Thursday 1 December 2011


What are you expecting to hear in reading this? What have you already got pre-set and conjured up in your mind as to what "being beautiful" is all about, because most people have well defined ideas of it in relation to a whole manner of things, including themselves, yet most would shy away from such self ideology or though. Is it indeed possible to class yourself as beautiful outside of perhaps "good looking" and that for the main part it is totally subjective. There are those who are in appearance "attractive" as they have features that conform to a set standard but that does not constitute "being beautiful" nor anything else. Some people who have on first sight quite pain features after a while exude a beauty that defies reasonable description and definition, it's almost an "holistic" presence of personality and form that melds together to portray an ambient feeling that's just so inwardly comforting. Just looking at the people around us and indeed our friends we see a collection of faces, body styles and shapes, movements and inner presences and a collection of minds, some quite dotty others exactly the opposite some even dull and dowdy, yet all have their own virtue even if we can't see it in either ourselves or them. It's far easier to fall fowl and lose interest in a so called "beautiful" person than it is with someone who initially appears ordinary then grows on you as a person of solid attractiveness and inner warmth and humour. Our emotional gaze can at times elude our own thought and subjective-ness, but like anything that has an immediate effect once that effect has had time to "settle in" then it all becomes just another part of our scenery and at times little more.

How then do you make yourself more beautiful, if such a thing can be done. Well the default situation is that one can be ugly both within and without from not doing anything. Bad thoughts, words, deeds, attitude, language, unkempt appearance, sloven, lazy, thoughtless, insensitive, selfish, self centred, and the list of negative traits goes on. Anyone who takes a pride in how they look, and it doesn't have to be designer clothes can look a million dollars. We've all seen wealthy people who have neither class nor style dressed in expensive apparel only to look like something from a drag show 'tarted' up with designer bits and pieces and no understanding of either themselves or what goes with what. The saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is just so true, and whilst some people have that "eye turn appeal" the bottom line is that those who don't have that quality usually have more stable and secure relationships. Being "in love" with yourself is not a trait to admire nor does it create stability, and for those who constantly want remarks that their bum or stomach, pecs or boobs aren't too big or whatever need to get a life and not solicit lies from those around them to try and appease their own thoughts, as it will turn into a saga of no end.

Beauty is more than just good looks, beauty has a character something that many people have very little of as they are permanently too pre-occupied with either themselves or what they do to allow others into their lives except for fleeting moments of lucidity and personal need. Those who don't have such needs or feelings of themselves seek different attributes in others preferring to look beyond the superficial or outward and seek also the inner depths and humanistic content as that gives them a feeling of happiness, sureness, stability, peace, love and presence. All of these things together offer a high degree of "oneness" that then grounds and stabilises the self so that the desire for wanting more and never totally achieving is reduced to a level that's controllable and comfortable with 'where you are' even if there's more to do or gain. There's nothing wrong in wanting to look good or better or even perhaps you wish some of your statistics were of a different size or shape, but when it becomes an obsession one then starts to lose identity and confidence which others will pick up upon, all of which is totally needless and unwarranted. Just the way you are has a beauty of its own, don't down size your own value for the sake of trying to be something or someone you are not.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011

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