Thursday 5 January 2012


How strong are you as a person to do and say what you will without fear of upsetting others? This excludes the rude and crass who deliberately and selfishly say what they like in a rough manner and think it's clever - it isn't it makes them look more pathetic than they already are. But for many people they find themselves struggling to both tell the truth and say literally what is on their mind for fear of upsetting others, especially a significant few who they know are already very touchy on certain subjects. This situation which many find themselves in is not an isolated case it is widespread and in all honesty it shouldn't happen. It's nothing to do with being tactful nor mindful we all know when someone or a group of people are going through something that's unpleasant so we don't want to rub salt into the wound, but outside of such areas every day conversation should be free and easy. After all if you don't say what you feel and what's on your mind others will never know and progress will never be made and you'll forever feel closeted and stifled by your inability to just say what it is that's on your mind or important to you.

Families who have dominant parents or grand parents or very stringent religious leanings often have areas where there is an "unwritten" style of conversation and verbiage that is spoken and whatever one says in the family presence is not that said outside of it. Why do such bastions of negativity exist, what is the root cause or purpose, most of it is down to control, insecurity, and importantly a lack of real love, after all if you love someone - genuinely - you don't want to control them you need them free to express themselves and their love for you, which never happens in a controlled environment. Traditional cultures especially those of the Middle East and Far East have such draconian leanings, but it happens all over the world and causes a great deal of consternation, upset and tension. There is also a big difference between respect and saying or speaking the truth, everyone has feelings and many people have some kind of Achilles heal which makes them possibly unduly sensitive to certain things in life, and knowing these one tries because of ones respect for that person to tread lightly because of their prior knowledge of same. However even those who are sensitive to certain aspects of life and styles of conversation need also to be understanding that the world doesn't revolve around them, not now nor ever, and that other people have a perfect right to say as they please even if it causes some degree of consternation. Selfishness and possessiveness works both ways and if it is lauded out in one direction get ready for the return wave to follow as it surely will, often in tsunami proportions.

In the West we are basically free to say what we will about anything that we feel is of interest to us. What interests us may be of no interest or even boring to other people. We have a generation of politically correct peasants that seem to have be borne out of a breed of sub standard human beings, but hopefully they will die out leaving a better place for the rest of us. Similarly protocols that one can't say certain things in certain places or to certain people is rubbish, no one is better than anyone else be they King, Queen, President or Prime Minster, Pope, etc, it doesn't mean again one has the right to be rude, but such people are only human and are subject to the very same failings and bad decisions and degrees of stupidity, bad manners and weaknesses that everyone else has despite their banks of advisers who at times seem to live in an alien world, or at least not of this one. We've all heard conversations by people saying "Oh you can't say that because  so and so will get upset", or "they don't like that kind of conversation" or "we don't mention it here" and so it goes on a plethora of self built up paranoid statements wafting around stopping real free flow of conversation, good ideas, thoughts and deeds being done because of "gatekeepers" and insignificant people hiding conversation from even more insignificant people who seemingly can't handle the truth because they themselves are mentally impotent of solidity and mettle.

There is also a type of person today that for some reason or another gets "upset" or "offended" just because someone has spoken their mind in all honesty and said what they have had to say. Well, get upset but don't expect an apology for your own redundant failings and narrow and pathetic view point, either get over it or just stay at home and listen to music. This sheer effrontery of having to tell others that you are not in alignment with current conversation stinks and stifles any degree of freedom or alternative view point or conversation, by all means don't agree that's quite OK, but to go down the lame and selfish route of "I've been offended" should be followed by an iced bucket of water thrown over them to complete the issue. Society moves forward by people speaking their minds, creative processes likewise need that same freedom as do developmental areas it's what separates the developed countries and those that follow. There's no room in any society for a lack of freedom in speech, it's the life blood it's how people communicate and stops hidden conversations and plots and riots when all is in the open and not festering in random places which suddenly boils over and comes together in a general consensus via some social media network or platform. Listening is an art form, it's not a science, not the "snooping" that governments do to quell their own paranoia but the "listening" to the way the populous talks and what they say. It's this embodiment of people who need respect not the focus on the minority who don't care. In future just state your case and if others get upset "tough" you have NO contract with anyone to supply their happiness nor avoid negativity  for their deficient mind thoughts with stylised conversation. Speak up, get heard, state your case, you are worth it every day of your life. If you don't state your case by default you are lessening who you are.

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2012

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