Monday 15 November 2010

WRESTLING WITH SELF ESTEEM

As a society today one wonders at times if we have progressed mentally or it's just the physical things around us that have gotten more technically advanced and we have stayed put. The number one problem affecting society is mental health, not the kind that we are all going loopy, but the stability of thought based upon who we are and what life is all about. We all go through ups and downs in life no one is immune from that at all, and by and large we overcome or come to terms with whatever it is, the human being is quite a robust piece of biology and can withstand more that it cares to think it can. The advent of shrinks and coaches is an all too easy step for some to try and pour out their heart akin to some failed Hollywood drama scenario and hopefully self pity will come out of it and an answer to the situation at hand. Unfortunately many of the shrinks and coaches aren't that clever and going through text book check lists written by others isn't always that exciting nor productive. It's a sad tale that whom you are speaking to is only as good as the last book they read, or maybe not even as stable as yourself, real intuitive and balanced thought is a prize that most never ever get near to, at least not in this life time.

The press and media churn out a whole load of diatribe every day in the hope that it will like fly paper catch a number of victims that will latch on to their devised copy and manufactured statements. To a large extent it works, especially with women who seem to revel in what others are doing especially other women with regards their shape, size, dress sense, who slept with whom, what he said what they did what she wants and so on, and view shopping as a sport where handbags and shoes are part of the prize trophy, something that leaves most men completely dazed and flummoxed as to this personal fascination with people you never meet nor will ever know. (Over 38 women's magazines as opposed to 3 men's magazines currently available). It's not that men don't have interests in areas like sports, indeed some become obsessed with it or hobbies like fishing which is largely confined to the male sex. Not that men they don't have self esteem issues either, they do but it's all manifested in a totally different way. What is wrong with being just you, you will never ever be like someone else no matter how hard you try because you don't share their brain, so following others actually places you as a second best person always following and lacking.The problem with forever following, which is not the same as being observant as to what's current, big difference, is that you are always a "has been" and your mentality usually reflects this when it comes to knowledge and conversational issues very little ever being original, most of it stolen from others or what you've read about others.

Forever complaining about weight, looks, lack of money, friends, your job, what others did or didn't do, will in the long term not only make you dull, which you may have arrived at that point already, but it will affect your mental disposition and how you view both yourself and life. You only have one chance at life, so it's imperative that you make it the best way you can. Narrowness of thought about others and being judgmental will forever hold you back and cause great consternation, which again doesn't mean you can't have an opinion. Individuality, self creativeness, presence of your own heart, your own thoughts are star qualities that everyone picks up upon and guarantees an acceptance as to whom you are, not what you want people to think you are, which is somewhat disingenuous. If you crave to be respected then people must know the real you not your potted and watered down version of others who you've taken on board because then you lack personal presence. Life isn't a rocket science expedition, it's been going on far too long and through far too much to be written about succinctly, every book written about life is only a snapshot of that moment for as humans we evolve moving on. If you can't be yourself, who can you be, and would anyone really want to know the fabricated you?

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©John Rushton / The Life Alchemist 2010

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