interject and just can't keep their mouths closed and reply so now it's like a tennis game, ping poning too and from whereas if you'd caught the ball and walked away - game over. Life is what it is, so it's imperative that we make it as easy for ourselves knowing than ANY negative emotions is going to cause a raised feeling of lowness somewhere down the line. As Gandhi put it well "The weak can never forgive, Forgiveness an attribute of the strong", and this can be seen throughout the world especially with some religiously based cultures. Playing games with life is just that, it's manipulation that always has consequences, if those around you are prone to such things, stay clear, no excuses, you deserve better so achieve it for yourself and allow others to enjoy a better quality of life via their relationships.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
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MAKING IT HAPPEN

Regardless of what we aspire to, or how we would "ideally" like life to be we have to face up to the fact that whatever is in front of us is going to be interspersed with some degree of mayhem, even if it's just a temporary setback. There's our daily life, the life that we live whether we do anything or not, and the life we make some sort of effort in to go where we would like to go and not where life takes us by default. We are all different and many are prepared to settle for what they feel comfortable with, and the pressure level at which they are also comfortable with too. Unfortunately today people often aspire to jobs and salaries outside of their area of capability and then feign stress and all sorts of things which is pathetic and rubbish, when they can't cope.  Making what we want out of life, and reasonably too, is what will give us that feeling of accomplishment, and that's a very personal feeling and thought, not something made up by the lame ducks in the media or anyone else. If what we have enables us to attain at least something towards our goals in life that's an accomplishment, not what coaches, books, TV programmes deem is what has to happen, you live your life not theirs, nor they live yours. What help or assistance you seek is something else, but the bottom line is you have to do what you need to do at your level and not a dramatised yet potted version for television that misses out more that it shows.

We don't have to be gregarious or outgoing to "make it happen" indeed there are many dull nerds walking around who have developed and produced whatever their product is who nobody knows of and who are very wealthy because of that fact. It's not a "celebrity" success market, what you have is what is going to carry you forward, although there are no guarantees that it will ever happen, but with the right frame of mind it is never the less a possibility and one that can be exploited. The bottom line with everything is are you a "mover and a shaker" or are you a "plodder and a follower" because if you are the latter then already your chances of going forward are lessened considerably, degrees of success will be mainly mind thoughts by the self. Society today is unfortunately governed for many by hype and hollow adjuncts pertaining to what some faceless moron deems as success or good or great or whatever, and in reality they have no credentials nor positioning to state such things other than it's of a personal opinion, and whilst it may sound good if that person died overnight the they would not be missed such is the strength of what they have to say.

Whether your aspirations are to run a cottage industry from home, be a tycoon of some sort, writer of your chosen subject, whatever, it's a very personal thing and not the subject of others' comments or thoughts, they can do what they want to do and move forward also. If how you are living is basically pressing all the right buttons already, then don't let the mind allow it to take you away from that thought just for the sake that you feel you need to make a point, you don't, you are fine just the way you are. So many people fail when they "have a go" but haven't the ability to push forward themselves. There are no conditions nor ground rules for life, it is what it is, it's often ourselves that creates "fictitious" rules based upon what others have done that thwarts our way forward or worse still we give credence to people we don't know thinking they know best, when it's often not true. If what you feel deep down is not unduly ruffled by life then don't change for the sake of it, if what you feel needs changing then that's the motive to make a move.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010