Wednesday 23 May 2012


It may seem strange to say what do you look like, after all we are experts in what we know and feel about ourselves. We know all the little bumps and bits and pieces and which is our best side or maybe we don't even have one. But more than just looking in the mirror and seeing ourselves via a critical eye, others see us as something totally different. With the exception of friends, relatives and possibly those we work with everyone else sees just what they see a person in their own right. Not someone who is slightly overweight or skinny or tall or short, they see a person that they have no other comparison with and one that they have to make an assessment upon. We know who we are but others see a picture that they try and assimilate into a character. Do they look mean, happy, friendly, moodily, surly, quiet, extrovert, approachable, would you trust them, are they dressed nicely or according to the setting of where they are? Do they look presentable, would you like to know them or be associated with them. And would you want to be seen with them with your friends or family etc. Our eyes are the fastest scanners on the planet women have an extraordinary sense of what someone is like, even though they can let themselves down emotionally despite that inner self saying something else.
The thing is do we actually "see" us as others do and the answer is NO we don't. We might come a close second at times but by and large others see a different us, an "us" without explanation or excuses, if we are fat they see a fat person, if we are skinny likewise, if we are badly dressed or unkempt that's how they see us. It doesn't matter whether it's a work picture or a work in the back yard picture, it still tells a story about you and quite an accurate one at that. We exude a status about ourselves that we don't realise, following fashion doesn't denote style, it denotes you "follow" and not develop your own, if you are scruffy it tells a lot about how you prioritise your looks with regards what you do, and in some cases it doesn't matter but then there's the social side to you too and if that looks like it stinks then it probably does. Nothing goes without notice even subliminally we pick up on the nuances and the statements and assess the credentials which are filled in later on - perhaps if one gets any further. Rightly or wrongly this happens many times a day and most people would be surprised to learn if they had to give an account of someone close by or in their office or others give an account of them just what things they would pick up upon.

It doesn't matter if our characters are avant guard, eccentric, dull, conservative, traditional, docile, etc, it will probably suite our overall look as it is an exclamation of us within, although some could well be helped to upgrade as they haven't a clue as to colours or styles etc, however it won't detract from any observation. Our speech, body language further punctuates whom we are as does our eye contact which the is doorway into our world and those talking to us. Of course one could go further but the essence of whom we are resides on that initial glance, and yes we can get it wrong, so if we do we are either reading the wrong messages, seeing something out of kilter or not following up with a general and overall picture, that's why it's so important to get it right from a personal perspective straight away if we are to be judged. Often second chances don't exist and personal excuses running around within your mind are futile as the opportunity to make that first grab contact pales into insignificance of what might have been but wasn't.

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©John Rushton / The Life Doctor 2012
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