Tuesday 16 August 2011

BECOMING WHOLE AGAIN

It's almost a fad to talk about a "oneness" of life, becoming stable for some is a fantasy, yet mental health is the biggest problem area in the West. Much of it is not in fact an illness as such it is a condition that is self induced because individuals literally 'let go' of life and opt for others or someone else or whatever it is they deem as a higher entity to fight their battles or live life as an adjunct for themselves. They seek to following devised stories and hyped glamour and rancid reporting by low life journalists, they seek to follow the ups and downs of celebrities that live partly in rehab clinics and have regular therapy sessions to keep themselves afloat. The single nearly always fare worse than those who have stable relationships, and by that it's usually "married" relationships not just two people shacking up together. There is something about a person who has been or is married that has a degree of stability that others rarely have, even if the relationship didn't work out. Stability can affect many gay people as their relationships are predominantly transient, and for those who are single throughout (gay or straight) age often makes them become 'precious' or very much introverted in their overall thoughts, not exclusively but overall. There is something that saying "I do" to each other in front of witnesses as a base for a life together that gives many an inner tranquil 'meaning' and "understanding" and 'confidence' that other just don't experience at all, regardless of any ultimate outcome.

However, being whole and enjoying a 'oneness' in life can be very real for everybody, married, single, gay, straight and anything else that comes into the scenario of life today. Hollowness and shallowness are self caused, as is the "me" factor, where everything is about the self. There is a massive difference between looking after yourself and being selfish, the problem is when you don't know the difference and life revolves around self induced likes and dislikes and habits and routines because there is only you in your life. Cossetting yourself becomes for some a way of life and a norm and it gets worse as one gets older until one can actually turn into a cranky old person and lose out terribly on events in life. Singles clubs, relationship clubs, dating sites on the net (comes under the gaming section now not relationships), etc are all there to get your hard earned cash and just possibly find a mate or rarely a friend, and if you you are not particularly fussy lots of sex too. Whatever action you indulge in has a repercussion that matures with age and can bring into force mental unrest plus jaundiced and sceptical thoughts based on you indulging in a shallowness of life. Where others become particularly nasty or bad you throw judgment at, yet half the problem of your own rhetoric is you. Remember if you are the result of many failed relationships or friendships you are the common denominator not the other person or people.Your failures are a result of something you didn't get right, not everyone else, even if it's just bad judgment.

Stability is a badge of identity of whom you are, it's how you see life, it has to be no one else can see life through your eyes. How you interact with life, people, situations, how caring and generous you may be not necessarily financially but of yourself, knowledge, time, listening, befriending etc, it all forms a picture that identifies you as a person. Being judgmental and arrogant brings about a surly, tetchy and embittered future where upset and coarse conversations keep on making life worse as one then finds that peace in life is not within as you've just sold out to bad taste and sarcasm and short tempered bouts of anger. Self ego worship, having "nice" people around you is fine, but like anything else in life it is a quality not quantity thing. The universal antidote to everything negative is 'love', where love is happiness reigns, where love is not present anything that can happen that is bad and fair game for disharmony, very few escape that void even if they think they know about love - it's usually a mechanically controlled financially volatile entity nothing more, it's that pathetic. Keeping our own council is par for the course of self enlightenment, seeing others and life for what it is but not getting embroiled in the detritus of it all, not getting sucked in and dragged down by the thoughts of others which is of little meaning and divisive in context. So many are paying the price for going astray "just because they could" which sidles away from correct thought and the "all about me" syndrome of having to have others of a particular vein in your life to make yourself feel better.

Like everything in life there's a stop point, a point at which what we did or are doing comes to a close, either by design or default, it matters not. Living the best we can regardless of the trappings around us is paramount as that brings in the best inner feelings one can ever get, a feeling of inner contentment and that quenched feeling in the pit of your stomach that all is definitely well, even when it at times isn't. Of course the notion of good takes courage as it means at times letting go of mind constructs and years of lecherous thoughts over "life candy" as a substitute for real empathy with humanity, old habits die hard and are at times mild forms of addiction, where one "has to" do it just to feel good. People with real love attract like minded souls, all else is a fabricated and devised thought which is transient and here lies the problem at where we started, mental stability.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2011

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