Saturday 28 August 2010


It's funny how when we grow up we are taught, or at least most of us to be respectful to others and others property, it's something that we more or less readily take on board because we don't want others to take advantage of us and do things that we wouldn't do. It's somehow got a bit sque-wiff but the essence of all that is still firmly in our minds, and by and large most of us adhere to it. We intermingle with people at home, at work in the street and we form certain types of relationships that at times proceed to bonds of some description, our family usually being the almost inherent bond we encounter and others as we get older, possibly with "best friends" and then our own relationships. But over and above this there are those who seek to impose criteria and unwritten rules as to what they require or about who they are. The weak step right in to adhere to such always wanting to please and those that supposedly 'know better' do what they know is expedient and cause friction, it's knowing who you are and getting your priorities right and not giving away your own authority.

Parents can abuse authority where selfishness turns into emotional blackmail and causes untold anxiety within the family as well as guilt, it shouldn't but it does. (Especially where religion is concerned). Then there's the self proclaimed responsibility "If I didn't do this they would starve or die or whatever". And if you died  yourself tonight would they starve or die, no they wouldn't, they would still survive. So we have to be clear on what our life consists of and the needs of others too, it's a two way thing and the base line revolves around love, where there is an inherent understanding of the problem. Where love has been turned off to allow selfishness to rise, then there is only a one sided aspect, which is the me, me, me, me, regardless of what the others need to do. Many Middle Eastern families and other cultures impose historically this attitude via emotional blackmail, although it is getting better with subsequent generations of families.

Self esteem also plays a major part too, where some forever seek permission from anyone to do anything just to make themselves feel good or better or get a "blessing" to do what they need to do but require none whatsoever. Subservience isn't smart nor is it warranted, despite that society has both leaders and followers and it's a natural trait within. There is a fine line between being selfish and doing what you need to do for yourself, but that "feeling" you have identifies that clearly and guilt has no part to play whatsoever. If we can't do things for ourselves then no one else can.  There is always should we seek it out a solution, amicable solutions and forced solutions, the former is the one that has real meaning and cause for the self and should not be fuelled with regrets. The latter shouldn't by and large have regrets attached too because you only have one life and if it's done with the best intention under the circumstances then it must be done. If it's family orientated the "love" should be the corner stone of moving forward regardless of the circumstances.

Fear fuels the need for permission, the invisible "they" comes into many conversations and the worst of all are the worthless "politically correct" morons who take it upon themselves to be bastions of society, whereas they are but useless inept people seeking to gain personal kudos for their own gross insecurity and a total lack of creativity and utmost selfishness in a life of painful nothingness. Those that enjoy and contribute to life just go and "do it", they stick to humanitarian and moral codes as they need followers to uphold eventually what they set out to do. It's ironically the "armchair" brigade that fear the most and as such never do anything for the "fear" rising of what others may think or do. For most cases in life the "others" (whoever they are) haven't an opinion on what you do as they are in the same boat themselves and more likely don't understand your motivation, hence it's so important to "go for it" as you are the only one with your thoughts which no one else has privy to.  

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

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